Living the Significant Life

“Peter Hirsch and Robert Shemin have opened the door for thousands of people to enter into success. This book will inspire you to live every day with passion as you embrace your purpose.”

—John C. Maxwell, author of
Developing the Leader within You

“
Living the Significant Life
is an important book that will teach you how to get the most out of life—by giving. It is my privilege to count Peter Hirsch as a friend, and I can share with you that he lives these principles daily and with passion.”

—Vicente Fox, president of Mexico, 2000–2006

“Peter’s and Robert’s teachings are stimulating and inspiring. They will encourage and excite you to the point of action. I especially love their insights on belief.”

—Rudy Ruettiger, inspiration for the film
Rudy

“This is a practical guide that demonstrates that genuine success—and significance—are measured as much by what we contribute to the world around us as by what we gain in money, titles and belongings.”

—Sam Caster, founder of Mannatech and MannaRelief

“We yearn for success and significance. Unfortunately, we often pursue them in all the wrong ways.
Living the Significant Life
shows us how to achieve these things on God’s terms and in a way that is not only personally rewarding but that also blesses others. The principles in this book are eternal, practical, and available to everyone who wants to reach for all that life has to offer.”

—Bill McCartney, founder of Promise Keepers

“The world is round, and what you give will come back to you in measures beyond your imagination. I recommend these teachings and trainings to my organization and suggest you do the same.”

—Bob Steed, CEO of Trivani International

“The simple truths this book teaches are a blueprint for living a life of purpose, success and significance.”

—Jim Rohn, business philosopher and founder of Jim Rohn International

“Peter and Robert show us how to let go and let God change the meaning of our lives by design rather than delusion.”

—Dr. Denis Waitley, author of
Seeds of Greatness

“Living the Significant Life
is a book that teaches what is really important—the intangibles that will inspire you to reach beyond your wildest dreams. I work very closely with Peter and know beyond a doubt that this book comes from his heart. He lives it, and so can you. I strongly recommend this book’s teachings and trainings to our organization and suggest you do the same.”

—Darren Jensen, Chief Sales Officer of Ampegy

“We have used Peter’s trainings and ideas at Top Gun to focus and define our leadership to better serve all those we come in contact with. He will help you and your team strengthen your vision and leadership.”

—Robert Dean Jr., Top Gun International

“It is not every day you read a book and immediately realize there is a different and better way to think about everyday life. This is one of those books. Take the time to read it and live it.”

—Ken Hartwick, CEO of Just Energy

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey
Published simultaneously in Canada

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Hirsch, Peter, date.
Living the significant life: 12 principles for making a difference/Peter Hirsch and Robert Shemin.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-470-64125-5 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-118-17513-2 (ebk);
ISBN 978-1-118-17514-9 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-17515-6 (ebk)
1. Meaning (Psychology). 2. Self-actualization (Psychology). I. Shemin, Robert, date. II. Title.
BF463.M4H57 2012
158—dc23
2011049810

For Ariel & Malia

—P. H.

For Alexander

—R. S.

Foreword

Living the Significant Life
is a book that shares some principles all of us should adopt and why we should adopt them. This is a book that gives clear insights, thoughts, and directions that will make a difference in anyone’s life.

It’s common sense, written from the heart, based on personal experience and a study of significance. The authors, as the saying goes, have “been there and done that.” Now they want you to come along with them. Not only do they want you to do that, they also give compelling reasons why the approach they’re taking will enrich and enhance every phase of your life, making you a happier, healthier, and better person as you battle the difficulties that very frequently come with life.

The powerful principles that
Living the Significant Life
examines have worked for thousands of people, and I have every reason to believe they can work for you as well. As a matter of fact, when I adopted many of these principles that the authors discuss with such passion, every facet of my life was affected and enriched.

I encourage you to pick up your pen when you pick up this book. Mark the passages that have meaning for you. Pause, reflect on, and
really
think about them. Then write yourself a little note, a reminder of something you can use that will make you a better person and a more complete human being—one able to harness the power instilled inside you.

I encourage you not to pick up this book with the intention of “finishing” it; instead, read the book with the purpose of gleaning wisdom from it that will enrich your life increasingly with every subsequent reading. The enrichment begins when you follow the directions and suggestions. So take the steps the authors are encouraging, and I really will see you—not just
at
the top but
over
the top!

—Zig Ziglar

Acknowledgments

We’d like to thank our families for their continuous love, encouragement, and support while we traveled the world sharpening these principles. In addition, our literary agent, David Hale Smith, has been a source of constant wisdom, and so have the staff and editors at John Wiley & Sons. We are grateful to Susan McDonald, who turns our thoughts and stories into coherent sentences and chapters. Finally, we thank our friends around the country and around the globe, who challenge us to live each day with passion and purpose.

INTRODUCTION

From Success to Significance

Success is what happens
to
you; significance is what happens
through
you.

—Peter Hirsch

Dane Wierman didn’t get a lot of birthday presents for his eighth birthday, but don’t feel sorry for him—that’s the way he wanted it! Instead of buying presents for him, his friends were asked to donate the money they would have spent on gifts to the children of Guatemala.

Let’s back up a bit. Shortly before Dane’s birthday, his father, Dr. Troy Wierman, had returned from a medical mission to Guatemala with stories about the dire needs of the people he had met there. Dane was touched and wanted to find some way to share what he had with the Guatemalan children who had so little. When he heard that a friend had used his birthday party to raise money for a classmate’s surgery, Dane decided that this was what he wanted to do for the children of Guatemala. And that’s exactly what he did.

Dane raised $360 and gave it all to a medical clinic’s milk program. Instead of a gaming system or a motorized scooter, Dane bought milk and meals for starving children.

That’s significance.

Now let us tell you a little about the medical team that inspired Dane’s generosity.

After a long and bumpy trip, the team arrived at a remote village in the Quiche district. The team’s doctors and nurses briefly laid down their stethoscopes and picked up brooms and cleaning supplies to prepare the dirt-filled cement area that would become the well-equipped mobile medical clinic. Within an hour, the exam areas were clean, patients were checked in, the pharmacy was well stocked, and a small school bus was converted into a sonogram facility and a functioning laboratory.

At the same time the medical team was seeing hundreds of patients, a construction team of twenty men and women set out to build a new dorm at a nearby orphanage. The crew was made up of people of all ages and included office workers, salespeople, firefighters, and a few who actually knew construction. What the team didn’t know was that just days before their arrival, one of the orphanage buildings had caught fire and had been completely destroyed. There were, thank goodness, no children in the building at the time. The children and the local community watched in amazement as the team of construction “pros” poured their hearts into completing a new dorm in just two days. The team also left a large supply of lumber, bedding, clothes, school supplies, and canned food—enough to supply the orphanage until the team fulfilled its commitment to return in just a few months.

That’s significance.

Meanwhile, thirteen hundred miles away in Texas, a group of people were putting on a one-day garage sale. They put up a giant banner on a prominent corner in Plano. Let’s be very clear: if you have a garage sale anywhere in North Dallas, suddenly traffic comes from every direction. People want to see what you no longer want.

But this was unlike any other garage sale anybody had ever seen before, because it wasn’t actually a sale. Everything—every item—was completely free. The signs had advertised that each person could take five things—totally free. People came. Boy, did people come.

Exciting things began to happen. Let us share just two of them.

A blind single mother and her seven-year-old daughter came to the sale. The little girl, Becca, didn’t have a winter coat, and her mother had been praying that she would find one for her. When they arrived, they discovered that three brand-new coats had been donated. Becca tried on the one she liked best, and it fit perfectly. Her mother started crying for joy when she heard the delight in her daughter’s voice as she talked about how beautiful it was.

Becca was so excited that she asked one of the workers if she could get something for her mother, too, so the worker took her aside, and Becca secretly picked out a gift to give her mother for Christmas. Meanwhile, the mother had turned to one of the workers and said, “I want to get a Christmas gift for my daughter.” Neither knew what the other was doing.

That’s significance.

Elsewhere at the garage “sale,” after picking out several items, two women mentioned that they would like to have one of the large brass beds that was on display, but they didn’t have a way to get it home. One of the workers immediately spoke up and said, “We’ll deliver it to your home right now—totally free.” The women looked stunned and one said, “What kind of people are you?” They were shocked by the power of love in action.

That, too, is significance.

It may not fit a classic definition of personal success. It may not be on the front pages of newspapers. But it’s something that touches people’s lives. It’s something happening through you to touch someone else.

Whether it takes place in Guatemala or Texas or anywhere else in the world, the global definition of success is changing. We are a people in need of significance.

As this is being written, our country is struggling to emerge from a global economic tsunami. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is plunging one day and shooting up some the next, home foreclosures are at a record level, fear is at an all-time high for the average investor, and our children’s future has been mortgaged with unimaginable federal debt. Who can you trust with your hard-earned money?

With the evening news offering little to smile about, it’s no wonder that all this upheaval is having an effect on our mental and emotional health. We worry about our ability to retire comfortably, to provide a life for our children that matches the one our parents provided for us, to make a positive difference in the world, and to find the personal joy that each of us deserves.

So all of this leads to some questions: What is it that we truly desire? How do we define success in this chaotic universe? We think the answer is that we need to
redefine
success.

We are a people hungry for change. We are a people thirsty for more. We are a people in need of significance. It’s true: it’s significance that people are searching for, not success—at least not the traditional definition of success.

Now don’t get us wrong: there’s nothing inherently wrong with success and wanting to be successful. In fact, this entire book explores principles that have the power to make you more successful, happier, and more fulfilled. However, it is our firm belief that significance—what happens through you, not to you—is what success is all about. How do you make
others
successful, and, in turn, yourself?

TIPS FROM PETER

I was a success. By almost any definition, I had made it. I graduated at the top of my class in law school when I was twenty-four. That year, I went to work for one of the country’s most prestigious law firms and was earning a six-figure salary.

No doubt about it. I was a “success.” But I wasn’t happy.

The self-serving life of a New York City litigation attorney left me feeling empty, depressed, and alone. For the first time in my life, I felt utterly powerless. For weeks, I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t understand why this was happening to me. Everyone around me was telling me how successful and promising my career was, but I couldn’t see it. The “success” meant nothing to me, and I didn’t know why.

To this day, I can’t tell you exactly what happened, but I made a choice that forever changed my life. I discovered that true success comes only to those who are invested in the success of others. That’s significance. Success is what happens to you; significance is what happens through you.

My first book,
Living with Passion
, was a success. Some may even call it significant. Still, its focus was on success—what the reader could get from it.

The stories that open this book are amazing because they involve ordinary people who decided to make a difference. What would the world look like if everyone felt that way? The reality is that most people do. Most of us yearn to make a difference, have an impact, leave a legacy. Here’s the challenge. It’s called life. Yes, all of us would like to do “good,” but by the time we get home from work, feed the kids, walk the dog, and do the dishes, we simply forget about the good we wanted to do all day. What if doing good is what you did for a living?

For the last five years, my passion has been teaching individuals and companies about Social Entrepreneurship. Simply defined, Social Entrepreneurship uses entrepreneurship and for-profit principles to solve global, social issues. It empowers ordinary people to make an extraordinary impact.

The challenge we face today is that the old giving model is largely broken. As the economy impacts people’s lives around the world, giving to churches, ministries, and other nonprofit organizations has decreased dramatically. Some of the most important organizations in the world are nearing extinction. The times call for a new solution. The needs are getting greater, yet the resources appear to be diminishing. How can the two be reconciled? It’s going to take different and creative thinking. The world’s great challenges are getting worse, so what can we do?

It’s time for the for-profit world to come up with the solutions. Hundreds of companies are now stepping up to battle social issues. Toms Shoes has revolutionized giving through their buy-one-give-one program. Grameen Bank is having a powerful impact on poverty through microloans. Mannatech and Nu-Skin International are nourishing thousands upon thousands of children. Energy companies such as Ampegy and Spark Energy are giving power to the powerless. All of these for-profit companies are inviting consumers to be part of the solution. They are offering a solution that we can call, for lack of a better term, “Compassionate Consumption.”

Social Entrepreneurship has four elements (the first two are shared by all entrepreneurs):

See the problem.
Find or create the solution.
Tap into people’s passion.
Incentivize them to be part of the solution.

The reality is that something has to change. The old fund-raising efforts of asking people to spend money they don’t have on stuff they don’t need just isn’t working anymore. It’s time to invite people to seriously be part of the solution.

This book is different from my first because I’m different. My focus has changed. My passion has changed. My passion today is helping others to learn the benefits of living a significant life.

A Word about Our Method

You’re about to begin exploring the twelve principles that will help you to move from wherever you are now into a life of significance and fulfillment, but first we’d like to introduce you to some friends of ours.

Are you familiar with the song “Every Picture Tells a Story”? We happen to believe that the opposite is also true: every story paints a picture. That’s why we’ve created a series of stories—parables, actually—to illustrate the twelve principles. At the end of each chapter, we’ll see how some fictional characters deal with the kinds of issues all of us face from time to time, and we’ll watch them use the principles outlined in this book to successfully navigate the sometimes murky waters of their lives.

Our hope is that by letting us share their experiences, the characters who inhabit these stories will paint a picture to show how you can apply these principles to your own life.

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