Living Backwards (17 page)

“I think we can talk later,” he replied, dipping his head down and nipping at my lips again.

I was about to argue when I heard the distinct sound of giggling off in the distance. My eyes shot open to witness the blood drain from Luke’s face and a look of panic set in.

“The hell,” he growled under his breath. With my thigh still strategically perched on his hip, he began to swivel around, looking from side to side for the source of the interruption. The motion caused my head to loll back against the wall, and I thanked God for that one yoga class I took because I wanted to spend all day standing just like that.

When I managed to pry my eyes back open, I saw Anne-Marie and Jon, the juniors who gave us the peep show in detention, stumbling through the trees to our right. Her shirt was off and his hands were already clawing at her zipper. I was mentally chastising them for lacking the class to screw somewhere halfway decent before I looked around me and remembered that I was wrapped around a boy in a dirty, woodsy area behind a high school gymnasium. I was a trollop too now. Solidarity, sister.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Luke exclaimed, releasing my leg and pushing off the building. I groaned as he moved away, silently cursing the horny, pubescent assholes for interrupting.

“Oops,” Anne-Marie giggled, covering her mouth. “Honey, I think our spot is taken today.”

“Your spot!” Luke raged. “
Your
spot? How often are you bringing your girlfriend out to ‘your spot’, Jon?”

“Settle down, Chambers,” he replied casually as Anne-Marie pulled her tank top back on. “And you two were just studying back here, right?”

“I’m just saying that it would have been nice to know if I needed disinfectant every time I came back here for a smoke,” he continued, eyes ablaze. Before he could go on raging like a maniac, I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away.

“We were just leaving,” I added, smiling apologetically at them. When we rounded the corner, it was his turn to wrestle his arm free.

“It doesn’t bother you that they’ve been screwing back there the whole time? We’re there every day!”

“You’re being so dramatic, Luke,” I replied, teasing him. “School is over. Time to give up the fortress. Pass the torch, so to speak.”

“That’s not the point,” he replied, still irritable. “Not to mention,” he added, his scowl lifting into a mischievous smile, “they interrupted.”

Moving closer, he reached out, threading his fingers through my hair. “So that may have been the best talk we’ve ever had.”

“At least top ten,” I replied, lost in the feeling of his fingers tugging on the long strands. “Listen Luke, I meant it when I said my life is kind of complicated right now.”

“As long as you’re not hiding in remote areas of the school instead of talking to me, we’ll figure it out.”

“We still need to talk,” I began carefully. “But I’d like to have this discussion somewhere else.” There was just no way I would be able to think clearly after the “discussion” we just had.

“Tonight then,” he suggested, letting his fingertips glide gently across my cheek. “I’ll come by and pick you up?”

“That’s not the best idea, unless you want to be subjected to Henry Cross’ version of meet-the-parents and, trust me, he will not be as pleasant as Grace and Carter were. Why don’t I just meet you somewhere?” I offered.

“How about the lot by the cliffs,” he replied. “Six o’clock?”

“Sure. Six o’clock,” I repeated, trying to appear calm and confident when I was anything but.

I wasn’t even sure what I was going to say to him. Before Luke, I never had to tell someone how much I wanted them or how much I needed them. No one had ever made me feel the way he did. He honestly scared me to death. But since there was no way of knowing if I’d ever get back to my life in 2011, if I was stuck in 1999, I wanted to be stuck with him.

“I have to meet Josh to work on some problems for our chem final,” he said, looking at his watch. “I’ll see you tonight?”

His eyes burned through me, and I wondered if he planned on kissing me again. Instead, he grasped my hand tightly and rubbed a small circle into my palm with his thumb. After a quick squeeze, he released it and walked back into the building without another word.

I stood frozen in place, watching him as he left. Well, I watched certain parts of him as he left.
Why hadn’t I watched him leave more often?

I knew it would be impossible to concentrate on finals when I had just been minutes away from tearing Luke’s clothes off behind the school gym. Instead of studying like the good girl I once was, I was ogling Luke’s ass and wondering if he wore boxer briefs or rolled commando.

I spent the rest of the day extremely distracted, but somehow managed to tackle my last two final exams. Driving home with my stomach full of butterflies, I counted down the hours until I could see him again. I found myself envisioning Luke in a tuxedo at the prom, and wearing his cap and gown. I saw myself riding on the back of his bike again, and laying side by side in the grassy clearing by the ocean’s edge, looking at the stars. My thoughts shifted to the future, wondering what it would be like to have the man in the black and white photo standing behind the bar and smiling that smile at me.

When I walked into my living room a short time later, I was startled to find my mother home, sitting on the couch, and my father pacing the room furiously. The sound of the door closing caught their attention and their stern faces turned to me. I winced as I noticed the empty bottle of Captain Morgan on the coffee table. I forgot that I shoved that under my bed.

Fantastic.

“Sit down, Jillian,” my father began in a scarily calm voice. I could tell he was upset, but I had never really gotten into trouble before so I wasn’t sure how angry he really was. I decided it was best to comply.

“What…how…I can’t believe….”

Okay. He’s super mad.

“Henry,” my mother interrupted, sending my father a look that said she would continue the interrogation. I had to say, for a police officer, he was rather ineffective.

“Jillian,” she began. “Can you explain to me why I found an empty bottle of rum underneath my seventeen-year-old daughter’s bed? Is this the same bottle that’s been missing from our liquor cabinet?”

I stared blankly at my mom. Offering to run to the store and replace it probably wasn’t what she was looking for.

“Mom, Dad, I’m sorry, I was…curious and when I tried it…it just tasted horrible. I can’t believe people actually drink that stuff! I, for one, was disgusted so I just…poured the whole thing down the drain,” I blurted out. I felt my body inadvertently shudder. I would never waste alcohol.

“Do you really think….are we supposed to…” my father continued fuming until my mother shot him another cautioning glare. Thank God the crime rate was low in Reynolds, and he didn’t need to do this often. He might hurt himself.

“Let me get this straight,” my mother added doubtfully. “You took a sip, hated it and decided to rid the house of alcohol by pouring the remainder down the drain?”

“Yes?” I replied, wavering. I’d admit this wasn’t the best excuse I probably could have come up with, but it had been a rough day.

“Nice try, Jillian,” she replied. “Go to your room. You’re grounded.”

There was a part of me that was a little excited to be grounded for the first time. It was a rite of passage that I never experienced. However, when I remembered that I was supposed to meet Luke at the cliffs, my heart plummeted. While I had planned to put on my best disgruntled teenager act, I didn’t really need to pretend. I stormed upstairs and into my bedroom. The phone rang as soon as I closed the door.

“Hello,” I answered in a huff.

“Hey, Jillian! Great news!”

“Danielle, this isn’t a good time,” I began, dragging the corded phone across the room to my desk.

“This is a fantastic time because I found you a fantastic prom dress,” she replied triumphantly. I was suddenly having
déjà vu
as I thought back to the day I hit my head two weeks ago because of her damned skinny jeans. A prom dress from Danielle could possibly kill me.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what it looks like?”

I knew better than to disagree or debate her. She had picked out some of the most fabulous items of clothing I’d ever owned. I was pretty sure that the prom dress would be incredible, ridiculously over-priced and probably dangerous.

“Sure. Yes. Of course,” I replied. I really didn’t have time for chatting. I needed to find the aftercare instructions for my tattoo where Luke wrote his phone number.

“It’s black with silver trim and it’s just the most adorable thing you will ever see,” she gushed.

“It sounds great,” I added, preoccupied with my search. “Listen, my parents found that bottle of rum I swiped when I made the Pad Thai and I’m in a lot of trouble. Maybe we can discuss this tomorrow?”

“Oh no!” she muttered. “What are you going to do?”

“Throw myself at their mercy? I don’t know. I already tried lying and it didn’t go very well. I’m going to hang up before they remember I have a phone in here and take it away,” I explained finally spying the rumpled up paper jammed underneath one of my textbooks. I knocked my Word of the Day calendar over in the process. Today’s word had been
misconstrue
.

Misconstrue: 1. to misunderstand the meaning of; 2. take in a wrong sense; 3. misinterpret.

Thinking of my current predicament, I wanted to toss the whole calendar across the room. I needed to call Luke and explain before he got the wrong idea and assumed I was hiding again.

“Well, good luck,” she replied sympathetically. “I’ll bring the dress to school tomorrow. I have to get going anyway. Meg found a dress, too, and I’m trying to convince her that heels with six-inch clear platforms are only for strippers and prostitutes. Chat later!” she added before hanging up.

My stomach again did a flip flop as I stared at the phone knowing I had to call and cancel on Luke. It was already five, so I needed to call soon to catch him. I took a deep, calming breath and began punching in the numbers.

“Hello.” The sound of Grace Chambers’s voice immediately put a smile on my face, despite my nerves.

“Hello…Grace,” I stammered. “This is Jillian. May I speak to Luke, please?”

“Oh, hello, Jillian,” she greeted cheerfully. “So nice to hear from you. Luke had plans this evening so he isn’t home right now. I’ll tell him you called, though.”

How the hell did we survive without cellphones?

“Oh, thank you, I was supposed to meet up with him later, but I’m…well, I won’t be able to make it,” I explained, suddenly embarrassed that I’d been grounded.

“Oh no,” she replied. “I’ll make sure to tell him. I’ll see you Thursday night, though?”

“Yes, of course,” I added. “I actually just spoke to my friend Danielle who has apparently found the perfect dress for me. I haven’t seen it yet, but from what I hear, it’s black with some silver in it. The silver has me a bit concerned. I’m just praying I don’t look like the prom date from the future.”

“I’m sure you’ll look beautiful,” she said kindly.

“Thank you, Grace, and please apologize to Luke for me,” I added.

“Of course,” she replied before disconnecting.

I stared at the phone again, feeling uneasy. Glancing at my watch I knew in an hour Luke could be sitting at the cliff waiting for me. If he didn’t head home first, he was going to think I stood him up. I just hoped he’d understand.

That night in my dream, I found myself walking through the front door of a bar.

Behind the dark wooden counter stood the bartender. I watched his back muscles flex beneath his crisp oxford shirt as he twisted his towel around a glass, then returned it to the drying rack.

“What do I need to do to get some service around here?” my dream-self asked, settling down on one of the barstools. I crossed my legs, allowing my skirt to fall away from my upper thigh. The bartender turned around, his brown hair askew and his smile crooked as his gaze rested on my legs.

“I’m fairly certain you’ve been served quite well,” he replied with an evil smirk.

“That may be true,” my dream-self quipped, enjoying the banter.

“But since today is a special day,” he added, coming out from behind the bar. “I may be able to help you.”

“Today’s a special day?” I asked, teasing him. “Remind me again?”

“I think I reminded you last night,” he replied, whispering in my ear, “and this morning before work and again in the shower.”

“I think I may need you to refresh my memory,” I murmured as his lips swept across my neck. I grabbed the back of his head and held his mouth against my neck as he devoured me. Dragging his tongue along my collarbone, he nipped and teased before descending on my lips, leaving me breathless and wanting.

“Happy Anniversary, baby,” he said softly, grabbing my hand and spinning the rings on my finger.

“Happy Anniversary,” I replied.

When I woke up, I could almost smell the beer, mint and Luke.

Arriving at school, my eyes immediately scanned the lot looking for him. I was struck by how in a day I had gone from skulking around the halls dodging him, to nervously fidgeting as I waited for his arrival. With Senior Week activities officially beginning, the parking lot was buzzing with excitement. Luke hadn’t arrived yet so I wasn’t able to share in the merriment. We were only in school for a few hours for an assembly so I needed to find him as soon as I could. I didn’t want to risk waiting until later in the day. I could easily see him skipping out on the assembly, and I couldn’t imagine him going to a school-sponsored bonfire.

I decided to be bold and head over to his locker, and explain myself before he got the wrong impression. There was no use in hiding how I felt anymore. I think I had made my feelings abundantly clear when I attacked him behind the gym. I needed him to know that I wanted him as much as he seemed to want me, probably more. I just hoped that Grace was able to convey my regret for not being able to see him and do some damage control. I didn’t have a great track record, and I knew I would think the worst if I were in his place.