Lord of the Black Isle (18 page)

She was completely overwhelmed, both physically and mentally. All she could think about was him and how good it felt to be with him. He made her feel wanted and he had provided a home for her. What more could she ask for? Her arms slipped around his neck and she laid her head against his chest, listening to the wild beating of his heart and feeling too, the kiss he pressed upon the top of her head.

“My lass,” he whispered against her hair, and her stomach knotted with the desire to feel him inside her. She had felt such wild, abandoned desire, and even now that she was sated, she yearned to be with him again, only in the cool, refreshing waters of the burn, with his beautiful, smooth skin slick and glistening as it had been that day when she first saw him as she was running from the MacLeans. She wanted to lie beside him in bed and to feel the luxurious weight of him upon her and the hardness of him as he came into her.

Suddenly, she felt his body harden, and he pulled back. “Someone comes.”

She had not heard a sound, but she did not doubt the years of his knight's training. She pulled away and straightened her clothes and ran her hands through her hair. She was worried what she looked like and feared it would be obvious as to what the two of them were doing.

As if sensing that, he said, “I will deal with it. Give me a little time to speak wi' them, and then ye can leave without anyone being the wiser.” He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. “It is not easy to be wi' ye like this and stop. This is no' over, lass, and we will have our moment, doubt it not,” he said, before he turned away.

She remained where she was, hearing voices but not able to decipher what they were saying. Once the voices died down, she slipped away and turned toward the abbey.

After she arrived at the hospital, she focused her thoughts. She thought it time to make another copy of the ledger, where the friars had set down the dosages and the recipes for mixing the medicines she would find useful, and put it in a safe place, for fires were not uncommon in this time period, according to Isobella.

As she worked, her mind kept drifting back to David, reliving each exquisite moment until she was ready to slap herself, since giving a mental slap to herself had not given her the desired effect. But, nothing seemed to help, for the scene with him seemed to play over and over in her head. She told herself she would keep her mind on preparing the hospital to heal the ill and the infirm, and not upon what it felt like when he touched her.

She thought of Ronan again and smiled, for she knew without a doubt that he was part of her past, and that was where she wanted him to be. She found herself praying that he was also moving on. He was a good man and she could only wish for him the best life had to offer and it was with complete honesty that she understood and accepted with all her heart that she truly wanted him to be happy, and that meant falling in love with his wife and allowing Elisabeth to fade into his past where she belonged.

At that moment, a strange thought crept into her mind. Was it possible? Did she lose Ronan because David was her true destiny? Or should she stop thinking about love and become more nunlike? Perhaps that would solve a lot of problems in her life, for her attempts at romance always ended up with her going full speed into a dead end.

She knew she could be reading things into this that were not there, for there was always the possibility that she wasn't destined to have either of them. And judging from the way her luck had been running of late, that seemed the most likely. However, it was also possible that she was a simpleton for trying to read anything more into it other than she and David were two normal people who desired each other and acted upon it, no strings attached. She frowned at that one. She wasn't a Puritan, but neither was she one to flip her skirts at the first sinuous coil of desire. She decided not to go there but rather to let it lie fallow and think about medicine, which, at the present, seemed a much safer way to go.

That was when the doctor in her kicked in and she chastised herself: Elisabeth, you are an idiot. What you experienced was the highest point of sexual excitement, an ordinary climax characterized by strong feelings of pleasure and consisting of intense muscle tightening around the genital area, experienced as a pleasurable wave of tingling sensations through parts of the body. You did not attain the euphoric transcendent state of overwhelming happiness and miraculous rapture.

Welcome back, Elisabeth R. Douglas, MD.

When written in Chinese, the word “crisis” is

composed of two characters. One represents

danger and the other represents opportunity.

—Speech given April 12, 1959, in Indianapolis, Indiana

John F. Kennedy (1917–1963)

Elisabeth and Ailis spent most of their time in the abbey, but with just the two of them, progress was moving slowly. “Perhaps things will get better,” Ailis said, “for Taran and Aleyn have been quizzing me of late. 'Twould seem their curiosity is soon to get the best o' them, and I would not be surprised to see them poking their heads aboot.”

Elisabeth turned around with a pair of Viking forceps in her hand. “What kind of questions were they asking?”

“They were verra curious and asked me what we had discovered in the old abbey that kept us out here so much. I told them we had no' discovered anything, that we were only cleaning the place, but I didna think they believed me. I have a feeling they will come for a visit and poke their noses in here before long to see what we ha' found to hold our attention.”

Elisabeth laughed. “Perhaps we should pretend to have found a treasure…” She paused and frowned. “Well, maybe that isn't such a good idea after all, for they might want to dig up the abbey floor.”

“They will be here before the week is over, I think.”

Ailis was right. One by one the Murray cousins began to stop by, and Taran and Aleyn, the two youngest, were the first to pay them a visit. Whether out of boredom, curiosity, or a genuine desire to help, Elisabeth did not know, but she and Ailis were elated to see them and welcomed their help. “If you are so led to offer it,” Elisabeth said.

Ailis and Elisabeth were leaning over a table with a drawing of the abbey. So far, they had sketched in the location for the kitchen, the infirmary hall, the laundry, the pharmacy, a storeroom, and a supply room in the tower, as well as places for seven beds along the length of each wall, with four rooms for patients who needed to be isolated.

“We are fortunate this was an abbey, for we already have so many of the rooms, like the kitchen, laundry, and storerooms. True, they all need a little work after being abandoned for so long, but that is so much easier than if it had simply been a chapel.”

Elisabeth's and Ailis's excitement shot like a bolt of electricity into Taran and Aleyn, for they were immediately carried away by the momentum. They had heard Elisabeth and Ailis were going to make the abbey into a hospital, but they never expected that to happen. Only now, after seeing the progress and feeling the surge of excitement coming from Elisabeth and Ailis, they were curious as could be and so totally fascinated with the idea of a hospital that they were quick to volunteer.

Elisabeth and Ailis welcomed their help, and it was a blessing to have help with the heavier chores, which made progress move at a much faster pace. However, Cailean, who came once or twice to see how things progressed, did not show any interest in helping.

“He finds his books more important than being around yer hospital,” Taran said. “Mayhap, Cailean will change his mind afore long.”

“This isn't my hospital,” Elisabeth said. “It is for all the Murrays and any others who need medical attention.”

“Aye, I know that and so does Aleyn.”

“Well, we shall get along without them,” Ailis said.

Work on the hospital progressed well, but Elisabeth was concerned and voiced her concerns to Ailis. “We need to order supplies. I've finished the list and it is fairly long… plants for medicinal purposes, seeds to plant, herbs and exotic spices imported from other countries, opium from China. If I could go to Mull, I'm certain Alysandir Mackinnon would give me the money to purchase what we need.”

Ailis shook her head. “I dinna think David will let ye go. Let me speak to him. If he willna let you go, then mayhap he will give us the money.”

Ailis knew her brother well, for David had no qualms about it; in fact, he went to the abbey to speak with Elisabeth. “I understand you need to order supplies from Edinburgh,” he said.

“Yes, we are close enough now that we should begin to stock the rest of the things we will need. I know this will be a great expense at first, but…”

“'Tis a guid cause and necessary to keep the clan healthy, and also to give succor to the poor.” He began to walk around, as if he were inspecting their progress, so Ailis and Elisabeth joined him, explaining what each of the rooms was for and showing him the drawings they had done.

“I thought we would use this area,” Elisabeth said, indicating the abbey courtyard, “for a garden to grow as many of the herbs as the weather here will allow.”

“Ye have surprised me, Elisabeth, for I didna doubt ye could come up with such a workable plan, and yet ye have exceeded all my expectations.”

“I could not have done it without Ailis,” Elisabeth said, giving Ailis a smile. “And of course Taran and Aleyn are a wonderful addition for they are our strong arms.”

“'Tis a fine hospital all of us will have here. I will send men to visit the abbeys and cathedrals to alert them that there will soon be a hospital at Aisling Castle. Duncan and Branan can make the journey to Edinburgh to acquire yer supplies as soon as they return from Mull.”

As it turned out, they arrived from Mull the next afternoon, and shortly after their arrival, Elisabeth was summoned to David's study. When she entered the room, David leaned back in his chair. “Sit down,” he said. “I suppose ye ken why I sent for ye.”

“Yes, I heard that Duncan and Branan had returned.”

“The Mackinnon vouched for ye and he sent this letter for ye from yer sister.”

Elisabeth was so happy to have a word from Isobella that she forgot all about the fact that David would believe her story now. She reached for the letter and held it to her breast and closed her eyes, as if by doing so, she could absorb each precious word so that it became a part of her. “You cannot imagine what this means to me. I am so thankful you doubted my story, or I would never have had this. Thank you.”

He leaned back a little further, quietly studying her. A shaft of sunlight coming through the mullioned window had fallen upon her, turning the skin exposed above the décolletage of her yellow gown to cream, dusted with gold. His gaze rested upon her throat, then dropped lower to the swell of her breasts. He saw her swallow, and he wondered if she knew he was thinking that he would like to put his lips there upon the warm, pale flesh.

He was feeling mellow after a dram of
uisge
beatha
, and all he was thinking about was how much he wanted to remove every scrap of fabric covering her and to clear his desk with one swipe and lay her upon it. He imagined her thus, and her nearness, her desirability, and the fact that a part of him was responding to the present situation much faster than the rest of him did not help the situation. It also made him miss what she was saying.

She arose to her feet and said, “…So, I suppose I should be getting back to the hospital now.”

He walked around the desk and stopped a few feet from her, debating whether he should see her on her way, or tear her clothes off and make love to her on the desk he had mentally cleared a few seconds before. For a moment, he felt as if time had frozen, for she looked at him with a questioning expression that remained in place, almost making him think she was waiting to see if he was going to make a move toward her or stand there like a simpleton.

He couldn't decide what he wanted to do, touch her or have her touch him, for both held a great deal of appeal at the moment. He felt as though he was treading on a thawing burn that was liable to give way beneath his feet at any moment. She was on his mind constantly, and he was consumed by the aching need to answer the question he had wondered about since that day she came upon him bathing in the burn and which was greatly intensified by her reaction to him in the kennel. Now the question looming was: What it would be like to make love to her, knowing she wanted him as much as he wanted her?

He saw her eyes widen, as if he had spoken aloud about all the things he had been thinking about, but he knew that was impossible. So, to break the line of his thinking, he said, “I will give Duncan and Branan a day to rest from their trip to Mull. They will leave day after tomorrow, and perhaps Cailean could accompany them.”

A look of joy sprang across her face, that she gave a little yelp of pure elation, and the next thing he knew, she threw her arms around his neck and said, “Thank you, David… thank you… thank you…”

And then she completely surprised him when she came up on her toes, and placing her hands on each side of his face, she planted a kiss upon his mouth that had enough heat to fire up Vulcan's forge.

She must have realized at that point just what had happened, and she broke away from him and, backing up, she said, “I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me.”

“Elisabeth…”

“I just wanted to let you know how much it meant to me…”

“Elisabeth…”

“To have you say Duncan and Branan would go to Edinburgh, and…”

“Elisabeth…”

“For the life of me, I don't know what is going on with me. I've been acting quite strangely of late and saying and doing things I normally would never say or do. My life seems to be topsy-turvy and spinning like a top, and I'm trying to hang on, but it isn't looking so good. And worst of all, I think I'm starting to act like Izzy.”

“Elisabeth…”

“I think I need to go now,” she said, backing away.

Before she could turn away, David took over. He took her in his arms and held her close, while she babbled and got his shirt damp. He carried her to his big leather chair and sat down, cradling her close, until she sighed and twined her arms around his neck. He wasn't about to let her go to sleep now, and his hand began to tug at her skirts until he touched her leg, and he followed it upward until he heard her gasp.

She made a move to get up, but he held her fast. “Ye feel too good where ye are,” he said, and he covered her mouth with a kiss when she opened it to respond.

“We can talk later,” he said, and kissed her again… longer and deeper this time until she began to breathe rapidly and his hand began to move and he found the place he searched for.

“We can't… not here. Someone might come in.”

“They wouldna dare.”

She started to say something but he found a way to make her gasp instead. He gazed down at her enraptured face, and he felt an uncontrollable, irrational need to bend her to his will and make her respond, yet never giving her what she wanted, for he would bring her to the brink, then leave her wanting while he kissed her in every place he could reach, and then he would touch her again. And each time she responded much faster than the time before, until the last time, he barely touched her at all, and she was so mindless with wanting him that she cried out the moment his hand made contact, and she dug her fingernails into his back.

Breathless now, she dropped her head on his shoulder and bit his ear.

He drew back to look at her. “What was that for?”

“Torture,” she said. “Pure, excruciating physical and mental torture.”

“And here I thought you enjoyed it.”

“I did,” she said, kissing his neck. “So much I cannot wait until next time.”

He drew his head back and stared down at her lovely face, more lovely now with the blush of pleasure upon it. Then, with a smile, his hand slipped beneath her skirts and slipped over her velvety skin until he found the place he sought.

“I didn't mean now,” she whispered breathlessly.

He moved his hand against her. “Are ye sure?”

Later, she lay quiet and limp in his arms for some time, then stirred and started to get up, but he held her fast. “Not yet,” he whispered against her hair. “Let me hold ye a little while longer.”

“Why?” she asked, her fingers playing with the gold Murray crest ring on his finger.

“Because it may be a while before I have the chance to hold ye again. You seem to be spending more time in the abbey of late than ye do here.”

She smiled and put her arms around his neck. “I did not realize you were in need of attention.”

“Och! I am, but only from ye, lass. Ye ken I was beginning to wonder if ye would ever realize that.”

She kissed his cheek. “Worry no longer,” she said, nipping her way around his ear and neck.

“Come to bed with me,” he said, hoarsely, and she burst out laughing.

Anger surged through him, for she had played him for the fool, leading him on and then coldly rejecting him. He opened his mouth to tell her what he thought of a woman like that, when he heard her whisper.

“It's not what you think, Lord Kinloss. Look…” She started laughing again.

“Wha…”

“The window,” she whispered. “Look at the window.”

He turned his head and saw the peacock sitting on the ledge, with his head bobbing right and left, up and down as he looked in the window. David was about to say something when he felt the tremors ripple over her body as she said, “A peeping peacock,” just before she exploded with laughter.

He laughed with her, but in truth, he received more pleasure from listening to her. He kissed the top of her head and held her steadfastly, cherishing the moment and absorbing the beautiful sound of her laughter. He knew the moment had to end, but he was reluctant to let her go, for it was perfect… almost too perfect, and he feared this moment might never come again.

***

Two weeks later, Ailis and Elisabeth were in the hospital. It was midafternoon and they were in a celebratory mood, for Duncan and Branan had arrived with the supplies two days ago, and now everything had been unpacked and put away. For the past two hours, they had been arranging flowers and placing them throughout Aisling Hospital, for the abbot at Fortrose Cathedral was coming the next day to bless it.