Losing Control (10 page)

“No. It’s okay, Ethan.” She went into the bathroom. I was devastated.

I put some clothes on and sat on the edge of the bed.
What could I do, what could I say to make her see? I don’t want her to leave. I don’t want to be separated from her.

She came out of the bathroom. “Gia—” I started, but she stopped me.

“Ethan, all I want to do is get some sleep. I can’t even think straight right now. I’m physically and emotionally drained. I’m fine, you didn’t hurt me. Please take me to the motor home, please.” She stared down at the floor. She looked scared, hurt and ashamed. I wanted so badly to hold her and take it all away. Why wouldn’t she let me? But I had to do as she asked. Maybe after she got some sleep, she would.

“All right, Gia.” And I took her to the campground.

When we got there, I told her I still wanted to take her out and watch the concert with her. She didn’t look at me or answer me. She just went in and shut me out.

I couldn’t bear the thought of going back home and reliving the past hour, so I drove around for a while. I drove up to Sunset and parked, but didn’t get out and walk up the hill. I reached in the glove box and got a smoke. What had happened to Gia that made her think she was unworthy of love? For the hundredth time, I went back to the first time I saw her—she was such an inspiration to me. And I recalled every other time I’d seen her after that. She inspired me every time, even when I could see the light that had always surrounded her was gone, because I knew she was special and she would shine again. And she did.

I knew that I couldn’t give up on her. I knew that I didn’t want to ‘move the fuck on,’ as Trey had put it. When she and I looked into each other’s eyes, it was like no one else or nothing else existed, we got lost. I felt it and I knew she felt it too.

I headed back to the house. I had to get some sleep too. I had to be able to think of a way to get Gia to see me again.

I sent Trey a text when I got home.

Could u take 4 vip passes to the

girls, they r in 69. Try to get a

read on Gia, I’m not sure she

wants to go with me. C u at the

a.m. meeting. Thanx

I wanted to send Gia a text to get ahold of me when she got up later, but we hadn’t even exchanged numbers.
That was stupid, she couldn’t even call me if she wanted to
. At least she knew where I lived, that gave me a little comfort. I got into bed. It was still damp from our wet showered bodies. I could still smell Gia, she had such a captivating scent.

I dreamt about Hotness, as I had so many times before. She was at a concert with her friends and they were singing and dancing and having a great time. I was watching her, walking toward her, trying to figure out what I was going to say to her when I reached her, we hadn’t met yet. She was full of life, confident, beautiful, and sexy. As she looked around her, everyone lit up, they all wanted to be a part of her universe, as did I. I kept walking and walking, but I wasn’t getting any closer, so I started running, as fast as I could. Still, I wasn’t getting any closer, she saw me and waved. She kept looking at me, smiling, waving me over, but I couldn’t get to her. I was getting exhausted. She looked confused. She didn’t know why I wouldn’t come to her. I was trying, I was screaming for her to come to me, but she didn’t know what I was saying, she couldn’t hear me. I woke up in a cold sweat. My cell was ringing.

Chapter 11

Gia

We headed for the shuttle. It was already 2:00 p.m., so we missed the first concert. Since I hadn’t gotten to bed until 6:30 this morning, I slept until noon, and the other girls hadn’t been up too long before that. Our plan was to get in the gate, eat some lunch, and then drink and watch the concerts for the rest of the day and night. My butterflies were back!

When we walked into the gate, I smelled the food and heard the music and I felt alive. We headed over to one of the bars first. I ordered four shots and four beers. We did the shots and grabbed the beers and headed over and got our food. We grabbed a picnic table and ate in record time so we could really start partying.

“Ready, ladies?” Dana said, holding up her beer.

“Ready!” We said, and we headed into the arena.

The second band of the day was playing and they were really good. We found some fun guys almost immediately, probably because we were dressed like hookers, but so were half the other girls there, and we danced and let loose. I was feeling really tall and leggy in my thigh-highs and my confidence was way up there. The guy I was dancing with was totally hot. He was laughing and having a good time.

“My name is Josh,” he hollered.

I leaned in to him. “I’m Gia.”

“You smell amazing, Gia,” He said right in my ear. It gave me goose bumps.

“Let’s go!” Jo said. She grabbed me, looking totally pissed off.

“Bye, Josh!” I yelled back to him. He put his hands up in frustration. It made me laugh.

“What a bunch of assholes,” Jo said. “Do you know what that guy said to me?”

“No, what?”

Jo stopped and Dana and Brittany caught up. “He said, ‘You remind me of a girl I used to date from a Catholic school. She had a little uniform like that, she liked to hold my head under her skirt until she came. Do you like to do that, too?’ I mean, who says shit like that? What a fucking psycho!” The rest of us looked at each other, trying not to laugh because Jo was really offended.

I couldn’t help myself. “Well,
do you
like to do that, you bad, bad girl?” We all busted a gut—well, everyone but Jo.

“I’m sorry, Jo,” I said, trying to be serious. “You know some guys can be like that, and when you add alcohol and put a hot girl in front of them, they can’t control themselves. Now, which one was he? He sounds like my kind of date for tonight!” Even Jo cracked a smile at that one. But I did look back to see what he looked like.

“My turn to buy,” Brittany hollered from the nearest bar. We all headed her way. When she pulled her money out, her VIP pass fell on the ground. She picked it up and set it on the bar while she was fiddling with the change.

“You don’t wanna lose that!” the half naked girl behind the bar said. “Quite a coveted item around here—we don’t even have that kind of access.”

We were confused. “What kind of access?” Dana asked, and we all leaned in to hear the answer like it was the Da Vinci code or something.

“Meeting the bands,” she said really slowly as she scanned each of our faces.

“Meeting the bands! Are you shitting me right now?” Brittany screamed.

We all looked at each other, eyes and mouths wide open. “Shit, Gia, Ethan really hooked us up!” Dana said.

“Oh, you guys know Ethan? He’s a total sweetheart, isn’t he?” the girl said.

“Hell yes, he is!” Brittany said, even though she’d never even met him.

“Thanks,” I told the girl and walked away. The girls followed.

“You don’t seem very happy, Gia,” Jo said. “What really happened between you and this Ethan last night?”

“I told you, a lady never tells,” I said with a half-smile. “Besides, we have some people to meet!”

We walked over to the ticket booth and asked the girl where the VIP area was and she pointed. We all turned and looked. ‘VIP Entrance’ was blazoned across a huge banner.

“Are we drunk, or did that just appear out of nowhere?” Dana said. I shook my head and smiled as we headed that way.

Wait a minute. If the girl at the bar said they don’t even get this kind of access, why was Ethan able to get it for the four of us?
Then the way she said, ‘He’s a total sweetheart, isn’t he,’ irritated the shit out of me, but I didn’t know why.

***

We all put our VIP passes around our necks and the guy waved us through.
Holy Rock Stars,
this is unbelievable.
We grabbed champagne off the table and started to mingle with the party. There were half-dressed girls, like us, everywhere. There were half-dressed dudes everywhere, too—that was kinda weird. A lot of them had their shirts off, some had no shoes on, and some had the top button or two of their jeans undone.
Was this a big orgy or what?
I guessed maybe that was the way rock stars hung out in the VIP bar.

“This is un-fucking-believable, Gia,” Dana whispered to me, “There’s the lead singer of Tesla over there and that dude is the drummer in Ratt!” She was star struck.

“I know, its mind blowing,” I said, “and I hate to ruin the mood, but I’ve got to pee.”

“Okay, sweetie, I’m with ya,” Dana said as we grabbed the other two and headed to the bathrooms, which were unisex and in a separate little area just off the room everyone was dancing in.

When we got over there, one girl was waiting in front of us. “Thank goodness there isn’t a line,” I said, “I’m full!” Then we heard something. It was coming from the first door.

“Oh, yeah, that’s right, right there, baby.” We all looked at each other with big eyes.

“You like that, do ya?” And bang!—up against the door. We all jumped.

Bang, bang, bang against the door. I thought it was gonna come down. And “oh, oh, oh” with every bang.

The girl in front of us turned. “They’ve been at it for awhile now, but the other stalls should be free in a sec.” So nonchalantly. And right after she said it, a stall door opened and the Whitesnake guy came out!

The girl in front of us hurried in the stall and the four of us just stared. “Damn, you ladies are lookin’ hot tonight!” he said with a smile.

Bang! Bang! “Oh, yeah, ohhhhh.”

He walked over to it and knocked. “Giddy up, buddy—we’re on in 15!” Then he turned to us again. “Enjoy the show, ladies.” He winked and was gone.

We were speechless. The next stall opened and I got to it before the other gal was even out. “Sorry,” I said. She just smiled.

I think the guy in the first stall was as relieved as I was. “Ahhh,” he said and the banging stopped.

As I stepped out of my stall, they stumbled out of theirs. The gal was adjusting her clothes and hair and the dude was smiling from ear to ear.
This is some crazy shit
.

I washed my hands, checked my makeup and hair, and was waiting for the girls to come out, and there he was, out of the blue, right in front of me. Ethan.

“Hey, Hotness,” he said quietly. “You look amazing.” Our eyes locked. I was glad I had just checked myself.

“Hi, Ethan,” I said, also quietly. “Thank you for the VIP passes.” I looked down, still embarrassed about earlier.

Dana came out of the stall. “Ethan!” He looked at her. She ran up and gave him a hug. “Thank you so much for the passes, this is awesome!” He smiled.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you’re having fun,” he said.

Jo and Brittany, who were sharing a stall, came out. “Ethan, this is Jo, and this is Brittany,” Dana said. “You guys, this is Ethan.”

They all hugged him and went on and on about how great the VIP was, and blah, blah, blah. I walked out. I needed a drink, bad.

***

I went back into the crowded room and grabbed another glass of champagne. I gulped it down in three swallows. I was about to grab another when this guy came up to me and said, “Let me get that for you.” He hovered over the bar for a moment.

“Here, this one is special, just for you.” I took a sip this time.

It tasted the same as the other one, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. “Mmm, delicious.”

“Hi, I’m Rick.” He held out his hand.

“Yes, I know who you are,” I said and grabbed his hand. He was in the band that we’d missed earlier. “I’m Gia. Let’s dance.”

We started dancing, kinda slow, even though the song was more upbeat. I was trying to forget about Ethan, but I wanted him to see me with Rick when he came out. I wanted him to know that even though he couldn’t get lost in the moment and fuck me like I was the sexiest woman he’d ever seen, someone else could. “Gia is a very beautiful name,” Rick said. “A beautiful name for a beautiful lady.”

“Thank you,” I said and put my arms on his shoulders and leaned into him, as I felt very relaxed all of a sudden.

“You’re welcome,” he said and pulled me tight. We were moving to the rhythm in perfect unison. I had never realized I could dance that good. Rick slid his leg between mine and I could feel a little pressure when he moved me a certain way.
Nice move, Rick
. I felt like I was floating but Rick had one arm around my waist and I was sure that was holding me down. My arms were still on his shoulders and I was holding my champagne with one hand, so I ran my fingers through his hair with the other. It felt weird, but good, I guess. My hand was tingling, in fact half of my body was tingling.
This must be some top shelf shit
. I took another sip of the champagne. We were very cozy and the way we were dirty dancing was really starting to turn me on. I was feeling the alcohol for sure and he looked like he was, too.

“You are very sexy, Gia,” he whispered in my ear. Then he started kissing my neck. I closed my eyes and imagined he was Ethan. It felt really good. He moved his hand down and caressed my leg between where the boot ended and the mini began.

“Ethan,” I whispered.

“Gia,” I heard from a distance and I ignored it. “Gia!” Right in my ear, so I couldn’t ignore it. I opened my eyes and Dana was looking at me in disbelief. “What are you doing?”

“I know, isn’t it crazy? Do you know who this is?” I said and looked at Rick. I was in an alcohol daze, smiling drunkenly.

“Yes, Gia, I know who it is, that’s not what I meant. Sorry, Rick, Gia has to go bye-bye now. Go find another girl to take advantage of.” I was pulled away from his body. “Gia, look at me.” She slapped me across the face. “What the hell did you take?” I didn’t know what she was talking about. The room started spinning.