Loose Ends (26 page)
Authors: Electa Rome Parks
I vaguely remember chanting repeatedly. “Oh, yes, there, oh, yes, oh, baby, right there, oh, yes. You the man!”
The entire time Brice was fucking me, I felt like I had to have him inside me or I’d cease to exist. His hands were all over my body, eager and strong, exploring, searching, and making up for lost years. His tongue and mouth savored every touch. When we were finally fulfilled, our massive orgasms came back-to-back with such force and intensity that we collapsed on the floor intertwined, unable to move for a few moments until our erratic breathing calmed down. Amazing.
Brice broke the silence. “Damn, that was awesome. That was unbelievable.” He stroked my face lovingly. He was still inside me. Then he kissed me, hard, and I tasted myself. He smiled and I smiled back.
He pulled out, quietly got up, and I admired his gorgeous body in all its splendor as he strolled to the bathroom. Brice brought back a warm hand towel to wipe me off. He gently picked me up with no effort and carried me to my guest bedroom, where we proceeded to make love again . . . slowly and gently this time.
Right before Brice entered me, he said, “I’ve dreamed of this day for so long. You just don’t know. I never stopped loving you, Mia. Never.” When he looked into my eyes and lowered his mouth to kiss me, I believed him as passion filled me to the brim.
Brice
Okay, I know you think I’m a one hundred percent, heartless D-O-G. If it walks like a dog and acts like a dog, then it must be ... It’s not like that at all. Not by a long shot. Damn, I didn’t go over there with the intention of seducing Mia, my best friend’s wife. My intention was to hang out with my partner for a minute, but as fate would have it, he wasn’t home. After that, things just happened.
No, my dick didn’t just fall into her sweetness. You know what I mean. I know I haven’t been the perfect man. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my lifetime. Haven’t we all? I’m not proud of my actions and feel guilty as hell, but if I had it to do all over again, I would. Yeah, I would. With no hesitation.
For five years, I’d been waiting for that one moment in time. To hold Mia in my arms again. To express my undying love to her. It’s true what they say—a few seconds can make your life. I love Mia, always have, and probably always will. That’s my reality. Her being married to my best friend only complicates things.
What about Kree? I love her too. I do. I know I can’t have it both ways. I can’t have my cake and eat it too. I love Mia and Kree in entirely different ways. It’s hard to explain, to put my feeling into words.
Mia is the woman for whom I’d lay down my life. She owns my heart to which I freely gave her the key years ago.
Kree . . . I love her dearly for her loyalty and her love for me. Kree was there when I needed someone. She has many of the wifely qualities that I’d love for Mia to have. Bottom line, Kree is a good and decent wife. I love her. I just don’t love her with the same feverish passion as I do Mia. Who knows? If Mia had those same qualities, maybe we’d still be together. Life is funny like that.
Every relationship is like a piece of a puzzle that may or may not fit. Some fit better than others, but they don’t complete the puzzle. Then you find another piece that fits, but not in the way the previous one did. So we are constantly searching for the pieces that complete the puzzle. When you find it, you hold on to it.
For the last five days since Mia and I made love, I haven’t been able to eat, sleep or think straight. It’s like I’ve been going around and around in circles. It takes me twice as long to do routine chores. I now realize how in tune Kree is with my emotions. She knows something is up, something is different, but she just doesn’t know what. I’ve stayed away from Mia these last five days because I lied to her—one night wasn’t enough. That one night only made me want her more. That was a teaser. Mia hasn’t attempted to contact me either. I have no idea what’s going through her head. That alone is killing me slowly.
I’ve been brushing off Christian left and right. He has called me a couple of times at work to invite me out to lunch, but I always lie to him and say that I’m too busy and can’t get away. I can’t face him. I know if I see him, guilt will be written all over my face. Believe it or not, I still love him like a brother. I never meant for this to happen. I know I’ve betrayed his trust. Life is funny like that; it has a crazy way of spiraling out of control. Anyway, something is going to have to give. And soon.
So, on the sixth night, I drove to Mia’s place. I knew Christian was working late because I had spoken with him earlier. It was around eight P.M., the time Lyric was usually in bed and fast asleep. I’d convinced Kree that I was going out for a few drinks after I stopped by the office to look over some contracts. I had a few hours during which my whereabouts wouldn’t be questioned if I played my cards right. I figured it was best not to call Mia first, because I didn’t know what her reaction would be if I was headed over.
I parked a block away from their house and walked up the driveway. I didn’t want any nosy neighbors checking out my car. After I rang the doorbell, Mia opened the door on the second ring and immediately pulled me inside the foyer.
“Brice, what are you doing here?” she asked frantically with her arms folded in front of her.
“Calm down, baby! No one saw me, and Christian is going to be at work for a while. Don’t get all stressed out. Is Lyric sleeping?”
Mia nodded as I led her by the elbow into the living room. Based on the green throw lying on the sofa and Mia’s disheveled appearance, I assumed she had been napping.
“Listen, Mia, we need to talk. Talk about the other night.” We sat down together.
“Brice, there’s nothing to talk about. It happened and I hope to God that neither Christian nor Kree ever finds out. What were we thinking? This could hurt a lot of people.”
I looked into her big, beautiful brown eyes and lightly caressed her cheek. She didn’t stop me. That was a good sign.
“I agree, baby. But the other night meant a lot to me. It was beautiful and special and made me realize how much I still care for you.”
Mia looked down at her hands in her lap.
“Mia, say something. Talk to me.” I gently lifted her chin back up.
“I don’t know what to say. I . . . I mean, I thought about you a lot over the years. And we never really had closure,” Mia said nervously as she stared at the far wall and not at me.
“Go on. Keep talking, baby. Get it all out. Let me know what you’re thinking.”
“I love Christian. With all my heart. But the other night, I guess I realized that a part of me had never stopped loving you either. After everything that happened . . .” She looked deep into my eyes. “Brice, what we did was wrong. It never should have happened.”
“All I know is that holding you again made me feel complete. I felt a wholeness I haven’t felt in years.”
Cautiously, we reached for each other, seeking each other’s lips. The kiss started out slowly, then gradually escalated into deep, hot, tongue-searing passion. Fire. Kisses like fire. I held Mia’s face between my hands and kissed her like she held the key to my very existence. I wanted Mia to feel my love for her as I probed my tongue deeper and deeper into her warm, accepting mouth.
“Come here,” I whispered as I pulled her even nearer.
Mia parted her lips again. By now, Mia was softly moaning, and I started a trail of wet kisses down her neck and pulled her T-shirt aside to expose more soft brown skin.
Mia reached under my T-shirt and timidly rubbed my back, up and down, just barely touching me with her fingernails. I had managed to pull her shirt over her head. She didn’t have on a bra. As I sucked and licked her breasts, Mia leaned back against the sofa with her eyes closed. I pulled off her jeans and panties in one attempt. Her beauty never ceased to amaze me. I admired her body while I slowly undressed myself.
“Mia, look at me. Open your eyes. I need to know this is what you want.”
Mia reluctantly opened her eyes, but she didn’t answer my question or look at me. Her eyes were everywhere but on me.
“Mia, look at me. Look at my body.” She raised her eyes to check me out.
“Now, I need to know, baby.”
Mia attempted to pull me into her embrace as she placed my hand between her open legs. She was moist. I pulled away even though my dick was standing at full alert.
“Mia, we aren’t going to do anything until I hear you say that you want me to make love to you.”
“Don’t make me beg, Brice,” she said playfully with her eyes at half-mast. “You know.”
“No, I don’t. That’s why I’m asking. I’m not kidding, Mia. I need to know that you want this, too. As much as I do,” I said in a serious tone. “Tell me.”
Mia hesitated for a few seconds, looking back down at her hands as if the answer were there. Then she looked back at me with confidence.
“Brice, I need to feel you inside me. Please make love to me so that I can sleep soundly tonight and know that I didn’t imagine the other night. I need to know that this was all worth it.”
With that, we retreated back into our little world where no one got hurt, to where there were no worries or regrets, to where we loved each other endlessly. However, as we would soon learn, that world existed only in our imaginations.
Mia
Brice is like a drug, and I’m addicted! A straight-up drug addict. I’ve had withdrawal symptoms for five years. I know what we’ve done—three times now—is totally wrong. I can’t seem to stop myself; when Brice looks at me or touches me, I lose all control. My brain turns to mush. My body and heart betray me. I crave him, feen for him! I love Christian with everything I have and I know he doesn’t deserve this. Yet I can’t stop. I’m caught up.
I knew this reunion with Brice was a serious mistake. In the back of my mind, I knew I still loved him. Does that make me sick? I mean, the man used to beat the shit out of me. Yet he could make the best love to me, could have me begging for more, and still can. But even with the beatings, I knew he still loved me. I don’t know; Brice and I were like oil and water. He loved me so much, but that love brought out the worst in him. His love came out in ugly ways: jealousy, possessiveness and control.
Five years later, Brice still has this control over my mind and body. When I’m with him, I can’t think straight; he suffocates me, makes me high and makes me do crazy shit. Christian has been off the past few evenings. In fact, he has made sure he has the evenings off—just to please me. Yet I’m so confused that all I do is sleep. When I’m troubled, I sleep my life away. And Christian knows that. He knows something is very wrong. He just doesn’t know what. Thank God.
I feel so guilty, so unworthy of Christian’s love. Always have. Yet, when I think of Brice, my body trembles when it remembers—remembers his touch, his smell, his voice. I haven’t made love to Christian since I’ve been with Brice. I’m afraid that I’ll call out Brice’s name in the heat of passion or that my body won’t respond. There’s no way in hell that I can let Christian find out about this. It would kill him, and he would hate me. I couldn’t live with him hating me. That would kill me.
If I’m really honest with myself, I’ll admit that I’ve always felt unworthy of Christian’s love, that he is too good for me. I came to him as damaged goods. Brice had done such a number on me that it was a wonder that I could love again. But I did. I love Christian so much. That’s why I can’t understand what’s happening. So I sleep and keep everything inside.
I can’t tell Sharon about this. What would she think of me? I’ve told her too many times how much I hate and despise Brice. No, Sharon wouldn’t understand my spreading my legs for him. Mama is out of the question. I mean, you can’t tell your mama that you’re screwing the man who almost ruined your life. So now I sleep to hide from my emotions, from Christian and from myself.
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