Losing Control (7 page)

“Shhh! Dana, not so loud, I know all this,” I whispered. “Believe me, I know, and I’m going to go for it, but you know what happened with Jason when it came down to it—I couldn’t, so who knows? I’ll probably screw this up, too, but yes, I’m going to try to ‘take it,’ as you put it.” I took a deep breath, looked in the mirror, sprayed some breath freshener in my mouth, and told myself, “You go, girl.” We both giggled like little school girls.

I texted Jo before we came out of the bathroom. I was hoping they had just passed out when they got back to the motor home so she wasn’t worrying about us.

Dana plopped down on the couch next to Trey, who was flipping through the channels on the TV. I went over to the kitchen area. “Hey, good-lookin’, watcha got cookin’?” I couldn’t help myself, it was the first thing I thought of when I saw him in front of the stove.

Ethan smiled. “Hey, Hotness, grab yourself a drink out of the fridge and keep me company.” Hotness? Oh, I liked that. I opened the fridge
. Man, this guy takes care of himself, all healthy stuff, stuff I’ve never even heard of.
I grabbed a bottle of water and walked over to the stove right next to him.

“Smells delicious,” I said as I closed my eyes and took a big whiff. When I opened them, Ethan was staring at me.

“You know, you
really do
have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. I could get lost in them, they pull me in.” We stared at each other for awhile longer. I wanted to kiss him, to touch him, to do things to him I’d only fantasized about. And I wanted to let him do things to me that I believed were against the law in some states. Then I smelled something.

“You’re burning my breakfast,” I said without unlocking my eyes from his. It took him a second, but he had to look away and grab the pan off the burner. Then he turned right back to me, put his hands on my waist and lifted me up so I was sitting on the counter. He dropped his hands down to my knees, spread my legs apart, pulled me to him and brought his lips to mine. Our mouths opened hungrily as I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders, our tongues met, and I moaned. He was a fantastic kisser, his mouth was strong and fit perfectly onto mine. Ethan put his hands on my face, he pulled his head back and our eyes locked. He brushed his thumbs against my cheeks. He was so sexy and the way he looked at me was unlike anyone had ever looked at me before. It was an aphrodisiac and it made me feel like
I
was the sexy, desirable one, like
I
was the only woman he had ever wanted. The feeling was mutual, it was undeniable, and there was no turning back.

“If we didn’t have company, I would be tempted to take you right here, right now, you are so captivating, Gia. I would’ve never believed I could have this kind of yearning for someone I’ve just met, but I can’t deny it, you’re exquisite.”
Wow, no one had ever said anything like that to me before.

“This is your place, kick the company out!” I had to say something to lighten the mood otherwise I was afraid of what I might do in front of Dana and Trey. Why couldn’t he have had a separate bedroom? We sighed and he kissed me on the forehead before returning to his cooking.

“Can I do something to help?” I asked.

“Just tell me about yourself,” he said.
Crap, really?

“Okay, not much to tell. I work at a law firm in the city, I live a few blocks away from there in a small but decent apartment. I’ve been divorced for almost two years now. I spend most of my free time listening to music or reading. Dana is my best friend, and if I go out anywhere, I’m usually either with her or my younger sister, who I’m pretty close to. I go to my parents’ house every other Sunday for dinner, and that’s it.”

***

Ethan

Wow, she didn’t want me to know much about her. Maybe I was expecting a lot, it was just that I had been wondering for so long. I walked over to her and kissed her on the forehead, hoping she’d see I sincerely wanted to get to know her. “Okay, now I know what you do, but what I meant was who you are.”

“I’m Gia Stone, and I—I don’t know what you want to know.” She seemed confused, I felt bad I had pushed her.
She just met me, why would she want to tell me anything?
I knew I had more time with her to find out since she had agreed to go to dinner and the concert with me later. When she’d said ‘it’s a, um, date’ I knew it was just something people said when they made plans, but I was sure glad she did because it opened the door for me to turn it into dinner. And as far as watching the concert together, if she would have said she had two hundred friends with her I would have spent the next ten hours adding on to the VIP section so she would be there, with me. I couldn’t screw this up now.

“I want to know who you are, what makes you tick, what you like, what you don’t… I want to know everything, Gia Stone, and I have a feeling it’s going to be really fun finding out!” I had to let her off the hook before I scared her off. At least she knew I wasn’t just trying to get in her pants. I lifted her off the counter. “Time to eat,” I said and kissed her soft lips.

We had a good conversation as we all ate together. Trey and Dana had a lot in common. I felt like I knew more about her than I knew about Gia at that point. It didn’t matter, we couldn’t stop staring at each other and there was plenty of time to get to know each other tomorrow. But I didn’t want to wait, I didn’t want to let her out of my sight.
What if she canceled on me tomorrow and went back to the city and I never saw her again?
There was no way I was going to let that happen.

Gia and I went out to have a smoke while Trey and Dana cleaned up breakfast.

“I didn’t take you for a smoker,” Gia told me.

“I’m an occasional smoker,” I admitted.

“Same here. When I’m drinking and occasionally if I’ve had a shit day,” she said. “You seem to take such good care of yourself, I’m surprised you have the habit.”

“It’s my vice, I try to keep it to a minimum. Although I do enjoy it on occasion, like now, with you, it’s relaxing.” I sat down next to her. I’d love to sit with her and watch the sun come up, maybe she’d come to Sunset with me.

“Would you like to stay with me for awhile longer? There’s something I’d like to show you.”
Just trust me and say yes
.

Gia thought for a bit. “I’d love to see it, whatever it is,” she finally answered. I was so relieved that I’d bought more time with her.

Dana and Trey joined us outside. Dana looked exhausted. “Dana, are you ready for bed?” Gia asked. Dana nodded.

“I’ll take Dana back to camp,” I told Trey. “Then I’m gonna take Gia up to Sunset—you’d better get some sleep, we have a big day tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow night for the big show. Get some rest ‘cause you’re gonna need it!” Trey said to Dana as he gave her a bear hug. She leaned into him and it looked like she fell asleep for a moment. Trey laughed. “Sweet dreams, Dana.” He secretly gave me thumbs up, said good-night, and headed to his place next door.

***

I helped the girls into the truck and headed to the campground. “What site are you in?” I asked them.

“Sixty-nine,” Gia said. I think she was smiling.

“I could’ve guessed,” I told them. “Marcus always puts the hottest girls in that spot, he must have a crush on one of you.”

“Who’s Marcus?” Gia asked, sounding a little concerned.

“Marcus is head of the campground, he must’ve checked you girls in. He had a fling with a woman in lot sixty-nine a few years ago, we all think it was his first. He was fresh out of high school, cleaning bathrooms and shower houses. She was older, called him over to take a look at her air conditioner, and boom, a new
Penthouse Forum
story was born. Don’t worry about him, he’s harmless, pretty shy, goes to college and works here during the summer. I think sometimes he wished he was still out there scrubbing toilets and doing maintenance.” I chuckled as I recalled the story.

Gia asked how long I’d worked here. I forgot she thought I was a barback or something.

“Nineteen years,” I answered. It sounded so long.

“Thanks for the breakfast and for the ride, Ethan. Take care of my girl,” Dana said as I pulled up to their motor home. “Be safe, Gia,” she added, and then we watched until she went in.

“She seems like a good friend,” I told Gia. I was glad she had someone like her. It reminded me of my relationship with Trey.

“She’s
the best
friend. She’s got my back, always, and I’ve got hers,” Gia said. “Now, where are you taking me? What’s ‘Sunset’?”

“Patience, Hotness, patience,” I told her as we started the short drive I’d taken hundreds of times over the years. I’d gone up there and watched the sun go down countless times. I’d sat up there and thought about Hotness. I dreamed I’d take her there someday and now that day was here. I’d only watched the sun come up from that spot a couple other times, so it was a little different heading up there in the dark.

When we got there, I grabbed my blanket from behind the seat, kissed Gia on the forehead, and pointed. “That’s Sunset.” She looked a little concerned.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. I hoped she didn’t think I was going to take advantage of her or something and push her off the edge.

“My feet are throbbing already,” she said, apologizing.
Poor thing, I should’ve thought of that.

“No problem, I’ll give you a piggy-back.” And I was happy to do it. I slouched down, helped her up, and with a huge smile on my face, headed up the hill.

I spread out the blanket beside the big tree and as soon as we sat, I took Gia’s feet, slid off those boots with four inch heels—no wonder her feet hurt—and started massaging them. Gia relaxed and started taking in the view. I loved watching her experience it. I could tell she was impressed.

“How’s that?” I asked her.

“The view or the foot massage?” I had forgotten about the massage because I was so into watching her in all her beauty see one of my favorite things for the first time.

“Both,” I said, grinning from ear to ear.

“Heavenly.” She lay back on the blanket and looked up at the sky. “Ahhh.” I wanted to lay down beside her.

As I did, I took her hand and she turned and snuggled into me. Nothing could’ve felt better… her body against mine, laying on a blanket on a hill with a view that had brought tears to my eyes. I pulled her hand up to my face. I was going to kiss it, but instead I took her middle finger and put it in my mouth. I closed my lips around it, sucked, and pulled it out. I did it again. I don’t know why I did it at that moment, but Gia seemed to like it. I didn’t want to seduce her up here tonight, that wasn’t my intention. I turned to face her, our eyes locked. I traced her face with my finger… I think she wanted more.

“Gia, I’ve waited for you for so long…” She had no idea. “I don’t want to go too fast. I don’t want to scare you or hurt you… please, tell me what you want.” I was surprised at her reaction, she looked wounded. She looked away from me.
No!

“Gia? What are you thinking? Tell me, please,” I begged her.
What had I said?

“What happened to the Ethan who had me up on the counter an hour ago and was wanting to take me, right there, right then? Don’t you want me like that now?” I was confused for a second.
Wait, what was she asking? Of course I wanted her, is that what she was worried about? Is that all she wants from me? No! She isn’t like that, I know she isn’t.
When she looked at me, I could feel it. I knew what it felt like to be wanted by a woman for my looks or my body or because they thought I had a big bank account. They slept with me a few times, found out I was just a regular guy and I owed the bank a pile on this place, and I never saw them again. But no one had ever looked at me the way Gia had, and she thought I was a barback, for crying out loud. She was kind and loving, funny and giving. I
knew
this, I
felt
this. I had to fix this!

“Of course I want you, Gia. I’m sorry. Things got pretty heated back there. Kissing you for the first time made me horny as hell, but I don’t want you to think that’s all I want from you. I want more from you—I want to get to know you. You’re so much more than a pretty face and a piece of ass.” She had to see that!

She sat up. “I want to go back to the motor home.” My heart sank. “Would you take me, please?” She was putting her boots on and crying.
What had I done? How could I have hurt her like this when she was the only woman I’d ever tried so hard not to?

“No, Gia… please, don’t do this. Don’t cry. What’s wrong?” I couldn’t figure her out. She was crying harder now. I couldn’t stand the fact that I had done this to her. I took her onto my lap and into my arms. I held her tight and rocked her, not saying anything, just letting her be. I wanted to ask her so many more questions, but as long as she was allowing me to comfort her, I would sit in silence forever.

“I’m not a whore,” Gia said out of the blue.
What?
“It’s just been a really long time and I am unbelievably physically attracted to you. You’re like an aphrodisiac every time you look at me, and then you say and do things that make me squirm and give me butterflies, and I’m sorry… I wasn’t expecting to meet someone who wants to know who I am, what makes me tick, likes, dislikes and all that.
I’m
not even sure who I am. I just don’t want you to think I’m a whore.”
Thank Goodness!
She had opened up, just enough to give me a glimpse of herself. I would settle for a glimpse, for now. At least I knew how she felt when I looked at her and how I gave her butterflies. She wanted and needed sex, but she was having unexpected feelings and that was confusing her. I had to show her she could have it all.

***

Gia

Ethan scooted me forward a little so he could turn my face to his. “Gia, I
know
you’re not a whore. I’ve been unfair to you, teasing you. I didn’t mean to do that. I hadn’t even realized I was doing it. You are an aphrodisiac for me, too, and I acted on it. When I brought you up here, I was hoping to watch the sun come up with you in my arms. I’ve always wanted to share this with someone. Then, when I thought things might get physical, I got scared, because like I said, I don’t want to lose you right when I’m so close to getting to know you. I would like to help you find yourself. You don’t want to open up to me yet, but eventually I want to gain your trust and show you it’s okay. Gia, stay with me a little longer.”