Looking for a Hero (14 page)

‘So spill,’ I said. ‘Or you will regret it. Although I am only interested from a purely academic point of view.’

‘Yeah sure,’ said Brook. ‘We believe you.’

‘So?’ I asked Leela.

‘Katie was saying that she wanted more of a commitment from Joe,’ she replied, ‘and he was saying that he thought that part of the reason that they’d got together was because neither of them wanted to feel tied down.’

‘Hah, that’s the line he gave me,’ I said.

‘Anyway’ said Leela. ‘She was saying that her feelings for him have changed and that she wanted a proper relationship or nothing at all.’

‘Wow,’ I said. ‘I bet he didn’t like that!’

‘What did he say?’ asked Brook.

‘He said that he wasn’t going to lie to her and that he couldn’t guarantee that, and he didn’t want to set something up then let her down. And she said then, in that case, he couldn’t feel that strongly about her.’

‘I saw her leave about ten minutes ago,’ said Brook. ‘I thought she looked upset.’

‘Hey, anyone seen Zahrah?’ asked Leela.

Brook nodded. ‘She and Ryan are hogging the sofa in the back room.’

‘Yeah, I saw them too,’ I said. ‘Having a snogathon.’

‘She really likes him, doesn’t she?’ said Leela. ‘I’ve never seen her like this. Maybe we should go and crawl behind the sofa and jump out and scare them.’

‘Nah,’ said Brook. ‘Leave them alone.’

I nodded gloomily. ‘Yeah because it probably won’t last.’

‘Oh I don’t know,’ said Brook. ‘I’ve never seen Zahrah so smitten before. I’d give them at least a few weeks.’

At that moment, Mikey spotted us from the hall, grinned, came into the kitchen and closed the door. ‘OK, ladies, time to tango, I do believe.’

Leela laughed. ‘You ready for this?’

Mikey nodded and, without giving him a second to draw breath, Leela went straight over to him and snogged him. After a few minutes, she stepped back and Mikey did a fake swoon, let his knees buckle and slid to the floor with a silly smile on his face.

Leela stood over him. ‘Get up,’ she said. ‘We’re not done with you yet. Now that was the spontaneous I-can’t-resist-you-type kiss. Brook, you’re on next.’

Dutifully, Mikey stood up. Brook stepped forward, took his hands and put them around her neck and snogged him. When she moved away, he put his hand on his heart and grinned.

‘That was a romantic-type kiss,’ said Brook. ‘Slower, softer. OK?’

Mikey nodded. ‘I
like
this but I think I need a
lot
more practice. Um. Who’s next? Oh yeah.You, India.’

‘I’m all snogged out,’ I said, ‘but I will give you some hints. Don’t open your mouth too much. Don’t keep it tight closed either. You want it sort of in between and relaxed. Don’t shove your tongue in her mouth straight away. Wait a while before you do tongue kissing. Build up to it and then press in gently and take your lead from her. If she puts hers forward then you can nudge it a bit. Try it on the back of your hand. Also, if your tongue is too floppy and out of control, it feels messy and too wet, like you’re kissing a live fish. Keep a little control of your tongue, it feels nicer. Try it out.’

‘Show me,’ said Mikey.

I put my hand up to my mouth and kissed it.

Mikey sighed. ‘Not like that. It’s not fair, India Jane. You promised to show me. Just
show
me.’

‘Yeah,’ said Leela. ‘Me and Brook both did and it
is
his birthday’

‘It is my birthday’ Mikey repeated.

The three of them were standing looking at me in such a pleading way that, in the end, I pulled Mikey to me and kissed him. It was a nice gentle kiss. I stepped away. ‘That was fine, Mikey, you have nothing to be worried about, but you want to know the real secret of a good kiss?’

Mikey nodded.

‘Chemistry’ I said. ‘It makes it all fizz.’

‘OK,’ said Mikey, then he smiled. ‘Want to go again?’

I shook my head. Behind me, the door opened and someone came in. I turned to see Joe. ‘All right guys?’ he asked. We all looked at the floor, suddenly embarrassed and silent, and Mikey shuffled out. ‘What’s going on? You’re looking strange. India?’

‘Oh nothing -just talking about the weather, weren’t we?’ I blustered.

Yes. Um. Cold out, isn’t it?’ said Brook.

Joe laughed and shook his head as if he didn’t believe a word of it. You girls,’ he said, helping himself to a can of lager.

Brook manoeuvred herself behind Joe, looked at Leela and jerked her chin towards the door as if to say, Let’s go. Leela stared at her as if she was mad for a second and then she got it. ‘Oh. Right.Yeah. Hey, need the loo. Come with me Brook, yeah?’

‘I’ll come with you,’ I said. I didn’t want to be left alone with Joe, no matter what my friends thought.

‘No, no, you stay here,’ said Brook. ‘Besides I need to talk to Leela about something.’ And they both disappeared.

Joe raised an eyebrow.’Subtle, hey?’ he said. ‘I get the feeling that they wanted to leave us alone.’

‘I’ve no idea why’ I said, and I knew that it came out sounding really snooty. Joe hid a smile, which annoyed me, so I decided to annoy him back. ‘So where’s your new girlfriend?’

Joe shrugged a shoulder. ‘She wasn’t really my girlfriend,’ he said, then he grinned.’She’s stormed off. Think I upset her, but . . . I was only being honest.’

I decided to pretend that I didn’t know what Leela had told me and to play innocent instead. ‘Why, what did you do?’

‘More like what I didn’t do. I don’t know, India. You know me.You know what I’m like.’

‘Not really’ I said. I turned and looked into his eyes and I felt all the old chemistry. I knew that he was feeling it too because he smiled again but in a knowing way. It made my toes curl.

Joe leaned against the washing machine and took a swig of his drink. ‘I wish I knew what I wanted.’

‘What do you mean? In life? In relationships? What?’

‘Girls,’ he said. ‘Like, I’ve been trying to play it really straight this term, you know, on the level, telling the truth so that no one can label me a rat or whatever. Seems it backfires though. Now Kate hates me and probably you do too.’

‘Not hate exactly’ I said.

Joe laughed and I laughed back to show I meant it as a joke, even though I wasn’t sure that I did. I felt mixed up about what I felt. Like, how could I feel something as strong as I had last weekend for Bruno and, hardly a week later, be feeling the same for Joe, who I thought I was over?
Not that either of them wants me,
I thought as another flash of frustration went through me.
Two kisses with boys that I don’t fancy and the ones that I do fancy don’t want to know. It’s sooooooo annoooooooying!

Joe looked at me closely. I so wished that he didn’t have such beautiful eyes with such long curly eyelashes. And I wished he didn’t have such a lovely bottom lip, plump and just pulling me to kiss it. I remembered when we had kissed. It had been delicious. His lips were like a soft silk cushion.
But he doesn’t want you,
I told myself.

‘What then?’ he asked.

‘What then what?’

‘What if it’s not exactly hate?’

‘Why do you want to know what I feel?’ I blurted. ‘You’re just playing with me because Katie has gone.’

Joe looked surprised. ‘I … I …’ he stuttered and for a second I regretted sounding so cross with him.
But boys are a pain,
I thought, stomping off to find Leela and Brook.

‘I think he still likes you,’ said Leela as she pulled her duvet up to her chin. Brook, Zahrah and I were having a sleepover at her house after the party. Brook was in the pull-out bed on the other side of the room to Leela’s and Zahrah and I were on an inflatable mattress on the floor. We’d had mugs of hot chocolate with cinnamon sprinkled on top and Leela’s auntie had plied us with delicious little Indian sweets with pistachios, cardamon and honey. I was feeling stuffed and a half – I love them and had eaten twice as many as anyone else.

‘I do too,’ said Brook.’You can tell by the way he looks at you – like with a half smile.

‘I know that look. I don’t think it means anything apart from the fact that he thinks I’m barking mad. I always seem to say the wrong thing when I’m with him.’

‘A sign of true love,’ Brook declared.

‘No it’s not. For true love, surely both people have to feel it.’ I didn’t want to talk about Joe any more. It made me cross. And frustrated. He was a waste of space. And so was Bruno.Thinking about him made me even crosser. ‘I really really really am off boys. I tried. It didn’t work out. End of story.’

‘I don’t think you should give up,’ said Zahrah. ‘Maybe it’s just that they’re not the boys for you. Someone better will come along.’

Brook and Leela sat up and stared at Zahrah.

‘What?’ she asked. ‘Why are you gawping at me?’

‘Because we’ve never ever heard you talk like that.You’re the Queen of Cynicism,’ said Leela.

‘Yeah,’ said Brook.

Zahrah smiled. ‘Well you never know what or who is around the next corner. Plus I am in love.Yes. Me. L-ove.’

‘That’s so fantastic!‘ said Brook.’I thought you were keen on Ryan but love? That’s top.’

‘Yeah,’ said Leela.

Yes,’ I said. ‘I’m really pleased for you.’

Zahrah glanced at my face and cracked up. ‘Looks like it. I’ve never seen anyone with such a long face.’

I made an effort to smile and to lighten up and be enthusiastic for her, but when Leela turned the light off and we snuggled down, my uncomfortable mood settled back on me like a bad haircut.
Such a lot has happened,
I thought.
Like, life goes around in circles. Good, bad, good, bad. First I was mugged. Then I had the most romantic weekend of my whole life in Ravello. Then hack to a week of misery. First Joe, then Tyler, then Bruno. Three boys and yet I’m no closer to having an actual boyfriend.
As I lay there looking up at the ceiling, I decided that I was going to forget about boys, no matter what my friends said. I was just going to get on with life. Carry on with my school life and forget about Leela’s challenge and looking for the perfect boy. If he was out there, he could come looking for me.The other way round was doing my head in.

After a big breakfast of mango lassies in Leela’s mum’s fab modern kitchen, I got home at around eleven and went to my room to catch up on homework. First though I wanted to contact Erin – it felt like ages since I had spoken to her. Sadly, she wasn’t at home and her mobile was off so, with no excuses left, I turned my mobile off and got stuck into painting a design for panels for one of the scenes in the school show. After a couple of hours, I heard the front door bell ring. Five minutes later, Aunt Sarah called up the stairs.‘India. Come and see.’

I went down the stairs and Aunt Sarah was standing in the hallway with the most stunning bunch of flowers and a small silver box with a red bow on it.

‘For you,’ she said with a big smile and held them out.‘Looks like you have an admirer.’

‘But who?’

Aunt Sarah pulled a little card from the flowers.
‘To my Cinnamon Girl,’
she read. ‘Oh, isn’t that romantic?’

The flowers were a mix of hyacinth and freesias and they smelled divine. And the little parcel looked like it might be some fab Belgian chocolates.

Aunt Sarah turned over the card.
‘Bruno,’
she read.

‘Bruno?’

‘Bruno.’

I felt the hard wall I had built around myself to keep everyone out crumble and fall as delight flooded through me. He hadn’t forgotten me after all. ‘But …’

‘Shall I put them in water for you?’ asked Aunt Sarah.

‘Oh yes. No. I’ll do it.Thanks.’

I took the bouquet from her and went to find a vase, my mind was reeling with possibilities. What had happened?

I didn’t have to wait long because, when I went back upstairs with the flowers, I turned my mobile on to see if there were any messages from Erin and it bleeped that I had two. One was a text from Erin saying that she was home and would be waiting on MSN and one was a voicemail message from Bruno.

‘Bella,’
he said. ‘I’ve been trying to reach you all week. I was studying in Positano the week after you’d gone and I lost my phone there. I left it in a restaurant and, when I went back, it was gone. And getting hold of your grandmother was a nightmare. She never answers her calls, but I kept trying and at last got through and oh … this sounds like a lot of excuses but, India, you know how it was with us. Please call me. I need to hear your voice. More than that. I need to see your lovely face. I am coming over next weekend and hope to see you again then. Call me.’

I felt stunned. I sat down and switched on the computer to contact Erin on MSN. I had to tell her my news before calling Bruno. As I pressed the computer keys, I heard the door bell ring again and, once again, Aunt Sarah called me down. This time, she had a bunch of white roses and a larger card than the last one.‘Not more from Bruno?’ I asked.

Once again, Aunt Sarah looked at the card. ‘No. It says … sure you want me to read this?’

I nodded.

‘It says,
Sorry I’m a fool who can’t commit. Doesn’t mean I don’t rate you. Meet me after school on Tuesday at Costa. I will try and explain. From You Know Who.
Do you know who?’ she asked.