Lost Without You (11 page)

“No,” she said, not believing the word herself. “You need to go. I can't talk to you about this now. Or later. I want you to leave me alone. I don't want to be kissed by you or anyone else.” She cringed, knowing the words hurt him as much as they hurt her. But she couldn't spend time alone with Chip. She couldn't let him in any closer than he already was.

He dropped his hands to his sides. “I've never wanted to kiss someone so badly as I wanted to kiss you that morning. When you're ready to get over whatever is standing in your way, you know where to find me.”

When Chip walked away, Zoe felt as if her resolve to resist him crumbled to her feet. She did want to be with him. She did want to kiss him again. But she couldn't.

And no amount of persistence or guilt from Chip was going to change that.

Maybe the easiest way to make him understand was to show him she wasn't interested in him. And the best way to do that was by distracting herself with Rick. At least with Rick she didn't have to worry about her feelings actually going anywhere dangerous.

• • •

The teams paddled hard down the river in a race to the finish line. Three of the teams were in a deadlock tie on the river while the last two teams wandered about like lost ducks a few hundred feet upstream. Chip held his breath, waiting to see which team would come in first.

So far it looked as if Rick's team was going to win.

Screw Rick and his stupid good-at-everything team.

He'd hoped Rick would lose today and be sent packing so he wouldn't have to look at his smug face while he flirted with Zoe every time he got within fifteen feet of her. But that didn't look like it was likely to happen. With his luck, he'd be stuck with Rick right until the end of the show.

Unless of course he could figure out a challenge that Rick would suck at. But what kind of challenge would that be? The guy seemed to be able to handle anything they'd thrown at him so far. He could survive in the wild so well he could have been raised by animals. He seemed to be able to cook with even the most limited ingredients. And the guy was built like a lumberjack so any physical feat would probably be no sweat off his back. There had to be something the guy couldn't do. Chip just had to work harder to figure out what it was and then maybe he could redesign one of the challenges to capitalize on it.

Sneaky and a little lowbrow, but totally worth it if it sent Rick home.

Just then Rick and his teammates splashed onto shore and dragged their raft and flag across the soft mud to where Zoe stood waiting for them at the finish line.

“Congratulations! Rick … ” Zoe paused, her gaze darting to Chip to silently tell him she needed help with the names.

“Pam, Roger, and Todd,” Chip said clearly and quietly into his mic so that Zoe would hear him in her ear. “You're doing great.”

“Pam, Roger and Todd, you are the winning team!” Zoe clapped for them and looked enthusiastic that they'd won. “Join me over here for a moment while the rest of our teams check in.”

The other teams crossed the finish line. Second was the team of doctors. Chip once again said their names for Zoe, which she repeated back to the viewing audience without hesitation. They were getting good at this. She looked calm and beautiful doing her hosting job, smiling at the contestants as they arrived and cheering them all on equally. He'd known she'd settle into the role just fine.

When the rowing team crossed the finish line in third position, Zoe's smile faltered for a moment.

“This stream must be tougher than it looks if the rowing team struggled,” she said without malice. It was true. Chip had thought their team would be the first to the finish line today.

“Things aren't always as they seem, are they, Ms. Oliver?” Alex retorted, his voice sharp as if he was pissed off at more than coming in third.

Zoe paled but recovered quickly, plastering her usual smile on her face. If Chip hadn't been watching her so closely, he could have missed her reaction. What was that about? Was something going on between the two of them too like there was with Rick? This didn't seem fun and flirty at all. This seemed angry and suspicious.

“That's true. But more often than not, it's just a person's perception that's off.” Her smile looked uncomfortable, not at all genuine.

“Of course, sometimes a person's perception is right on. Sometimes it's best to trust your gut, even if what you see doesn't go along with what you've been told.”

Zoe's jaw clenched. She shifted from one foot to the other and narrowed her eyes at Alex.
What's up with those two?
They sounded like they were talking in code.

“In this case,” Zoe said, her voice strong and unwavering, “I think rowing a raft made out of logs is much different than rowing one of your usual streamlined boats. So maybe we all perceived the river to be easier to navigate than it actually was on the rafts. I think we all underestimated the strength and power of the stream. Next time we should all tread more carefully, don't you think?”

“You can say that again.” Dale laughed, patting Alex on the back. “That raft didn't steer worth a damn and it had nothing to cut the current with. That river was a bitch.”

“At least we can use it to keep in shape while we're here since paddling that piece of driftwood was a workout and a half,” Jared added.

The boys stepped to the side still chatting about how they would use their new training tool as the last team crossed the line, panting and falling to their knees in exhaustion.

“I'm sorry, girls, but you're the last team to cross the finish line and that means you're our first team to go home.”

The four girls climbed back to their feet and hugged each other, then waved to the cameras as they said a few quick goodbyes. A moment later, they followed out one of the production people to be taken back to their camp to collect their things before heading home.

As they passed by him, Chip felt a small amount of remorse for ultimately being the person to send them home and end their chances of winning the money. It was his least favorite part of the job. But someone had to do it. At least they got to go back to the land of restaurants, soft beds, and hot showers. So he couldn't feel entirely bad for them.

“Now to find out what prize our winning team receives,” Zoe said, carrying on with her hosting responsibilities. She picked up a small cooler and handed it to Rick.

“Thank you, baby. You want to open it with me?”

“I think your hard working team deserves that honor,” she answered with a flirtatious looking smile.

Chip ground his teeth together. Rick couldn't leave soon enough.

The team opened the cooler and found ice and cold drinks. They cheered at their reward.

“After the long, hot days we've had, I'm sure that will be the perfect thing to rejuvenate you.” Zoe turned to face the camera straight on. “Tune in next time to
Wild Expedition
to find out if our teams will have to prove their survival skills or overcome more physical obstacles.”

“Clear,” Chip called to let the entire crew know they were finished filming for the day and could start packing up. Well, everyone except for the cameramen who would follow the teams back to their camps and continue filming until their shift ended at five and the next crew of cameramen took over for the night. He wandered over to join Zoe while she removed her mic pack and earpiece.

“Are you sure you don't want to help me cool off after these long, hot days?” Rick asked Zoe as Chip walked to her side. “I'm pretty sure I can find a few good uses for all this ice if you join me at camp tonight. Or maybe we'd have more privacy if I visited your tent.”

“You make a tempting offer,” Zoe started.

“Tempting, yes. But she's going to have to decline. Crew and contestants are not to mingle outside of taping segments of the show.”

“That right?” Rick narrowed his eyes at Chip.

Chip pulled his shoulders back. Rick might be a tough guy, but Chip was no slouch. He could stand his ground against anyone, especially douche bags like Rick.

“That's right. And I'd remember that rule if I was you or you might leave me no choice but to throw you and your team out of the game. Zoe's off limits, got it?”

“I think the lady can make her own choices.” Rick put his hand on Zoe's shoulder. “So what's it going to be, baby? Me or the rules?”

Zoe looked between both of them. Chip held his breath. She couldn't possibly be interested in this Neanderthal, could she? She didn't look at Rick with the same spark in her eyes she had when she looked at him.

“I think you both make my life way more complicated than it needs to be. My job is done here for the day so I'm going back to camp. You two feel free to stand around and beat your chests like monkeys a little more if you want, but I've had enough of your testosterone party for one day.”

Chip held his tongue as Zoe strode away from them and back toward base camp, then turned on Rick. “I mean it. Stay away from Zoe or I'll have you and your team removed from the game.”

“I get it. You're trying to put the moves on her too, aren't you?” Rick laughed. “Let's just see who gets in her panties first. Game on.”

Before Chip could reply, Rick wandered off after his team, disappearing into the woods. This wasn't a game. And Zoe wasn't some prize to be won.

Rick sure as hell wasn't getting anywhere near her panties.

Soon Chip would figure out a challenge to get Rick tossed out of the game and then he'd have one less thing standing in his way of getting Zoe to be with him.

But first he had to go after her and make her realize she wanted to kiss him just as much as he wanted to kiss her.

And this time, he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

Zoe stopped at a large boulder off the side of the trail and sat. Her feet ached in the heels she wore. She slipped them off and rubbed her arches. If only she'd changed her shoes as soon as filming had ended. Instead, she'd left in a hurry from Rick and Chip's testosterone fight and had forgotten her sneakers. Hopefully one of the production people would find them when they packed up and bring them back to camp for her. Until then, she was stuck in heels.

Kind of ironic since she'd always been an advocate for wearing heels anywhere. But lately, they didn't seem as appealing to her. Maybe she was getting lazy and ordinary.

Or maybe she was slowly learning there was more to life than sexy stilettos.

“Whoa now,” she said aloud even though no one was around to hear her but the squirrels and birds in the trees. “A week in the wilderness must be too much for me if I'm seriously starting to think that sneakers would ever be better than heels. I need a dose of reality soon. This reality show thing isn't cutting it anymore.”

Sighing, she strapped her heels back on her feet and started back along the trail. At least the wilderness was good for thinking. She had a lot of that to do right now.

Like what exactly could she do about the men suddenly complicating her life?

First there was Alex who'd acted as if he might have remembered her again today. Why the hell couldn't his team have gone home? He obviously knew she had something to hide, and it was probably only a matter of time before he figured out what it was —
who
she really was.

Then there was Rick. He was good looking and all but totally not her type. She didn't want to be with a gruff outdoorsy guy like him, but it was hard not to flirt with him when he started calling her baby and making sexy comments all the time. But with Rick it was just a fun distraction for her. Should she really carry on with that and encourage his behavior? It probably wasn't very good for the show since she was a crewmember now and he was a contestant. There were rules, whether she liked to follow them or not. But more than that, did she really want to lead him on knowing full well that she was only using him as a distraction to keep her mind — and hands — off Chip?

And then there was Chip.

What could she do about him? She'd been trying her best to ignore him since the shower incident and yet one look from him today and she felt her resistance melting faster than the polar ice caps in a hundred and fifty degree summer. One glance from him and she wanted to sprint across the forest and into his arms.

Hearing his voice in her ear had almost made her lose all hope of maintaining control. It was so deep and whispery and intimate. Having him with her that way was almost too much. When he asked if she wanted to kiss him, her knees damn near gave out on her.

And yet even though her body obviously wanted to be with him, she had to resist so she wouldn't risk him finding out about her past. Beyond the makeup and hair hid a girl who a put together guy like Chip would never settle for. He paid far too much attention to every detail of his appearance to put up with a sub-standard girl like her. Better to keep him away than to let him get close and have him push her away later when her heart would get broken.

Of course, seeing him spar with Rick made her decision that much harder. How could she stay away from Chip when he so clearly wanted her and she wanted him? If she wasn't careful, she'd find herself in his arms again. All the more reason to keep her distance.

Guess she'd get used to walking the pathways alone.

Movement a few feet off the trail caught her attention. A pair of rabbits nibbled on the low leaves of a bush, pausing every few seconds to listen to their surroundings before hopping a little further and eating more.

Life must be pretty simple for a rabbit. Eat, hop, sleep, make bunnies. Not a bad existence.

Holy shit, I'm jealous of a rabbit. I really have been roughing it too long.

A snap of a branch startled her out of her thoughts. A squeak escaped before she could compose herself. The rabbits bolted into the safety of the thick bush at the sound.