Lily White Lies (19 page)

“Meg, how are you feeling?  Are you okay?  How about we get you dancing awhile, maybe work off some of that liquor.  Sound good?”  She turned her back toward me and I heard her whisper, ‘No more, Kevin’.

Ignoring what I heard, I shrugged and she wasted no time leading me to the crowd of dancers who had been enjoying the band for the better part of the night.  When we reached the pavement, she turned me around and I found myself facing Popeye and his outstretched hand.  My shoulders slumped as I let out a sigh of defeat.  I had resigned to the fact that no matter how flustered I was around him and no matter how much I didn’t want him to know what he was doing to me, I would have to dance with him.  With any luck, when we were through, he would walk away and leave me to regret everything I said—or didn’t say.

As I placed my hand in his, he sweetly said, “I promise not to step on your feet, Meg,” as he pulled me closer with his free hand.

I forced a smile and silently sang along with the band to a beautiful rendition of ‘High Enough’.  Without invitation, my thoughts crept into the lyrics of the song.  I couldn’t help but notice how good he smelled or how nicely my head fit into the contour of his chest.  I thought I felt his grip tighten, but I wouldn’t have sworn to it.  My head was spinning so it was difficult to figure out which one of us was breathing hard, but I was certain it wasn’t me.  I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of letting him know he had any effect on me. 

I couldn’t remember this song ever being so long, but tonight, it seemed to go on endlessly as Popeye slowly circled me around the paved dance floor.

I felt his hand make one, slow pass up and down my back, when I accidentally thought aloud, “You’re a good dancer.”

At some point, my silent singing became vocal humming.  Closing my eyes, I inhaled one deep breath of his scent and prayed for another verse to the song.

Fifteen

...The line between good girls and bad girls was very fine, but very well defined.  It was a line I was always careful not to cross but I had never in my life wished for anything as hard as I wished that I could be the girl in the mirror...

I couldn’t pinpoint the moment the music and laughter became rumbles of thunder and pounding rain, but to give it any thought hurt everything except my hair.  A sudden flash of light burst through the window followed by an ear-piercing crack that ricocheted throughout my throbbing head.  The simple act of opening my eyes required effort and if I knew nothing else, I knew I would surely vomit if I were to sit upright too fast.

I was unable to focus on anything but I did glimpse enough to know I wasn’t anywhere I’d ever been before.  From the knotty pine walls to the garden box windows and beamed ceiling, as I was seeing this room for the first time, there was also something unexplainably familiar about my surroundings.

Shallow breaths filled the gaps between throbbing and wincing.  I rolled slowly to the side of the bed, braving an attempt to swing my legs over the edge.  As much as I would have liked to pull the quilt up over my head until sobriety returned to my body, the urge to use the bathroom would not allow such a luxury.

A stifled, ‘shit’ slipped from between my gritted teeth as I tried to balance myself in a standing position.  With one hand on my forehead and the other grasping the mattress for support, I scanned the room for a door.

I suddenly realized that the one familiarity about the room was its three, large vases of fresh flowers.  Cory had a penchant for fresh flowers—and candles—in every room, no matter the cost or the time of year.  I had been to Cory’s house enough times to know that this wasn’t it, but I was certain I was at one of several homes owned by her family.  I had absolutely no recollection of arriving here and my pounding head told me that I had drank too much the previous night to recall much of anything.

Once I had finished in the bathroom, I decided to find Cory with the hopes of her filling me in on the parts of last night that now escaped me.  The aroma of fresh coffee invited me downstairs.  I paused briefly at the top of the stairs, bracing myself for the descent.  I winced once and then began to make my way down slowly.

There was a fire in the fireplace and twice as many flower arrangements in the living room as there had been in the bedroom.  The rumble of thunder outside was so loud I reflexively grabbed the back of the couch as if it would steady my wobbly legs. 

I called out, “Cory,” and waited for her reply.  Several minutes went by and I called out again.  “Cory, where are you?”

“My guess would be Upper Darby.”

Instantly sobered by the deep, male voice, I whirled around to find myself staring straight into the chest of my dance partner from last night.

“You... it’s you...”

While I stammered out meaningless syllables that only resembled speech, he reached around me, causing my words to back up in my throat.

He picked up a quilt from the back of the couch and placed it around my shoulders.  It was at that moment when I realized that in a sleeveless, cotton nightgown; I wasn’t as dressed as I should be in his company.

Without thanking him, I mumbled, “Cory isn’t here?”

“That would be correct.”

I let him lead me without protest through the house to a chair at the kitchen table.

“How did I... you...
we
get here?”

He picked up two mugs of coffee and turned to face me.  “That would be courtesy of your friends and a very nice limo.”

I took a deep breath and pulled the quilt tightly around my shoulders.  Confusion, embarrassment and even anger danced in my head and if it weren’t for my hung-over state drowning out my coherent thoughts, I think I would have broke into tears right in front of the man I barely knew.

Realizing the implications of my situation, I knew my face reddened when I meekly asked, “Did anything...  I mean, you know, did we...”

He hesitated long enough to heighten my discomfort, and then answered, “If nothing else, I’m a gentleman.”  Pausing briefly, he playfully added, “Besides, when we do, I’d like you to remember it and you were in no condition to remember anything last night.”

“When we do?”  I used the table to support my weight as I stood.  “Just wait one-minute, Popeye.  I don’t know how you managed to talk my friends into this arrangement but I’ll be damned if you’ll talk me into anything that easily.”

Having made it to the doorway, I turned and made my way back to the table in order to continue my verbal assault.

“
When
we
do?
  I can’t believe you.  Talk about arrogance... you think you can get me to sleep with you just because you’re good-looking and...  and...  good-looking.  Maybe I like what lies a little deeper when it comes to men and...”

Without saying a word, he stood and placed his hands on my shoulders, guiding me back to my seated position.

“Are you through?”

My ranting had deepened the throbbing in my head and I offered no more than a shrug.

“First of all, ‘when we do’ was an attempt at humor... obviously a poor attempt and for that I apologize.  Secondly, as far as talking your friends into this setup...  there was no talking about it.  I was duped, the same as you.”

I tried to reason his words without much luck.  I think he took pity on my dazed state and offered an explanation.

“I believe we were set up by your friends, Cupid and company.”  My head was still processing a little slow.  My quizzical expression prodded him to continue.  “Cory hired me for your party.  I was told that you would be coming here for a weekend getaway after the party and since I was on-duty and unable drink, as an added service she asked me to come along to carry you into the house.”

“And you just... what?  Decided you’d stick around once she left, or did you sneak back later?”

Leaning back in his chair and clasping his hands behind his head, he said, “Not exactly.  I carried you in while your friends carried your things.  When we returned to the car, Charlotte said she had forgotten your purse and asked if I’d run it in.  That’s when they ditched me.”

In a state of disbelief, I stared at a gouge in the wooden table while he continued to sit in his relaxed position.

“How can you be so calm?  Did they say anything about when they’d be back?”  Thinking aloud, I answered my own question.  “I guess not.  How could they do this?  They don’t know you, what if you were some sort of psycho or rapist or something.  They’ve really gone too far this time.”

“Let me put your mind at ease.  I’m as sane as you are and I’ve never found force necessary to have sex, so you’re safe.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Running a hand through his golden hair, he said, “I know what you meant.”

I heard him speaking, but it was his yellow knit shirt and the way it stretched tightly over his bicep that had my attention.

“Listen, I didn’t plan this.  I wasn’t in on it either, so there’s no need to take it out on me.”  He paused.  “I can be so calm because getting worked up won’t change our situation or get us out of here any sooner, so...”

“I know.  Why get upset.”  My voice offered no real enthusiasm.

He sat silently for a moment before smiling and taking our conversation in a new and unexpected direction.  “So, you think I’m good-looking.”

Finding it easier to ignore his last remark, I rolled my eyes and made my way to the door.  Suddenly, a troubled thought occurred to me and I hesitantly turned to ask, “Who undressed me last...”  Pulling the quilt tighter, I shivered and shook my head.  “You know what... never mind.  What I don’t know won’t embarrass me.”

Prepared for a witty reply intended to heighten my embarrassment, instead, he left me speechless with an evocative wink.  It was a gesture filled with a thousand unspoken words, reaching out and grabbing hold of me.  I awkwardly backed my way out of the kitchen and headed to the stairs.  Each time I involuntarily turned back, he was staring at me, which only served to make my exit less than graceful. 

After what seemed like dozens of flights of stairs, I found myself sitting on the edge of the same bed I awoke in earlier and realized that somehow, he had made his way into the room with me.  I saw his face in every flash of lightening, I heard his voice in the rolls of thunder and the residual effects of his wink were still dancing up my spine. 

I scolded aloud, “Pull yourself together, girl.” 

I wasn’t ready for a new relationship.  My heart needed time to heal before I could offer it to someone new.  Had this been another time and another place, I would have reveled in his attention.  However, it was here and it was now.  It was him and it was me, and I couldn’t knowingly yield to something between us when I knew I had nothing to give.  It wouldn’t be fair to him, but conscience aside... I couldn’t deny—it would be
so
easy.

I should have been irate.  I should have been so mad at Cory and Charlotte that even heartfelt apologies and ten years of friendship wouldn’t be enough to smooth the edges of my anger.  But I wasn’t.  I knew them; I knew where their hearts were and how sincere their intentions were.  Although their scheme was audacious, presumptuous and more extreme than anything they had ever come up with in the past, they did it for the right reasons and for that reason I knew I’d forgive them. 

The rain brought a dampness with it that spread goose bumps over my skin as I undressed for a bath.  Lowering myself into the steaming water, I closed my eyes and let my hair hang over the side of the tub.  I thought I could soak away the frustrations I was feeling.  I hoped that if I spent enough time hidden away in the bathroom, he would grow tired of this situation and leave.

I managed to put on a wounded front and play the part of the victim in this little game of Cory’s, but I knew it was only an act to hide my true feelings.  His billboard good looks and well-mannered charm aroused me while his outward calm beguiled me.  He was the spark of every woman’s fantasy.  He was the kind of man that women dreamed about night after night.  He was also the kind of man who could take a woman from heaven to hell in the course of one weekend, leaving her dazed and begging for another trip.  As I sank even lower in the water, I thought, ‘but what a weekend it would be’.

“Meg?  Are you almost through?”

His husky voice penetrated my thoughts and my body jerked upright, causing a deep wave through the water that splashed over the edge of the tub and onto the tile floor.

“Are you okay in there?”

With my hands clutching the edge of the tub, I didn’t know whether to make a dash for the towel hanging on the back of the door or submerge myself deeper in the water and pretend that I didn’t hear him.

“If you don’t answer me, I’ll be forced to believe that you’re drowning and it’ll be my moral obligation to rush in and administer CPR.”

After one skipped heartbeat, I managed to stammer out, “Don’t you dare!”

I heard a muffled laugh before he said, “Okay then.  I was just going to fix something for lunch, are you hungry?”