Losing You (56 page)

‘Ah, yes,’ Jolyon replied awkwardly. ‘I only brought it up to prove a point. I’d forget it if I were you. It’s not relevant to anything. Now I’m afraid I really do have to go. I’ll be in touch as soon as there’s some news.’

As he dashed off towards the arch leading into Bristol’s legal district, Russ turned to Oliver. ‘Do you have any idea what he was talking about?’

Oliver merely shrugged and shook his head. Taking out his phone to turn it on, he said, ‘Charlie’s going to be dying to hear how it went. Then, if it’s OK with you, I’m going to put the rest of my day on hold in case I can go to see Lauren.’

Chapter Twenty-Eight

‘I’M SORRY IT
couldn’t happen sooner,’ Emma was saying to Oliver as she met him in the corridor outside the ward. ‘When she came round last Thursday I’m afraid I got carried away. I wanted her to see everyone and hear how happy they were that she was back ... It was all too much, of course. She wasn’t nearly strong enough, but she’s definitely starting to pick up now. Just please don’t expect too much, because it’s still very early days.’

‘Of course,’ he said awkwardly. His eyes were worried as they came to hers. ‘Does she know I’m coming?’ he asked. ‘I mean, have you told her who I am?’

Emma regarded him kindly. ‘No, I haven’t, because for the time being at least, she doesn’t seem to have any memory of the accident.’

‘I guess that’s a good thing,’ he said, standing out of the way as a nurse went speeding past towards the ITU. ‘Does she remember anything else? Like, does she know you?’

All weekend Emma had veered between floating on air, and fearing that each tiny breakthrough was going to be the last, and that hadn’t changed. However, she was able to say, ‘Yes, she seems to know all of us who’ve seen her, but so far that’s only been my mother and her aunt and uncle who came down at the weekend. Polly and Melissa, who are friends, came on Sunday, but she slept right through their visit. It was very disappointing for them, but they can always come again.’

He nodded and looked down at the chocolates he’d brought, not wanting to come empty-handed. ‘Can I give her these?’ he asked. ‘Dad said we’re not supposed to bring flowers into hospitals, so I thought ... I didn’t know if she
was able to eat yet, and I thought these would keep better than if I brought fruit. Or maybe the nurses would like them.’

‘That’s very considerate of you,’ Emma told him warmly. It was bewildering to be feeling so much affection for this boy when if it weren’t for him, and his mother, she and Lauren wouldn’t even be here. Yet she only had to recall Philip Leesom’s part in it all to make her feel far more sympathy than resentment towards Oliver. ‘She’s only taking fluids at the moment,’ she said, ‘but everything’s happening by degrees.’

‘Can she talk?’

Feeling the threat of a cold grip trying to claim her, Emma said, ‘No, not yet. She can make sounds, though, and she definitely understands what we’re saying to her.’ Then, realising how nervous the five-day wait had made him, she put a reassuring hand on his arm. ‘Are you ready to go in now?’ How wonderful that he cared. How could she not admire and respect him for that?

He swallowed as he nodded. ‘She’s awake, is she?’

‘Yes, she’s awake, but be prepared for her to nod off while you’re talking to her. She’s had several visitors this morning, doctors, physios, occupational therapists, you name it. She’s insisting she’s not tired, but I’m not convinced.’

Clutching his chocolates in both hands he followed Emma into the neuro ward, past the nurses’ station and to the open door of the side room, where Lauren was propped up against pillows with her right leg still in a cast. Her eyes, the exquisite amber eyes that he’d only seen in photos and on videos until now, were open and looking right at him. It made his breath catch and his insides seem to float.

She looked lovely, Emma thought, in spite of the odd lengths of her hair and the dismaying paleness of her skin, which had previously glowed with such vitality.

‘I’m sure it’ll come back,’ the doctor had told her, ‘you just have to be patient.’

Emma wasn’t finding it easy to heed this caution, especially when Lauren had looked healthier while she was still in a coma. Jo, the staff nurse, had assured her that
was only because of the strain she was under now, trying to get used to her new surroundings and coax herself into doing things she hadn’t done for some time.

‘She will speak again though, won’t she?’ Emma had insisted. ‘And walk and be able to feed herself?’

‘Certainly the signs so far are good.’

Though it hadn’t been the categorical yes Emma would have preferred, she was quick to remind herself how much more she had to hold on to now than she’d had a week ago.

‘Darling, this is Oliver,’ she said, standing aside so Lauren could get a clear view of her visitor.

Lauren’s eyes were already on his, and Emma watched with pride as she appeared both pleased to see him and yet perplexed, as though she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to know him or not. She couldn’t be exuding emotions through her eyes if nothing was happening inside, and while she might not know who Oliver was, her inherent politeness was definitely still intact.

‘Hello, Lauren,’ he said, going towards the bed. He stopped and turned to Emma, as though seeking permission to go further.

‘It’s OK,’ Emma told him. ‘If you pick up her hand she’ll be able to talk to you.’

Showing Lauren the chocolates, he said, ‘I don’t know if you like these, but if not you can always offer them to your visitors.’

Lauren’s eyes dropped to the chocolates, then went back to his.

Pulling up a chair, he sat on the edge of it and touched his fingers tentatively to hers.

Lauren glanced down at their hands; then returned her gaze curiously to his. Her lips parted and a small noise came from the back of her throat.

‘She can’t move her hand to yours yet,’ Emma told him, ‘so you have to do it.’

Without breaking their gaze, Oliver covered her fingers with his and held them gently. ‘You won’t remember me,’ he said softly, ‘but I like to think of myself as a friend.’

He looked down as her hand made a small movement beneath his.

‘She’s saying yes,’ Emma explained. Her lips were trembling slightly as she smiled. There was something quite magical about watching them together, as though, oddly, they were finding each other after a long and lonely search that neither of them had even known they were making.

‘How are you feeling?’ he asked in barely more than a whisper.

Emma gave Lauren a moment before quietly reminding Oliver that he needed to ask questions that could be answered with a yes or no.

‘Sorry,’ he apologised.

Lauren’s eyes were searching his again. To Emma’s astonishment she began moving her hand and actually managed to lift it several inches from the bed before it fell back into his.

‘That’s the first time she’s done that,’ she told Oliver excitedly, wishing she knew what Lauren had been trying to do. The important thing was, though,
she had raised her hand
.

Lauren turned to look at her. ‘Mmm, mmm,’ she said.

‘Yes, I’m still here,’ Emma assured her, knowing by now that the mmms meant Mum. ‘You’re wondering who Oliver is, aren’t you?’

Lauren squeezed Oliver’s hand once.

‘She said yes,’ he told Emma.

‘Well, like he said, he’s a friend who’s been getting to know you while you’ve been here. He plays music for you to listen to and he talks to you about things.’

Lauren took her eyes back to Oliver as he said, ‘I’ve downloaded k.d. lang’s new album. It’s called
Recollection
, and I reckon you’ll really like some of the tracks. They’re kind of cool, country, but not, if you know what I mean.’

To Emma’s further amazement a light of humour showed in Lauren’s eyes as she squeezed his hand twice to say no.

He blushed and laughed. ‘OK, so I didn’t describe it so well,’ he admitted. ‘Would you like to listen to it anyway?’

Again she squeezed twice.

Seeing how crushed he looked, Emma quickly said, ‘I think what she’s trying to say is that she’d rather you told her something about yourself. Is that right?’ she asked Lauren.

Lauren’s grip tightened on his hand as she parted her lips to try to speak again.

‘I guess that was a yes,’ he teased her.

Lauren’s eyes shone as she turned to her mother.

‘Would you like me to leave the two of you alone for a while?’ Emma offered.

‘Ouch!’ Oliver cried. He turned to Emma. ‘That was a definite yes.’

There was the hint of a smile on Lauren’s lips now, and her eyes were so bright that Emma wasn’t sure who she wanted to hug more, her daughter or this boy who was doing more to light her up than anyone else had managed so far.

‘I can hardly get my head round it,’ she said to Polly on the phone a few minutes later as she sat down in the cafe. ‘Within minutes of him arriving she’d actually lifted her hand, and when I left just now she was still smiling, more or less, not at me, at him. They’re small things, I know, and anyone else might not notice them, but right now, to me, they’re feeling huge.’

‘Because they are,’ Polly declared joyfully. ‘Slowly, but surely, everything’s starting to wake up again. Like the doctor said, we just have to be patient. It’s going to happen though, I just know it.’

Emma wanted to hold on to that and never, ever let it go, but she couldn’t forget the doctor’s warning that she had to be realistic. It simply wasn’t possible, he’d told her, for a human brain to sustain an impact of that force and survive in the same condition it had been in before. The most damaged of the cells had been removed during surgery, and though it was possible others would take over the tasks the old ones had performed, they had yet to find out to what degree the new ones were able to assume their new roles. ‘She’s probably not going to be exactly the same as before,’ she said, staring sadly down at her tea.

‘You have to give her a chance,’ Polly said, ‘it hasn’t even been a week yet.’

‘I know, but it threw me badly to realise that she didn’t know what the flute was when I showed it to her on Saturday. And she can’t remember the name of her school,
or even who her friends are. Let’s hope that seeing Melissa will help to jog her memory a bit.’

‘I’m sure it will. She hasn’t had a problem with anyone else once she’s seen them.’

Emma smiled mistily at that. ‘Did I tell you, I asked her at the weekend if there was anyone else she’d like to see and she said no? So does that mean she’s forgotten about Will?’

‘If she has, then I’m sorry to say, he only has himself to blame. On the other hand, I can see why you’d be worried about that when he’s such a significant part of her life.’

‘Or was, given that we’ve no idea what he’s going to be in the future. If she doesn’t make a full recovery, and he doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with her, I can promise you this, I will not be doing anything to try and help her to remember him. In fact, I shall go out of my way never to see or speak to him.’

‘In some ways it might be easier not to have him fussing around and stressing you out. You’re so not going to need it, especially when she comes home.’

Feeling herself melt at the thought, even as she tensed with apprehension, Emma waved as she spotted her mother coming towards the cafe. ‘What’s happening later?’ she asked Polly. ‘Is it our turn to cook?’

‘No, mine, but, wait for this, can you believe, I have a date? So I’m hoping you won’t mind too much if I leave you to your own devices tonight.’

‘Absolutely not,’ Emma assured her with a pang of excitement, which might have been tinged with envy. How long had it been since someone had invited her out on a date? How wonderful it would be if that was all she had to think about for the rest of the day. ‘I’m assuming it’s Alistair Wood,’ she said.

‘Then you’d be wrong. It’s Keith McIntyre, who happens to be one of Alistair’s business managers. He takes care of the company’s interest in the nursery, which is how I’ve got to know him – well, we’ve met twice, actually, and spoken a few times on the phone. His call came out of the blue yesterday, I didn’t have a clue he was even interested.’

‘So are you?’

‘Kind of, I suppose. He’s quite sweet and to put it bluntly, I’m so out of practice where dating’s concerned that I thought what the hell, I might as well give it a go. It doesn’t have to lead to anything, and it’ll get me out for an evening, maybe even broaden my limited horizons. I’ll find out if he’s got a brother, or a friend, shall I?’

Emma gave a splutter of laughter as her mother dumped her bags on a chair and went off to fetch a fresh pot of tea. ‘Don’t make it a priority,’ Emma advised her. ‘Just have a great time and don’t forget to call in the morning to tell me everything.’

‘It’s a promise,’ Polly assured her.

As Emma rang off her phone bleeped with a text. Seeing it was Donna she sighed uneasily, knowing she’d have to call the girl sooner or later, but now, in the middle of this coffee shop, wasn’t the time to explain why she didn’t want her to visit Lauren. ‘Is everything OK?’ she asked when her mother came to sit down.

‘Yes, Mrs Dempster managed to get her shopping done in record time, bless her. She knew I wanted to get away to come here. She bought us a packet of summer bulbs to plant ready for when Lauren comes home. She’s very thoughtful, isn’t she?’

‘She’s a sweetheart,’ Emma agreed, ‘and I think she’s really enjoyed getting to know you.’

‘She used to be a fan of your father’s.’ Phyllis smiled softly. ‘She had all his records apparently, but they’ve managed to get lost along the way. Would you like a top-up?’

‘Yes please. Did you stop by to see Lauren?’

Phyllis’s eyebrows rose as she nodded. ‘I take it that’s him, the one who’s in there with her?’

‘It is. Did you speak to him?’

‘Well, I said hello, of course, and told him who I was. Then I thought I’d best leave them to it, they seemed so engrossed in whatever they were listening to.’

‘k.d. lang, I expect. How did she look to you?’

‘She seemed quite ... bright. She’s obviously enjoying having someone her own age around.’