Long As You Know Who You Belong To (12 page)

“What can I get you to drink?” The handsome bartender
flashed me a wide smile.

“Crown Royal on the rocks with a splash of apple
juice.”

As the bartender went to tend to my order, the
announcement of the beginning of the auction caused me to turn
around. Blaze was on the stage with a mic in her hand, dressed in a
completely different outfit. For as curvaceous as she was, her
style and fit of her clothes were immaculate. Dressed in a pair of
silver sequined joggers, a black lace bustier that cinched her
waist, and a pair of bad ass Casadei studded sandals, homegirl
looked bomb. I’m not a hater; I give credit when it is due, and
Blaze was definitely a bad chick.

“Here you go, miss.”

I turned around briefly to grab my drink and slip the
bartender a tip. Turning my attention back to the stage, I watched
as Blaze excitedly introduced the first auction.

“Now, ladies, I have to let you in on a little
secret. There was another fine gentleman who was going to gift you
all with his presence, but I bid on him behind closed doors and
let’s just say my $5,000 donation will be more than just a tax
write-off,” Blaze laughed.

I walked over to her booth, which lent itself a clear
view of the stage.

“Ok, so let’s start with the men…my favorite, as you
can tell,” Blaze giggled. “Ladies, get out your check book or your
credit card, because this man is definitely going to make you want
to spend it all. Coming to the stage is one of the sexiest models
I’ve ever seen, Kimani Summers!”

My eyes nearly popped out of my socket when I saw
Kimani stroll onto the stage.
What the fuck?

He winked at Blaze and went to greet the growing
group of women that had settled at the base of the stage.

“Kimani is a world renowned male model who has graced
the pages of numerous magazine and billboards. He’s currently
branching out into the acting world. Kimani is twenty-six, with no
kids, no girlfriend, and he has a banging ass body!”

Kimani lifted his shirt up and stuck his tongue out,
revealing his chiseled chest and abs. The women went wild. I rolled
my eyes as women started calling out numbers before Blaze could get
her next sentence out. I was not only pissed that this nigga was
out here playing my homegirl like this, but I knew that Grey’s ass
was around here somewhere.  He’d better not have been sniffing
up and behind none of these ratchet hoes or thinking that he was
going to get his ass up on that stage to get sold to the thirstiest
bidder. Fuck that.

I slammed my glass down on the table adjacent to the
booth and was about walk out to find Grey when I bumped right into
him. He looked too damn good to be around all these thirsty bitches
and my attitude flared immediately.

“Grey, what the fu—“

He placed a kiss on my lips and silenced me. I looked
at him quizzically, and he returned the look. “What you doing here,
babe?” he asked.

“Fuck you mean, Grey?”

He laughed, “I mean when I left the house, you were
gone and all of a sudden you pop up where I’m at? I never told you
where I was going.”

“I’m here because this is my job. I planned the damn
event. Why would you be here? You running behind your thot of a
brother, huh?” I shoved him in his shoulder.

Grey grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the
group of people inside the booth that were beginning to stare.

“I’m going to tell you this one time and one time
only. That ratchet shit; you twisting your neck and flinging your
finger in my face like you really about to do some shit, you better
dead it. I don’t put my hands on females, but you really need to
stop acting like you don’t know who the fuck I am in these streets.
“

His words came out like a sheet of ice, and his eyes
glazed over looking like cold, shiny steel. I could see the muscles
in his jaw flexing, so I knew he was beyond mad. But for what? He
had some damn nerve.

I snatched away from his grasp. “What the fuck ever,
Grey. I’m going home. And I suggest that you don’t be too far
behind me, unless you forgot who you’re fucking with. One wrong
move, and you’re done in this game. I can guarantee it. So play
with me if you want to, nigga.”

Angrily, I marched away from him and out of the door
that led back to the hotel. I was steaming. How dare he try and
front on me like my father don’t hold his life and livelihood in
his hands? I didn’t want to threaten him like that, but I had had
about enough of him trying to play me for stupid. He better wise
the fuck up, or he really was going to be assed out.

I wanted to take a shot of Remy so bad. Fuck a shot;
I needed to throw back the whole damn bottle. Instead, I sat on my
couch draped in blankets, holding a tub of Haggen-Dazs Rum Raisin
ice cream, watching it turn into flavored milk. I couldn’t even
bring myself to eat it; that’s how in my feelings I was. Tears had
been leaking from my eyes for hours. I was surprised that there was
anything left, but they kept falling; dripping down my face, and
soaking the blanket on my lap.

Two Months; that’s how far along I was. The one thing
I swore I never would be was a baby momma, and here I was about to
bring a baby into the world by myself. And the fucked up part is
that I had a feeling that if I hadn’t walked out on Kimani that
night, he would have been overjoyed at my news. I’m so stupid! What
was my problem? As I sat their wallowing, my brain forced me to
think back to New Year’s Eve night.

“
You’re giving me that look,” I giggled. I took a
sip of my champagne and looked over the glass at him. He moved from
the kitchen to the bar to fix himself a drink while the TV showed
Nicki Minaj tearing down the stage at Dick Clark’s New Year’s
Rockin’ Eve special in New York. Grey and Nakami had invited us to
the lavish party Grey was throwing at South Beach, but we had
decided to avoid the madness and the drama that followed them and
just kick it at Kimani’s place. I was content with that. I watched
him make his drink and silently drooled over his shirtless back,
memorizing the muscles and tattoos.

“
What look, girl?” he took a sip of what I was
sure was D’usse and set his glass back on the bar.

“
That look that means that you want to fuck me
right here and right now.”

Kimani walked over from the bar and pulled me off
the couch. I sat my wine glass on the coffee table and wrapped my
arms around his neck. We swayed back and forth like there was a
smooth R&B classic on, even though Nicki was rapping her heart
out to a hip hop beat.

“
Don’t be trying to act like you know me,” he
whispered in my ear before he took a quick nibble. I squealed and
tried to pull away, but Kimani held firm. I twisted around so that
my back was to him, and his arms were holding me tightly around my
waist.

“
I don’t want to fuck you, though.”

I smiled, turning my head to the side so that I
could see his face a little. “Oh, no?”

“
Naw, I want to make love to you.” The words
rolled off his tongue so smooth that I laughed.

“
Oh what? You love me now?” I laughed. I just knew
that the buzz from the wine had hit me.

“
I do.”

Now that shit stopped that giggle before it could
get all the way out. I whipped around to face Kimani. He stared
back at me with a straight face. I tried to pull away again, and he
held me closer.

“
Stop trying to run away from me …from this. You
do this every time I try to tell you how I feel. What are you
scared of?”

“
Kimani, you can’t love me. We haven’t known each
other that long and I-”

“
What does that have to do with anything? If I’m
standing here telling you that I love you, then I do. You know me
well enough to know that I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

My whole body started to shake. This couldn’t be
happening. I wasn’t ready! I opened my mouth to speak, but Kimani’s
lips covered mine before I could utter a word. Passion transferred
from his body to mine, sparking flames that I never knew existed.
This unexplainable feeling swept over me, leaving me breathless and
caused me to break the kiss. Kimani didn’t seem to mind as he
zeroed in on my neck and ears. Once I began to feel hot all over,
he pulled back. My eyes shot open.

“
Your head might be holding you back from loving
me, but your body and your heart is already there,” he
breathed.

I started to dispute his claim. But before I could,
he swept me off my feet, wrapped my legs around his waist, and
carried me up the stairs. He planted soft kisses all over my face
and neck until we reached his bedroom. He let me down, and I
started to take my shirt off until he stopped me.

“
Let me do all the work.”

Slowly easing his hands underneath my cotton tank
top, he lightly grazed my nipples with his thumbs. That simple
action caused shivers to bolt up my spine and for me to let out an
involuntary moan. He continued pushing his way up and removed my
shirt by pulling it over my head. Kneeling, Kimani unbuckled my
jeans and eased them over my hips, down my thighs, and past my
legs, kissing each place as he passed it. In one swift move, Kimani
yanked my boyshorts off, ripping them from the seams and eliciting
a shriek from me.

“
Lie down,” he commanded.

I obeyed him and lay across his California king
sized bed, feeling nervous about sex for the first time ever. I
don’t even remember feeling like this before I got my cherry
popped. But for reasons unknown to me, this man had my emotions
doing all kinds of crazy things. The sound of Tank’s Can I filled
the room, and the recess lights dimmed. I felt Kimani’s presence
near me, but I didn’t see him.

“
Sit up real quick.”

I sat up and turned to his voice. He kneeled onto
the bed and slipped a satin eye mask over my head.

“
Kimani, what the hell? I’m not into that 50
Shades of Grey shit.”

“
Just trust me.”

As soon as the words escaped his lips, I felt my
body being yanked towards the edge of the bed. My legs went up in
the air and were then pushed out to the side. It was killing me
that I couldn’t see him and that I couldn’t determine what was
coming next. I lay there listening to Tank serenade me as the
anticipation of what was to come lingered. Then I felt him.

His lips covered my second set, and he tongued me
down like my core was a well in the middle of a desert.  His
tongue explored every dip and curve, every crease and crevice. He
was expertly skilled in oral acrobatics. I knew this from previous
sex sessions, but this time felt different. It felt like he was
trying to send me a message through the movement of his tongue
without using words. He grabbed ahold of my hips and pulled me
closer to his mouth, and he feasted. He licked and sucked on my
clit like it was the last meal he would ever have. I writhed and
bucked against his tongue like I was riding a mechanical bull, and
he never lost rhythm.

Ecstasy was something that I thought was made up.
Just an imaginary word used to describe the unexplainable or the
mythical. Gottdamn if this man ain’t prove me right. There weren’t
any other words accurate enough to describe the feeling that was
coursing through my body. I rolled my head back involuntarily,
taking in all the pleasure that Kimani gave me. Without warning, he
stopped, and a few seconds later I felt him enter me.

Even behind the veil of darkness, I saw stars. His
strong hands gripped my waist and pulled me towards his body,
allowing him to drive deeper inside me. I couldn’t hold back the
moans that tumbled out my mouth, as he slowly piped me down. I was
used to that back breaking-hair-pulling-sweat dripping-sore bodied
fuck, but Kimani was now giving me a new experience. He was taking
care of my needs and paying attention to every sensory point that
existed in my body, leaving no part of me untouched. With every
stroke, he explained his feelings for me. I didn’t have to look at
his face or hear his voice to know what he was trying to say. I
felt it all.

The tears started falling down in sheets as I
reminisced. I remembered every sight, sound, smell, and taste from
that night. I wished I could go back and change the way things
ended. That night after we made love, I lay in the bed trembling. I
was so scared. Emotions were hitting me from the left and the right
and I was just…scared, man. So when I was sure that Kimani was in a
deep sleep, I tip-toed out his house and fled the scene. He’d done
the unthinkable and the impossible, and it fucked me up. And here I
was two months later, looking at a sonogram of our love child, and
I had no clue what to do. When I found out about the pregnancy, I
tried to reach out to Nakami. But being the stubborn bitch she is,
she sent me to voicemail. I had tried to visit Kimani, to feel him
out, but he wasn’t feeling me. He wanted something that I didn’t
know if I could give him.  As much as I wanted to let him know
that he was going to be a father, I wasn’t ready for a second dose
of rejection. Everything was so messed up, and I didn’t know how to
fix it.

The next morning I woke up in the same spot on the
couch, still holding onto the carton of warm, melted ice cream. I
forced myself off the couch, dumped the carton in the trash, and
walked into the bathroom. I looked a hot mess. My hair was all over
my head, the bags under my eyes could have held a month’s worth of
groceries, and my lips were chapped and peeling. I didn’t feel like
doing anything about it either. But I realized that I only had one
move left, and I had to act on it fast. So I hopped in the shower
and got myself together.

It was almost noon by the time I exited my condo.
Dressed in pair of drop crotch sweatpants, a black, cropped Civil
crewneck sweatshirt, and a pair of liquid metal Nike Dunk Sky Hi’s,
I felt refreshed and optimistic about my next option. I hopped in
my Land Rover and drove over to South Beach, hoping that I would be
able to catch Grey at work.