Like Gold Refined (17 page)

Drew leaned forward across the table. “Speaking as one who has been Mindy’s grandfather for a while, I want to see her remain in the family circle where she is known and loved, where she has been nurtured to become the winsome and surprisingly mature child that she is.” In spite of the solemn circumstances, he smiled as only a proud grandfather could.

Virginia could feel the gentle pressure of her mother’s hand on her own, and she blinked against the tears her parents’ warmth and concern evoked.

“But I also know that a court ‘fight to the finish’ could be devastating,” Drew added, his tone very serious. “Devastating to Mindy, to you and, yes, to the mother. Jenny could—out of spite—jeopardize Mindy’s future by ensuring that you would never see her again.”

At the involuntary shudder that passed through her body, Jonathan covered Virginia’s other hand with his own. They looked at each other, understanding without having to say it that Drew’s intent was not to frighten them but to help them think carefully through the various paths before them.

“It seems to me,” Belinda now put in, “that Mindy’s desire to go to Jenny—coming ‘out of the blue’ with no prompting—is an important piece here. If you were to say no to this, and if … and if Jenny were to die without coming to faith. … ” She did not finish the thought, but they both could see the very negative implications of such a decision.

“As a Christian,” Drew now said, “I believe the issue your mother just mentioned may be the most important at the moment. If the Lord has put this desire in Mindy’s heart, fulfilling your little ‘test agreement’ with Him”—he turned to Jonathan—“a higher court has jurisdiction in this case.” He leaned back in his chair with a faint smile.

Virginia’s smile in return was a bit shaky, but she could feel a measure of peace—a
rightness
—stealing over her spirit as the four joined hands around the table to pray again for God’s clear direction—to them and, yes, to Mindy—and that Jenny would turn to Him.

CHAPTER 16

J
onathan arranged with their lawyer to contact Jenny’s lawyer and tell him of the change of plans. They asked when it would be convenient for them to arrive with Mindy. His answer came back, terse and official. They were informed simply that “Miss Woods”—Jenny had taken back her maiden name—would receive “her daughter” on Saturday next, delivered to his office. Apparently Jenny still did not want them to have her home address.

There was no turning back now. Virginia had to face the wrenching truth that they would soon be losing their oldest child—for how long, she couldn’t even let herself consider. If only she could hold on to the faith she had during that time of prayer with her parents.

Unable to sleep, she was sure she must be disturbing Jona? than, and she rose from their bed. Pulling her flannel wrap closely about her shoulders, she crossed the hall to the children’s room.

Mindy was sleeping soundly, her childish face angelic in the light of the winter moon that streamed light through the lace of the window curtain. Feeling emotion tighten her throat, Virginia hastened from the room before her sobs would disturb the sleeping children.

She went down to the living room and huddled on the hearth. Floods of bitterness and anger swept over her.
Why, God? Why?
she cried silently.
Why did you let her come to us if you knew we wouldn’t be able to keep her? It isn’t fair. We love her like she is our own—and now you are letting her be taken from us. It isn’t fair. What has Jenny ever done to deserve her back? She gave her away. She has not even kept in touch. What does she care for the child? She is just being vindictive. Mean and selfish. She only wants Mindy because it will hurt us. She wants us to pay for her pain
.

Virginia spent long minutes crying out her distress. For all her discussions with Jonathan and her words of agreement with the decision, she felt God had deserted them in this hour of crisis.

Spent and cold from the chill of the room, at last she slowly pulled herself to her feet and stirred up the fire. She threw on another log and watched the blaze catch.
Why? Why?
echoed continuously in her mind.

Suddenly a voice within seemed to say,
Why? Think about it
. Virginia shook her head to clear it of the strange impression. But it persisted.

Mindy came as a frightened, suffering child
, the gentle voice continued.
Had she not come to your home, where would she be now? What if Jenny had not given her to you and Jonathan? Would there have been much chance that she would develop into a whole, lovely, and competent human being who loves me?

Virginia sank back onto the rug before the hearth, her mind and body still as she listened.

Should perhaps Mindy never have been born?
the voice seemed to ask.

That idea was unthinkable. Mindy was a special person with so much to offer. She had already brought incredible joy to their home with her unselfish ways, her nurturing attitude toward the younger children. Her fervent prayers often put the faith of adults to shame. A world without Mindy would be a poorer world for them all.

Then maybe she should have gone to some other home
.

No!
Virginia could not bear to think of that. They had been blessed by Mindy. She fit perfectly into their home—into their hearts.
So Mindy needed us—we needed her
, Virginia’s inner discussion continued. Yes, that was absolutely true.

So why are you agitating?
came the still, small voice once again.

Because I don’t want to give her up
, replied Virginia honestly in a fresh burst of tears.
I don’t want to see her go off all alone. I love her. I want to care for her as I’ve always done
.

And I love her. She will not be alone
.

It was then that the ultimate truth captured Virginia’s heart. Mindy would not be alone. Not ever. No matter how far she went from them—she would never be alone.

Trust me
, continued the silent voice.

“Trust,”
echoed Virginia’s heart.
That is what I need to do. That is what I haven’t been doing, Lord. I haven’t been trusting you
.

A fresh stream of tears poured down Virginia’s cheeks. What had been happening to her over the past weeks and months? Why hadn’t she seen it before? She had been failing to trust God. God had not changed. Only their circumstances.

God, you are right—and I have been so wrong
, admitted virginia.
Help me to realize I cannot hang on to Mindy—or to any of our children. Mindy is your child—not mine. Help me to give her completely to you. Help me to let her go. To trust
.

The fresh tears were not ones of bitterness but tears of repentance—of acceptance. As they poured down her face, a sweet sense of peace came over her. She knew without question that there would be many days of loneliness ahead. That she would miss Mindy with an ache that would not go away. But she would also be able to thank God for the gift of the wonderful years they’d had together. The many memories that they had built. She would know with certainty that Mindy was not alone. That God walked with her—wherever she was. That God would continue to lead her and direct her ways just as He had promised. Virginia’s heart reached out and received His gift of assurance—whether or not He saw fit to bring her back to their home. God’s hand had brought her to them in the first place. That same hand was leading her back to Jenny right now, and Mindy’s future was in the care and keeping of their trustworthy Father, who loved them all.

After a tearful good-bye to the three younger children and her grandparents, Mindy climbed the steep steps of the train and settled herself on the worn wine cushions, Virginia and Jonathan on either side.

“I might never come back here again,” she said, her voice trembling as she looked out the window.

Virginia felt like crying along with her, but she said instead, “But you might. Maybe sooner than we think. Your mama Jenny might bring you.”

Mindy shook her head. “I don’t think she will.”

Virginia placed an arm around Mindy’s shoulders and drew her close. “If you don’t come back here, we’ll come see you sometime.”

“Will you bring my sisters and brother?” Her voice trembled again.

“Yes. You can be sure we’ll bring the little ones along with us.”

“Martha will miss me. She won’t like walking to school all alone. She likes to hold my hand.”

“I know, but we’ll make sure she gets there okay.” Silence.

“Olivia likes to hear stories. Martha can’t read well enough yet. Can you read to her, Mama?”

“I’ll read to her.”

Mindy broke the next silence with a soft chuckle. “James is so funny. He tries to do everything we do. He even tries to wrap up the baby dolls like we do. He thinks he’s a girl.”

“He’ll find out soon enough that he’s a boy,” Jonathan assured her. “His papa will see to that. Do you think he’s about old enough to go fishing?”

“I would like to go fishing,” Mindy announced.

The two adults looked at each other in surprise over her head, then Jonathan nodded. “We’ll do that,” he said.

Mindy was silent again, but her thoughts obviously were not. “Buttercup will miss me,” she said very softly.

“We’ll take good care of Buttercup.”

“She needs exercise.”

“She’ll get lots of exercise. Slate and I will make sure of that.”

After another silence, Virginia assumed that Mindy was still deep in thought until Jonathan spoke. “I think she’s worn out. She’s sound asleep.”

Virginia eased the child into a more comfortable position. She and Jonathan exchanged glances, both sets of eyes shining with unshed tears.

Virginia’s fingers toyed with the soft curls that wisped about the child’s cheek. It was a joy to hold her. Just hold her. Silently and lovingly. Just to let the love she felt flow through to the child in her arms, without the bitterness. Without the turmoil. To thank God for the sweetness He had brought into their lives when He placed Mindy in their care. They had been blessed. So very blessed.

The three stayed overnight in one of the nicer hotels in the city. Virginia wondered if it was an extravagance they could afford, but Jonathan had made the point that their last night with Mindy should be special. They even had their evening meal in the lovely dining room. Mindy looked awestruck as she gazed about her at the white linen and shining silver.

“Ooh,” she said at one point. “Did you know they had things like this, Mama?”

Virginia smiled. Perhaps Jonathan had been right.

After dinner they walked the frosty, well-lit streets, peering in shop windows and pretending they were shoppers with unlimited resources. It was a game that Mindy loved. “Look at that,” she’d squeal. “Martha would love it. I’d get that for Martha. And that. She’d like that, too. And look at the doll. The one with its eyes closed. Olivia would like that. And that wagon. For James. Is he big enough yet to pull that, Papa?” At last, shivering but cheerful, they headed back to the hotel. Mindy had a nice hot bath in a big glistening tub and then climbed in between the stiff, white sheets.

“This has been a fun day, Mama,” she whispered just before she dropped off to sleep. “I will never forget it.”

Nor will I
, echoed in Virginia’s heart.

They said prayers together and kissed her good-night. She was sleeping almost as soon as Virginia had tucked the covers up under her chin.

It was too early to retire. Virginia felt restless in spite of her weariness. She had brought a book to read, but she had no interest in the story. It was proving very difficult to quiet her thoughts and relax enough to rest. She idly thought that she should have brought some hand work. Socks to darn or torn pinafores to mend. She wandered over to the window, drew aside the curtain, and looked out on the wintry night. The streets were almost empty. A few cars moved about, but the sidewalks were nearly void of people.

“Isn’t this the city where you stayed with that preacher?” Jonathan asked quietly.

Virginia turned back reflectively. “Yes. Yes, the Blacks. I had quite forgotten,” she answered, keeping her voice also low so Mindy would not be disturbed.

“Perhaps we should give them a ring—see if they are still around.”

“I doubt he would remember me. It was such a long time ago.”

“You say he. Wasn’t there a family?”

“Just the minister and his mother. But the mother married and moved away.”

“The minister wasn’t married?”

“Not at the time. I’m sure he would be by now. Likely with a family the size of ours—or more.”

“I wonder if he’s still here.”

“It would be interesting to know. Maybe in the morning we should try to look him up.”

“We are to be at the law office by ten.”

Virginia only nodded. She knew that. It still made her heart constrict—but she no longer fought against it.

“I wonder if Jenny will be there?” she mused.

“She’d better be,” responded Jonathan, an edge in his tone. “I refuse to give Mindy to anyone else.”

Oh, please God—no trouble
, pleaded Virginia silently.
It’s going to be painful enough without any difficulties. …

She turned back to the window. It had begun to snow. Light, silvery-fine flakes that sifted down from the sky.

“It’s snowing,” she murmured.

“I’m glad we didn’t try to motor.”

She nodded. It would have been foolish to try the drive in the winter.

“Are you going to be able to sleep?”

She shook her head doubtfully.

“I don’t think I will, either. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll go down and see if I can find a city newspaper.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Would you like anything?”

Yes
, thought Virginia,
I would. I would like to turn right around and go home with our little girl
. Aloud she said, “No … thank you.”

Jonathan quietly left and Virginia continued to watch the snow fall. It seemed symbolic somehow. Like a new world. A fresh start. Not a better world. Or a more desirable start. Just … newness. A strange unbroken path that they must now traverse—making exposed steps that would leave their mark for all to see. Would the steps be sure—confident? Or would they stumble some? Perhaps. Perhaps there would be a bit of faltering … but with God’s help they would not fall.