Life Without Hope (38 page)

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was plenty of cats like that, real gorillas with a gun, but hoes when

it came to their fist. Major whimpered again for me to help him.

I bent down to untie him. Blazack dropped the iron and grabbed

my arm, I shoved him. My instincts told me to go for my heat.

“
Don’t make me havta bust your ass in here nigga,” I said, feel-

ing the adrenaline rush of a fight.

“
My nigga you really ain’t tryna see me,” Blazack’s mouth said,

but his body spoke a different language as he took a step back, siz-

ing me up, his eyes registering the surprise of my boldness. From

the corner of my eye I saw the rest of the crew, watching, waiting.

I guess the jury was still out with them in choosing whose side

they were on.

“
Yeah, you right, I ain’t trying to see you. You need to go! I

ain’t paying your bitch ass five G’s a week to be runnin’ round here

torturing and killin’ niggas,” I said, pointing a finger in his face. I

went to finish untying Major, at the same time, I kept my eyes on

Blazack.

“
I’ma be the muthafucka putting the fear of God into these

niggas,” Blazack shrilled angrily. “Nigga, you couldn’t sell a fuckin’

bird until I got here!” With one swift kick, Blazack sent the chair

with Major still in it toppling over onto the floor. Major got up

and ran to the stairs. I told him to meet me at my car. He needed

medical attention. There was no way in hell I was going to let him

leave looking like a creature from the horror show.

“
You think we don’t know how much money you makin’ and

that Brooklyn bitch breakin’ ya. Trina playing ya like a sucka.

While you paying us fuckin’ pennies, you got the bitch pickin up

the drop off.” I held my temper in check while Blazack vented. As

he talked, I was surprised to learn this was some shit he wanted to

get off his chest.

“
Ever y day, I give that bitch five or six hundred G’s, and some

days more, and you trustin’ a bitch like she sincere.”

A sacred rule of the dope trade is to never let the right hand

know what the left hand is doing. They didn’t know that it was

because of Trina that I was not only locked in to a major dope sup-

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ply, but she organized and carefully set everything into to motion,

including her advice on how much I should pay my workers. I

wasn’t going to tell him that.

Right then as I looked around at the crew watching me, wait-

ing for my reaction, I could smell the larceny simmering in the air

like a hot pot of treason about to boil over. Also I understood

where Blazack was coming from, but I could not let him get away

with all the senseless shit he had been doing.

“
Yo, you gotta to go, or stop the dumb shit,” I said coldly.

“
Dat nigga beat us for ten G’s in dope,” Blazack said, dis-

gruntled.

“
Naw he beat you for ten grand in dope. You knew the nigga

was a smoker in the first place,” I reasoned, took a step closer and

dropped the bomb on him. “Beside, you been taxing niggas. I

believe you been servin’ my dope and the dope you takin’ from

niggas, too.”

Blazack just looked at me as he ran his tongue around the dia-

monds in his mouth like he was searching for the right words. I

caught him off guard. But now he knew that I knew he was play-

ing both sides of the street. From the look in his eyes, I could tell

he was trying to figure out how in the hell I found out. The room

became quiet. This was a standoff.

From there on out, the events that took place in that basement

would seal my fate. I tried to let my mind catch up with my

thoughts, appraise the situation for what it was worth. Quickly,

with Blazack staring me down, my assessment went to damage

control. My ship with a small crew of niggas was taking in water

like the Titanic with a hole in it. I had to plug the hole, fast!

“
The reason that I came here was to give ya’ll niggas a big raise

in pay,” I lied. The whole time I kept my eyes on Blazack. I went

on and told them about the plan I had for operating out of safe

houses. Each one of them would be assigned a house with a crew

under them that they would be responsible for. When I told them

I had the cop, Spitler, in my pocket, they were all happy to hear

that. Spitler could be a royal pain in the ass for a dope boy. With

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some of the tension gone, I turned to Blazack.

“
Dig yo, you can bounce my nigga if you got a problem with

what I’m asking you to do. But if you do decide to get your shit

together, you get ten grand a week.”

It wasn’t no military secret, Blazack was the glue that held us

together. Every team had to have an enforcer, a man that didn’t

mind getting paid in blood. Blazack smiled at me.

“
However.” I continued, “You’re suspended for two weeks

with no pay.” The smile died on Blazack’s face as his eyebrows

knotted together.

“
Gucci, you’re going to take Blazack’s position until …”

I let the word hang in the air as I gave Blazack a look that came

with a silent threat.

He cursed. Called me a bitch-ass nigga under his breath. I

acted like I didn’t hear him.

That day when I walked out of that basement, for the first

time in my life I won the entire respect of the crew, including

Blazack’s.

*****

“
What do you want to drink?” I asked Major, trying not to

look him in the face as we got into my car. He looked like he stood

in front of a train.

I knew he was in great pain as he mumbled, “Whatever.” I saw

the tears in his eyes. Eyes of a defeated man. A mere husk of his

former self. Major had not one, but two college degrees. He was

in the Marines and had the pleasant demeanor of a soft-spoken

Southern gentlemen with manners to match. I knew how bad he

wanted to get off the dope, but the demons wouldn’t let him. He

talked to me about it on several occasions.

We drove through Frenchtown, the place looked like the walk-

ing dead. Junkies tried to flag down my car hoping to buy some

dope. Nina Brown stood in the middle of the street like she had

an ‘S’ on her chest looking like a zombie. I almost ran her over. I

knew if I stopped they would rush my car like starving Africans do

missionaries.

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As I drove, casually I asked Major where was the dope was that

he stole from Blazack. I didn’t really expect for him to be truthful

with me. When he told me that he had it stashed over a female’s

crib, and the only reason he did not tell Blazack was because he

was afraid Blazack would kill her, too. We stopped off and picked

up the dope. I took half and gave him the rest. I pulled into a

drive-through liquor store, bought a bottle of E&J, a bag of ice

and coconut cream to cut it with. I flirted with a sexy redbone

cashier that looked like Sade.

Drinking and driving, sipping on juice with my system boom-

ing, I pulled into the mean strip on FAMU College campus. Even

though it was raining a light drizzle, females, honeys galore, were

jocking my ride. College girls be on dope boys like groupies on

rappers.

At 11:04 a.m., I was looking for Trina’s car. It was still raining.

I found her car in the parking lot. Moments later, as scheduled,

she came out of the building wearing blue jeans and a gray FAMU

sweat shirt with a black leather jacket that had NY stenciled on the

back in big purple letters. She wore my Chicago Bulls baseball cap

pulled down over her eyes as she walked to her car with umbrella

in hand. I honked the horn. As soon as she saw me her face lit up

and she gave me a mischievous grin. I know what was on her

mind. Sex. Occasionally I would pick her up from school and we

would go back to her place right off campus and have sex. She

hardly ever stayed there, so I also thought it was an ideal spot to

hide the money since it was her job to pick it up daily. Trina could

get so animated when she was happy, maybe that was the Spanish

side of her. She approached my car like she was dancing in the

rain. The bounce in her step had her ponytail swinging like a devi-

ous kitten. With all the vibrance of a young woman ready to set

out to conquer the world, no one would have ever thought she

could be the brainchild to a million dollar drug ring. A Brooklyn

chick.

I rolled down the window and she kissed me with enough

tongue to hang a man with, she then looked in the car at Major.

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“
Ouch, what happened to him?” she asked. I shrugged my shoul-

ders as if to say,

I dunno

.

I got out of the car and walked under her umbrella to her car.

We sat inside. I told her about our new living arrangements in

Quincy. I talked as the rain pelted the car windows like soft music

to my monologue, a conspiracy between lovers. I told her about

the plantation mansion I was going to buy and remodel. She lis-

tened intently. Afterward, she asked about Black Pearl, I detected

a real bond of sisterhood there. We both knew that Pearl was due

to have the baby any day now.

Ever so gently, Trina leaned over and kissed me passionately,

sucking on my bottom lip as her fingers walked down my thigh

until she reached my fly. She eased her hand inside. “Papi,” she

crooned breathily as her hand stroked me. I closed my eyes just as

the windows in the car began to fog.

“
Papi, I want to go to Freak Nic in Atlanta, me and the girls,”

she said as she licked my neck with hot saliva and took my joint

out of my pants. I was about to say yes, and then she added, “I’m

going to stop by the prison and visit Mike.” Right then, for a fleet-

ing second, I saw a gleam of something in her brown eyes. She was

talking about her ex-boyfriend. My instincts tried to tell me some-

thing, but jealousy was a barrier as I thought,

damn, this nigga in

prison, but he’s out here in my girl’s mind.

“
No.” I answered Trina’s question flatly. She looked up at me

with optic slits that were hard to read, but the message was con-

veyed, she still had feelings for him, and I was jealous and seething

with the rage that came with it.

“
That’s your fuckin’ problem, you and your frat sistas party

too damn much,” I snapped. Trina shook her head and craned her

neck the way a woman does when she is trying to understand her

man.

I tried to soften the blow, hide my feelings like a fire under the

bed, but the smoke was smoldering in the dark recess of my eyes.

“
Ma, this weekend we s’pposta fly out to meet wit yo peeps,

remember?” I said with the timbre of my voice softening. She did-