Live In Position (13 page)

"It's so pretty." Victoria's voice was very low, almost a whisper.

"It is, isn't it?" I smiled at her.

"Put it on." She smiled with excitement.

"Okay." I put it on.

"It looks beautiful on you."

I heard a noise come from Dr. Bishop and turned to look at him briefly, before turning back to Victoria. Was that a snort? What an ass.

"Thank you; let's get back to the gingerbread house." We walked back to the counter top that we had been working on.

"It's very pretty." Dr. Bishop's tone had been a little sharp and frankly I was pretty surprised he had spoken at all. Was he making fun now? Hadn't he just snorted at Victoria's compliment?

"Um...thanks." I furrowed my brow before I turned back to Victoria and we continued to work on the gingerbread house. Dr. Bishop finally left the room and the tension dissipated.

Christmas morning arrived and I figured I would be woken up by Victoria bouncing on my bed and screaming it was time for presents, but that wasn't the case. I woke up on my own and headed to her room. She was sitting in her chair reading.

"Hey, don't you want to see what Santa brought?" I cocked my head at her with a small smile.

She looked up at me confused.

"We don't open gifts until all of the family has arrived."

"What?" I crinkled up my nose. She shrugged. "Come here."

I put my hand out and as she took it I could feel the tension. He was close and I had to fight with myself not to turn and look for him. I pulled Victoria to my room and pointed to a pile of small gifts I had gotten for her.

"For Me?" she exclaimed.

"No, there for the dust bunnies under your bed," I laughed at her. She giggled and ran to the gifts.

I sat down next to her on the floor, instantly feeling the buzz of his arrival and cursing myself for not closing the door to my room.

"Victoria, presents aren't opened till later." His cold voice rang through my room like crackling ice.

I turned on him with a scowl. "I told her she could open them. They're from me."

His eyes narrowed on me. "Miss Ashwood, can I please talk with you?"

"Go ahead and open them." I rubbed Victoria's back as I got up and followed Dr. Bishop into the hallway. I pulled the door closed behind me and waited for my verbal assault.

"We have traditions in this house –"

"You have traditions as do I." I countered.

"She has rules to follow and you are breaking them," He quirked his eye brow at me.

"Those are your rules for gifts, not mine. My tradition is to open them first thing when you wake up, so she is doing that with me and my gifts. What she does with yours is your choice." I reached for the door knob, but he put his hand there first. I looked back at him.

"You need to be careful how you speak to me."

He leaned in close to me and there was a small intake of breath when he realized how close he was. The swirling limes began to work their magic and heat permeated between our bodies. With a quick nod I broke the spell and reentered my room.

After getting Victoria and I ready for the afternoon, we headed down the stairs. The Bishops had already started arriving with their children and nannies. Max and Larissa were sitting in the oversized living room with drinks, laughing at something Jonathan was telling them. Allison stood behind Jonathan with her hands on his shoulders. Victoria ran in the direction of the laughing children. I turned away from the living room to follow Victoria; however, I smacked right into a chest.

"I'm so sorry." I backed away quickly.

"No problem my dear, are you okay?" I looked into the kind eyes of Connor Bishop.

I nodded.

"Yes, thank you."

"Dear God Connor can you please not flirt with the nanny." Mrs. Bishop snapped as she tossed her coat at me and headed into the living room.

"Allison…" She crooned.

"Mother…" Allison crooned back.

"Allow me." Connor gave an apologetic smile as he took her coat and went to hang it up.

I practically ran for the kids.

Once I was through the door of the large sitting room, recently converted into a playroom, I spotted Amber and William.

"Hey Sophia," Amber smiled at me as I approached. William was on the floor wrestling with the boys. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Hey." I sighed out. "Is it always like this?"

She nodded. "Yep and it will only get stuffier as the night goes on." She giggled. I laughed.

Amber was completely right. More family arrived and then friends showed up, and really the only time the kids were 'acceptable' in the living room was when they opened gifts. It was ridiculous. Christmas was about kids. I mean, I get that in the evening you could make it more adult, but please people acknowledge your children. Damn.

Dinner was set in the large dining room and a children's table had been established in the kitchen. William, Amber, Ella, and I all ate in the kitchen with the kids. I had finally had enough of the kids being pushed away, so I decided we were all going to play some games. I went and got Twister as a starter game for us all.

William and I were wrapped up in each other, battling for Twister Champion while the kids and the other nannies laughed their butts off at us.

"You are going down Ashwood." William taunted.

"No way Mr. Manny," I chuckled out.

"Right foot blue" Amber shouted from the chair she was sitting in with M.J. in her lap.

I moved as William moved. He couldn't reach but pushed it and ended up falling on me. We both collapsed in laughter on the Twister mat.

"I win," William shouted.

"No way! You fell on me. I had perfect footing until you pushed yourself. I win!" He was still crushing me so I smacked his arm and he laughed.

"Sophia wins!" Victoria shouted.

"Ha, See!" I shoved him and he rolled onto his back laughing.

"She is biased. Her opinion doesn't count." He shoved my arm as we both lay on our backs.

"Ahem!" I rolled to my side and saw Dr. Bishop standing in the door with a couple. "Mr. and Mrs. Ault are leaving and need their son Robert." His cold glare at me almost made me shiver.

Mrs. Ault stepped forward and called for her son. He ran over and they left together. I swallowed hard as Dr. Bishop still had his eyes narrowed in on me. Finally he pulled his eyes from me and walked away.

"Holy shit," William whispered at me. "What's up with him?"

"What are you talking about?" I snorted. "He is always like that."

"Really?" William said as he stood and put a hand out for me. I took it and stood.

I nodded, "Yep." I rolled my eyes.

"Sophia, he wasn't like that with Miranda." At Amber's words I looked at her confused.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, he never ever gave her that look. I don't get it. He's always reserved, but he just seems so…"

"Cold, frozen, the antichrist?" I laughed. They joined.

"I need to pee." I looked down into the face of one of the guests children.

I smiled down to her.

"Okay." I turned to the room. "Who needs the bathroom?" A few hands went up. "Follow me." I motioned them to come. At the door I stopped. "Line up." They did as I asked. "Now, let's march to the bathroom. March, march, left right left, march," I heard some giggles, but they all complied with my orders.

We were almost through everyone's turn in the bathroom when Victoria appeared next to me.

"Hey you," I smiled at her, "Need a turn?" She nodded. "Okay. You can go next." I sent the last kid back to the room with the others and waited for Victoria.

I was leaning against the wall when the doorbell rang. I looked up and saw Dr. Bishop go to the door, pull it open, and then freeze.

"What are you doing here?" He spat out.

"I-I…Oh Collin…" A tall woman wrapped her arms around Dr. Bishop's frozen form. He stood there with a rigid spine.

Allison appeared and halted halfway to the door.

"What is she doing here?" She screamed.

Before anything else could process, Ilene, Connor, Larissa, Max, and Jonathan were all frozen around Allison. Victoria emerged from the bathroom.

"All done," She announced.

I watched as everyone turned to look at her, especially the woman. It was then I saw who
was at the door. Grace. She was back. I looked down at Victoria as she peeked around my body and saw the woman in the doorway.

"Who’
s that?" Victoria asked, confused.

"I...uh…we should…" I stammered.

"She doesn't even remember me, Collin!" Grace turned and glared at him.

"You left us, remember?" Collin spat and slammed his fist on the door. Victoria flinch
ed and buried herself into my leg. Collin turned on Grace. "You left," he yelled. Fury and rage took over his features. "And you want to know why she doesn't remember you? She was two, Grace, when you abandoned her,
us
!" He began fisting his hair.

I turned to grab Victoria into my arms, but she was backing away with a horrified expression.

"No." She choked out and then ran up the stairs.

"Collin," Larissa hissed and then moti
oned to Victoria's running form, "Victoria."

I turned and ran after her. Her door slammed shut when I was halfway up the stairs. Turning the knob on her door, it was locked.

"Victoria, sweetheart, please open the door. Please." I knocked and begged.

"It's my fault," She sobbed out.

"Nothing is your fault. Please open the door." I heard the lock click and pushed the door open slowly.

S
he sobbed on her way to her bed and climbed on it.

Connor and Larissa barreled in behind me as I knelt down to Victoria.

"Hey…”

"It's my fault," She sobbed again. Then I felt the buzz and turned to see Dr. Bishop approach the bed. His eyes danced from me to Victoria and back. He clearly didn't know what to say.

I could hear Allison downstairs yelling at Grace about ruining Christmas and the party. Then she changed her tactic and attacked her for barging in on Victoria.

"Can someone shut the damn door?" I snapped.
The door closed, but didn't look to see who had done it.

"Victoria…"

"It's my fault," she sobbed more.

"Honey, nothing is your fault." Connor sat down on the bed next to her.

"You didn't bring her here, Victoria." Collin tried to comfort, but his tone was still edged in anger.

"It's my fault she's here!" The large tears poured over her cheeks.

"What? It can't be –"

"I asked Santa for a mommy, but I didn't mean
her
!" She cried out and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Sweetheart, Santa didn't bring your mother here and you didn't do anything." I pulled back from her and lifted her chin with my finger.

"Yes, sir, I told Santa I wanted a mommy, but I forgot to tell him that I wanted
you
. Now he sent her instead." She bawled and threw her arms back around my neck.

My eyes widened and I couldn't bring myself to look around the room to
figure out who gasped. All I could do was rub soothing circles on her back.

Chapter Eight

I rubbed circles onto Victoria's back until her sobbing died down and she slept, though she hiccupped
during slumber. Pulling her arms from around my neck was not an option. I kicked off my shoes and climbed into bed next to her. The door opened and a portion of the Allison and Grace Drama, which was still unfolding, floated in until the door clicked shut. The bed shifted and I opened my eyes when I felt a hand on my arm.

"Sophia?" Larissa whispered softly.

"Hmm?" I tried to keep a hushed tone.

"Are…are you alright?"

I nodded, though I was still a little uncomfortable with everyone after Victoria's declaration.

"Okay." She whispered and the bed shifted again as she stood. I heard her soft footsteps as she w
alked toward the door. "Let her rest." Larissa spoke to another person.

"Yes, I think you’
re right." It was Connor's voice. I felt myself sigh in relief that it was probably Collin who’d left earlier. It took me some time, but I finally drifted to sleep.

Victoria had been so exhausted she was still sleeping when I woke the next morning. After tucking her in with the rag doll Carla and my father gave her, I grabbed my shoes and tiptoed out of the room. Quietly shutting the door behind me, I turned around and saw Dr. Bishop standi
ng there. I jumped.

"I apologize." He furrowed his brow. "I need to speak with you."

"Dr. Bishop, I realize I may have become too close with Victoria; however, I never ever intentionally gave her the impression I was…that I would be…perhaps I should detach myself from her for longer periods of time. Still, I assure you I did not –"

He put his hand up.
"I’m not going to fire you."

I closed my gaping mouth quickly and bit my lip, still nervous.

"I need to know if she's okay."

I furrowed my brow again. "She's sad, but she is well. You can see for yourself –" I gestured toward the door.

"I, uh, I'll take your word for it." He tensed up. "Grace will probably request to see her and me, and I need you to let me know if Victoria is 'troubled' with that."

I nodded. "So, you’
re going to agree to let her –?"

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm not sure what's going to happen, but I just want to be prepared." He looked like he’d aged overnight.

Grace truly affected him more than anyone. After
an uncomfortable silence, he mumbled 'thank you' and walked away. I went to my room to shower and change my clothes. Once I was dried and changed I walked from my bedroom and on my couch sat Victoria.

"Hey you," I hurried toward her, no longer caring about my wet hair. "Did you sleep okay?"

She shrugged.

"Is she still here?"

"No, well, I don't think so. Would that be so terrible?" I put my arm around her.

She shrugged again.

"I don't know her, what if she doesn't like me?"

"Oh sweetheart," I pulle
d her into a tight hug. "There’s no way she won't love you." I kissed the top of her head and then realized perhaps I was encouraging her fantasy of me being her mother. Mentally I debated with myself and then thought…. ‘Screw it!' and continued rocking her in my lap.

Breakfast was normal yet quiet and we spent the day relaxing and playing board games. I figured small moments together would be better than any large 'to do'. We were playing 'Go Fish' in the kitchen when
someone entered the house.

"Collin, you can't honestly be agreeing to see her?" Allison's nagging voice caused me to stiffen.

"Allison…" He hissed in a warning tone. "She’s Victoria's mother for God's sake."

"That bitch left her and you years ago. She is selfish trash. You knew the low class whore you were getting when you picked her up at that raunchy bar. I don't know what you ever saw in that –"

"Allison." Collin's voice was raised and irritated.

"Hey…
"

Victoria's head snapped up to
look at me with wide teary eyes.

"Why don't we finish this upstairs?" I held up my cards and she nodded. "I'll get the cards, you head up."

I watched her hop up and hurry toward the back stairs of the house. I was shoving the cards in their case when I heard Allison's heels click-clack against the tile floor. My back was to her and I clenched my eyes shut tightly taking a deep breath. Then I felt him enter the room.

"Oh and perhaps you should do something about Sophia and her 'inappropriate' relationship with Victoria." She spat out.

I released my breath and walked away from the kitchen. But then heard a quick intake of breath and a small sob before she ran passed me and back into the kitchen.

"No, Aunt Allison! N
o, Daddy, no! You can't take Sophia away from me! Please, please don't listen to Aunt Allison. She's wrong!" Victoria screeched and flung herself at Collin's leg. I hurried to her and pulled her away. His eyes were wide and panicked at her display.

"Oh dear God Collin, look at her over emotional behavior. What has this…nanny…" her tone dripped with disgust, "done to
her?"

I glowered at Allison and pulled Victoria into my arms.

"Victoria, I’m not firing Sophia, and Allison, I will meet with Grace if I wish to do so." His tone was as cold and sharp as frozen glass.

Victoria relaxed into my arms.
I carried her away from the kitchen.

"You can't leave me. I love you." She mumbled into my neck where her face was buried.

"Shh…calm down. I'm not going anywhere, okay?" She nodded.

When
we got to her room I decided we needed to talk. I sat her down on her bed and then sat next to her.

"Did you bring the cards?" She wiped her cheeks.

"Yes, but I want to talk to you about something first, okay?" She nodded hesitantly, like a child about to be punished. "Hey," I pulled her chin up. "You aren't in any trouble, alright? I just want to talk, clear some things up." I took a deep breath.

"Victoria, you realize I’
m your nanny right?"

"Of course," She smiled widely.

"I’m not your mother." It almost hurt me to say those words, given how much I have grown to love her.

Her face fell.

"I know, but –"

"Sweetheart," I took
both of her hands in mine, "I’m not your mommy and will never be your mommy." I saw tears form at the corners of her eyes. "Don't cry. I love you very much and think of you as my own daughter, but you need to understand that even if it isn't your mommy who comes back now it will probably be another woman sometime. Do you understand?"

"You mean my daddy might marry someone else?" I nodded and her brow furrowed. "But…why can't he just marry you?"

I choked on my own saliva.

"Um…your daddy is my
boss. We won't get married. I’m here to help take care of you, but I won't be taking the place of a mother for you. I know it's confusing. Heck, I'm starting to confuse myself." I sighed.

"Look,
I’m not trying to be mean or say I don't love and care for you deeply, but I’m not your mommy and I won't ever be your mommy." Her tears were coming back. I lifted her chin. "I get to be the cool nanny you play with all the time." I winked at her.

She giggled and threw her arms around my neck.

"I love you, Sophia."

"I love you too Victoria." I hugged her back. "Now, we need to get back to me kicking your butt in 'Go Fish'." She
laughed and sat back on her bed. I dealt the cards.

Six days passed in winter break and New Years Eve arrived. After Ella, William, and Amber had stayed just passed midnight to ring in the New Year, they took their sleeping children back to their homes. Victoria had fallen asleep at twelve thirty, so I was cleaning up the popcorn, chips, and drink boxes which were lying around the television room.

While cleaning up the kitchen I heard the front door open and close. Giggling floated into the kitchen. I looked to the time on the stove, two thirty. Quickly I finished cleaning and made my way to the doorway, stopping short at the sight in front of me.

Dr. Bishop was pressed against the foyer wall. Grace was on her knees in front of him. They were struggling between each other.

"Grace, control yourself," he groaned in his cold tone.

"Oh come on baby, your little guy wants to play. I can feel that he does." She ran her palm over him, moaned, and my eyes widened. I shook off the shock and quickly climb
ed the steps two at a time. I’d never been happier for carpeted steps in my entire life.

"Grace, you need to stop…" I heard Dr. Bishop say before a moan left his lips. I covered my ears until I was in my room with the door closed. I hurried to my bedroom and shut that door too. I wanted so much to be able to pour acid into my eyes and ears, but had to settle for a hot shower and clean mint toothpaste.

I guessed Grace would become an ever present figure in the Bishop household. The thought started to eat away at me as I tried to identify the feelings keeping me awake. Nervous, was the first I identified, but when I came up with jealousy I couldn't understand why.

I
’d been completely correct in my assumption of Grace's return. Mid-January there was the reintroduction of Victoria to her mother and by the end of January Grace was living in the house and working on mending their relationship.

Victoria had been nervous when I was dressing her to go to dinner with her mother and father. Dr. Bishop, thankfully, had not required my presence. I wanted to be there for Victoria; however, New Years was still too fresh in my mind.

From what I could tell when they returned the dinner had gone well. Grace came back to the house with Dr. Bishop and Victoria was smiling. Though once they were through the door she almost tackled me in the kitchen. I had to grip the counter to keep us from hitting the floor. Dr. Bishop and Grace disappeared upstairs.

Grace had been making attempts to get close to Victoria again. She moved into the house, which I still couldn't tell how Victoria felt about that, and seemed to double up her efforts. I was happy she was so interested in working to get back into Victoria's life. I mean she was her mother and she made mistake. Everyone deserves a second chance, right?

Three days since their family dinner Grace informed me that Dr. Bishop was being honored by Alpha Omega Alpha Honor Medical Society. I had no clue what that was, but apparently he’d been a member since his residency and they were honoring his contributions to the medical field.

"It's in three weeks and you’
ll be required to attend, since Victoria will be accompanying us. In fact the whole family will be there." She smiled excitedly. "They may even take photos of us all." Her eyes gleamed.

"Okay, so should I prepare her attire or will –?"

"Of course,
I
will pick out her dress. I need to be sure she is fashionable." She looked me up and down. "In fact, I’ll pick something up for you as well."

"You don't have to do that." The protest left my mouth without thinking first.

"I'm sure you need something to wear and I’ll be going out today, so it's really no bother." Her tone was too sweet and I didn't like the look in her eye. But I was resigned to let her do as she wished.

Over the next two weeks, when Victoria didn't have school or lessons, Grace arranged tea parties, shopping trips, manicures and pedicures, mother daughter spa visits, etc. I was happy to see them interact and grow together, but I was also sad.
My time with Victoria was much smaller. There was also something else bothering me. Victoria. She seemed happy, but it didn't seem natural. I tried multiple times to talk to her about it, but she never said anything. I was left to shrug it off as my own longing to have her all to myself.

The week before Dr. Bishop's award dinner Grace appeared with the dresses. She handed me a
n adorable light blue dress for Victoria and then a dark gray dress she’d chosen for me. I had to force a thankful smile. The dress was hideous – clearly the idea she had when she picked it out.