Lost Angel (The List #1) (16 page)

Thursday 2
^nd
April 2015

9:04am

I
put the phone down, having called the clinic
the minute they opened at 9am. Thankfully April Fool’s Day was yesterday,
otherwise I probably wouldn’t believe the lady that’s just told me I’m in the clear
on all screening, except for syphilis, which will take another couple of days. I’d
started expecting the worst as though that’d protect me if it turned out to be
bad news. Instead, I breathe a huge week-long sigh of relief. I can finally put
this saga behind me.

As planned, I’ve spent the week getting my head
straight. I feel fully focused again and I’ve been a busy bee. I went into work
a couple of times this week, daily yoga and meditation, written a few poems – a
hobby that helps me process situations, lots of bedtime reading, met up with some
old uni friends for a coffee, had some girly nights in with Wills that mostly involving
wine and take-away food and caught up with Mike on the phone and my parents.

My favourite thing this week was the couple of
reiki healing sessions Willow set up for us here at home. The reiki master,
Palmer, who came by was recommended by Willows yoga instructor. He’s in his
late 30’s, short with floppy brown hair that reaches his shoulders. Palmer
commands your focus in a spiritual way and I bought into his aura immediately. So
much so that the first session was overwhelming. After a pep talk from Wills, I
was able to completely give myself to the experience and it was so pure and wonderful.
Palmer came back a couple of days later, apparently to continue work realigning
my chakras; whatever he did felt enlightening. It’s been so empowering and I
feel a sense of awe for the people that are able to fully immerse themselves in
this way of life.

I’ve also been to the gym every day, either in
the morning for a wake up run or swim, or during the day for a class. Wills and
I even blasted out a spin class together to help burn off the copious amounts
of calories we’ve consumed lately.

Wills definitely picked the perfect gym for
people watching. The layout is ideal and it’s now standard practice for me to
take advantage of eyeing up the never ending talent streaming in and out of the
place. Wills and I have mastered our ‘facial language’. We can literally have a
conversation from across the room, pointing out members worthy of casual
perusal or some subtle crotch watching; all in the name of getting into our
fitness zone, obviously.

The more I’m drawn to muscular, physically fit
men, the more I come to realise that that is my preference. It possibly always
has been. Being in a relationship obviously switched off the part of me that
turns an innocent look at somebody thinking ‘they’re good looking’, to a far
from innocent look at somebody thinking ‘Mmm the things I could do to that
body’. But I know now that I’m attracted to men who look after themselves,
which they have to be to pull off some of the bodies that exhibit themselves
around 24/7, not that I’m complaining. I want a man who I strongly connect with
in body, mind and heart – My elusive triple threat.

My favourite body to gawp at still belongs to the
almighty Jaxson, it’s just a shame I know he would eat me alive and my stomach
cartwheels when I imagine doing a ‘
Steve’
on him. It’s a cringe worthy
thought, that I would totally disappoint him in the bedroom the way Steve
disappointed me. I’ve got a helluva creative imagination so my sexual fantasies
certainly don’t and won’t suffer but there’s no way I’d be able to let go with
Mr Intimidating. I would never want to do a ‘
Steve’
to anybody, least of
all Jaxson! That guy still has me drooling from a distance, just like he does
with most of the other gym members – The difference being, when I drink him in,
I recall his disarming brazen words said in that sensual orgasm-inspiring voice,
the touch of his finger sliding slowly up my thigh… But most of all I recall
his gorgeous face, magical eyes, perfect lips... It’s quickly becoming a
frustratingly addictive habit of mine, which I’ll need to get a hold of if our
paths are going to continue to cross this often.

Having seen him quite a few times since Tricks,
the most we’ve exchanged is an awkward smile. I don’t know if he believes I’m a
lesbian or if he even cares but I can’t help the utter yearning I feel when I
look at him or even when I think of him and imagine what he is capable of.

I quickly quash the voice telling me he could
be the tame and lame type Willow mentioned before, plus I’m not so sure he fits
in her ‘knobnoxious beasts’ category. I’m not letting that notion spoil my harmless
erotic daydreams or the not so harmless wet dreams!

I didn’t divulge the mighty morphing Jaxson
part during my Steve recollection to Wills; she’d have had a field day with the
banter if she knew how much I thought of him.

Friday 3
^rd
April 2015

7:16pm

W
illow is working tonight and she is super
excited because it was her turn to organise a themed night. Her last one was an
epic success. It was a beach party theme; she turned the dance floor into a
beach with real sand, beach games and cocktail making. This time she’s decided
on a battle of the sexes night with a strict army themed dress code, which she
started promoting last month.

The bulk of her budget was spent on hiring a
team of dancers as the main entertainment, who’ll do a performance partway
through the night in-between party games and dancing. She has spent the week
organising the drinking games, which she is so excited about.

The bar was appropriately decorated this
afternoon with all sorts of army paraphernalia and props including cargo
netting being draped everywhere, large wooden ammo crates to sit on, bullet
shaped plastic shot glasses and black and green personalised ‘Stryders’ helium
balloons. We grabbed lunch on the go and drove over so she could oversee the
transformation. She was absolutely in her element, relishing seeing her ideas
come to life.

After we showered, we met in the kitchen to
straighten our hair and do our make-up and nails over a glass of wine. I
ordered some camouflage nail art stickers online and they look perfect on. So
all that’s left is to hurry up and get dressed because we’ve got a taxi booked
to make sure we get there by 9pm. We blast out some music and go to our rooms
to change. Willow even organised my outfit for me, she said it wasn’t a problem
because she was getting hers at the same time but seriously, she has gone all
out. I guess it’s because she hopes everybody else will make the same amount of
effort.

Now that I’m dressed I feel irrefutably
attractive, so much so that when I look in the mirror I actually blush. I quickly
come to the conclusion that it’s because I don’t look like me. Not that I usually
think I’m unattractive, it’s just this girl in the mirror takes it to a whole
new level. This is how I imagine Miss Alter Ego dresses sometimes. Well it looks
like she’ll be coming out to play tonight, guaranteed unrestrained fun
.

Without using a hair tie, I post my long
straightened hair through the hole at the back of my army cap and make my way
downstairs.

I meet Wills in the lounge and our jaws drop
when we see each other. She certainly looks the part!

I’m wearing combat hot pants, with a matching zip
up short sleeved fitted army jacket, partially unzipped, and camouflage patterned
bikini top underneath. Wills has got the same jacket, cap and bikini top but
has teamed hers with ultra-skinny combat trousers and ladies black leather lace
up army boots for comfort, as she’ll be running about most of the night.

My accessories include; customary dog tags, a
fake military pistol that’s held in a holster around my thigh, black tinted
sunglasses and a weaponry type belt with a water bottle, hip flask and a
leather pouch that fits my essentials in snugly so no need for a handbag
tonight. I have treated myself to a pair of army green canvas zipper ankle boots
with five inch heels and I’ve customised them by stitching on some pretend
bullets that I’d also ordered online.

“Wills you look amazing and thanks for all of
this, I feel incredible. I swear you’ve outdone yourself with our outfits, I
feel so—so seductive. Footloose and fancy-free. I love it!”

“So you should B, you look even more awesome
than I thought and that’s saying something!” Wills gets out her phone and we
take some selfie’s. Then I put on my glasses, grab my pistol and start doing
random poses whilst she snaps more photos. “Look, I knew you wouldn’t have
chosen something like this for yourself but tonight is the perfect excuse to
dress daring and different, show off some flesh and bring some sexy badass to
the party… Come on, quit the posing, grab a shot, let’s go. Taxi’s here.”

We take a one last sober selfie with our shots
and get on our way.

8:54pm

Cutting it fine we get to Stryders and considering
the doors opened less than an hour ago, it’s filling out nicely. I see Willow
breathe a sigh of relief when she sees the army of customers queuing outside. Everybody
looks great including her colleagues. The bar décor has set the perfect backdrop
and everybody blends in with they’re outfits.

Once we spot the guys from the gym, we head
over. We briefly greet everybody with a kiss and wish Wills good luck before
she disappears to be the hostess with the mostess.

It’s been a fortnight since I met these guys
and I’ve bumped into most of them at the gym since and chatted with some of
them on social media a few times. I can understand why Wills is friends with
them and I know we’ll have a great time tonight. I did think about Jaxson when
I was getting ready, wondering if he’ll come tonight. Okay,
hoping
that
he’ll come tonight. This time though, rather than letting it consume me I just
thought ‘
que
sera, sera’,what will be will be. It’s sort of like a sub-mantra that I think I
need to do before I can live in the moment, which is exactly what I intend to
do tonight! Still, I can’t shake the pang of disappointment that he’s not here.

It appears water bottles and hip flasks are
popular tonight and the door bouncers have to make sure they’re empty before
bringing them in. I slip away to the bar and get my hip flask filled with shots
of vodka, which I think it going to be a great money spinner for the bar
tonight. I also fetch a large vodka and coke which I intend on topping up with
my flask as and when.

Emma, the receptionist from 24/7, has taken it
upon herself to mark each of us with a black smeared stripe of war paint
beneath each eye, which finishes off my outfit just right. We snap some fab
group photos then take to the dance floor.

At 10pm prompt Wills takes the microphone in
the DJ box and introduces the night. She briefly explains the schedule for the evening,
then tells all females to move to the left and all males to the right. The DJ
starts playing a mashup of girl power lyrics from popular songs quickly
followed by some hip hop tracks and grimy rap lyrics representing the men. It
hypes the crowds up even more so when Wills takes the mic to the centre of the dance
floor, standing in-between the two sides, the atmosphere is buzzing with a sea
of smiling faces.

She gives everybody a few minutes to mingle and
decide on a name for their troop. We go for Perfect Pussy Platoon and the men
go for Big Balls Brigade. After bantering with the crowds like a pro, Wills
clears the dance floor and announces the first mission.

The missions are played in good spirits and are
testament to Wills creativity and precise planning. There’s challenges like
getting each team to come up with as many different sex positions as possible
in a minute, using a male and female Stryders employee as their willing
partners. That one was funny to watch, there were arms and legs flinging in
every direction like ragdolls.

Another similar game, keeping the same Stryders
volunteers but different team players, they had to burst as many balloons as
possible against each other’s bodies, again in sexual positions and poses.

There’s been six missions at the moment and the
boys are winning 4-2. There’s loads of banter amongst our group as well as the
whole room. Everybody seems in good spirits and it’s looking like tonight’s
going to be a great success for Wills and Stryders.

The place is comfortably full and the bouncers
do an excellent job stopping it from feeling claustrophobic by keeping the capacity
balanced. Next time I get a drink the flirty bartender kindly offers to fill my
water bottle up with chilled water and crushed ice, which is ideal because all
the dancing I’m doing in-between watching the missions is heating me up. I
hustle my way through sexy army clad bodies and when I look to where I’m
heading, my steps falter as I see that Jaxson and a couple of other guys I
don’t recognise have joined the group… And there it is, that magnetic, almost
tangible pull between us.

I will myself to remain composed but
apprehension creeps up on me so I stop and take a sip of my ice-cold water,
hoping it’ll extinguish the sudden roaring heat inside of me. I begin to weave
my way back over deliberately slowly, giving myself time to chill the fuck out.

I’m excited he’s here but sceptical about our
next interaction. He is chatting with somebody at first and then swings his
attention round as though I’ve just wolf whistled him. He notices me through
the crowd and I wonder if he feels it too. Jaxson drops his chin and pulls his mirrored
pilot style glasses halfway down the bridge of his nose. Our eyes lock in and I
swear his scorch my mind like a branding iron; J – A – X – S – O – N. I’ve just
been either blessed or cursed with the need to fantasize about this man for
eternity.

That familiar surge of energy rushes between
us, reconnects us. Jeez, how can he do this to me from across a crowded room? This
man is either a sexual magician or I’m being hormonally irrational. Just as a
troop of marching soldiers block our view, I opt for the latter and divert my
path towards the toilets instead.
Chicken!

A couple of minutes later I reach the corridor leading
to the ladies and I feel his unmistakable strong hand wrap around my wrist, spinning
me back around to face him. My eye line takes me straight to his inked biceps and
forearms. They’re even more apparent tonight, as is the affect his tattoos have
on me. I have none and marvel at how intrigued they have me. Instead of going
for the obvious sleeveless vest that every other muscular man appears to have
chosen, Jaxson is wearing a subtle black short-sleeved tee. It’s just fitting
enough for me to enjoy his hard earned lines – I’ve already fantasised about
how they appear to form an X-rated treasure map that my body is desperate to
discover and explore.

Jaxson has dark green and black combat trousers
and black army boots on. I’m pleasantly surprised he’s made such an effort, but
he would’ve looked out of place if he hadn’t. Either way, I have a clearer view
of him now and despite the intimidating built-like-a-brick-shithouse exterior,
I warm to him – Well, I damn near melt.

He lets go of my wrist and towers over me a
little more than when I was on the stool so I feel less able to keep up any
sort of pretence. I notice Emma has marked him with his stripes that are
peeking out from beneath his sunglasses.

My whole body clenches at the sight of him. This
kind of reaction is so alien to me. It’s more than being smitten, there’s no
fitting word to describe this rollercoaster ride. It’s like I’m a glutton for
punishment; letting my head fill up on all of his deliciousness knowing that’s
as far as I’ll let it go. When it comes to Jaxson, I will be salivating over
the all-you-can-eat buffet from afar.

“You’re making a habit of disappearing on me—or
are you meeting your
date
in the ladies?” Mmm, that voice. Time to face
the music.

“Hey Jaxson… No, I’m erm… I’m not doing
that—actually I’m not a-a—” He thankfully bails me out by interrupting my
nervous stuttering.

“—a lesbian? I’m pleased to hear it, but I’d
keep your voice down… If the lesbians of your
Pussy Platoon
find out,
you’ll be fucked… No, I mean it—literally fucked!” I giggle. Thankfully he doesn’t
seem to think I’m a complete idiot then. “Soooo should I be offended that I
scared you into a woman’s arms—or legs?”

“No, no. I’m sorry, it was stupid of me. I’m
not used to getting that sort of
attention
and I panicked, it was
childish of me. I’m sorry.” Miss Alter Ego seemingly leaving the honest Miss Innocent
to deal with this situation, which I appreciate. “Look, I enjoyed meeting you. I
don’t want there to be any sort of
weirdness
between us, especially
because we seem to cross paths often. Maybe we can start again?”

“I’m not even sure that’s possible Beth, you
put on quite a memorable show!” His smile widens.
Don’t look at his mouth
Beth.
“So, like me, you’re straight and
single
right, just so I know
where I stand?” As much as I want to sound sirens and have neon flashing signs
pointing at me declaring “I Want You”, I’m still haunted by my obsessive
thoughts of disappointing him and crushing what little sexual confidence I have
left after last week.