Lost

Copyright 2014 by Dean Murray

Isaac Nazir
Right-Size Burger and Gas
Outside of Dallas, Texas

Things had
been…strained between Ash and I since the attack on the
estate. I guess that's the right word, the right English word. I know
a few other languages and there are some other words that are a
better fit, but they aren't
that
much better of a fit. No word
really captures the true level of tension you get when you lock two
shape shifters who don't like each other inside of a car for more
than a day.

Under other
circumstances I could have probably gotten along just fine with Ash.
He was competent and deadly, which are two of the characteristics
that most shape shifters think are the most important in any
individual. Competent means that you won't have to worry about
cleaning up after them. Deadly means that they can protect themselves
and maybe even watch your back if you end up against some kind of
external threat.

That's
good—there are a lot of external threats out there when you're
a shape shifter. Vampires, werewolves, even other shape shifter
packs, and that's just the more common stuff. The problem is that the
external threats have only ever banded us together for a short time.
Sooner or later we always ended up turning on each other. Which is
exactly what happened again outside of Dallas less than twenty-four
hours after we split off from the rest of Alec's people.

"Turn the
cell phone off, Isaac."

Kristin had
disappeared a minute before having mumbled something about needing a
bathroom break while Ash and I ordered food from the cheerily-painted
burger joint that was attached to the gas station.

"Back off,
Ash. Alec said his guys have things under control. I need to check in
and make sure I haven't missed a call from anyone."

"Look, I
get it. You're worried about Andrew, Jess, and the rest. Trust me, it
can wait until we make it to the safe house that I've got lined up
for us. Until then we'd be stupid to rely on Alec's hackers to
protect us. We're safer just leaving the phones off."

"He's
right. Besides, I can basically guarantee that Jessica isn't going to
be calling you anytime soon."

I'd heard
Kristin leave the restroom; I should have known that she wouldn't be
able to keep her mouth shut.

"This
doesn't involve you."

Ash shut her up
with a look before she could launch into whatever scathing retort she
had on the end of her tongue. Once he was confident she was going to
stay silent for at least the next three seconds he turned back to me.

"Actually,
it does. I know that you're good with this kind of stuff, but you
don't want to go head to head with the best hackers on the Coun'hij
payroll, not like this—working off of a shoestring with
everything at stake for the three of us as well as Alec, Jess and the
others."

"Stop
saying Jess' name. There is zero reason for the two of you to keep
bringing her up. Alec said that he wanted everyone to stay on comms.
If you had a problem with that, you should have brought it up with
him before we left."

"Are you
mental? We keep mentioning Jess because she's still all you think
about. We aren't idiots, this is
all
about Jess."

Ash didn't look
particularly happy at Kristin's decision to jump back in the
conversation.

"I did
talk to Alec before we left, Isaac. I explained my concerns to him
and he agreed that it would be a good idea to have a couple of the
groups stay silent for a while in case his hackers couldn't keep a
lid on things."

"Why
wasn't I informed? I've been with him for longer than the two of you,
and this is my area of expertise."

"You were
too busy trying to get Jess to give you one more chance before she
left with Wyatt."

I spun around
and took a step towards Kristin. I was moving fast—not as fast
as I could have, not in public, I wasn't that far gone—but I
still only made it a single step before I heard a click as Ash pulled
the hammer back on the big .45 semi-auto that he always had somewhere
close at hand. It wasn't a loud sound, but given just how distinctive
that particular sound is—and the sensitivity of my hearing—it
froze me in my tracks.

"You
wouldn't dare, not in a public place like this."

My words were
something less than a whisper. Kristin wouldn't be able to hear them,
but she apparently didn't need to know what was being said to know
that things had just gotten serious. I could tell by the way that she
was standing against the wall that she already had her pistol out,
screened behind her body, but ready to go at a second's notice.

"Isaac,
don't push me. You'd be surprised what I'd be willing to do right
now. The police response time out here is at least three minutes.
Kristin and I can easily lose ourselves downtown before the police
can tighten a noose around us. Turn the phone off—now—or
you'll force my hand. You can possibly beat one of us, but you can't
take both of us, not in human form, not when we are standing so far
apart."

I tried to stay
loose, but my body tensed up as I calculated odds. My beast wanted a
piece of Ash and Kristin both. Neither of them was a match for us,
and we were tired of being pushed around.

The temptation
to shift forms and lunge towards Ash was nearly overpowering. I'd had
a harder time keeping my cool lately, but this was more than that.
Dominance was important. It wasn't just about establishing a pecking
order inside of a pack, it was about figuring out who the go-to guys
and gals were for when things got dicey. It was about figuring out
who called the shots when lives were on the line.

In a bad pack,
one that was unhealthy, dominance fights ended up with someone dead
more often than not, but it didn't have to be like that. In a good
pack, dominance fights were a way of blowing off steam before things
heated up to the point that people felt like the only choice left for
them was to try and kill someone. It was more about knowing where you
fit in. Once you knew that, it was a lot easier to deal with
everyone, and if someone started pushing too hard then the two of you
beat the tar out of each other until someone came out on top.

That was how it
was supposed to work, and if you had a decent alpha who made sure
that nobody got too carried away it was a good system, only Ash threw
everything off. He didn't have a prayer of standing up to me without
his weapons so he didn't even try. There weren't any shades of gray
with Ash, everything was binary for him.

Something was
either worth fighting over or it wasn't. If it wasn't then you could
push him around with an almost reckless abandon, but if it was
important, then he'd pull a weapon on you so fast that your head
would spin. For Ash, if it was worth fighting over then it was worth
dying over.

I'd thought
that things were pretty rough when we'd been up against Brandon's
pack, but even then there had usually been a kind of underlying honor
code to the war. Ash had been trained by people who didn't let
anything
get in the way of their objective.

"You're
out of time, Isaac. Your phone just finished booting up. If someone
is looking for you they'll be able to ping it within the next few
seconds. I won't ask again."

I looked over
at my right hand and realized that I hadn't ever put my phone back in
my pocket. Ash was right, it was decision time. If I was right, then
he was getting really worked up over nothing, but even if I was
right, he'd backed me into a corner. Killing Ash and Kristin wouldn't
actually accomplish anything. Best-case scenario I ended up by myself
and on the run from the cops, worst-case scenario I'd be dead.
Neither option put me in a position to help Jess or anyone else.

I reached over
and powered down my phone. "One of these days you're going to
push me too far, Ash."

"Yeah, I
know. Believe me when I say that I don't look forward to that day any
more than you do."

The cute
brunette behind the counter put the last of our order on the two
trays she'd been assembling and gave the three of us a cheery smile.

"Here you
go, have a nice day."

She'd never
even suspected that the restaurant had been a hair's breadth from
turning into a war zone. I mustered up what I hoped was a convincing
smile of my own, and picked up the second tray.

Ash and I sat
at separate booths. It wasn't something that either of us had ever
discussed; it was just one of those things. You don't chain two pit
bulls inside the same cage unless you want them to fight. Keeping a
buffer of space between us usually kept things from boiling over as
frequently.

Kristin moved
like a professional herself these days. She'd always been dangerous,
at least she'd been that way for as long as I'd known her, but Ash
had honed her to a fine edge during the last few months. She stayed
clear of Ash's right hand at all times and she kept hers free too.

"It's days
like today that make me wonder how many times back home I was
completely oblivious to the fact that people were just about to kill
each other. I used to work in a place like this, you know."

I unwrapped my
first burger as I considered Kristin's comment. "That must have
been nice, a normal life. Do you miss it?"

She looked at
me like I was crazy. "Are you kidding? I spent every waking
minute trying to find a way out of that place. The last thing I ever
wanted to be was
ordinary
. This isn't quite the way I
originally planned on trying to make my mark on the world, but it's a
ton better than the life most of the kids from my school will be
looking at once they graduate."

Ash didn't seem
particularly interested in joining in the conversation. He was paying
attention, I'd never seen Ash be anything other than
on
, but
he simply grabbed another handful of fries.

"You can't
really mean that, Kristin. The three of us are living on borrowed
time. We're probably not going to make it through the year. Even if
Alec's war against the Coun'hij ends up going our way, we'll still
have targets on our back. There will always be another set of bad
guys who need taken down. The vampires or the jaguars will
practically be lining up for a shot at toppling Alec from the throne.
Anyone in their right mind would choose a normal, safe life in a
heartbeat."

That earned me
a frown. Kristin took in all of the empty tables and booths around us
in one sweeping gesture.

"Safety is
an illusion. It's all relative. Someone could walk through those
doors tomorrow and gun down a dozen 'normal' people who just happen
to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. People think that they're
safe, but they're just a bunch of sheep. I'd rather know what is
going on around me, and die having done the best I could to save
myself, than just wander around in a daze hoping that my number
hasn't come up on any given day.

"You can
romanticize about the joys of a normal life all you want, but the
truth is that a normal life is mostly just a lot of drudgery—the
soul-crushing monthly mortgage payment kind of drudgery—and
ninety-nine out of a hundred people wish that they could be
different, that they could be special somehow. You fantasize about
normal life because it's something you've never had. It's the most
compelling argument you could have made as to the fact that you've
always been special."

My beast wanted
to lash out at her—verbally would do despite not being as
satisfying—but I knew that wasn't the right response. Kristin
wasn't trying to be in my face, she just felt strongly about this
subject. I brought my beast under control with a shadow of the
smoothness that had been my trademark for so many years, but I got it
under control.

I'd thought
James was just undisciplined, but now I wasn't so sure of that. Maybe
I'd just been taking credit all of that time for something that had
nothing to do with me. I'd thought it was my will and self-control
that made me who I was, but those things don't just evaporate between
one day and the next.