Lost Until You (The Sorrentino Brothers Series Book 1) (13 page)

Pat and Phyllis gave Jazz a hug before turning to me. “Take care of my granddaughter,” Phyllis said with a big smile. “You two seem to have a pretty close relationship. That makes me very proud and happy.”

“We do. I love this girl with everything in me.”

I hugged Phyllis, shook Pat’s hand, and then gathered our belongings before walking to the front door. I reached out my hand and said goodbye to Landon.

“Thanks for having us. It was good to finally meet you.”

He returned the handshake. “You too, Brax. Don’t be a stranger, and take care of my niece and that baby of yours.”

“Always,” I replied and pushed open the glass door.

Jazz and I walked to the truck. Brix and Stone weren’t too far behind. Stone was probably thanking the Lander’s for hearing him out tonight. He was in a tough position when we first got here. I was just glad he was at least professional about it. I knew I couldn’t have done what he did. I would have left right away, but Stone stuck around, determined to help my wife. He was a good man.

Now it was time to get Jazz to relax. She had been pulled through the wringer. I was sure she was thinking the worst right now, so once we got home, I would help calm her mind. I couldn’t let her think the worst.

Chapter Fourteen

Jazz

The ride home was silent. You could feel the tension in the air. I had no idea how I should feel. I should’ve been happy, but I was worried the last five years were getting ready to blow up in my face.

I didn’t want to bring anything up in front of anyone. I would rather talk to Brax first in private. If this turned out badly, I didn’t want anyone knowing our business. It would be highly embarrassing.

But who was Uncle Teto? Would this make Brax and I related by blood? Oh, God. The thought of that being remotely possible made my stomach turn.

What in the world would we do if that were the case? What would Savanah think? My anxiety started getting the best of me. This was such a mess.

Closing my eyes, I laid my head back on the seat and tried to force away all of these thoughts. But once again, I couldn’t. Not right now. I needed to have faith in the marriage Brax and I built. I needed to trust and believe that we were okay. I had to. I could not imagine my life without him. He meant everything to me.

We made it home in a little under an hour, because there wasn’t any traffic this late at night. Kelly and Tanya had put Savanah to bed, saying she was out like a light. I had missed her so much it wasn’t even funny. We had thanked the girls, Brix, and Stone for everything they’d done before they went home, promising to fill them in with more details at the Sorrentino’s for Sunday dinner.

This, too, would give Brax and me a chance to talk to Anthony and Amelia. Maybe then, they could help me locate my dad. Although I was nervous, I still needed to know the truth. My heart, soul, and mind couldn’t handle another day like I had today. It was too long and emotional, to say the least.

**

“How do you feel about everything that happened tonight?” Brax crawled in the bed behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

I lay there with my eyes closed, tucked under the comforter. “I don’t know, B. I guess I was scared to ask you earlier, but let’s just say your Uncle Teto happens to be my father. Would that make us related by blood?”

Please, God, say no
.

As much as I wanted to hear him deny it, my heart dropped as I spoke the words aloud.

“No way, baby,” he promised, clearly sounding certain. “My uncle isn’t technically my uncle. He’s my dad’s second cousin somewhere along the line, but there’s no way we can be blood related. My brothers and I have called him our uncle since we were little.”

Relief washed through my body. For thinking the worst possible scenario, I had forced myself into fear mode once again. I should have known better, but whenever fear took a hold of my thoughts, it was only a matter of time before anxiety would hit, trapping me inside of a bubble full of doubt and worry. I hated it. I hated the thoughts, the visions, the whole aspect of how my mind tried to control my body. However, that was what happened when you battled GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) every single day. It was a never-ending process. If you stopped fighting with everything you had, you would be shit out of luck. There was no other way around it.

Brax rolled me over, positioning himself above my chest. “Is that why you were so upset?”

I nodded my head.

“Why didn’t you say something, baby?” he asked, and as soon as his jaw ticked, I knew he was pissed. Not just a little, either. That was a touchy subject for us both.

I couldn’t blame Brax for being upset with me. I knew better. I should have said something but speaking the words aloud would’ve made this more real, and well, I couldn’t go there. I just couldn’t do it.

“I was scared,” I admitted. “You know how I think, B. It just…didn’t feel right. I mean, if that were the case, we would have to get divorced. I don’t think—”

“Stop.” He placed his finger over my mouth. “Don’t even say it. Nothing’s going to happen to us, not now, not ever. I’m not giving you up that easy. It took us a long time to get where we are now and I’ll be damned if I let you just up and walk away from me.”

Brax grabbed the back of my neck then moved down, kissing my lips. I closed my eyes, forcing the fear out of my mind, melting into my husband’s embrace.

I took my time kissing him, showing him just how much I needed him. There was no other man in this world made for me. He was it. Brax was the one. Since the very first day we met, Brax had been my everything.

A soft moan escaped my mouth, as his erection pressed against my stomach. I slid my fingers down his thick, hard six-pack, stopping below that sexy
V
. Brax flinched at my touch and pushed his body up, giving my hand more room to roam.

I grabbed a hold of his shaft, rubbing my hand up and down. He deepened the kiss, as moisture filled between my folds. I wanted him inside of me. I needed to feel him as close as possible.

“I need you,” I mumbled against his lips.

Brax smiled against my mouth, refusing to let go. His pre-cum covered my fingers. I wanted to lick it all off my hand. I needed all of him—right here, right now.

Brax sat up and then took off his clothes. I went to push myself up beside him, but he shook his head. “I’ll do it,” he insisted. His hazel eyes bored into my soul.

Brax took his time pulling my pajamas and panties off. I normally slept in a tank top and panties, but I wasn’t sure we would even lay close to each other tonight. Everything had been such a mess earlier; I just changed and crawled in the bed.

He pulled the covers up over us then lay down beside me. I must’ve looked confused, because he grabbed my chin and said, “I want to take my time and love on you, baby. I want you to feel everything I’m about to do.”

Brax cupped my breasts, lowering his mouth down to my nipple. His tongue reached out, massaging my swollen bud, as he sucked it in and out between his front teeth. My back arched as the pressure began to build. Brax slipped one finger inside me and then two.

I moved my hips back and forth, wanting him to go deeper. He continued pushing further inside me, while his thumb rubbed against my clit, and before I could beg him for more, I cried out his name.

“Oh, B…Oh, God…”

He moved up my body, his tongue entered my mouth while the orgasm rocked my core, refusing to let up until I was done. When my legs stopped shaking and I was brought back to reality, Brax positioned himself on top of me.

“I love you, Jazzy.” He rubbed his dick against my clit, placing himself at my entrance.

“I love you, too.”

Brax took his time, pushing inside me, my walls tightening around his long, thick cock.         

“You feel that, baby?”

I nodded my head, unable to speak. It felt too good. There had never been a time my husband didn’t satisfy me. How could he not? Brax knew best how to take care of my every need.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, lifting my hips, wanting more. I felt him grow inside me with each thrust. We both rocked our hips, moaning and calling each other’s names, and everything that had happened previously tonight no longer existed.

It was just Brax and me against the world. No one could tear us apart.

**

Today was the day. I promised myself that no matter what Anthony said, when I found out about my father, I wouldn’t worry. I knew it was inevitable, but I had to try to remain optimistic. It was a must. There was no other way to be. If I took my mind back to that dark place like I did last night, I would lock myself away in my room and never come out. I knew me, and I knew how bad my depression could get. But when you added anxiety on top of it all, you had one big clusterfuck of a mess. My past held enough proof to how I reacted in a traumatic situation and it wasn’t pretty. I refused to go back there. I had responsibilities now.

Savanah slept in ‘til eight this morning, giving Brax and me time to get up and talk before we spent the day with our daughter. I refused to allow any tension to surround her. Savanah might have been little but just like anyone else, she could sense when I was upset. So today, I was going to do my best to make her happy. That was my job as her mom.

Brax called his parents around nine, asking if we could stop in before everyone else arrived. Not that his family and our friends didn’t know what was going on, but we thought it would be best if we spoke to them in private beforehand.

We were seated at the kitchen table. Amelia was holding the baby, while Anthony drank his coffee, reading the newspaper in front of him.

“What’s going on, son? Mom said you two needed to talk?”

Brax placed his hand my leg, holding on for moral support. I placed my hand over the top of his, letting him know that I was with him.

“Yeah, we do,” Brax said, and winked at me. “Last night Jazz and I went to meet the Lander’s. It was an emotional visit for her; however, we both have a few questions we thought maybe you and Ma could help answer.”

 “What kind of questions, sweetie?” Amelia sat Savanah in her activity center then pushed in her chair, clasping her hands together.

“Phyllis, Jazz’s grandmother, showed us a picture of her mom, Peyton Lander, and her father, T.J. Sorrentino. So, we were wondering if Uncle Teto happened to be T.J.?”

I dug inside my purse and pulled out the picture. I handed it to Brax. He set it down, sliding it across the table in front of his parents, while we waited for them to view it.

“It would be insane if that were the case, but we wanted to clarify with you first. I know Jazz has a lot of questions, but so do I.”

Anthony lifted the picture in his hands and held it up in front of him. Amelia leaned in beside him, staring intently at my parents.

I kept my focus on the floor unsure if I could look at them. My leg continued to bounce as I was unable to sit still. I was scared to death. Brax said all morning that everything would be okay. That it would all work itself out and that I needed to calm down. But from the way his parents were acting standoffish, I had a gut feeling something wasn’t right. That I wasn’t going to like what they had to say.

I never freaked out for an unknown reason. I always had a logical excuse. But with everything regarding who T.J. was, something made me feel unsettled and right this very minute, I now knew why.

“Ma?” Brax quickly moved around the table. He squatted down in between his parents, while Amelia silently wept. “Talk to me, Ma. What’s wrong?” he asked in the same tender voice he had only used for our daughter and me.

Something wasn’t right. Why was she crying?

Anthony pushed back his chair and stormed out of the room without saying a word to any of us.

Please God…please…don’t make this a bigger mess than it already is. Last night was bad enough. Just hearing T.J. could very well be related by blood to my husband, the father of my daughter, I don’t think I can handle any more bad news. I know I can’t. There’s no possible way.

 Amelia laid her hand on Brax’s cheek, “Sweetie. I think the two of you need to talk to your father. Alone.”

Brax shook his head, and removed her hand. “No. Just tell us, Ma. We’re prepared for anything. We have to know. Jazz deserves to hear the truth.”

Savanah started to fuss, so I got up from the table and moved around the chairs to pick her up.

“What’s the matter, baby girl?” She nestled her head in the crease of my neck, causing slobber to drip down my chest.

“I think it’s her teeth, baby. She was pulling at her ears and crying when I got her up from her nap.”

I walked over to the sink and washed my hands before feeling around in Savanah’s mouth. It was her teeth all right. Not only did I feel one breaking through, but there was another one coming up on the other side of her mouth as well.

Brax met me at the sink with the tube of Orajel. He unscrewed the cap and squirted a little dab on my finger as I rubbed it across her gums. Savanah wailed, not liking the taste of the medicine. I couldn’t blame her. It was disgusting. I hated having to use it.

 Once the Orajel coated her little gums, I rewashed my hands and grabbed her bottle out of the fridge. Throwing her diaper bag over my shoulder, I took her into the living room and laid her down on the couch.

She drank her bottle while I got her cleaned up, and then rocked her in the recliner. Savanah fell fast asleep, so I waited in the living room and held her until my husband finished talking with his mom. Brax needed to figure out what was going on anyway. It was probably better if I gave them a few minutes, since nothing about our conversation in the kitchen felt right.

Anthony still hadn’t returned from the back room, leaving my mind questioning his actions. Why would he run off like that without saying a word? Did he know something and didn’t want to tell us? Or was there more to this story that he was afraid to share?

I had given them a little while longer before I asked Brax if she had said anything else. They couldn’t keep me in the dark forever. It wasn’t right. Eventually, I needed to know the truth, no matter who I had to find out from. I just wished they had enough respect for me as I did for them from the beginning. Then we wouldn’t be in this predicament.