Looking for a Hero (17 page)

After the Tower we caught a boat to Tate Britain, and, even though it was still cold, it was another excuse to cuddle up to him. Somewhere on the trip, my speech about just being friends seemed to have flown away, and I couldn’t help wanting him to kiss me so that I could remember how it was when we were in Ravello and find out if I’d imagined how fantastic it had been. Having snoggedTyler and Joe since I’d last seen Bruno, his kisses had faded in my mind and I needed to experience them again to see how he compared to the other two boys. At least that was what I was telling myself. He didn’t seem in any hurry to kiss me though, and was content to hold my hand or put his arm around me like a protective uncle. It was very frustrating – like being out with one of my brother Lewis’s friends. At the Tate Britain gallery, we spent an hour or so wandering around the rooms looking at the art and sculpture there.Joe
would love this,
I thought as we walked through a stunning exhibition of portraits.
I should come here with him.
Thinking about Joe made me feel sad and irritated. If he’d only get over his stubborn refusal to commit, we could do all sorts of great things together at the weekends. See exhibitions, go for walks, go to the movies. But he
doesn’t
want to be in a relationship, I reminded myself, so you might as well enjoy being with someone who
does
want to be with you.

And next is going to be a surprise,’ said Bruno after we’d had enough of looking at paintings and we were standing on the steps outside the gallery. I took a step towards him, looked into his eyes and tilted my face up to his in the hope that he’d take the hint and
kiss
me, but he didn’t. For a moment, I felt my confidence flounder, maybe Joe wasn’t that into me and maybe Bruno wasn’t either. Maybe I come on too strong or played it all wrong or something.

Bruno dashed on to the pavement where he hailed a taxi and asked for a restaurant which I didn’t catch the name of. I followed him down the steps and got into the cab and felt marginally better as we sat and held hands and watched the world go by.
Beats travelling by tube,
I thought as I took in the busy streets, the Christmas lights and the shoppers dashing about.
Now he’s going to kiss me surely,
I thought.

But he didn’t.

We drove past Buckingham Palace and up past St James’s Park, and all the time Bruno was looking out of the window enthusing about the sights.
Never mind the sights,
I thought.
What about me!

As the cab went through Trafalgar Square, it looked so Christmassy with the huge trees reaching up to the sky and the lights all around. It was then that, at last, Bruno put his arm around me and leaned towards me. He nuzzled into my neck and nibbled the bottom of my ear. Then he leaned further in, lifted my hair and kissed the nape of my neck. It felt exquisite. No one had ever done that before and I decided there and then that it was going to be my favourite thing, ever. Neck kissing. Even better than Häagen-Dazs ice cream. And then he kissed me properly, gently at first but then he pressed harder and I felt myself melting into him. It was wonderful, like I was falling into a warm velvety tunnel and nothing else existed except the sensation of being kissed. I put my hands up to the back of his neck and ran my fingers through his hair and he moaned softly.
Ohmigod,
said a voice at the back of my head.
I love three boys.
But I didn’t let that put me off. Neither Joe nor Tyler was my proper boyfriend and it felt good to be back in Bruno’s arms. Voices in the back of my head were saying, Joe,
Tyler, Joe, Tyler,
but I told them very firmly to shut up.

After a while, the cab drew up outside a grand-looking building on the Strand.Yet another doorman opened the door for us and we entered an amazing room with high ceilings and a floor that was black and white marble, which gave the place a church-like feel. No one was praying though - at the tables, people were busy chatting and eating and drinking and having a good time.

‘Afternoon tea,’ said Bruno as a smart girl dressed in black came forward to take our coats.

‘Yumscious,’ I said and told myself not to feel nervous. It felt so grown-up and formal, a million miles away from the cosy cafés where I usually hung out with my mates or Joe or Tyler.

‘It used to be a bank apparently,’ said Bruno. A waiter led us to a booth to the right of the restaurant where we took our seats and, moments later, yet another waiter handed us menus.

Well it sure is different to Costa or Starbucks,
I thought.

Bruno glanced at the menu. ‘The full works?’ he asked.

‘Sure,’ I said. I wasn’t sure what the full works was going to be, but I didn’t want to sound like it was my first time in a place like this.

It arrived a short time afterwards. A plate of finger sandwiches, another plate of scones with pots of jam and cream and
another
plate full of the most divine, looking pastries.
I am going to get as fat as a pig,
I thought, helping myself to my first pastry,
and I don’t care.
Bruno and I ate every scrap, then sat back and rubbed our tummies and laughed. I noticed a bunch of girls on a nearby table eyeing Bruno with admiration, so I reached over and took his hand and he lifted it to his lips and kissed it. I felt proud to be with him and, as I had in Ravello, once again it seemed like I was in a romantic movie with the lead man.
He makes everywhere seem glamorous,
I thought.

After our tea, it was six o’clock and Bruno had to go and meet some of the people to do with his father’s hotel business. I was going to get the tube home but he insisted on getting me a cab. When the waiter came over and said that the taxi was waiting for me, Bruno paid the bill (I did offer to contribute but he wouldn’t hear of it and, when I saw the bill, I was relieved because I didn’t have enough money on me or even in my savings box!) and then we went out on to the pavement. He put his arms around me and pulled me close.
‘Bella,
I hope you’ll come over to Italy soon. Make the excuse to see your grandmother.’

‘I’ll do what I can,’ I said. I had totally changed my mind since the morning and thought that maybe I could make a long-distance relationship work after all. What had I to lose? Not Joe and it was still early days with Tyler.

‘And I will come over whenever I can,’ he said. ‘But for now, we are saying goodbye again.’ He hugged me closer and we clung on to each other for a while until the taxi driver beeped his horn.

‘This cab for you, miss?’ he asked.

I nodded. ‘I’d better go,’ I said.

We had a last kiss that was gentle and tender and, when I got into the cab, I felt sad that our day was over. I turned to look out of the back window. Bruno was standing watching and then the cab pulled into the traffic and he was a blur on the pavement, one figure amongst many others. And then he was gone.

As the streets of London flashed past me, I thought back over my amazing week. Three boys, three perfect dates. Whatever next?

The next two weeks were frantic with end of term coursework and completing the designs for the school show. Every spare moment was taken up with revision, painting scenery, meetings and rehearsals. In the meantime, Tyler sent a lovely postcard with a scene from the film
It’s a Wonderful Life
on the front. On the back, he wrote,
Thinking of you
.

Bruno sent a dozen cream roses and a card that said,
Miss you, my bella India
.

Joe sent nothing, but he gave me a cheeky grin when I saw him in the corridor on the way to a rehearsal meeting.

‘Been caught in any rainstorms lately?’ he asked when he caught up with me.

‘Not me.You?’

‘Nothing like the one on Tuesday,’ he said. ‘That was really something, wasn’t it?’

He looked deep into my eyes when he said that in a way that made my stomach lurch, and I knew what he meant and that he wasn’t talking about the storm.

‘Yes. I’ve never experienced anything like it.’

He raised a knowing eyebrow and grinned his lopsided grin. ‘Me neither,’ he said.

I love him
, I thought as I went into double English where I spent the whole two periods replaying the storm and the kisses in my mind.

In maths, I relived the day I’d spent with Bruno.
I love him too
, I thought.

Finally it was the week of the end of term show and all our plans and hard work seemed to be coming together. I had just got home from school when Tyler phoned. Just hearing his voice made me remember how good I’d felt with him.
I could love him
, I thought.
Definitely maybe
.

And then he asked what I was doing on Friday night.

‘School show,’ I said.

‘Oh the one you told me you’d done the scenery for?’

‘Yes. Well, me and some others.’

‘Can anybody go?’

Yes. It’s open to the public. Money goes towards a new science lab.’

‘Are there tickets left?’

‘Loads.’

‘I’d love to come …’

Erk
, I thought.

‘India.You’ve gone quiet. Oh. Is there a problem?’

Duh, yeah
, I thought. Joe
will be there. How will I explain Tyler to him? Or him to Tyler, especially when I’ve told Tyler that I don’t have a boyfriend? And I still don’t. Not really. Joe’s not my boyfriend. Oh arrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I am sooooooo confused. Why did I have to meet them all at the same time. ANNOYing!

‘India?’Tyler prompted.

‘Oh yes. Um. Oh God. Just I hate people seeing my work in case they don’t like it,’ I blustered. ‘It would be like having a baby and someone saying, “Boy that’s an ugly one!’’’

Tyler laughed.’I’m not going to do that. Art is a reflection of the person who made it so I expect to be impressed. Come on India, don’t hide away. Let me be the judge, hey?’

‘Er …’

‘Is there some other reason that you’re not telling me about why you don’t want me to come?’

Out of the three boys, a relationship with Tyler would be the least complicated
, I thought.
Bruno lives in Italy. Joe doesn’t want a girlfriend. I’d be mad to turn such a lovely guy as Tyler down in the hope that something was going to happen with the other two when it might not come to anything with either of them
.

‘No,’ I blurted. ‘I … No. Come. I’d love it.’

I’ll get him a ticket and deal with the chance of him meeting Joe then
, I thought as a feeling of panic hit my insides.

‘Don’t you feel at all guilty?’ asked Zahrah from the bottom bunk bed where she was doing her eye make-up. We had decided to get ready for the show at her house because, out of our four homes, hers was nearest to school. Brook and I were squeezed on to the stool in front of the dressing table and Leela was behind us brushing her hair.

‘Why should she?’ said Leela as she put away her hairbrush and got out her lip-gloss. ‘It’s not like she’s cheating on any of them.’

I gave up on trying to get any mirror space and I retreated to the end of the bottom bunk bed next to Zahrah. ‘Well,’ I said, ‘that’s what I keep telling myself. That it’s early days with all of them and I haven’t made any promises. However, I do think I need to decide soon and maybe let everyone know where I stand. If I was to carry on seeing them for much longer without telling, I think I’d start to feel like I
was
cheating especially as Tyler’s coming to the show and may meet Joe.’

‘But Joe is still Mr Non-Committal, isn’t he?’ asked Zahrah.

‘Exactly,’ I said. ‘And Tyler hasn’t asked me to be his steady girlfriend either. This will be only be the fourth time I’ve seen him.’

‘OK, so what if all of them did suddenly want something more serious. Who would it be? Bruno, Joe or Tyler?’ asked Zahrah.

I groaned. ‘I don’t know. I thought I really liked Joe best but he comes at a price and that price is spending a lot of time being frustrated with him. And it’s early days with the others. How can I decide when they all have so much to offer?’

‘Well what do
you
want?’ asked Zahrah.

‘I want the way all of them make me feel only with just one boy.’

Leela pulled a notebook out of her bag and ripped off a piece of paper.‘OK. Scores for kissing. Bruno?’