Losing Nuka (Litmus Book 1) (29 page)

Ah, the dependable audience that we cater for, always up for a bit of male chauvinistic behaviour; their screams are deafening.

I join him at his side, electricity running through my fingertips as they meet his on the microphone. I’m
really
struggling to keep my distance right now.

“I thought this was Wild Card night. Can’t really have a Litmus fighter volunteering, right?” I say.

“I’m pretty sure the crowd doesn’t mind,” he says, sending the audience into even more of a frenzy. “Besides, when I left, I broke my contract. Technically, I’m not a Litmus fighter anymore. You’re just scared I’ll win.”

I raise my eyebrows. “You’re going to wish you stayed away.”

I take to my corner, crossing my arms as I do, faking confidence that just isn’t there right now.

Felix takes the microphone as Brett strips off his shirt.

Don’t look at his abs, don’t look at his abs. Shit! I looked at his abs.

“We’ll give a few moments for you all to finalise your bets. Will Brawn win his girl back, or will Heatwave stand her ground?”

Brett doesn’t take his eyes off me and smirks every time I break my gaze with him. I’m scared if I continue to stare at him, I won’t be able to hold back. My body is itching to be next to his.

The buzzer for round one seems to take an hour to go off, but when it finally does, Brett doesn’t hold back on me.

He advances swiftly and without hesitation. Starting with a few simple jabs, they become quicker and more frequent as I block each one, eventually morphing from closed-hand punches to open-handed strikes.

“Put on a good show, baby,” he says, taunting me as he doesn’t let up, his hands moving faster than my eyes can keep up with. Somehow my arms manage to keep blocking him.

“If I do that, will you tell me what the hell you’re doing here?” I ask, managing to throw my first hit—a solid punch straight to his gut. I turn 180 degrees, sending a knife-hand strike to his ribs with one hand and then attempt a palm strike to the side of his head with the other, but he’s too quick. My knife-hand strike hits him, but he dodges my palm.

He straightens up and attempts to send a jab and then a right hook into my jaw, but I dodge and duck, punching him in the ribs under his arm. He swings with his other fist which makes me duck again, but I spin and elbow him in the same spot I just hit.

He lets out a little grunt. “I came back for you. I shouldn’t have left in the first place.”

“But Paddy,” I say, throwing another fist at him which he blocks.

“He’s safe, I promise, but you can’t tell anyone that. Official story is Shane found us and killed him.”

“Huh?”

I go to knee him in the ribs, but he grabs a hold of my thigh, pulls me forward, and pins me to him.

“I can’t explain here.” He brings his other hand up to my face, caressing my cheek. The crowd screams, and I mentally beg for him to kiss me, but I know that’s not allowed. Not yet.

I push him off me and stumble back a few feet. He tries to advance again, but I turn on my side and extend my leg, kicking him in the chest. As his feet falter and he takes the time to correct his balance, I pivot on my left foot and send a roundhouse kick to the side of his head.

He recovers quickly but not before I get the chance to shuffle back so I’m at the edge of the arena. He cocks his head in my direction, confused as to what I’m doing, and that’s when I run for him.

My left foot meets his abs, and he does what I’m anticipating—he grabs hold of my ankle. Using the momentum from charging at him, and him holding me as an anchor, I lift my other foot, kicking him in the jaw as I do a backflip in the air, forcing him to let go of my left ankle. It all happens in a quick, swift move, but it feels like I move in slow motion.

The buzzer dings, signalling the end of round one, just as I land my feet back on the ground. It’s not graceful, and I have to crouch down to keep balance, but it doesn’t stop the smirk from finding my face. I’m sweaty, panting, and out of breath.

I stand straighter. “Ryker and I have been experimenting with my feet, seeing as I couldn’t fight with my hands for a few weeks.”

His stunned expression as he rubs his jaw makes me smile even wider.

“Pretty safe to say you’re fired as my trainer.”

“I want you so friggin’ bad right now,” he says before taking to his corner for our break.

His words send a tingling to my stomach that I hope never leaves. I don’t think I can make it another round without kissing him.

Felix jumps back in the ring, spouting about how amazing the first round was, but I don’t hear it. I’m completely tuned to one thing only—Brett.

When round two begins, I can no longer help myself. It’s been nearly six weeks without him, and now he’s making me hold back when all I want to do is take him in my arms again. I think he feels it too, because he doesn’t attack. We slowly approach each other, and then he lifts me so my legs are wrapped around his waist. His hand gently pushes the hair out of my face before taking my mouth with his.

This is what it’s meant to be like.

He came back for me.

This is my forever.

-24-

A DEAL

When Brett sets me back down on my feet, Felix is on the microphone. “Did anyone see who caved first? They’re back together, so does that mean Brawn won?” He seems genuinely confused as to how they’re going to call the fight. “Perhaps we’ll have to go to the scoring of round one.” He puts his finger to his ear and nods as he’s given information in his little earpiece. “Which goes to
Heatwave
!”

I’m surprised the audience hasn’t passed out or lost their voices by now from all the screaming. Brett raises my hand in victory before a sea of security guards line our path to backstage.

Brett practically drags me away and through the doors. Once we’re out the back and alone, he proceeds to push me against the wall, taking my mouth with his like he owns it. Which, I really don’t care if he does. He can claim ownership of all of me right now, I really won’t mind.

He pulls back, easing off me just a fraction. “I guess we should go face them sooner rather than later.”

“You haven’t seen them yet?” My throat goes dry and my stomach churns.

“I have a plan. You’ll see,” he says, kissing my nose. “But first, I’m thinking we should shower … because of the fight, of course.” He smirks, and I can’t help myself—I start dragging him towards the locker room without hesitation.

We stumble in, and he starts kissing me again, moving us towards the showers. His hands trail down my back, making my need for him intensify. He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of my tights, but before he can start to tug them down, a throat clears behind us.

“You’re back,” Jonas says as Brett and I pull away from each other, startled.

“We were just going to come see you, actually.” Brett takes hold of my hand and grips it tight.

“Mm, looks that way,” he says, his tone dripping with cynicism.

“We thought you left to protect your family,” Cade says.

Brett runs his hand through his hair. “Turns out, I wasn’t quite fit for the job. They got to Paddy anyway.”

“Why did you come back? You had the money to get out,” Cade says.

“They took the money, too.”

He lost my trust fund?

“So you only came back because you had to,” Jonas says.

“The only reason I left was for Paddy. But now he’s gone.” Even though Brett told me Paddy’s safe, him choking on the words makes me worry about where Paddy really is.

“Why shouldn’t we punish you?”

“You’re right, I did the wrong thing. I should’ve come to you first instead of running away, but at the time I thought it was my only option. You won’t want to punish me when you hear what I have to offer. I’m here to make a deal.”

“Oh?”

“I’ll match her contract. Seven years, and ten percent, right?”

“Who told—”

“Ryker. I saw him when I arrived here tonight.”

Okay, I know Brett well enough to know that’s a lie. Plus, I’ve been with Ryker all evening, right up until my fight.
Who really told him?

“We’ll take this act as far as you want us to,” Brett says. “You saw the crowd out there—they love us. And with Nuka and me together, you wouldn’t have to worry about us running off. She’s all I ever want, and I don’t have my family standing in the way anymore.”

I wrap my arm around him and look up into his chocolate eyes. “You’re all I want, too.” Okay, not quite—I still want us all to be out of here.

“Aww, how sweet,” Cade says snidely.

“How are we going to trust you again?” Jonas asks.

“My screwing up had everything to do with my family and nothing to do with Litmus or you. You’ve both been tremendously generous with me over the years, and I’m sorry I panicked and ran—so incredibly sorry. It’s why I’m willing to make it up to you by taking a percentage cut. I want to show you I’m serious about this. Nuka and I have no money and nowhere to go. Pretty simple really, you want to make money, we need a place to sleep and a wage to live on.”

Jonas rubs his jaw in thought. “I’m still going to be hiring a new head of security. We’ve just found someone who seems like he’ll be a good fit, and we can’t exactly trust you now.”

“That’s fair,” Brett says.

“And add a year each, no more security wage, and then we have a deal.”

Cade scoffs, but Brett steps forwards and shakes Jonas’s hand. “Eight years. Done.”

“We’ll let you two get cleaned up, and we’ll see you upstairs for your comeback promotional schmoozing.” Jonas and Cade go to leave, but he turns back at the last second. “Don’t be too long … if you know what I mean.”

Brett starts laughing at me as my face goes as bright as a tomato. When Jonas and Cade leave, Brett wraps his arms around me. “Guess the moment’s kind of passed now,” he says.

“Yeah, finding out we’re stuck here for eight years doesn’t really do it for me. I mean, really?
That’s
your brilliant plan?”

“It’s only the beginning.”

***

We’re welcomed into the corporate box with a round of applause from our investors and sponsors, and any other person Jonas and Cade invited to be schmoozed. Brett refuses to let go of me as we go from person to person and he gives a generic explanation for his whereabouts. “There was a death in my family, and I didn’t handle it well. I needed some time off and didn’t know when or if I was going to return.”

I think everyone was expecting some juicy gossip, but the truth proves to be a good way to shut the conversation down. They’re all sympathetic but move on quickly to topics like who we’re scheduled to be fighting soon and that our fight tonight was amazing to watch, even if it was only one round.

It seems to be true that everyone is unwilling to talk about the real world in here. That’s not what Litmus is about.

After making the rounds, Jonas and Cade tell us to go home. I’m itching for Brett to tell me what’s really going on, but Byron and Logan are driving us home. The car is full as Sasha is also with us, so I have to settle for having Brett’s arm wrapped around me and no answers. For now. It’s a compromise I adjust to easily.

Brett and I don’t even acknowledge Byron and Logan’s goodbyes, or Sasha’s “I’m happy you’re back” remark as she makes her way up the stairs to her own room which she hasn’t been in in weeks. We’re behind the closed door of our bedroom in record time.

“Okay. The truth—now,” I demand.

His lips turn up in the corners of his mouth. “Can’t we just …” he says, stepping forwards, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my lips softly.

I’m determined to stay strong, even though every second his lips are on mine, my determination slowly declines.

Forcing myself to pull away, I give him my best “I’m unimpressed look,” but it only makes him laugh.

“In a few more days, it’ll all make sense. I promise.”

“Why did you come back? Where’s Paddy? What happened to the money? How are we going to get out of here?”

“We’re going to get out of here, I promise. But … it might take a while. The money’s in an untraceable account, Paddy’s safe and staying with a pretty awesome family I recently met, and I came back because I seem to have this habitual compulsion to try to save the people I love.”

This time when he kisses me, I don’t try to stop him. My lips part, eagerly accepting his as he takes me in his arms. A moan escapes me when he pulls me in closer, his hand running down my back, gripping my hip with just enough force to make me groan embarrassingly.

When we come up for air, I’m completely breathless.

“I love you, Nuke.”

No, now I’m completely breathless.
“I love you too.”

-25-

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

Brett’s arm drapes over me, his hand resting on my bare stomach. His deep breathing on my neck is an odd comfort. It reminds me that he’s really here, that last night really happened, and that he came back
for me.

Lifting his arm and the sheet off me, I try to slip out of bed without waking him, but he pulls me back into him, gripping me tighter.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he mumbles, still half-asleep.

“We should get up, it’s late.”

“No, we should stay in bed all day. We have lost time to make up for.”

“I think we made up for it enough last night.”
And he didn’t get burnt. Yay!

I was nervous about taking the next step with Brett after my past and only experience, but after embarrassingly explaining myself to him, I realised there was absolutely no reason to be nervous. It was Brett and I was ready.

Still, we took things slow. We giggled through some minor awkwardness, but my first night with Brett was as close to perfect as I could’ve asked for.

He kisses my shoulder, making his way up to my neck.

“Or we could just stay in bed,” I murmur.

We’re interrupted by a knock at the door and Cade walking in. She stops short as she sees the state of undress Brett and I are in, but she doesn’t leave to give us time to get up and put clothes on, just moves farther into the room.

“I’m here to introduce our new head of security,” she says, simply.

Brett and I sit up, covering ourselves with the sheet. I rub my eyes and yawn, awaiting the new bodyguard.

My heart stops beating when he walks in. Brett puts his arm around my shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

What the hell is going on?

I don’t dare say anything. I don’t dare let on that the person standing in front of me has been in my life since I was little. He’s overbearing and a pain in the ass, always sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. But his intentions have always been brotherly, even though he’s Lia’s age and almost old enough to be my father.

“Nuka, Brett, this is Kyle.”

Not laughing at the obvious pseudonym for Kai is almost impossible, but I manage. I know how important it is to ensure I don’t give away the fact they’ve hired a special ops cop as the new head of security.

“I’ll leave you to lay down the law with these two,” Cade says, leaving promptly.

Before the door’s even shut, Kai raises his finger to his mouth to silence me. He takes out a device from his back pocket and starts scanning the room with it. I want to ask what he’s doing, but the words don’t find my mouth.

Brett starts rubbing my back soothingly while Kai makes his way around the room. Once he’s done, he gives us a nod.

“I told you the room was clean,” Brett says.

“Yeah, but you haven’t been here for over a month. Anything could’ve changed,” Kai says.

“How do you two …”

“Okay, confession time,” Brett says, running his hand over his head.

“
Confession
? Please don’t tell me you’re like some undercover cop?”

Brett laughs. “Hardly. After Paddy and I left, we went up north, taking the money out at every ATM we could find, just like you told me to. We made it to a little secluded area on the beach where we hired a cabin for a few days to figure out what we were going to do. Because of all the stops, and not wanting to leave too much of an obvious trail if they got a hold of your financial records, it took us about eight days to get up there.

“It was on the eleventh day that Paddy finally broke. He called me an idiot for choosing him over you and told me I needed to come back. It was in that moment that I realised all I was looking for was permission, an excuse, anything to propel me back here. We were packed and back on the road before Paddy had even stopped yelling at me.”

“If you came back after two weeks, what have you been doing for the last four? What took you so long?”

“We didn’t know how to go about coming back without being killed, or what to do, how to keep Paddy safe, or how to get you out of here … so …”

“He went to Declan,” Kai finishes for him.

“
You
went to Declan? How did that turn out?”

Brett rubs his jaw. “Let’s just say, with a bit of training, he’d make a pretty good Litmus fighter.”

My hand flies up to my mouth. “He didn’t … did he? You didn’t kill him, did you?”

Brett and Kai laugh. “I let him have his shot. I deserved it,” Brett says quietly. “After I explained everything that happened and why I was there, it was like all the anger, jealousy—or whatever it was between us—just disappeared. He went into saving Nuka mode.”

“That still doesn’t explain why Kai’s here, or—”

“Kyle,” Kai corrects me. “You’re going to have to get used to that.”

“Used to it? You mean you’re not here to get us out?”

Brett and Kai share a glance.

“Get dressed. We have a meeting to get to,” Kai says.

“A meeting?”

“Just do as I say, okay? You always were a pain in the ass when it came to asking you to do anything.” Kai tries to say it with a straight face, but I see the hint of a playful smile underneath the tough exterior. He goes to walk out but stops just before the door. “And seriously, I don’t really want to see this”—he gestures to Brett and me in bed with a wave of his hand—“again. I know you’re an adult now, but I’ve known you since you were eight, and this is just wrong. So very wrong. If Brett wasn’t such a giant, I’d have beaten him down already.”

My face heats and flushes with embarrassment, while Brett just laughs it off as Kai walks out the door.

***

Kyle, Kyle, Kyle,
I repeat in my head, trying to get used to it. Kyle and Cade are standing by the front door when we eventually emerge from our room, and we just catch the end of their conversation.

“I’ve been in this business for fifteen years, and I’ve learnt that it’s best to build a bond with my subjects. If they respect me, they’re much more cooperative. I’m just going to take them out for breakfast, woo them a little, and set some small boundaries so we all get along and this goes smoothly. The last thing you want to have to do is find yet another HOS in a few months.”

She clears her throat and nods, gesturing to us standing behind Kyle.

He turns to us. “We ready to go?”

“Is Sasha coming?” I ask.

“I’ll be talking with her later,” Kyle says.

Damn it. I was hoping this was our out.

“We’ll be expecting you back for lunch,” Cade says. “Not a moment later.”

“No problem,” Kyle answers. Either he didn’t pick up on her suspicious tone or he’s ignoring it.

It doesn’t take long for us to be on the road and for me to start probing for answers.

“So where are we really going?”

“Do we really need to tell you?” Kyle asks. “I mean … my being here should be clue enough that your mother’s involved.”

“I’m trying not to get my hopes up here, so I don’t want to assume anything.”

“So you
want
to see your mother?” Kai …
Kyle, Kyle, Kyle,
asks, raising his eyebrow at me in the rear-view mirror. “The impression I’m under is you want nothing to do with her.”

“I may have a lot of apologies to make,” I mumble.

With Kyle’s reluctance to talk and Brett staring out the window pretending like I’m not here, the trip into the city is a silent one. We pull up to a random parking lot, our final destination still a mystery to me.

It’s not until Kyle leads us down a few alleyways, across a few streets, and then backtracks a bit do I realise we’re being led to one of the Institute offices. Kyle’s just making sure that if we’re being followed, we’ll lose them. We’re walking briskly, so briskly I have to jog a couple of steps every now and then to keep up.

He leads us to a side entrance into the Institute building. Kyle has a key, opening the locked door to let us in. The sound of our feet on the tiled floor is the only thing I can hear, or perhaps it’s the only thing I can focus on right now. We walk up a few flights of stairs and open the door to the third-floor offices. Kyle leads us to my uncle’s office and knocks, awaiting a response before entering.

My feet freeze in position, unwilling to take me into the room.

“It’s okay, Nuke. I promise,” Brett says in my ear, giving me an encouraging little push towards the door.

The minute I see her, my eyes fill with tears. “Mummy?” I squeak. It just blurts out of me, and before I can even cringe at myself for being a grown-ass woman calling her mother “mummy,” I’m in her arms and sobbing like the child I’m behaving like.

Dad’s here too. He joins in, then Uncle Drew, and Aunt Jenna also, making it a group hug.

“Guys,” I sniffle. “I’m a little squished.”

They all pry themselves off of me, Mum almost in the same state of tears that I am when she pulls away.

“Your friends are here too, but we asked for some time alone first,” Uncle Drew says. His tone makes me nervous, and then I realise—while they all look happy to see me, none of them look actually happy.

Mum seems pensive, and Dad just looks like Dad—but he’s always had a good poker face; he needs one, being a psychologist and all. Aunt Jenna actually looks a tad angry.

“I’ll leave you guys to fill her in, I’ll go debrief the others,” Kai says.

Uncle Drew gestures for us to take a seat, and we all sit in chairs that have been crammed into this tiny office. Everyone sits except Aunt Jenna who paces back and forth along the window that overlooks the street.

“So,” she starts. “Care to tell us how you’ve ended up in the belly of the biggest illegal syndicate in the country? Fighting, drugs, money laundering, prostitution—it’s all there, and you’re right in the middle of it.”

“Can you not treat my daughter like a suspect?” Mum says. “You’re not an inspector right now, you’re her aunt.”

“Don’t start again, you two,” Dad warns. I guess there’s been a lot of arguing amongst themselves before we arrived.

“It’s just sport,” I say but then see the disappointment in both Mum and Aunt Jenna’s eyes. Even Brett’s staring at me with a stunned expression, like he can’t believe how naïve I am.

“Have you really not noticed it?” Brett asks quietly.

“Noticed what? I turn up, then fight, make small talk with rich people, mix with the other fighters, and then go home. What’s there to notice?”

“It’s not just illegal betting and street fighting with no rules and no regard for the fighters,” Jenna says. “We’ve been after Litmus for years now.”

“Why don’t you just shut it down?”

“Litmus is too big. We’re pretty sure it has some of our officers on its payroll, and we’re sure Dalton has more connections and resources than we’ll ever know. And from what Brett’s told us, there’s four other Jonas Daltons who each own a piece of Litmus. We could always raid it, sure, but all that will do is shut it down for a while before they take up again somewhere else, or even in the same spot. We need to gather evidence to put them all away for life.”

“So that’s why you’ve sent Kai to us? You’re not going to get us out?” I ask, the disappointment crashing down on me.

“The couple of agents who’ve been let in to the inner circle haven’t been invited to come back. We’ve gotten in a few times as patrons, but that gets us nowhere. We need someone who can live in their world, get deep inside. This won’t be a quick sting. We need a full undercover operation.”

“You agreed to this?” I ask, turning to Brett.

“I told them it’s up to you what we do. I’ve been with your family the last few weeks trying to work out a plan for this whole thing, but then when Gabby went to Declan and told him what happened with Drake, about your contract, I went back to Litmus as soon as I could. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but no matter what, you and I will be together. Where you go, I go. I’m not leaving you again. Ever.”

“Nuka,” Mum says, “If you want out, we’ll get you out. We can protect you, Brett, and your sister. We’ll get you to a safe house, we’ll—”

“You know it’s not that easy, Lia,” Aunt Jenna says.

“It’s not?” I ask.

“Do you realise how deep this goes? To get away from someone like Dalton, we’re talking full-scale lockdown, witness protection type stuff. No jobs, no life, hidden somewhere remote where you’ll be looking over your shoulder every five minutes until we can get him. Which won’t happen if we can’t even get an agent in there.”

“But we’re constantly looking over our shoulders now. We saw Jonas shoot someone point-blank. You think he won’t hesitate to do the same to me or Sasha … even Brett?”

“You think he won’t hunt you down and do it anyway if you leave?” Aunt Jenna yells before forcefully making herself take a breath to calm herself down. “Nuka, do you understand what this would mean for us? You could help us bring the whole system down.”