Living With No Regrets (14 page)

After a moment of the doctor typing away on the keyboard, he took the remote and changed the channel.  More pictures of brain scans came up on the TV hanging on the wall.  These scans were already marked and circled, and Mark could see the differences.  Using the mouse on the computer, the doctor stated his observations.

“First, I want you to note the difference in the size of the tumor,” he used the mouse arrow on the screen to point to the image in the middle of the nine square scans it showed.  “In the two months since the first MRI, the tumor has more than tripled in size; which is a very rapid rate of growth.”

Mark was shocked, and looking over at the women, he saw the same reaction in them.  Pain dominated both of their expressions as they took in what was being said.  He squeezed their hands and turned back to the TV.  The image changed, just as he looked, and became a progression of the head; showing how the MRI broke the scan down into layers of Leigh’s head. 

“I want you to watch these two different views, and then I will slow it down and explain more.  If you will notice, there is still that small space between the tumor and the actual brain.” 

Dr. Hickmon watched both scans with them. Something Mark noticed was that the space surrounding Leigh’s brain was no longer black like it had been in the scans on the wall from June.  He glanced back and forth just to verify he was remembering right, which he was.  In the new scans, instead of the black space, it was more of a cloudy look; not quite solid or white as the brain tissue and skull bone looked.  He was going to ask about that, but the doctor had noticed him looking back and forth and asked him what he was thinking.

When Mark stated his observations and questioned them, the doctor nodded.  “That was one of the things I was hoping all of you would notice….Ms. Hampton, are you with me?”

Mark looked back down at Leigh and noticed the glazed look to her eyes, and he knew she was having a hard time holding it together.  She never liked to show her feelings on the outside.  She was one to stew in them and master them before talking to anyone.  He had thought he had broken her of that habit, but he guessed not.  But then looking at Mary Leigh and seeing the tears falling freely down her cheeks, he understood that he was trying to hold it together for her mother.

“Um…yeah I’m with you.” she answered.  Her voice was thick with the emotion she was keeping in check.

“Alright.  That area you asked about, Mr. Lands, is fluid.”  He turned back to the computer screen and moved the mouse around a bit and the TV screen went back to a certain frame of the scan that showed the fluid he was talking about, and then he walked over to the wall lamp and the scans that were hung there.  “In these, you see the space is the minimal that everyone has between the brain and skull.  Now looking at the new scan you see the noticeable difference.  The fluid is building and putting pressure on your brain.  On top of that,” he walked back to the computer and clicked the screen to another frame.  “The tumor has grown to the point where it is now putting even more pressure on your brain.”

“What does that mean?” Leigh asked in that same thick voice, and when Mark looked back at her, he saw that she no longer able to hold back the tears.

“It means, Ms. Hampton, that what first came to me as a simple invasive procedure, is now very risky and complex.  And it needs to be done as soon as possible, or the risks only increase, and the odds for a good outcome decrease.”

Mark’s legs couldn’t hold him up anymore and he sat on the side of Leigh’s bed.  The Hamptons were all he had.  After his family disowning him when he came out of the closet and introduced them to his life partner, Charles, and then losing Charles to his battle of cancer, he had felt like he still had family with the Hamptons.  He had a mother in Mary Leigh, who had always treated him as a son; he even called her Momma most of the time.  His sister was also his best friend, Leigh, and his love for Randy was what he’d always thought a father should feel for his son, though his own father lacked in that area.  The thought of how serious this was, was staggering.  Mark didn’t even want to contemplate losing Leigh.

Feeling a tug on both of his arms, Mark came out of his daze being pulled down into a family hug.  Leigh, who had tears rolling down her own cheeks, was trying to comfort her mother who was sobbing like she had already lost her daughter.  She had one arm around Mary Leigh, and was putting the other arm around his own neck.  Mary Leigh’s arm around him completed the circle.  It wasn’t until he rested his forehead against Leigh’s neck, that he finally noticed that his face was also wet with his own tears.

Being the strong one of the bunch, as usual, Leigh finally started asking questions.

“What exactly will you be doing?”

“I will have to cut about a one and a half square inch section of your skull out and then will drain the fluid in the skull cavity, before removing the tumor.  I should be able to replace the section of bone I take out, and it should heal like a broken bone does, but I will reinforce it anyway to prevent further complications.”

As the doctor was talking, Mark and Mary Leigh both sat back up so they could pay attention to what was being said, since Leigh was likely to forget unless she wrote it down as soon as he left.

“What were the risks you were talking about?” she asked.

“I will want to keep you sedated in a coma for a couple of days at least.  It will allow your brain to try and repair itself with the least amount of stress disrupting your recovery.  I will keep constant monitoring on your brain functions and continued scans to keep track of the healing process.”

“Will she be…normal when you bring her out if the coma?  Will there be any damage or after affects?” Mary Leigh asked; speaking for the first time since the doctor had arrived.

“To be honest, Mrs. Hampton, it is a miracle that your daughter is walking and talking right now.  The pressure from the tumor should have her incapacitated right now, but the only symptoms she is displaying is the memory loss and the headaches that she is taking medication to control.”  Dr. Hickmon had walked over to them while they were embracing each other and was standing at the end of the bed.  “There is no way to know what effect the surgery will have because she is not reacting as she should be right now.  Worst case scenario, is that Ms. Hampton will have permanent, either full or partial amnesia.  She could wake to find that she remembers nothing, and that she has minor problems with her motor functions and speech.  The part of the brain that the tumor is located at is mostly the memory center, but it edges on the areas that control certain speech and motor skills, so it is possible that damage will have been done even if she is showing no signs of it now.  Those effects could be temporary or permanent depending on the level of damage.  There just isn’t a way to know for certain.”

They spoke with him for a while longer; each asking whatever questions came to mind, to make sure everything they could possibly think of was covered.  Finally the doctor asked when she felt that they could move forward with the surgery.

“My son and his father are coming her this afternoon,” she told him.  “I would like to spend tonight and tomorrow with my son and family.  I need to talk to him and explain what will be happening, and what is possible afterwards.  Is Monday soon enough?”

“I think waiting one more day would be alright.  I will have the nurses set everything up and pass on the details.  Would you like to check out of here and then come back in early Monday morning?  Or do you just want to stay here?”

“I’ll check out.  We have a house here in Charlotte, so we’ll be fine, and I think it will be better for my son to be able to see me outside of here for a while before the surgery.”

“Alright.  I’ll sign the paperwork, put in the orders, and the nurse will bring it all in to you soon.”

Mark helped Leigh get dressed and ready to go.  They called Russell and told him that they would be at the new house, and told him how to get there.  Within a couple of hours, they were headed out the door.  There was a somberness to the air around them, but Leigh seemed determined to cheer them up any way she could.  She talked to them about anything and everything except the elephant that was following them.  They decided to spend the time that they were waiting for Russell and Randy, shopping for more stuff for her new house.  Mark and Mary Leigh both seemed to know that she needed to ignore her problems for a while and just feel normal, so they helped in any way they could and had a superficially “fun” afternoon.

“When will we get there?”

Russ chuckled at Randy’s impatience.  They had only been on the road for twenty minutes, and Randy was already bouncing in his seat.  It had only been a little over twenty four hours since Leigh had left.  He really was a momma’s boy.  Of course Russ could completely see why.  Leigh was the type who loved with everything she had in her; and always made sure to shower the person with that love so there was no doubt.  Except for the ignorant fools like himself.

“About an hour, son.  Why don’t you pull out the I-Pod and play that flappy, bouncy, drunk bird game you’ve been playing.  Then the time will fly by.”

Randy giggled.  “It’sh Flappy Bird, Daddy.” he said in a ‘duh’ tone, as he pulled the I-Pod that Russ had gotten for him out of his pocket.

Since Randy was occupied for the moment, Russ thought back to the phone call he’d gotten from Leigh to let him know that she was getting released from the hospital and would be at the house by the time they made it to Charlotte.  He knew he hadn’t been around her much in years, but he couldn’t help but feeling that something was wrong based on how she sounded over the phone.  It was almost as if she was having a hard time talking calmly.  Her voice cracked a couple of times before she had put Mark on to give him the address so that he could enter it into his GPS.

Russ had decided a couple of days before, when she had spent the day with him and Randy together, that he would do everything he could to regain her trust, and then try to rekindle the relationship he’d so stupidly thrown away.  It had been the biggest mistake he’d ever made, and if it took the rest of his life, he’d spend every day of it trying to make it up to her.  Even if she never dated him again, he’d count his blessings at having her in his life along with Randy; the son he’d always dreamed of.  He didn’t deserve either one of them, but he’d never take them for granted.

The other morning, when Leigh woke in a panic not knowing where she was or where Randy was, Russ felt so helpless and out of his depth.  How would he be able to help Leigh if she forgot every morning that they had started talking again?  Sure she had that little notebook that Randy had given her that had ‘reminders’ in it, but would he be able to handle her keeping on forgetting the new him; only remembering the ass he’d made of himself so long ago and how he’d hurt her?

He would.  He couldn’t give her up again.  In the six years she’d been gone, he’d never once even been tempted to try and date anyone.  She’d held his heart since he was fifteen, and would hold it until the day he died.  It was Leigh or no one, and he’d known it all of this time; even if it was only subconsciously.

“Can we get shomething to eat?” Randy’s voice broke into his thoughts about twenty minutes away from their destination.

“I think we’re going to be going out to eat not long after we get there, bud.” he said.  “Think you can wait that long?”

“Ummm…can I get a shnack?  Then I can wait.”

“Sure,” Russ pulled into a truck stop right off of I-77.  “Come on and let’s see what they have.  We’ll use the bathroom while we’re here, too.”

Fifteen minutes later, they got back into his truck with slushies and Little Debbie cakes.  Randy was happy with his swiss cake rolls, and got back on his I-Pod after asking to connect it to the radio to play the music he’d already downloaded on it.  Luckily, they seemed to have the same taste in music, and they both sang to the songs.

About twenty minutes later, they pulled into the driveway of a very big colonial style home.  Russ could tell that it was a new house, but it had been built with that old world charm.  Both levels of the home had wrap-around, covered porches/balconies.  It had to have cost a pretty penny.  When Leigh had said that she had plenty of her own money through her business, Russ hadn’t credited her near as much as he should have.  She seemed to have multiplied her parents’ fortune several times over.

“Momma!” Randy cried out as he jumped out of the truck and ran over to where Leigh had been sitting in one of the rocking chairs on the porch with Mark and Mary Leigh on either side of her.

He couldn’t quite hear what she said as he got out of the truck and headed up to them at a more sedate pace.  When he made it to the porch, Randy was jabbering away about his new I-Pod and showing his momma what all was on it.  She was holding him on her lap and was nodding and exclaiming in excitement at all of the right places, but Russ could tell that her mind wasn’t completely with what Randy was saying.  Her eyes had a glazed look that made him think that she was holding back tears.

“How is everything going?” Russ asked both Mark and Mary Leigh.  When Mary Leigh’s eyes welled with tears, he knew that his fears of something bad coming were founded.

Mark answered for them.  “We’re holding up.” was as much as he could admit to.  Russ noted the strain around the other man’s eyes, and his worry grew.  Not knowing how much of whatever was going on was going to be told to their son, he would wait to ask about what the doctor said until Randy went to sleep for the night.