Living the Significant Life (25 page)

The Hurleys hadn’t planned to expand their family, and when Jennifer volunteered to spend a few hours a week in the children’s waiting room, she didn’t think it would lead to becoming a mother again. But her commitment to Emily, and to bringing some level of permanence into her fractured life, had steadily grown over several months and had enabled her to step up when Emily needed her most.

So what are you committed to? And what are you willing to do to make it happen? You’ll need one final principle in order to follow your commitment all the way to the end. Let’s talk about it now.

PRINCIPLE #12

Make a Choice

The greatest power a person possesses is the power to choose.

—J. Martin Kohe

This principle is a fairly simple one, yet it is extremely powerful, for you must exercise it to gain access to all the others. It is simply the knowledge—not only in theory or in periods of reflection, but moment by moment throughout your day—that it is up to you. It’s your
choice.

It is through choice, not chance, that we forge our futures. We are all in possession of the power to shape our destinies, moment by moment, with choice.

We want to share a story with you that we first heard from peak performance expert Dr. Charles Garfield about a young man named Henry Peterson.

Henry had a dream of being the very first person in his family ever to graduate from college. He applied and was accepted to Georgetown University.

Henry had another dream. He wanted to play college football. He never considered going pro; he just wanted to play for his college team. He tried out for the team and made it.

For four years, Henry sat on the bench. One week before the final game of the season in his senior year, tragedy struck Henry’s family. His father died. Henry was torn. If he went home, he let the team down; if he stayed and played, he failed his family.

He asked his coach for advice. The coach told him, “Go home, Henry. Your family needs you more than the team does.” So Henry went home.

About an hour before the big game, who showed up in the locker room but Henry, suited up and ready to play! The coach, seeing him there, blew his top. “Henry,” he shouted, “I thought I told you to go home!”

“Coach,” Henry replied quietly, “I need a favor.”

“What?” replied the upset coach. After a moment, he cooled off and told Henry, “Anything, Henry. What do you want?”

“Coach, I need to start the game today.”

“What!” said the coach, with some anger returning. “Well, not
anything
, Henry. Look, you’ve sat on the bench for four years. I can’t start you—”

“Coach,” Henry repeated firmly, “just this once—please?”

“All right,” the coach relented, “but the first time you compromise the team effort I’ll take you out, Henry. It’s nothing personal. The game is just bigger than you or me.”

So Henry started—and he was awesome. He blocked. He faked. He carried the ball play after play after play, gained more than a hundred yards rushing, and scored two touchdowns on the way to helping his team win a resounding victory.

At the end of the game, the coach ran up, gave Henry a bear hug, and screamed, “Henry, Henry, why didn’t you tell me you could play like that?”

“Did you ever meet my dad?” Henry asked in return.

“No, son,” the coach said, “I never had the pleasure.”

“Did you ever see my dad and me walking around the field for hours and hours, talking, arm in arm?”

“No, son,” the coach said, and asked, “What’s your point, Henry?”

“Coach,” said Henry, looking at the older man with tears in his eyes, “my dad was blind. Today was the first game he was ever able to see me play.”

Henry fulfilled his dream of being the first in his family to graduate from college, and he went on to build a very successful business career, as well. Henry points to that day and that football game as his shining moment, as the day his life changed for the better—forever. When asked why, Henry says, “Because that was the day I realized it was my choice to be a benchwarmer or a player.”

Choice, not chance. That’s the key to living a significant life.

Please understand that this is not a choice you make once and you’re done. The choice to live a significant life is a moment-by-moment opportunity. You will be presented with the choice again and again and again, thousands and even millions of times throughout your life. Each time it will be new and fresh. Each time you make a choice in favor of a significant life, you will be energized, uplifted, and electrified

Choice is our greatest power. No one can ever take it from us. It is the ultimate gift and the ultimate freedom.

Vernon Howard, the wonderfully pragmatic master of human potential, once said: “You need only choose . . . then keep choosing as many times as necessary. That is all you need do. And it is certainly something you can do. Then, as you continue to choose, everything is yours.”

Given the choice, we know you will choose to live a significant life.

• • •

Just like the rest of us, the characters we’ve met in our little parables had choices to make.

Justin could have given in to his natural shyness and missed his opportunity to attend space camp, but he chose to let his desire overcome his discomfort and take the necessary steps to achieve his dream.

Brad chose to follow his heart to discover his real purpose, to face down the fear of failure that was keeping him stuck in one place, to sharpen his focus, and to take the first steps toward a life of true significance.

Maria dared to dream of having more personal satisfaction while making a bigger impact on her patients, and she exercised her imagination to make it happen.

David chose to stop drifting and establish the goals that would shape his personal and professional future.

Megan chose to change her attitude, and in the process she brought about improvements in her own life and that of her family.

Chris chose to put aside his leisurely retirement in favor of establishing a new career that would make an enormous difference in the lives of people who desperately needed his help.

Lauren took control of her life by choosing to make her book a priority rather than an unfulfilled dream.

Anna had a choice between giving up, by accepting what seemed to be her mother’s fate, and believing that there was still hope. She chose hope.

Jennifer chose to walk the talk. Her choice to follow through on her commitment dramatically changed the life of a child.

So what about you? Every choice you make has a result of some sort, and the choice not to choose is, of course, also a choice. Choose carefully, and you will quickly find yourself on the road to significance.

Epilogue

Success is what happens
to
you; significance is what happens
through
you.

—Peter Hirsch

On a dark and stormy night, a battleship is returning home to port after maneuvers in the North Atlantic. The seas are stormy and gale force winds are blowing, so the captain of the ship has remained on deck to see the vessel safely to its port.

A battleship is a massive assemblage of hundreds of tons of metal, engines, guns, computers, technology, and people—more than a thousand men and women, in this case. It’s like a skyscraper on its side in the water. And tonight this particular skyscraper is tossing up and down in very rough seas.

All of a sudden, the signalman leans onto the bridge and says, “Captain, signal off the port bow.”

The captain has only one concern at this point. He asks, “Is it steady or moving astern?”

If the signal is moving astern (toward the back of the boat), all is well; they are simply two ships passing in the night. But if the signal remains steady, that means they’re on a collision course.

“Steady, Captain” comes the reply.

“Signal this,” barks the captain. “We are on a collision course; suggest you change course twenty degrees.’”

The signalman does so, and the response comes back, “Suggest
you
change course twenty degrees.”

It is quite rare for a naval captain to be addressed in such a fashion. But the captain retains his composure and, though a bit aggravated, commands his signalman to send the following: “I am a captain—change course twenty degrees!”

Again, the reply comes back, “I am a signalman second-class—
you
change course twenty degrees.”

Now the captain is furious, and he roars the message, “I am a battleship—change course twenty degrees!”

And the signal returns, “I am a lighthouse.”

As you’re coming to the conclusion of this book, it is our hope that you are feeling like a lighthouse: strong and steady, shining out a bright beacon of light that can be seen for many miles.

We opened this book with a discussion of Social Entrepreneurship, and we now close with a commercial for the same. The world is forever changed. The great global, social challenges will not be solved through traditional giving. It’s going to take a new type of thinking. It’s going to take a new type of entrepreneur. It’s going to take
you.
Social Entrepreneurship may be the answer, and it is the most exciting business model we have seen in our lives. Simply put, it allows ordinary people to make an extraordinary impact. Using for-profit know-how and entrepreneurial drive and wisdom to solve the greatest challenges of our times—that’s what it’s all about.

Imagine a business model where each time a product is purchased, one is given to a child in need. Imagine a company that is so committed to global change that each time consumers purchase their goods, families are fed. Imagine an industry that is so committed to radical giving that each customer translates into power to the powerless. Now imagine
you
being part of that business, company, or industry. Compassionate Consumption will be a wave of the future. We envision a day where companies around the globe will put a “Compassionate Consumption” seal on their products, and consumers worldwide will support those companies that are making a difference. We welcome you to the world of Social Entrepreneurship and hope you’re full of enthusiasm and excitement as you prepare to begin translating the principles we’ve discussed into a life of true significance.

Together, we will inspire a movement of social entrepreneurs, and empower families around the world to live life to the fullest, retire with dignity, and leave a legacy to future generations. Together, we will give radically, live passionately, and create lives of impact, influence, success, and significance. Together, we will live the significant life.

Index

Aaron, Hank

accomplishment, as “three-legged,”

affirmations

Age of Responsibility

Allen, Woody

association, with creative people

attitude

example

“habitudes,”

mastering

of passion

positive attitude

purpose and

questions to ask of oneself

reinventing past and

servant attitude

avoiding

desire and

risk avoidance and fear

backward motivation

Bannister, Roger

belief

barriers to

as destiny

empowering
vs.
limiting

example

feelings about

framing questions about

as sales

in success

trying
vs.
doing

belonging

biblical references

belief and

challenge and

purpose and

body language

Bonds, Barry

Brooke, Richard

“burning desire,”

Carlyle, Thomas

Carnegie, Andrew

challenge

as catalyst for change

example

change

attitude and

desire and

significance and

charity care, purpose and

children, imagination and

choice

Cliff, Jimmy

closed questions

commitment

example

goals and

leverage and

meaning of

power of

communication, desire and

Compassionate Consumption

courage

Covey, Stephen

Crazy Horse

creative force, of desire

creative pursuits, imagination and

criticism, fear of

Cronkite, Walter

curiosity

“current reality,”

David (King of Judah and Israel)

desire

body language and

building rapport and

creative force of

example

goals and

intensity of

listening and

mirroring and matching

open-ended
vs.
closed questions

voice inflection and

“wanting to want”
vs.,

destiny

belief as

goals and

dialogue, purpose and

discipline

Disney, Walt

Disneyland

divorce, purpose and

doing, trying
vs.,

doubt, belief and

Edison, Thomas

“egonomics,”

Einstein, Albert

empowering belief

Epcot (Disney)

essential values

exercises

commitment

focus

goals

imagination

overcoming fear

priorities

purpose

failure

fear of

goals and

single-minded focus and (
See also
focus)

fear

belief as sales

commitment and

of criticism

as enemy

example

of failure

identifying

overcoming

risk avoidance and

as state of mind

feelings, about belief

fellowship, goals and

focus

acquiring

example

goals and consistent focused action

importance of

single-minded

synergy and

Ford, Henry

Fritz, Robert

Fuller, Buckminster

fun, accomplishment and

games, imagination and

Garfield, Charles

goals

accomplishment and

commitment and

consistent focused action for

example

fellowship and

hints for

importance of

reverse goal setting for

rewards and

specificity of

working with

Goddard, John

Goliath

Grameen Bank

gratitude

attitude and

fear and

Gray, George

Greatest Salesman in the World, The
(Mandino)

growth, accomplishment and

“habitudes,”

happiness

attitude and

as challenge

goals and

purpose and

Harvard University

Hill, Napoleon

Hirsch, Peter

Howard, Vernon

imagination

daydreaming and

example

importance of

visualization and

improvement, imagination and

inspiration, purpose and

integrity, discipline as

intrinsic values

“invisible counselors,”

Jackson, Reggie

James Bond
films

Judd, Stanley

Kennedy, John F.

“kingpin” example

Lakein, Alan

learning, attitude and

Leonard, Stew

leverage, commitment and

life purpose
See also
purpose

limiting belief

Lincoln, Abraham

listening

desire and

purpose and

Little Engine That Could, The,

Living with Passion
(Hirsch)

“logjam” example

Lombardi, Vince

long-term goals

Mandino, Og

“Man in Space” (Disney)

Mannatech

mastering, of attitude

Mastermind groups

Masters, Edgar Lee

McElroy, Ed

meaning in life, goals and

Midsummer Night’s Dream, A
(Shakespeare)

Miller, Ron

mirroring and matching

money

fear and

purpose and

motivation

fear and

values and

“movers and shakers,”

Murray, W. H.

“My Favorite Things” (song)

Namath, Joe

negative beliefs

nonverbal communication

Nordstrom

Nu-Skin International

Olson, Jeff

open-ended questions

Oxyfresh USA

Pacific Institute

passion, attitude of

past, reinventing

Path of Least Resistance, The
(Fritz)

persistence, commitment and

Peterson, Henry

Plato

positive thinking

goals and

positive attitude

positive beliefs

practice, focus and

present, attitude and

priorities

example

procrastination and

time management and

process goals

procrastination
See also
priorities

Prothro, Tommy

purpose

attitude and

example

goals and

living purposefully

reason for

values and

questions

about beliefs

attitude and, to ask of oneself

open-ended
vs.
closed

reaction, attitude and

religion.
See
biblical references

reprogramming, attitude and

results, accomplishment and

reverse goal setting

rewards, goals and

Robbins, Anthony

Roosevelt, Eleanor

Roosevelt, Theodore

Rowling, J. K.

sales, belief as

Second Himalayan Expedition, The
(Murray)

self-discipline

self-esteem

service

purpose and

servant attitude

7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The
(Covey)

Shakespeare, William

Shaw, George Bernard

short-term goals

single-minded focus
See also
focus

Slight Edge, The
(Olson)

Social Entrepreneurship

Solomon (King of Israel)

source values

Spoon River Anthology
(Masters)

state of mind, fear as

success

attitude and

belief in

goals and

overcoming fear for

significance and

single-minded focus for (
See also
focus)

Success,

synergy, focus and

tempo, of voice

tension, desire and

Teresa, Mother

Think and Grow Rich
(Hill)

time frame, for goals

time management
See also
priorities

Toms Shoes

tone, of voice

trying, doing
vs.,

values

goals and

purpose and

victimization, attitude and

visualization

vocabulary

voice inflection

volume, of voice

Walt Disney, Inc.

“wanting to want,”

Wierman, Dane

Wierman, Troy

Wooden, John

“You Can Get It If You Really Want” (Cliff)

Ziglar, Zig