Little Squirrels Can Climb Tall Trees (14 page)

“What! You’ve never flown on an airplane?”

“Never. I’ve never been anywhere that you can’t drive. And even then I’ve only ever gone from Oklahoma to Boston and then to here.”

“Holy fuck! This is
huge
! This is
fucking huge
!”

“I know it’s bad. How bad? Are you really disappointed in me?” Kyle asked uncertainly.

“No! This is huge
good
! Oh, yeah, we’re going to Florida. We’re gonna go romp naked on the beach—well, maybe not on your first trip—and have a fucking
fantastic
time. Key West is awesome.”

“Hey, I thought I was awesome.”

“An
awesome
place for an awesome man!”

“And I have to fly to get there?”

“Yes, you do. You can drive from here to Key West, but it would take something like thirty-six hours, and it is a really, really dull drive. The flight is something like three hours—probably less. And then, after that. Where do you want to go? Is there some place you’ve always dreamed of going? Someplace that is sort of your idea of paradise, of Nirvana, of Eden?”

“Promise not to laugh at me?” he asked, very hesitantly.

“Probably.”

“Probably?” he said, playfully swatting my arm. “Now
that’s
love.
Probably?
”

“Okay. I promise. Where?”

“Hawaii.”

“Why would I laugh about that? Hawaii is a great place. I’ve been six times and loved every one of those trips. Why don’t we go when you get a week off in December? I’ll book it.”

“You’ve been to Hawaii? Six times? Wait! My mama always said I was too big to fly. That my long legs wouldn’t fit in an airplane seat.”

“You could fit, not comfortably in a coach seat, but that’s why I’m booking a seat up front in first class so you’ve got enough room for your legs.”

“They have different classes on airplanes?”

“Yes. Trust me. I’ll take care of everything.”

“Ummm. I hate to be a spoilsport, but I’ve got one other problem: I don’t have any money. Everything I earn goes to pay student loans.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll cover this.”

“You shouldn’t have to do that!”

“I don’t
have
to do anything. I’m doing it because I
want
to. Call it long-term strategic planning. Someday you’re going to be a fabulously wealthy Manhattan doctor who earns boatloads of money. That day you’ll be flying
me
first class off to Italy for the weekend or somewhere else exotic, and I’ll work hard to help you spend all that money.”

Kyle laughed with delight. “I like your thinking. Yes, I’ll fly you anywhere you want to go—once I escape this crushing debt and have a boatload of money.”

“Deal. So go ahead and request those four weeks off in November and December, and I’ll explore some options for flights and hotels and so on and go over them with you before I book them. Okay?”

“Yeah! I guess I’m finally gonna get to go on an airplane like regular people,” he said, almost like he couldn’t believe what he was saying.

“You’re not regular people, dude—you’re
awesome
!”

“I am, aren’t I? But the only reason I’m awesome is because of you, babe. You made me awesome.”

“You bet your sweet, awesome ass you are! And I didn’t make you awesome—you already were awesome. All I did was help you to see that you were awesome. And I’m clearly not done yet. And I’m gonna show you the
world
, babe! This is just the beginning. We’re going to Europe. We’ll have tea in London and shop at Harrods before going to the theater. We’ll go to the Louvre in Paris. We’ll go see the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam. We’ll watch the bullfights in Madrid.

“And Italy! Oh, Italy! There’s so much I want to show you in Italy. Rome, Naples, Milano, Pisa, Venice—oh, Venezia! We’ll rent a farmhouse in Tuscany and do daytrips to Sienna and a bunch of old hill towns that dot the countryside. We’ll go to tiny little family wineries throughout the hills of Tuscany, and you’ll taste some kickass wines.

“We’ll visit Athens. We’ll spend time in Istanbul, Turkey, where we’ll have breakfast in Europe and lunch in Asia. Where the New World meets the Old World. We’ll sail the Greek isles—Santorini, Samos, Mykonos….

“We’ll visit the pyramids of Egypt. We’ll ride camels and go see the Sphinx. We’ll visit Alexandria, Luxor, take a boat down the Nile. We’ll go to Petra in Jordan. We’ll go to the artificial islands in Dubai. We’ll go see the Taj Mahal in India. And we’ve
got
to go to Asia. You’re gonna
love
Asia! We’ll start in Thailand. I love Thailand. We’ll go to Bangkok. The city is freaking crazy, but you’ve got to see it. We’ll fly up to Chiang Mai in the north, where we’ll ride elephants in the mountains. We’ll fly south to the peninsula and lie on one of the many gorgeous beaches that cover the area.

“We’ve got to go to Hong Kong and Macau. We’ve got to visit mainland China. We’ll walk the Great Wall and see the Terra-cotta Warriors. We’ll visit Taipei in Taiwan. And Australia and New Zealand. There is so much to see in Australia—the place is so unbelievably huge. I want to take you to the big rock in the center of the country—you won’t believe it. And New Zealand is equally big in other ways. Both so different and so amazing to visit.

“And then we still have all of South America and Central America. We’ll cruise through the Caribbean, we’ll sail through the Panama Canal, we’ll hike in little out-of-the-way Central American villages where the jungle seems to go on forever.

“You’re gonna love ’em all, babe, and I’m gonna get to show them all to you. I’m gonna give you the world, babe. You’re my awesome guy!”

Kyle was speechless. He threw his arms around me and simply hugged me tight, which was good, because I’d been talking so fast I needed to breathe. Kyle kissed the top of my head and said, “I love you, Squirrel.”

“I love you too, big guy!”

“Every day I thank God that you came into my life. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, that could ever have happened to me. You are a gift from the heavens above.”

“Wow! You keep that up and I’m gonna cry! And I don’t look very butch and macho when I’m bawling my eyes out,” I warned him.

“Well, we can’t have that,” Kyle said. “I guess I’ll have to tickle you.”

“Don’t you even think about it!” I threatened, pulling away.

“I’ll try to hold off, then,” he said with a devious little smile.

That evening I did some research online and called a couple of friends who had been to Key West more recently than I had to get some recommendations. In a relatively short time, I returned to Kyle with a fairly detailed itinerary, including flights, two possible hotels, and a list of activities for our time there.

The next evening I added to that by presenting an even more elaborate set of options for Hawaii, including multiple flight options, numerous hotel options, even numerous islands! Kyle actually hadn’t realized that Hawaii was more than one place, more than one island. When I explained to him that Hawaii was actually
many
islands in a chain, the place just became that much more magical and enticing for him.

Since he didn’t really have the knowledge base to make decisions on the Hawaii trip, he asked me what I would pick. I mapped out a complete itinerary that would take us to four islands over ten days with hotel options on each.

“Who could say no to that?”

“So it’s good?”

“It’s good. I’m really going to Hawaii!”

“Yes, dude, you’re really going to Hawaii—and I’m gonna take you there.”

With Kyle’s approval of the outline, I jumped back on my laptop and started to make reservations and buy tickets. Kyle watched me as I feverishly typed and clicked and entered my credit card information time and time again. I caught him looking at me a couple of times, but I was making great progress, so I didn’t want to stop until I had everything nailed down. Kyle probably thought it was going well since I was smiling periodically, but he didn’t dare interrupt to ask.

“Okay!” I shouted with great gusto. “
We’re going to Hawaii!
” I reviewed with Kyle the dates, flights, and times as well as the hotels I had booked on each island. I had downloaded maps for each island and showed him those maps, pointing out where we would be staying as well as some of the sites I wanted to show him on each island. By the end of the review, Kyle was nearly as excited as I was.

“I can’t wait!” Kyle said, and I could tell that he meant what he said.

I
T
WAS
a little later that evening when Kyle’s cell phone rang. I was reading on the couch, and Kyle grabbed the call on the first ring, so I didn’t pay much attention to the call. The phone rang occasionally, but almost always it was something for work. I tuned in to the call when I noticed Kyle’s voice take on a certain edge. I heard him say, “I can’t talk now. I’ll see you tomorrow like we planned. Okay?” And as quickly as it started, the call was finished.

A bit suspicious (okay, a lot suspicious), I asked, “What was that?”

“Just a meeting I’ve got to go to tomorrow.”

“It’s a little unusual for someone to be calling at ten at night to talk about work, don’t you think?”

“Not really.”

“No? Do you call a lot of people at ten at night to talk about work meetings?”

Kyle couldn’t meet my eye. All the signals were there—something was up.

“Kyle! What is going on?”

“It’s not a work meeting. It’s my mother. She’s here in New York and wants to talk to me.”

“Your mother is in New York.” Statement. Not question. “Interesting. Spur of the moment trip?”

“No. Her bus got in earlier tonight.”

“Bus?”

“She took the Greyhound.”

“And you didn’t tell me about this because…?”

“I didn’t want to bother you with my crazy mother. She’s not like your mother. She wouldn’t welcome you with open arms sight unseen. She’d break out her Bible and start trying to cast out demons or some such thing. There is no way in this world that I am ever subjecting you to my mother!”

“Okay,” I said, understanding. “But what if I want to be there to support you?”

“You can’t,” he said emphatically. “It just wouldn’t work.”

“So, how long is she in town?”

“She came as part of a church women’s group. They’re here for four nights to see all the sights.”

“Including you.”

“Of course! Have you seen me? I’m quite a sight! One of the towering monuments of NYC.”

By this point I was off the couch and was standing behind him at the table. I simply leaned over, kissed him, looked him in the eye, took his hand, and said, “I’m sorry, babe. I think I understand. Even though I can’t be there with you, know that I’m hugging you and holding my arms around you and sending you all kinds of love and support to deal with her.”

Unexpectedly, Kyle grabbed me and broke into tears.

To say I was surprised would be an understatement. “It’s okay, babe. It’s okay,” I said, trying desperately to offer some comfort.

“No, it’s not. She’s never gonna change. She’s never gonna know who I am. She’s never gonna….”

“No, she probably will not. And it is
her
loss because you are an
awesome
man!”

“I know
that
!” he said with a smile as he brushed the tears away from his eyes.

“When do you meet up with her tomorrow?”

“Seven at the hospital. She said she wants to see where I work. She doesn’t really. She just wants to get me back to Oklahoma.”

“So you can marry a good girl and settle down to make little ones.”

“Yup. That about sums it up.”

“How are you going to handle her?”

Kyle sighed and seemed to be bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I don’t have the slightest clue.”

“Is she going to be with you all day tomorrow?”

“No. We’re meeting early because her women’s group has a full day of sightseeing planned. They’re going to do all the big stuff—go to Ground Zero, go to the Statue of Liberty….”

“Ride the subway?”

“Are you out of your freaking mind
?
She wouldn’t go
near
the subway if you paid her a million dollars!”

“What’s wrong with the subway? No, on second thought, don’t tell me.” It was getting late, and we both had to be up early the next morning, so we called it a night.

The next morning I hugged Kyle extra-long and reminded him that I was 100 percent behind him. Before I let him go, I made him promise me two things: that he would remember that he is an awesome man, and that I expected him to tell me every single word of what happened that day. He agreed on both points.

Later, when we had time to debrief, Kyle described his day and his encounter with his mother for me. I questioned him on so many things and made him give me so much detail, I felt that I knew the story as well as I would have if I’d been in the room with them.

Kyle was at the hospital early so he could get settled in and remind his colleagues that his mother was visiting that morning and he would need to play tour guide for an hour or so. All of the nurses on duty thought it was absolutely adorable that Kyle’s mother was coming to visit—they secretly couldn’t wait to check out the woman who had given the world Dr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome.