Lost & Found (26 page)

Winter came in with force on a Friday in early December, an icy wind rattling the windows as Mavis piled more coal onto the fire. James was in school, Grace at the nursery, and though there was housework waiting to be done, Mavis couldn’t yet face going upstairs to tackle the freezing bedrooms.

As time had passed, and at Jenny’s urging, they had been to the reference library where her friend had looked up her mother-in-law’s symptoms, finally finding conclusive evidence that Mavis wasn’t to blame for Edith’s death. Mavis had tried to explain that to Alec but he wouldn’t listen, and, if anything, her efforts had increased his wrath.

She hated this house, and now that winter was here it was a prison again; only nowadays Mavis waited in fear for her jailer to come home. If only she were stronger, if only she could stand up to
Alec, but if she tried he would turn on James or even Grace, and she couldn’t bear that.

As long as she could keep the children safe, that was all that mattered, Mavis thought as she sat by the fire, rubbing her bruised arm as she thought about what happened earlier that morning. All she had done was to break the yolk when she was frying an egg for Alec’s breakfast, but it had been enough to arouse his violence—violence that had steadily increased since August. There was nothing in Alec’s eyes but hate now. Hate when he took her body, inflicting yet more bruises over the old ones.

When there was a ring on the doorbell, she hurried along the hall. It would be Jenny, and Mavis forced a smile as she opened the door. ‘Hello, come on in.’

‘It’s bitter out there,’ Jenny said, leaving her coat on until she got to the kitchen where she eyed the blazing fire with appreciation. ‘I’ve banked mine up and it’ll be fine till I get back.’

‘Sit down,’ Mavis invited. ‘I’ll make us a coffee.’

‘Do you know what I hate about the winter, Mavis? I hate having wet washing draped all over my kitchen. How come I never see any in yours? In fact, your kitchen always looks immaculate and you put mine to shame.’

‘You know how fussy Alec is. I prefer yours. It’s homely, lived-in.’

‘You mean it’s always in a mess,’ Jenny said, chuckling as she held her hands out to the flames.

Yes, it might be a mess, Mavis thought as she made two cups of coffee, but she envied Jenny so much. Envied her happy home and marriage, and longed for such happiness too. She couldn’t go on for much longer, Mavis knew that, but with no money of her own, no means of supporting or feeding her children, she was trapped in this house, her marriage not only loveless, but violent now too.

‘How’s your mum and the baby, Mavis?’ asked Jenny.

‘They’re fine, though I haven’t seen them for a while. When the children break up from school I’ll be able to take them to Peckham again, and I can’t wait to see baby Bobby.’

‘Oh, it’s Bobby now, is it? Not Robert?’

‘Yes, and funnily enough it was Grace who started it off. She just couldn’t say Robert and it came out as Wobbert. It was my mum who suggested Bobby.’

‘For a baby, somehow it sounds cuter.’

Mavis had to stifle a groan as she turned too quickly, her back so sore from the punch Alec had taken pleasure in giving her last night.

Sharp-eyed Jenny missed nothing, her face showing concern as she asked, ‘What’s wrong, Mavis? You’ve gone a bit pale.’

‘It’s nothing, just a bit of backache,’ Mavis said as she handed Jenny her drink. She had hidden Alec’s violence since it started not long after Edith’s death, afraid that he would take it out on the children if she opened her mouth.

Even if she did tell Jenny, or her mum, Mavis knew there was no escape. Her mother didn’t have room to take her in and now only her dreams kept Mavis going. One day the children would grow up, would leave home, and when that happened she would do the same. She’d leave Alec, and if she had to spend her life cleaning for other people to raise enough money to live on, it would be heaven after this.

For now she had to endure it and, forcing another smile, she sat down opposite her friend. Jenny began to talk about Christmas and as it was only a few weeks away it remained the subject of the conversation until Jenny said that it was time for her to go.

Mavis walked with her to the door, shutting it behind her friend as the walls of the house closed in on her again. How many years stretched ahead of her before she could be free? So many, so many. Unbidden tears welled in her eyes.

She walked to the hall cupboard and took out the vacuum cleaner, her heart heavy as she began the housework.

Lily was battling the wind as she pushed the pram home. There were few people around, but as she turned into Harwood Street her eyes widened. There was a van parked outside Mrs Biggs’s house, men loading furniture onto it. The old girl must be moving and that suited Lily just fine.

Since Lily had married Pete, Mrs Biggs had been on a campaign against her, but thankfully she hadn’t won the battle. Few believed her story, but it hadn’t stopped the old girl from doing her utmost to make Lily’s life a misery. She was determined to get her out of the street, but all her efforts had backfired. Most people supported Lily and Mrs Biggs had become very unpopular.

Lily knocked on Marilyn’s door, a wide smile on her face. ‘Mrs Biggs is moving out.’

‘Yeah, I saw the van when it arrived. She’s lived here for donkey’s years and I can’t believe she’s leaving.’

Lily turned her head as Mrs Biggs appeared, berating the removals men to be careful with her sideboard.

‘Yes, you can look,’ the old woman snapped when she saw Lily, ‘and I hope you’re satisfied. You might have fooled everyone else but you haven’t fooled me and I refuse to live next door to a tart.’

‘Lily isn’t a tart,’ Marilyn snapped as she stepped over her doorstep, clutching her cardigan around her chest as she was hit by a blast of wind.

‘Yes, she is, and your daughter is going down the same road.’

‘How…how dare you!’ Marilyn blustered.

‘Oh, I dare, and what do you expect? No doubt she’s been tainted by the likes of
her
, and with this street going to wrack and ruin I’m glad I’m moving in with my son. Thank God he moved away before he too became tainted.’

‘It’s more like you drove him away,’ Marilyn said. ‘Blimey, I don’t envy his wife if you’re moving in.’

To Lily’s surprise, the old woman’s face crumbled.

‘You’ve done this,’ she said, looking Lily in the eye. ‘I moved here on my wedding day and it’s been my home for over forty years, but you…you’ve turned everyone against me.’

‘No, she didn’t,’ Marilyn said. ‘It was your own doing and you shouldn’t have gone around spreading lies. Now come on, Lily, come inside. It’s freezing out here.’

Lily couldn’t look at Mrs Biggs as she pushed the pram over Marilyn’s doorstep. She felt awful. Mrs Biggs had told the truth, but just because she’d lived with Pete it didn’t make her a tart. She just thanked her lucky stars that nobody had believed Mrs Biggs—that she could continue to live in Harwood Street with her head held high.

Alec strode home from work, fuming. He’d been called in to see his superior, told that his work was no longer up to standard, and though the man had sympathised with his loss, he’d nevertheless warned that he’d been given enough leeway and there had to be a marked improvement in his office and management skills.

All right, Alec thought, he’d let things slide a bit, but there’d been no mention of all he’d achieved before—his successes in bringing the office up to scratch now forgotten.

Shivering after leaving his warm office, Alec thrust his hands into the pockets of his overcoat, cursing that he’d been unable to find his leather gloves when he had left for work that morning. Of course, Mavis denied moving them, but Alec was sure he’d left them on the hall table. Useless, his wife was useless.

At last Alec arrived home, still fuming with anger as he went inside. He took off his overcoat, hung it in the cupboard, and as he approached the kitchen he could hear the children giggling.

All went silent as Alec walked in, three pairs of eyes looking at him in fear. This was what Alec loved, being in control, the house ruled by a man now instead of a woman. Yes, his mother had always been in charge, of the house, of him, but not any more. Not now.

His expression was hard as he looked at James
and Grace, saying abruptly, ‘Get out of my sight. Go to your rooms.’

‘Alec, the bedrooms are freezing,’ Mavis protested.

That was enough for Alec. How dare she undermine him! All his anger, all his shame at being hauled before his superior, was swiftly taken out on Mavis as the children fled the room in terror.

‘Come on, you little bruiser,’ Lily said as she lifted her son onto her lap. His chubby legs kicked, his hands clutched into fists, and Lily grinned. Bobby was certainly living up to his reputation. It was a new year, 1963, and he’d soon be six months old, yet still looked like a boxer. Bobby chuckled as Lily bounced him on her lap, dribble running down his chin, and Lily felt her heart would burst with love.

When the front door opened Lily looked up, surprised to see Pete coming in. ‘What’s this? No work?’

‘It’s tipping down with rain and it ain’t safe to be up on the scaffolding. I told the blokes to bugger off home and I’ve done the same.’

‘You’ll still have to pay them.’

‘Don’t worry, we’re doing fine and I can stand the loss.’

Lily smiled happily. Pete had finally started up
his own business and so far he was doing really well. He loved being his own boss, relished the challenge, and what’s more he’d found a good crew to work for him.

‘Hello, Bobby, my boy,’ he said. ‘Give your daddy a smile.’

The baby did just that and Pete grinned proudly. ‘Look at the size of those legs,’ he said, taking him from Lily’s arms.

‘Pete, I know you’ve only just come in, but when you’ve dried out and warmed up, would you take me over to see Mavis?’

‘You rang her yesterday and she put you off again.’

‘Yes, but on Sundays Alec’s there. If we go today he’ll be at work and it’ll give me a chance to find out what’s going on.’

‘Yeah, all right. Get yourself ready and we’ll go.’

It was over an hour later when they arrived in Ellington Avenue and they were just in time to see Mavis hurrying along the street, clutching Grace’s hand, the child having to run to keep up with her mother.

Lily handed Bobby to Pete, and then struggled to open her umbrella as she climbed out of the van. ‘Hello, Mavis.’

‘Mum! What are you doing here?’

‘Do I need a reason to visit my daughter?’ Lily asked brusquely, before she went round to the
other side of the van, taking Bobby in her arms and doing her best to shield him from the rain.

‘I’ve just been to collect Grace from nursery and we’re soaked. Let’s get inside,’ Mavis urged.

Lily moved quickly and with Pete behind her she shoved her umbrella at him as she followed Mavis into the house. He stood on the step, shaking it madly, while Mavis took off Grace’s wet coat, and then her own.

Lily did the same and as Mavis took it from her, Lily opened the living room door, only to stop in her tracks.

‘Don’t go in there, Mum. It’s warmer in the kitchen.’

‘What’s going on? Why haven’t you turned this back into your living room?’

‘Because Alec won’t let me.’

‘Won’t let you? What do you mean?’ Lily asked as she followed Mavis to the kitchen. A lovely fire was burning in the grate and Lily sat next to it, Bobby in her arms. ‘Pete, get that wet coat off and sit down too,’ she ordered as he hovered uncertainly.

‘Yes, give it to me and I’ll hang it up,’ Mavis suggested.

As soon as her daughter returned, Lily said, ‘Now then, Mavis, I asked you about Edith’s room.’

‘Alec just wants it left as it is.’

‘That’s bloody daft.’

‘I dunno, Lily,’ Pete said. ‘Grief takes people in different ways. My old mum hung on to my dad’s clothes for years. She said she could still smell him on them and refused to let us chuck them away.’

‘Clothes, yeah, I can sort of understand that. But a whole room? It’s like he’s turned it into some sort of shrine. It ain’t healthy.’

‘It’s been under six months, Lily. Give the bloke time.’

Grace was fascinated by Bobby, and now that he could sit up Lily placed him on the rug. Bobby was equally fascinated, his hands reaching out to grab Grace as he chuckled happily.

‘I…I’ll make you a cup of tea,’ Mavis said.

Lily frowned. Her daughter looked awful, pale and thin. ‘What’s going on, Mavis?’

‘Going on? I don’t know what you mean.’

‘Don’t act all innocent with me, my girl. You ain’t been yourself for ages.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘No, you’re not. Now tell me what’s going on,’ Lily demanded again.

‘Mum, please, don’t bully me,’ Mavis begged as she turned away. ‘I can’t take any more, I really can’t.’

‘What are you talking about? I’m not bullying you,’ Lily said as stood up to walk over to Mavis. She took her daughter’s arm, turning Mavis to face
her, but couldn’t fail to miss her wince of pain. ‘Sorry, love, I didn’t mean to hurt you.’

‘Daddy hurts Mummy,’ Grace said.

Shocked, Lily spun round. ‘What do you mean, darling?’

‘No, Grace. No, he doesn’t,’ Mavis said hurriedly.

‘He smacks Mummy.’

Lily took her daughter’s arm again, and though Mavis tried to resist, she pushed up the sleeve of her jumper, eyes boggling. ‘My God, look at those bruises. Did Alec do that?’

‘No, no, I fell over, that’s all.’

‘Don’t take me for a mug, Mavis. Tell me the truth.’

Mavis lowered her eyes, paused, but then said, ‘All right, Alec did it, but he didn’t mean to bruise me. He just gripped my arms a little too tightly, that’s all.’

Lily didn’t believe her daughter, and shook her head impatiently. ‘That isn’t what Grace said.’

‘Mum, she’s just a child.’

‘Grace has seen something, that’s for sure, and it isn’t Alec just gripping your arms,’ Lily snapped as the awful truth gripped her mind. The doorbell rang, and impatiently she said, ‘You stay where you are. I’ll get it.’

Lily was soon at the front door where she yanked it open to peer at the young woman standing there, an umbrella held over her head. Though it had
been a long time since she’d seen her daughter’s friend and neighbour, she recognised her. ‘It’s Jenny, isn’t it? Come in,’ Lily said.

‘No, it’s all right, I’ll go. I usually pop round for a coffee about this time, or Mavis comes to my place. I didn’t realise she had visitors today.’

Lily wondered if Jenny knew what was going on, and leaning forward she said quietly, ‘Grace has just told me that Alec hits Mavis. Do you know anything about it?’

Jenny’s eyes rounded. ‘Hits her? No, surely not? I know Alec can be difficult, but he just doesn’t seem the type. What does Mavis say about it?’

‘She denied it, of course, but I saw some nasty bruises on her arm.’

‘Bruises? I don’t like the sound of that.’

Lily’s eyes narrowed in thought. ‘I’d like to get to the bottom of this, but I doubt Mavis will talk about it in front of Grace. I know she’s fond of you and if I bring her round to your place, between us we might be able to get her to open up. Pete’s here with me and he won’t mind keeping an eye on Grace.’

‘You’re on,’ Jenny said. ‘I’ll shoot back home, but you’ll have to think up some sort of excuse for coming round.’

‘Leave it to me,’ Lily said, thinking hard as she hurried back to the kitchen and was pleased when she came up with an answer. ‘Pete, would you mind
looking after Grace and Bobby? We won’t be long, but Jenny next door is in a bit of a state and needs a bit of help.’

‘Jenny! What’s wrong with her?’ Mavis asked worriedly.

‘I’ve just said, ain’t I? She needs a bit of help. Now come on, Mavis, get a move on.’ With that Lily rushed out again, leaving Pete looking bemused; but thankfully Mavis followed her.

‘Mum, is Jenny all right?’

‘You’ll see in a minute,’ Lily said and they hurried next door.

Jenny was waiting to usher them inside, saying nothing as she led them to the kitchen. Once there she said, ‘Please, both of you, sit down.’

‘Jenny, what’s wrong?’ Mavis asked anxiously.

‘With me, nothing. It’s you we’re worried about.’

‘Me! But why? I’m fine.’

‘No, you’re not,’ Lily said firmly. ‘Now, tell me the truth. How did you get those bruises on your arm?’

‘I…I can’t tell you.’

‘Don’t be daft. Of course you can.’

‘Alec, he…he’d take it out on James or Grace.’

Jenny gasped. ‘Oh, no! I saw bruises on James when he was staying with us and suspected that Alec was heavy-handed. He hits him too, doesn’t he?’

‘No, no, he used to smack James, but not any
more, not now. It…it’s only me.’ And now that she had started, something in Mavis broke. It all came out as, between sobs, she told them everything while Lily and Jenny listened in horror.

Lily was rigid with anger. How dare he? How dare Alec hit her daughter? She wasn’t going to stand for this and her need to protect her daughter became all-consuming. It was then that the truth hit Lily in a rush. She loved Mavis, really loved her, but it had taken this to wake her up. Maybe it was the life she’d once been forced to lead, the need to flog her guts out to keep a roof over their heads, along with the way that Ron had always let her down. She’d been too wrapped up in herself, ashamed of her so-called backward daughter, so unhappy that she had taken her pain out on Mavis. Selfish, self-centred, that’s what she’d been and now the thought sickened Lily. She had pushed Mavis away instead of loving her. Yet the love must have always been there—how else could she be feeling it now?

‘Oh, Mum, what am I going to do now? If Alec finds out I’ve told you, he’ll go mad.’

‘You leave him to me. He won’t touch you again, I’ll see to that.’

‘No, Mum, please. I have to live with him and if you say anything, it’ll make things worse.’

‘No, Mavis, you don’t have to live with him. You ain’t alone, you’ve got me, and I’ll sort something out.’

‘How, Mum? You haven’t got room for me and I’ve nowhere else to go.’

Lily wanted to take Mavis and the children in, to keep them near to her, and even if they had to sleep on the floor, she’d find a way. Wait, though, there was a solution. Her eyes lit up. ‘Mavis, the house next door to me is still empty. I’ll have a word with the landlord; ask him if you can rent it.’

Mavis dashed the tears from her cheeks. ‘And how am I supposed to pay the rent, or support the children? I haven’t any money of my own.’

‘I’ll pay it. I’ll support you.’

‘No, Mum, I can’t let you do that.’

Lily crouched down in front of her daughter. She’d been a bad mother, had taken every penny that Mavis had earned and, if wasn’t for her, the girl wouldn’t have felt forced to marry Alec Pugh. Unlike Mavis, Lily knew that life had been kind to her since then, and, thanks to Pete’s generosity, she had a nice little nest egg tucked away.

‘Listen, love,’ Lily said. ‘I know I wasn’t much of a mother, but give me a chance to make it up to you. I’m not hard up and, anyway, once you file for divorce that bastard will be made to support you and the kids.’

‘I…I don’t know, Mum. I haven’t got any furniture, and I can’t ask you to buy any. Yes, I’d love to be able to leave him, to take the kids
somewhere safe, but it doesn’t seem right to ask you to support us.’

‘You’re not asking. I’m offering. As for furniture, once we know you’ve got the house I can soon pick up some second-hand stuff for next to nothing,’ Lily said as she rose to her feet. ‘In the meantime I’ll put Bobby in with me and Pete, but I haven’t got any spare beds. We’ll have to sort something out, if only mattresses on the floor, so let’s hope we can get hold of some and quickly. The room’s only tiny and it’ll be a bit of a squash, but it shouldn’t be for long.’

‘I can’t believe this,’ Mavis said, her expression bewildered. ‘I’m leaving Alec? Really leaving him?’

‘I could have you here for a while, Mavis, but I doubt you want to stay that close to Alec,’ Jenny said, but then her face took on an animated expression. ‘Hold on, I might have just the answer. Lily, would you mind if Pete runs me down to my cousin’s yard?’

‘No, but what for?’

‘Willy’s got a flat in Wandsworth, and I’m sure if I tell him the circumstances he won’t mind letting Mavis and the kids have it for a while. He can move back in here and problem solved.’

‘I dunno,’ Lily said. ‘I’d prefer to have them with me.’

‘It’s not just Mavis and the children. It’s all their things too, clothes, toys.’

‘We don’t have to take everything now. Just a few bits would do.’

‘You don’t know how Alec’s going to react. When he finds out that Mavis has left him I think he’ll be furious, vindictive enough to chuck everything out.’

‘He wouldn’t dare,’ Lily snapped.

‘You can’t be sure of that.’

With so much going on in her mind, Lily couldn’t think straight. ‘Mavis, what do you think?’

Mavis blinked, the bemused look at last leaving her eyes as she said, ‘Mum, I’d love to come to Peckham now, but Jenny’s right. Alec’s cruel enough to destroy all our things and I’d rather take as much as we can now. Once we’re living next door to you and Pete, he wouldn’t dare to come near us, but until then, as long as Alec can’t find us, the flat might be all right.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Jenny said. ‘You’ll be safe there until you can move to Peckham.’

‘All right, Mavis,’ Lily reluctantly agreed, ‘if you want to take all your stuff, it’ll have to be the flat for now.’

‘Right, you start packing while I go and get Willy’s keys,’ Jenny said.

‘He hasn’t agreed yet,’ Lily warned.

‘He will. I know my cousin and he’s a smashing bloke.’

They all trooped next door where Mavis ran
upstairs to pack, while Lily took Pete to one side. She told him what happened, and, though he at first looked angry on Mavis’s behalf, he quickly agreed to drive Jenny to her cousin’s yard.

‘Yeah, I’ll do it, Lily, but Alec Pugh ain’t getting away with this. I’ll leave it for now, just until we get Mavis sorted out, but then I’ll be back to sort the bastard out.’

‘You and me both, Pete,’ she said, standing on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. ‘But won’t it be nice to have Mavis and my grandchildren living next door?’

‘Yes, love,’ Pete agreed before going with Jenny to the van, leaving Lily praying that the house was still available.

Mavis had stuffed James’s clothes into a suitcase, and now started on Grace’s. She felt as though she was in some kind of wonderful dream, but that at any moment she’d wake up into the nightmare of reality.

Toys, she had to take as many toys as possible, but needed some large boxes. Why wouldn’t her mind function? Why was she running around like a headless chicken? She was getting away from this house, from Alec, but please, if this is a dream, she prayed, don’t let me wake up. Let it go on forever.