Light in Mourning (Mourning, #2) (26 page)

“I don’t want this to be goodbye. I’m afraid you’re telling me goodbye.” He choked out the words, his eyes boring into mine.

“Never. I’m never saying goodbye. I couldn't if I tried. I love you so much more than I ever thought possible. I can’t leave you. This,” I placed my palm over my heart, “this beats for you. I can’t live without my heart, and you have it.” I prayed it was enough to ease his mind.

He only nodded, his hands at my hips holding me to him.
 

“Do you believe that?”
 

He licked his lips again and watched me. I could see his brain working as he processed my words.
 

“Tristan. It’s true.” I stroked his cheeks with my thumbs before leaning down and pressing my lips to his, taking him in a kiss, praying I could communicate all my love for him in one passionate, possessive action.

“My heart doesn’t beat without you. You’re stuck with me.” I pulled away and grinned. His beautiful smile lifted at the corners and the twinkle returned to his eyes.
 

“There’s no one else I’d rather be stuck with,” he murmured and pulled my lips down to his again as he worked his hips against my own, restarting our passionate coupling. I moved with him even slower than before, cherishing our connection, not wanting to tear our lips apart.
 

“And just for the record, there’s no one’s ass I’d rather be stuck with.” He nipped at my earlobe before turning us over in one smooth motion, holding my thighs high in his hands and plowing into me. I grabbed the headboard and clenched my fists around it, my head thrust back in pleasure. I moaned his name as he rocked into my body, hitting every sensitive nerve I had. My eyes flickered open as he thrust and I watched his hair fall over his forehead, his head bent down, watching where we connected: where our bodies came together, where I took him in with all the love I had. He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and his hands tightened on my thighs. So tightly, it was nearly painful— so tightly, he would leave bruises just as he’d done that night last summer. It was like he was holding onto me for dear life, as if despite everything I’d told him, he was still afraid I would run.
 

“Fuck, Georgia. So close. Come with me. I need you to come with me.” He groaned before his head shot up, eyes on me, lip still sucked between his teeth. My climax built in my core, the pressure becoming unbearable before it exploded over me like a freight train. Tristan thrust twice more before his whole body shuddered, a soft moan escaping his beautiful lips. His eyes fluttered closed, his hips slowed their rhythm, and he bent down, his beautiful body curved over me, his head on my shoulder and heated pants shaking his body. One palm trailed up my torso and curled around my neck, holding our heads together as he emptied into me. His hips finally stilled as he stayed inside me. I took everything he had to give. I was open to him and nothing could take me away, but I feared his own demons refused to let him see that.
 

I wondered if this would be our battle. He would always fear that I would leave, and I was afraid his past would forever haunt us.

“Mmm, come back here and warm me up,” I heard Tristan groan as I peeled myself off his body to head for the bathroom.
 

“I can’t hold it anymore.” I squealed as he pulled me back onto his hard body and skimmed his hands up and down my back and torso.
 

“So tickling would be a bad idea?” He dug his fingers into my hips and I burst into a fit of giggles, writhing away from him.

“Mercy, God, mercy!”
 

His fingers slowed their assault, but he still held me to him. I finally quit laughing and looked up into his eyes. They sparkled and hummed with energy, but that heart-stopping smile he usually had when he was teasing me was absent.
 

“You’re so fucking beautiful in the morning,” he said without an ounce of amusement on his face.
 

My cheeks flushed at the compliment. “I think you need to have your eyes checked.” I pushed away from him to head for the bathroom.
 

“Let’s get married,” he blurted.
 

“You already asked me that and, as I recall, I said yes.” I lifted my hand and spun the ring on my finger.
 

“No, let’s do it this weekend.”
 

“You’re serious?” I lifted my eyebrows in surprise.
 

“As a heart attack. Everyone we love is here. Let’s do it this weekend.”

I furrowed my brow as I considered his words. “I don’t want to rush it.”

“It isn’t a rush; I asked you the first time last winter. I wanted to marry you then and I want to marry you now. Nine months, I’d call that a pretty long engagement.”

“Not really. A lot of people plan a wedding for a year, or even two. Anyway, what about your dad?”
 

“He’s not really a wedding kind of guy. Come on, let’s do this.”

“Tristan, I told you I’d marry you. Give me time to plan a wedding.”

“You said yes three months ago and you still haven't chosen a date. No wedding planning in sight. Let’s do this, Georgia. Stop fucking around.”

My face dropped in shock. “You think I'm putting you off?” I whispered.
 

“I don’t know what you’re doing. What I know is you won’t give me a date to be my wife.” He deadpanned. The pain that had crossed his beautiful features last night was back.
 

“God, I’m not putting you off. I want to marry you. It’s just been so busy this summer, so many things have come up. I just wasn’t sure—”

“If you still wanted to?” His jaw worked back and forth, anger flashing across his stunning features.
 

I sat there, letting his words sink in, his hands digging into my hips, keeping me positioned on his body. I chewed my bottom lip into my mouth as I held his fiery gaze. I tried to get my thoughts together before I said something I didn’t mean.
 

“That was not what I was thinking. Now let me up to go the bathroom.” I pulled off his body, his arms falling away from my hips in defeat. I needed a minute to collect my thoughts. I headed for the bathroom and took care of business. Anger boiled in my stomach at his assumptions. I hadn’t put off the wedding planning because I didn’t want to marry him. I didn't
think
I'd done that anyway. I took a deep breath and tried to see things from his perspective.
 

He sat up in bed, perched against the headboard, his fingers tapping a rhythm on his sheet-covered thigh when I exited the bathroom.

“Hey . . .” I slid up beside him and curled around his body, pressing my hands against his pecs and placing a sweet kiss on his lips. His eyes softened and his hands came around to envelop me in a calm embrace.
 

“I want to marry you, Tristan. You put this ring on my finger and that’s it. You’re not getting rid of me, not ever.” I stroked my fingertips along the stubble at his jaw. “But I don’t want to rush this. I’m afraid you’re only saying this right now because you think I'm going to run with the whole Lexi thing, but I’m not—”

“That’s not it. I don’t think you’re going to run because of that. I just . . .” He trailed off and diverted his gaze.
 

“You just what?” I angled his head back to me to meet my eyes.
 

“I’m scared. I’m afraid you’re going to run because everyone runs on me. I was good all summer. I kept telling myself you wouldn’t, but I’m afraid this Lexi thing may push you over the edge. And when you needed a girls’ weekend . . . I just remember with Kyle that’s how you started to pull away.” He sucked his beautiful full lip between his teeth. My breath escaped in a soft whisper as I ran my thumb over the sculpted bow of his top lip and tugged his bottom one free.

“I’m not running. I’ll always need a girls’ weekend, and anyway, look how that turned out. Here I am, back in your bed.”

“Our bed.”

“Our bed.” I smiled.
 

“I want to marry you because I want you to be my wife. Sooner rather than later.” He slid a warm palm around my neck, his thumb working soft circles on my cheekbone.
 

“Yeah?” Tears sprang to my eyes as I watched the love pouring from him. He had so much love to give. He’d been cheated from his mother’s love when he was little, but the love he held inside him overwhelmed me.
 

“Yeah.” He brought his lips to mine in a soft kiss, his tongue caressing my lips, letting him once again own my heart.
 

“Okay.” I pulled away from his lips, a smile lighting my face.
 

“Okay what?” His emerald green eyes searched my own.
 

“Okay, let’s get married.”

“This weekend?” His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“We’ve been engaged long enough. I’m ready to make you mine.” I grinned up at him. A heart-stopping smile lit his face. His teeth were on full display, lips curved up in a brilliant smile.
 

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful.” He threaded both his hands into my hair and crashed my lips to his. “I’m so fucking ready to tie myself to you forever.”

“Thanks, I think.” I laughed.
 

“Smart ass.” He flipped me over and took my lips with his again, before moving along to my neck and across my collarbone. He discovered my body with his lips and his hands, skimming, sucking, caressing, and loving and it was the most beautiful wake-up call I’d had with him yet.
 

“Will you walk me down the aisle, Silas?”
 

“Georgia . . .” He leaned in and planted a kiss on my cheek. “It would be my honor.” I could see tears swimming in his eyes. “Now let me see you.” He held me at arm’s length to inspect the lace dress that hugged my lean form. “This is way too old-fashioned, we need something sexier.” He swatted me on my ass and I giggled before turning back into the dressing room. Drew, Silas, and I were at a local dress shop. I was forced to buy off the hanger, but I was glad to have a wedding dress at all after Tristan sprang his “let’s get married right now” proposition on me.
 

The consultant zipped me into a flowing champagne-colored dress. I stepped out of the dressing room and onto the pedestal to take in my reflection in the three-way mirror.
 

“That’s what I’m talking about. Spin.” Silas turned his finger in circles.
 

“Oh my God, G.” Drew stood with her hands locked to her lips, tears pooling in her eyes. “It's breathtaking.”

“Really?” I turned in the mirror. “You think he’ll like it?” I took in the short train before my eyes zeroed in on the intricate beadwork on the straps. They came together across my shoulder blades and then connected in a waterfall of lace and beadwork down the center of my spine to the small of my back where they attached to the champagne satin.
 

“He will be breathless, love.”

“Yeah?” I turned, a smile curling my lips, tears swimming in my eyes as the overwhelming emotion came to the surface. I was marrying Tristan today. My heart thudded in my chest. I was excited, but didn’t have a single second thought. I expected Drew and Silas to second-guess me, but instead they'd squealed and pushed me into the car to get a dress before our evening ceremony.