Lost & Found (20 page)

‘I know, but with so much on her mind, I’m sure Mavis did her best.’

‘The housework is probably being neglected, just as I am.’

‘Mother, you know her father’s dying and she’s dreadfully upset. If you hadn’t changed your mind, I think she really would have left.’

‘I could have died too, Alec, and you seem to have forgotten that,’ Edith snapped, annoyed to hear her son standing up for Mavis and determined to nip it in the bud.

‘I’m just glad you’re all right,’ Alec said, but then his eyes moved to the bedside table. ‘Why are your pills in here? You know I like them kept in the cupboard and out of the children’s reach.’

With so much on her mind, Edith didn’t think before she lied, ‘Because Mavis forgot to give me any this morning and I didn’t want it to happen again. All she cares about is her father and I’ve been dreadfully neglected.’

‘Mother, you became ill because you overdosed on painkillers and said that Mavis was to blame for giving you too many. Now you’re saying that she forgot to give you any pills. This doesn’t make sense.’

Edith cursed her woolly mind, and knew that somehow she would have to respond carefully. ‘Oh, dear, I’m so tired, confused, and don’t know if I’m coming or going. Maybe it really was my fault, but I just can’t seem to remember,’ she said, forcing a sob of distress.

‘Please, don’t upset yourself,’ Alec soothed. ‘You’re all right, and that’s all that matters. Now try to rest and I’ll put these away.’

Edith could do nothing to stop Alec as he walked out of the room with the bottle of pills. Her mind was getting worse, her thoughts more confused, yet Edith was aware that this time she had gone too far—pushed her daughter-in-law too far.

With a snort of annoyance, Edith knew she had to ensure that Mavis stayed, and to achieve that it would mean she would have to be kinder, perhaps show a little appreciation. It wouldn’t be easy. It still rankled that Mavis had tried to take her son away from her, but she had no fear of that happening in the future. She had seen to it that Alec had no respect for Mavis, that he thought his wife a fool.

Yes, Edith thought with satisfaction, her son was hers again now, and she, his mother, the most important woman in his life. Yet Edith also knew that to make sure she didn’t become a burden to Alec, her daughter-in-law had to remain.

Mavis ignored Alec as he walked into the kitchen, but turned her head when he spoke.

‘My mother’s pills were in her room. I’ll put them away before she does the same thing again.’

‘Oh, so you believe me now?’ Mavis said, unable to keep the sarcasm from her tone.

‘Yes, and I’m sorry for doubting you.’

‘Well, that’s something,’ she said, turning back to the washing up and hoping that Alec would just go away.

‘Mavis…we need to talk.’

‘Not now, I’m busy,’ she snapped.

‘All right, but maybe later,’ he said, saying no more as he left the kitchen.

Mavis washed the dishes and then put them away before going to her mother-in-law’s room. ‘I’d like to sit with my father. Is there anything else you need before I go?’

‘No, my dear, don’t worry about me. You have enough to do and as Alec is here now, he can fetch me anything I need.’

‘Yes, I’ll see to her,’ Alec agreed.

‘Oh, Mavis, I might have to call you if I need the commode. Is that all right?’

‘Yes, of course,’ Mavis said, surprised by Edith’s kindly tone, but dismissing it from her mind as she went upstairs to her father’s room. ‘Mum, how is he?’

‘The same, but I don’t think his breathing is any worse.’

‘Did you manage to get him to eat any of that soup?’

‘No, he wouldn’t touch it.’

Mavis pulled up another chair, still speaking softly as she said, ‘Did you mean what you said?’

‘Mean what?’

‘That I can come to live with you? The children too?’

‘Of course not, you daft cow. I ain’t got room
for you lot and was only bluffing. Of course, Alec and his flaming mother don’t know that, but it certainly did the trick.’

Mavis felt tears filling her eyes. Yes, she was daft, stupid enough to think that her mother would take her in. For a while she had dared to hope but the bubble had burst now. With nowhere to go she’d have to stay here, but as her father moaned softly Mavis leaned forward. He was all that mattered for now, and she closed her eyes in prayer, begging God to let him live.

Pete looked anxiously at the clock. It was after eight but where was Lily? She had left a note to say she’d gone to see Mavis, but should have been back by now. He paced up and down, and then grabbed his coat, deciding to tell Marilyn where he was going in case he and Lily crossed paths.

Marilyn said she’d keep an eye out for Lily, and now Pete was frantically looking for a taxi. A bus would take too long and though a cab would cost a fortune Pete was too worried to care. Something must have happened. But what?

At last he arrived and was thumping on the door, his face creased with anxiety as Alec Pugh answered it. ‘I’m looking for Lily. Is she still here?’

‘Yes, she’s upstairs,’ Alec said as he stood back to let him in.

‘Is she all right?’

‘Er…yes, she’s fine.’

‘What is it then? Is it one of your kids?’

‘No,’ Alec said. ‘I’m afraid it’s Mavis’s father. He’s very ill and they’re both sitting with him.’

‘Ron! He’s here?’

‘Yes, but as I said he’s very ill. If you’d like to wait I’ll go and get Mavis.’

Wait! No, he wasn’t going to wait, and though Alec protested, Pete followed him upstairs. My God, after all these years Ron had turned up—but why hadn’t Lily put that in her note?

‘Pete,’ Lily cried, jumping to her feet as he walked into the room.

‘What’s going on, Lily?’

She moved towards him, urging quietly, ‘Come outside.’

He ignored her, instead walking over to the bed, shocked at what he saw. This couldn’t be Ron, this skeletal form, barely breathing. ‘Bloody hell, Lily.’

‘He’s dying, Pete,’ she said, her voice barely above a whisper. ‘I had to stay. I…I couldn’t come home.’

‘No, of course you couldn’t,’ Pete murmured. He looked down at Ron, unable to work out his feelings. This man had been his friend, one who had saved his life during the war, and there was a part of him that felt a deep sadness. Yet sickeningly there was another side that felt relief. He knew that Lily had loved Ron, had feared his return, knowing that, despite what she said, when that happened he’d lose her. He had nothing to
fear now. Ron was dying, and Lily would be free to marry him, eliminating the worry that their child would be born a bastard.

Pete shook his head in disgust at his own thoughts, and then moving to stand by Lily again, he said, ‘I’m sorry, love. Are you all right?’

‘It’s just so awful to see him like this.’

‘Yeah, it is, but how did he get in that state?’

‘We don’t know. Kate Truman and her husband found him in an empty house in Cullen Street. Apparently he was looking for me,’ she said, before breaking down in tears.

Pete pulled her into his arms, aware immediately of her resistance. He knew why. It was Ron she wanted. It was Ron that she had always wanted, but somehow he had to hold on. Pete knew that Lily had never really loved him, and maybe she never would, but he couldn’t face life without her.

Lily was glad when Pete finally left. It had been awkward while he was there, and she had felt that she could no longer hold Ron’s hand. Mavis had gone downstairs to get Edith sorted out for the night, the girl looking as exhausted as Lily felt.

She had seen little of her daughter since Mavis had married Alec, and maybe that was why, but Lily was surprised to hear how sensible Mavis sounded, how capable she was. She could see now why some people didn’t think that Mavis was
backward, but, of course, as her mother, Lily knew better.

Ron opened his eyes, and Lily leaned forward. ‘I’m here,’ she whispered.

He struggled to speak, but it was too much for him and it was all Lily could do to stem her tears. She threw an arm over his frail body. ‘Oh, Ron, I love you. I’ll always love you.’

She saw a ghost of a smile on his lips, but then he closed his eyes again. For a moment Lily thought he’d gone and her stomach jerked, but then slumped with relief when she saw that he was still breathing.

The thought of losing him was more than she could bear, and clutching his hand Lily willed him to live. ‘Don’t let go, Ron. Please, don’t let go.’

It was fifteen minutes later when Mavis came into the room carrying two cups. ‘How is he, Mum?’

‘He’s still with us, but we’ve got to face it, love, he’s getting worse.’

Lily could see that Mavis was fighting tears as she said, ‘I’ve made us both a cup of coffee.’

‘Thanks, love,’ Lily said, taking it gratefully and feeling a twinge of guilt. Mavis had been up and down stairs all day, but she’d done little to help. ‘Has Alec gone to bed?’

‘Yes, ten minutes ago.’

He hadn’t bothered to say goodnight to her,
but Lily wasn’t surprised. Alec had always been uppity, looking down his nose at her—his mother too. Still, she’d sorted Edith Pugh out, the woman’s dependence on Mavis giving Lily her ammunition. Mavis should take a leaf out of her book, Lily thought, but the girl had always been too soft for her own good. ‘Is Edith settled for the night too?’

‘Yes, and I’m just glad that Jenny offered to have the children. They’ve never spent the night away from home before, I hope they’re all right.’

‘Blimey, Mavis, they’re only next door. Jenny seems a nice sort and I’m sure they’re fine.’

With a sigh, Mavis sat down, the two of them gazing at Ron as they sipped their coffee until Lily said, ‘Mavis, you don’t really want to leave Alec, do you?’

‘I can’t so there’s no point in talking about it.’

‘I thought you were happy. What changed?’

‘My mother-in-law.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘She was fine at first, teaching me to read, but then…’

‘Teaching you to read?’ Lily interrupted. ‘But you can’t read, you never could.’

‘Yes, but it isn’t because I’m backward. Edith did some research and found out that I have something called word blindness.’

‘What’s that? I’ve never heard of it.’

‘Neither had I, but apparently it’s a medical condition. In some cases learning to read is possible, but mine is very severe and, though she tried to teach me, I found it impossible.’

‘But why didn’t you tell me?’

‘At first it was because I wanted to surprise you, to see your face when I read to you. For once I wanted you to be proud of me; but when Edith finally gave up, I couldn’t see the point in telling you.’

‘Why ever not?’

‘Mum, without proof, I knew you’d never believe me.’

Lily felt sick inside. Edith Pugh, Kate Truman and Pete, among others, had been right. Mavis wasn’t backward. It was a medical condition that prevented her from reading, nothing else. Guilt almost overwhelmed her. She’d been ashamed of her daughter, found it hard to love her, and had treated her like a moron. ‘Oh, Mavis, if you’d explained this word blindness thing I would have believed you, really I would.’

‘Well, you know now and so far there’s no sign that either James or Grace has inherited the same problem. I was worried sick at first and, unable to help James when he started school, I had to rely on Alec. He and Edith are keen to see that both children have a good education and are equally relieved to see that they show no signs of it.’

Lily’s hands moved to cup her stomach. She’d been worried sick about the baby—worried that it would be born backward like Mavis. But her daughter was fine, and her new child would be too. She had nothing to fear now.

‘Mum, why are you holding your tummy? Are you all right?’

‘I’m just upset about your dad and feel a little bit sick, that’s all,’ Lily said. Mavis didn’t know that she was pregnant, and this was hardly the time to tell her. With two children of her own it might come as a bit of a shock to hear that she was going to have a half brother or sister, and that the baby would be an aunt or uncle to James and Grace.

Alec could hear the soft murmur of voices drifting from the spare room as he lay in bed, deep in thought. He’d been shocked to find that his mother had overdosed on painkillers and furious at first at what he’d thought was his wife’s negligence.

Alec shifted uncomfortably. Yet it hadn’t been Mavis at fault, it was his mother, and he now feared that her illness had affected her mind. She seemed so confused and complained of neglect, had in fact been complaining about Mavis’s lack of care for some time. Lily Jackson had disputed it, said that his mother had run Mavis ragged and, in light of the fiasco with the pills, Alec believed her.

He turned onto his side, plumped up his
pillow, yet still couldn’t sleep. He knew his mother hated disruption and, if Ron Jackson had just been ill, wanting him to leave would have been understandable. Yet he wasn’t just ill, the man was dying, and it had shocked him that despite knowing that fact, his mother had still wanted him thrown out. It seemed overly harsh, cruel, another reason to think that his mother’s mind was going.

If her father had been made to leave, would Mavis really have gone with him? Alec didn’t know, but there was no denying the threat had seemed real enough. Mavis had said she hated him, but surely that wasn’t true? No, he assured himself. Of course Mavis loved him, though in all honesty he couldn’t say he felt the same about her.

Alec knew that he’d been besotted with Mavis at first, but of course it had just been lust, and though he knew his mother was right, that Mavis lacked intelligence, their sex life was something he still enjoyed. Other than that, Mavis was pretty much useless and though his mother may have been wrong on this occasion, there was no denying the fact that Mavis was incapable of doing anything else without instruction.

Despite his wife’s failings, Alec was sure that he’d been a good husband. He worked hard to ensure that Mavis and the children were well provided for, and though she had the burden of
looking after his mother, her life now was far superior to the one she had left.

Frowning, Alec again plumped up his pillow. Mavis had stood up to him, argued with him, and he still wasn’t sure how long he should put up with that sort of behaviour. At last Alec felt himself drifting off to sleep, his last thought that he’d give Mavis a little leeway, try to show a bit of understanding, but once things got back to normal she had better not raise her voice to him again.

It was two in the morning and Lily was struggling to stay awake. Mavis was bent over, her head on the bed as she dozed fitfully. It was a cold February and Lily was glad that there was a small electric fire to heat the room, yet even so she shivered.

Since that last time, Ron hadn’t opened his eyes, and Lily knew by his breathing that he was now clinging on to life by a thread. She leaned forward again, her mouth close to his ear as she whispered, ‘I’m still here, love, still with you and…and wherever you go, you’ll take a piece of my heart with you.’

Mavis lifted her head, her eyes glazed, unfocused, and in the dim light that glowed from the bedside lamp, for a split second, Lily found that looking at her daughter was like looking at Ron, the young, handsome and vigorous man she had married.

‘Mum, he hasn’t gone, has he?’

‘No, he’s still with us, but…but he’s worse. Here, change places with me. Talk to your dad. He still might be able to hear you.’

They exchanged chairs and, taking her father’s hand, Mavis said, ‘Dad, it’s me, Mavis. Don’t go, don’t leave me again. Please, Dad, other than Gran you’re the only one who ever stood up for me, who cared. You…you can’t die. You can’t.’

As she listened to her daughter, Lily felt as though her heart would break. She’d been a rotten mother who hadn’t shown Mavis an ounce of love or affection. She wasn’t fit to have another baby, didn’t deserve another baby, but then Lily heard an awful sound and cried out in anguish. It was the death rattle, the last breath that left Ron’s body as he slipped from this world.

‘No, Ron! No!’ Lily cried, rearing to her feet, but then Lily felt a stirring in her stomach. She shivered, covered in goosebumps, and it felt as though every hair on her body was standing up on end.

‘Dad, Dad,’ Mavis sobbed, throwing herself across his body.

Lily fought to stop the thought that flew into her mind. It was madness, of course it was madness, but she couldn’t let it go. At the moment of Ron’s death her baby had stirred to life, almost as though the two had become entwined. Stop it,
stop it, she told herself. It was impossible, of course it was impossible.

Mavis was still sobbing, and Lily knew that somehow she had to find the strength to comfort her. She’d been a useless mother, but perhaps now she could start to put it right. She pulled her daughter away from Ron’s body, gently cajoling, ‘Come on, sweetheart. He’s gone now, he’s at peace.’

‘Oh, Mum, Mum…’

‘I know, darling, I know,’ Lily murmured, and urging Mavis to her feet she pulled the girl into her arms. Mavis clung to her, both of them in tears, both grieving. Mavis for her father, and Lily for the only man she had ever really loved.