Life Without Hope (40 page)

red with dark circles underneath them. A tuft of unruly blond hair

hung over his left eye. Trina rushed out of the house, the sound of

her slippers racked the concrete like a woman on the verge of

panic. She took Lil Man out of my arms and looked at me and

asked was everything all right. I told her to go back inside. She

walked away with the baby on her hip and glanced back over her

shoulder. In the distance, I saw Major grooming a horse watching

me carefully.

“
How in the fuck did you get through that gate?” I asked

pointing a finger at him.

“
I had one of my men take a sledgehammer to it,” he said.

I turned, and vaguely I could see the face of a Black man sit-

ting in the front seat of one of the cop cars.

“
What, you come to arrest me or sumpin?”

“
Maybe. I thought I told you not to sell that stuff to the white

kids!” he said angrily jabbing his finger into my chest. I took a step

backward and braced myself. In the background, I heard the

sounds of police car doors opening.

“
Man you know damn well I don’t fuck around in Frenchtown

no mo.”

“
Yeah, but your gang does, Blazack and his crew.”

“
Then that’s who the fuck you need to be harassing! He’s the

one payin you now, not me. I’m outta the game.” I lied, and we

both knew it. It was just that I graduated to selling weight, a hus-

tler’s dream. Ten keys or better and most of my clients were Willie

Falcon’s people.

Agitated, Spitler spoke through clenched teeth. “You’re not lis-

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tening to me. Someone is flooding the town with high quality

heroin called China White, now we got white kids dying too,” he

said, walking up to me getting all in my face. I could smell his

fetid breath. There was something about what he said. Maybe it

was the way that he said it all in my face. I just lost it.

“
I don’t give a flying fuck about no white kids! All my life nig-

gas been dying around me like flies and no one cared about them,

but the moment white kids start dying there is a problem with

that.”

“
It’s you! And I know that it’s you flooding the town with

dope. Look how you’re living.” For emphasis he turned and ges-

tured with his arms doing a half circle. I saw his cheeks flush red

with envy. He walked over to my black Bentley and spit on the

ground in disdain.

“
We’re going to have to make other arrangements.”

“
Arrangements!?” I retorted.

“
Yep. Arrangements for you to start paying me.”

“
Payin’ you. I told you, I’m out of the business.”

“
And I’m telling you, you’re going to start paying me again

since you violated the terms of our agreement.”

“
What fucking agreement? I don’t know what the fuck you

talkin’ bout.”

“
Keep the fucking dope out the white com –”

I lost my temper. “I don’t give a fuck about you and no crac-

ka-ass kids. If I give you one fuckin dime, it will be over my dead

mama’s grave. Now get the fuck off my property!” I turned and

walked away.

“
You’re going to regret you ever laid eyes on this town … you

fucking nigger!”

I stutter-stepped in my tracks. His words stabbed me in the pit

of my gut. I had never been called a nigger by a white man in my

entire life, for some reason the shit hurt, those words would always

have an humiliating affect on Blacks. The voice in my head told

me to keep walking. Spitler was trying to bait me.

*****

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That night I held an emergency meeting at my estate. I sum-

moned everyone on the carpet. The two lesbians, Tomica and

Evette were the first to arrive. Trina greeted them at the door. The

atmosphere suddenly turned festive. I watched them on camera

from the palatial confines of my study. As soon as Black Pearl

walked in with Lil Man the rest of them women showered them

with affection. I could hear all that damn commotion. Women!

Later the rest of the crew arrived, Gucci, Mad Ball, Twine and

Dirty. Everybody was driving New Benzes or BMWs, except

Blazack, he was driving a big-ass Hummer. Trust me when I say

that he gave new meaning to the term, “body space” that was usu-

ally meant for luxury.

I invited everyone into my study. They walked in, in awe over

the elegant beauty and décor, soft mahogany colors, lots of leather

and leopard skin. A lion’s head adorned the wall to my left. Also

on the wall were pictures of African women, warriors, nude, cap-

tured in battle at war.

I sat behind my desk smoking a Newport cigarette. Lil Man

ran in and dived on my lap playfully, forcing me to break my train

of thought. I cuddled him in my arms. He was like my adopted

son.

With everyone seated except Blazack, I looked around and it

kind of choked me up. I built an empire, and these was my nig-

gas, common everyday folks.

As I talked Trina came and stood by my side like the First

Lady.

“
I called ya’ll here cause we got a problem.” I went on to

explain to them the situation concerning Spitler. Even though I

did not have my hands directly in the mix of things, other than

supplying major weight from time to time to the crew and letting

the girls do some trafficking, whatever Blazack and his crew decid-

ed to do with their profit was their business. In a lot of ways I was

an outsider. I just wanted them to be on guard. Needed them to

know and understand that we were still family.

There was one more issue, Tomica and Evette were working

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independently of each other trafficking Boy to three major cities:

Chicago, Detroit and Baltimore. I tried to separate Tomica and

Evette as best as I could to stop them from stealing my shit. There

was a guy in Baltimore who just happened to be where Evette

delivered. He owed me a hundred grand. He called to tell me he

couldn’t come pay me my money because he was sick and that the

only way he felt safe that I would get it, was for me to personally

come pick it up. Not. Dude gave me a bad vibe. After arguing

with him over the phone, I had a migraine headache, plus it was-

n’t the first time he tried a stunt like that with my money. I knew

that he had a bad gambling habit and liked to spend money on

pussy. I decided to let him keep it, fuck it. Charge it to the game.

I just threw it up in the air for the head to chew on. I guess to test

my judgment.

Surprisingly Evette raised her hand. As usual, she was dressed

to impress. She wore lots of jewelry and a light brown miniskirt

with a matching see-through blouse and high heels with her toes

exposed. She wasn’t wearing a bra and showed lots of cleavage,

enough to capture a man’s imagination.

“
If I go get the money can I have it?” she asked, hesitantly.

“
Naw girl!” Tomica was on her feet. “I don’t trust that skinny-

ass nigga from B-More further than I can throw him. About a year

or so ago didn’t he leave his Cadillac in pawn to you?” Evette asked

me. I thought about it.

“
Yeah.” I nodded my head as I thought about what she said.

The two women began to argue back and forth.

Mad Ball said, “Something don’t smell right with dude all of a

sudden wanting you to come pick up the money.”

Just then Trina bent down and whispered into my ear, “Don’t

let that girl go get that money. I thought you called everyone here

to officially let them know that you were out the game.”

“
Shut up!” I yelled at her causing everyone in the room to turn

and look at us. For the past year or so Trina had been bugging the

hell out of me to get out the game. Often she would plead with

me to the point of tears. What she didn’t know was her cousin

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placed so much faith in me, I felt a sense of loyalty to him. Hell,

the man made me what I was. From the federal detention center

in New York, he was still making major moves, placing me in key

situations of certain operations. He never forgot about me, the

young nigga that came up on the grind. Two weeks in the game

and I made two million. He thought I was smart, told me so

often. He thought it was me that called all the shots, made all the

major moves. What he didn’t know was that Trina was the real

mastermind. She always played her part, stood in the shadows and

gave me that credit like I was the genius. I never knew that one

day I would realize just how much I underestimated her intelli-

gence. Only then it would be too late.

“
I’m going to pick up the money,” Evette said as she nervous-

ly rubbed the palms of her hands on her thighs as she walked over

to my desk. “I’ma be on the first thang smokin to B-More in the

morning.” With that she strutted out of the door.

Tomica came and leaned on my desk with her jawbone show-

ing from failure of controlling her anger in losing the battle of

temperament. She spoke, “You greedy ass bastard! All that fucking

money we made you, and you’re going to let that girl take a risk

like that?”

Tomica bit down on her lower lip fuming with anger. She con-

tinued, “Word is bond! You better hope that nothing happens to

her.”

“
Is that a threat?” I asked, tempted to get out of my chair and

slap the taste out of her mouth for disrespecting a nigga.

“
Naw, it’s a fuckin’ promise!” she shot back, turned and

abruptly stalked out of the door. I knew that she was headed to try

to change Evette’s mind. Just that fast the atmosphere changed.

Talk about a fucking bad apple, them New York bitches keep some

shit going. I was denied what I had been trying to deny, the price

that came with riches: mo’ money, mo’ bullshit.

The room suddenly turned quiet, the kind of silence that

comes with the chaos in the aftermath of upheaval that people and

their problems make.

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Finally I said, “Fuck dem bitches! They been stealing my shit

anyway, think a nigga don’t know, I just can’t prove it,” I reasoned

out loud. I wanted Trina’s wannabe slick ass to know that I was

talking about her, too. Trina’s body flinched like she had been hit

with a body blow as she took a step back from me. I could feel her

eyes burning holes in me. Lil Man was fast asleep on my lap. All

of a sudden, everyone was talking at the same time.

“
Hold up! Hold up!” Blazack shouted above the voices, get-

ting everybody’s attention. As he took the toothpick out of his

mouth, the diamond pinky ring on his finger sparkled an array of

brilliant red and blue colors, flickered images of his baller lifestyle.

“
I’ma bust dat cracka’s ass if he tr y to stop us from getting our