Losing to Win (23 page)

Jordan sighed and returned my hug, adding a platonic little pat on my shoulder. “I'm torn between being really, really flattered and really insulted.”

I laughed and kissed his cheek. “Be flattered. I've loved Mal Knight all of my adult life and the only guy I have ever thought about replacing him with is you.”

He gave a rueful grin and backed away. “I'll take that as my consolation prize. A part of me knew this is how it was going to end. Be well, Carissa Wayne.”

“You do the same, Jordan Little.” I felt even worse that he was so damn nice about it.

With a last wave good-bye, I turned back toward the ballroom to resume the search for my purse. Niecy fell into step beside me. “Um, hey, girl. You're going need to hurry on home You got some explaining to do to your man.”

“What, why?” How did Mal already know what happened?

“Meshach dropped dime on ya. Sorry. I tried to stop him and he didn't get the whole story; his eavesdropping abilities aren't as good as mine. He's been on the phone to Mal three times already.”

“Dammit!” I gave her a one-armed hug and sped up. “I gotta go. You heading to New Orleans?”

“We're stopping in Belle Haven first, but yeah, New Orleans after that,” she declared happily. I was glad it looked like things were working out for Meshach and Niecy. Now I had to go repair my own relationship I had foolishly endangered.

“So happy for you, and thank you for talking some sense into my thick head.”

“I'll send you a bill and thanks, girl. Where are you going to be?” she queried.

“I'll let you know when I figure it out.” Dropping all pretenses, I spied my purse, scooped it up, and ran like hell for the parking garage. I needed to get home. To Mal.

 

 

“M
al?” Carissa called out as she came in through the garage door. I mentally prepared myself for what was coming next. Deliberately I shifted on the sofa so I looked casual and calm when she entered the room.

“I'm in here,” I called out and picked up my iPad.
Just stay calm, Mal
, I told myself.
Whatever she says, you can handle it.You've handled worse.You lost her before, you could survive it again.
I shook my head and exhaled as she walked in the room. “Hey.”

She paused tentatively inside the door. “Meshach called you?”

“He did,” I replied tonelessly.

“Do I want to know what he told you?”

Suddenly I was out of patience. “Just tell me what you have to say, Carissa.”

“Promise me you won't get mad?”

I laughed shortly. “I absolutely cannot make that promise.”

She took a short step forward. “Promise me you'll hear me out.”

“That I can do.”

“I really thought...I'm really scared... The thing that has me worried is...”

Now I was worried. Carissa did not stutter. I set the iPad down and pushed to an upright position, focusing all my attention on her.

“My thought was—what if I go all in with Mal and he breaks my heart again?”

“What if you break mine again?”

“Again?” she asked in confusion.

“You broke mine when you left.”

“You broke mine way before that.”

I nodded. “So you've said.”

“I don't think you get what that night did to me.”

“The night you left?”

“The night you belittled me, ignored me, and treated me like a bothersome groupie for the last time.”

“Again, I apologize. I do know I acted like a dick, but no, I didn't realize it felt that way to you. I never meant to make you feel that way.”

“Okay. But understand that I vowed not to let anyone make me feel that way again. Ever.”

There was nothing I could say to take back that night or the ones like it that had come before so I just clasped my hands. “I can't take it back. I can only apologize and promise to do better. Your feelings in that regard are understandable.”

She continued. “My fear was and still is that all of this”—she gestured to the house; the television coincidently was tuned to the NFL Network where they were showing my last touchdown—“is going to go to your head. I'm afraid you'll lose your way and I'll get shifted to the back. Don't get me wrong; you've been great this summer and these past few months. It's been great. But I don't want to live in your shadow, Mal.”

“I don't want you to. I never did. I just sucked at juggling priorities and making sure we were on the same page. I did a piss-poor job of keeping my eyes on what's really important, but that's never going to happen again, Ris.”

“It's not?”

“It's not,” I reiterated firmly. “I'm not that guy. I lost everything. Everything that really mattered to me. I would have given up the house, the cars, the bank accounts to get you back.”

“What about football? Would you give up football to get me back?” she said in a voice a little above a whisper.

My breath whooshed out and I considered my words carefully before I spoke. I knew that whatever I said next would determine our future. “If it came down to either football or you? I'd choose you. I won't pretend it wouldn't be hard as hell, but for you, I would do it. Do you want me to do it? I can walk away and we can run the foundation together. We've got money in the bank; I've got a few things lined up. We can call a press conference and be packed up and in Belle Haven in three days' time.”

“I wouldn't ask you to do that.” She launched herself at me and I caught her close. “I love you too much to ask that of you. I love you, Mal—football, fame, and all. I can't pretend that I'd prefer we weren't so high profile right now. I hate this part of the game, the fans and the fame, but football is what you love and this comes with you. I want you complete when you're with me.”

“Am I with you?”

“You're with me.”

“And you love me?”

“I never stopped.”

The vice grip that had been squeezing my heart loosened and things inside of me shifted from frightened to content. “What took you so long to tell me?”

“I couldn't. If I said it, it was real.”

“What about Jordan?” I asked.

She pulled back to meet my gaze. “I won't lie to you. I told him I'd give you up and try with him.”

I winced. “I hope he knows you lied to him.”

“He called me on it before I had to take it back. We parted as friends.”

“Um-hmm. Distant friends who rarely see each other. Did you really think I would let you go that easily?”

Her eyes widened. “What would you have done?”

I shifted her closer to me. “Made both of your lives a holy hell. Every off day I had I would have been at your spot pleading ‘please, baby; baby, please.' Every interview I would have been begging and singing, ‘Until you come back to me, that's what I'm gonna do.' Girl, I would've been the beggingest, pleadingest man you ever saw.”

She dissolved into giggles. “Thank God we're spared that.”

“I was terrified you were coming over here tonight to tell me you were leaving me for him.”

“I almost did,” she admitted in a small voice.

“That cuts.” That cut to the bone. I came that close to losing her.

“But I came to my senses. I'm here, Mal. I'm here to stay.”

“What about Belle Haven?”

“Mac can finish working on the house, especially since I need to expand the master suite to fit a certain pro baller.”

“Damn right. A brother needs some closet space.”

She rolled her eyes. “When I checked in with the administrators at Havenwood, it's pretty clear they are okay with offering the substitute teacher my full-time position. Apparently, I've become more of a disruption than a guiding force.”

“I don't want you to give up teaching if you love it,” I protested.

“Give up teaching high schoolers at a private school? I think I'll survive the loss. I'd rather concentrate on getting the foundation up and running here and in Belle Haven. That's the real kind of mentoring and teaching I want to do. I want to reach the kids we can help the most. There are teenagers hungry for education everywhere. We can show kids that education is a chance for a better life.”

“Or we can teach them sports,” I teased.

“Ri-ight because so many kids make it to the pros from Belle Haven, Louisiana. But you know, it might not be a bad idea to do a summer workshop combining our interests, either here or in Belle Haven.” Her eyes lit up talking about it.

“Sports and Shakespeare might actually be cool.”

“We'll make it so.” She hugged me tighter.

I nodded and stroked my hand up and down her back. “We'll split our time. Off season in Belle Haven, season here in Houston for however much longer I play.”

“So we'll be here a while, then.”

“Ris?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.”

“Marry me?” I held my breath and waited for her answer.

After a beat or two, she asked. “Really?”

“Really. After the season, let's go somewhere tropical.”

“Belize?”

“Why Belize?”

“Why not?”

“Why not indeed?” I reached into a drawer on the coffee table and pulled out a small box. I saw the expression on her face. With an inward grin, I opened the lid and turned it toward her.

“Oh!” She exclaimed as her eyes lit up and she reached for the ring.

“You thought I'd give you the same ring? You hated that thing,” I teased her. This was a three-carat, brilliant-cut sapphire surrounded with round diamonds. Much more her style.

She held out her finger.

“Is that a yes?”

“That's a yes. I love it.”

“And me?”

“And you too.”

I slid the ring onto her finger. “This is it, woman. You and me. We're done being stupid with each other.”

“This is it. You're stuck with me even if I gain forty pounds, cut off all my hair, and develop an addiction to chocolate truffles.”

“You're already addicted to chocolate truffles and I liked you with the extra cushion.”

“Mal,” she protested.

“I did! More bounce to the ounce.” I grinned.

“You're so nasty.”

“You like me that way.”

“I love you that way.”

“Then that's all we need.”

 

 

“S
omehow, when you said we needed to get a workout in this afternoon, I had envisioned something a lot sexier than this,” I huffed and raised the arms on the butterfly machine over my head. We were in the gym of the JW Marriott Ihilani Resort and Spa in Kapolei near Honolulu, Hawaii. Malachi walked over and looked at the settings.

“Come on, lightweight, you can do better than that. You were up to eighty pounds on this thing before.”

“Yeah, that was before you had me lying around sipping champagne and eating cake,” I complained.

“That was one day and I told you it was not necessary for the bride to go back for seconds.”

“That cake was like ambrosia, though.”

“The cake was my choice, if you recall,” he bragged.

“I recall. So we're back around to where it's your fault I'm out of shape.”

“First, you are nowhere close to out of shape. I don't think you've gained a pound. And I've done a pretty forensic analysis of your body. But sure, baby. Put the blame on my broad chiseled shoulders, they can take it.”

Jerk. He did look amazing. I adjusted the weight and puffed harder through two more reps. “Arrogance does not become you.” I swished past him to the leg press.

“But this six pack does. I gotta keep my bedroom physique.” He patted his stomach and laughed as I glared at him.

He hopped onto the treadmill and broke into a jog immediately. If he wasn't mine, I'd truly dislike him.

“Before you get too carried away over there, we have to do one last thing tonight.”

“Only one?” he said silkily.

I smiled back. “Only one suitable for public viewing.”

“What is it? Commercial, interview, shoot?”

“Photo shoot.”

“You're almost done with the legs, you got glutes and abs, and we'll go.”

I frowned. “What's wrong with my glutes?”

“Not a damn thing. As a matter of fact, if you want to cut this sort, we can slide upstairs so I can show my appreciation right quick.”

“I don't know. I don't want to keep you from getting your twenty minutes of cardio in.”

“You doubt your ability to keep my heart rate up for twenty minutes?”

I hopped off the machine. “You know what; I'll get that heart rate and a few other parts up and pumping. Let's go, player.”

It gave me joy to see him almost trip in his haste to leave the treadmill and follow me. I put a little extra sway to my hips for his benefit.

“Oh, we're starting on that heart rate right now, huh?”

“You know it.”

“Carissa! Mal! One more, over here,” the photographers called out as we attempted to stroll casually along the beach in front of the hotel. To the left of the random photographers were the crew members from the network.

“This is your fault,” I muttered as we turned, smiled, posed.

“Your idea.” He leaned down and nuzzled my neck.

“How do you figure?” I asked and stretched up on tiptoe to graze his lips with a kiss.

“You knew when you mentioned that the network would foot the bill for this wedding if we agreed to let them film the whole event that I was going to be all in.”

“Cheap ass,” I teased.

“Hell yeah. The league was already paying to send us here for the Pro Bowl. Moving the wedding from Belize to Hawaii and having someone else pick up the tab was a no-brainer.”

“Yet here we are again on display for all the world to see.”

We clasped hands and strolled slowly, pretending like we didn't have a slew of cameras aimed at us.

“Woman, did we not fly your fam and mine out here for free?”

“We did.”

“Did we not feed two hundred people grilled lobster for free?”

“We did.”

He picked me up and swung me around. “Are we not Mr. and Mrs. Malachi Knight?”

I flung my head back and chortled with glee. “We are!”

“There you go.”

I got the signal from Bliss that they had enough footage for what they needed. Mal set me back on my feet and we headed in the opposite direction of the cameras. “If only you hadn't won the Super Bowl and the Super Bowl MVP and the Comeback Player of the Year award. Damn overachiever.”

“Yeah, sorry I didn't suck.”

“All that success made this a complete circus.”

“You know how I do.”

“Bringing the contestants over and combining the reunion show for
Losing to Win
was a smart idea too. A pain in the ass, but a smart idea.”

He nodded. “Even Suzette was pleasant for once.”

“Free trip to Hawaii? Damn right she put a smile on her face and showed up. So who's next, do you think? Tay and Mac? Shach and Niecy? Sugar and Lee? Even Jordy showed up with a cute woman on his arm.”

“I wouldn't bet against any of them,” Mal shared as we quickstepped through the lobby toward the elevators. We slid inside and smiled at each other.

“It's funny,” I started.

“What's funny?”

“The show that I dreaded doing? That I hated the very idea of? Turned out all right.”

He nodded. “Did a lot of good for a lot of people. We've got the foundation up and running. Belle Haven is actually a tourist spot. A bunch of friends got hooked up. Pretty much win-win. Especially since we did win.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “We won the show, yes.”

“We won so much more.” He pulled me close as the doors opened onto our floor.

I walked backward toward our suite. “C'mon, Mr. Knight. Now that we've satisfied the cameras, let's get some honeymooning on.”

“Whatever you say, Mrs. Knight.”

“Now that's what I like to hear.” I slid the
DO NOT DISTURB
sign on the handle and let the door swing shut behind us.