Love After Marriage (Forever After #2) (8 page)

I needed a drink. Bad. But not before they left. Not before I was certain he wouldn’t try anything. I knew she was vulnerable and moody, and from what I’d read online, horny as fuck.

I pushed my shoulders back and leaned against the brick wall. It didn't matter how long it took for lunch. I was staying until they had said their goodbyes.

* * *

B
eth
:

We ended up at a local cafe and sat inside right by the floor to ceiling windows. We basked in the bright rays of sunshine shining through. When our lunch had come and gone, so had the small talk.

"Beth, just tell me one thing," Jason said, breaking the awkward silence. "Why are you with that douche bag?"

I peered up at him, my face serious. "His money."

Jason’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "Seriously?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, dummy. It's because I love him." A small smile played on my lips, though it did nothing to brighten my mood. The money I'd inherited meant nothing. I'd trade money for happiness in a nanosecond.

"Does he treat you well?"

I gulped. "He does."

He tilted his head, his eyes cautious. "Well, why were you crying then?" His voice leaked concern.

My hand flew to the diamond necklace on my neck, the one that Kent had given me. He had transformed my grandmother’s engagement ring into a necklace that I could wear daily. A pang shot straight to my chest at the thought of him.

I sighed and shook my head. I wasn't going to get into it with Jason. All I wanted to do was complain about my husband, but I needed another outlet. If I vented to Jason, it would be the ultimate betrayal.

"Marriage is not perfect and like any relationship, there will be arguments." I picked up a piece of bread, tore a piece off, and dropped it on my plate. "We kind of hit a patch."

"A patch where he's making you upset almost on a daily basis." He scratched his jaw then cocked his head, his eyes judging me.

"It's not like that." But it was. Jason was perceptive lately. I didn't know if I should be flattered or a little concerned.

He placed his hand on top of mine, drawing circles on the top of my skin. I knew it was meant to be a comforting gesture, but I shifted, feeling uneasy. The touch was too intimate.

"You don't understand. It's more complicated than you think, and I'm not going to get into it." Slowly, I retracted my hand from under his. The conversation had turned from more conversational to uncomfortable, and I knew I had to go. "I need to get back to the office."

He nodded, but his jaw locked. "I still care for you, you know."

I glanced up at Jason. He had been my first love and boyfriend. We had shared so many memories, a history. His heart was deep and his soul was pure. All I wanted for him was to be happy, and I appreciated his concern, but he didn’t have a place in this. "I know. I care for you, too. But really...I'm okay."

He smiled, seeming placated. When the waiter returned, Jason grabbed the check. "My treat."

I shook my head. "No, Jason, I can get it."

He waved a hand at me. "I know you totally can, but I want to."

"Okay, thanks," I said shyly.

I stood after he dropped cash on the table, then I slipped my purse over my shoulder.

"I have an offsite today so I won't be going back to the office." Jason followed me to the street, and I took a deep breath of fresh air.

I turned to face him, a small smile lingering on my face. "Thanks for lunch again, Jason."

He reached for my hand and squeezed it. "I hope he knows what a good catch you are. One day he may wake up and totally realize he made a mistake. That maybe he should’ve looked past what was in front of him and worked for a larger goal."

My brow furrowed. We were no longer talking about Kent. Jason was blaming himself for our failed relationship. But that had been eons ago. I was over it.

I glanced at the bustle of the city workers on the opposite side of the street. The cars whizzing past us. The people hailing a cab. Anywhere but directly into his eyes. "Stop, Jason. What you wanted and what I wanted were two different things and that's okay. There's no need to dwell on the past." The reason we hadn’t worked was because Jason had been content in staying in Bowlesville, working on cars. I had lived my life trying to get out of that small town. But I believed everything happened for a reason.

His voice dropped to above a whisper. "I still think of you, Beth. I still think of us. You’ll always be the one that got away. And he should know, if he messes up, I'm going to be right here to pick up the pieces." He cupped my face, and all the warning bells rang loudly in my ears. So loudly, they screamed for me to run.

But I didn’t. And before I knew it, warm lips met mine. It happened so fast, it shocked me into stillness. In the next second, I reeled back and pushed him off of me.

"Sorry," he said, raising his hands.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hands. "What the hell, Jason!”

"I thought you cared about me." He flinched and the color drained from his face.

"As a friend!" I said, incredulous.

He jerked back, his eyes bulging as though I had surprised him.

Really? Wow.

"What part of 'I love my husband' didn't you understand?"

"You love a spoiled, entitled asshole that treats you like shit?" His mouth slackened and he reeled back, disbelief crossing his features. We were both upset now, but for totally different reasons.

"Yes!” I defended Kent. “I love a spoiled, entitled asshole, who sometimes treats me like shit...unconsciously." It sounded bad, but Jason wouldn't understand because he wasn't married. "But that's my decision to make, not yours."

Jason reached for my wrist, but I tore away from his grasp, not peering behind me as I stormed down the street and back to work.

* * *

T
hat evening
, I unbuttoned my suit jacket and keyed into our condo. Goodness gracious, my life felt like it was falling apart at the seams, yet there was nothing I could do to keep it intact. With my hormones running rampant, I didn't have the right equipment to sew my life back together.

I froze when I saw Kent, sitting on the couch, in his suit from earlier, staring at nothing. Normally the television was on, but today he sat in utter silence. He had heard me enter, yet he didn't turn around. I took in his side profile and guilt rushed to the surface. Even though it wasn't my fault, there was no denying that my lips had connected with another man's.

The only noise in our condo was the ice maker in the freezer. I listened to the churning of the ice machine and stood there for what seemed like forever but was probably only a couple of minutes. Anxiety rose in my throat and I swallowed.

"How was your date with Jason?" His voice tore through me like papers through a shredder.

The color drained from my face, and heat rushed behind my eyes. He had caught me off guard. My answer surprised me more. "He kissed me." I needed to be honest and tell him. I wanted this guilty feeling inside of me to subside.

And then Kent answered with a hushed, broken puff. "I...know." By the inflection of his tone, I knew he was hurt. I would’ve said sorry, but I felt like sorry had been said too many times over the last couple of days. It had lost its impact.

Still, I was. I was unbelievably sorry.

My lip quivered as I squeezed my hands together. Every day, every hour, every minute our relationship was edging slowly toward a cliff. I was afraid once it tipped over to the other side, there would be nothing salvageable.

"I swear to God, I didn't know he was going to do that." My voice was on the verge of desperation. Way to add more theatrics to the pot full of drama. A kiss from your ex-boyfriend would do it. "I swear to you. It wasn't what it looked like."

From his side view, I saw his jaw tighten. I shrugged out of my jacket and kicked off my heels. The thing about pregnant women, we were always hot and our emotions were everywhere—up, down, and all around.

"I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't do it to get back at you. I swear, I didn't even lead him on."

The silence was deafening and it killed me. The quiet gutted me from the inside out. It dragged on forever. The only reaction he gave away was the tight movement from his jaw. I curled my fingers in, digging my fingernails into my palm. I needed him to say something...anything.

A sharp pain hit my stomach, and I gasped softly. I glanced down, my hands gripping my belly. I wasn't sure if it was gas or if something was wrong with Em. My brow wrinkled as I stared, unmoving, at my stomach, waiting.

There was no movement from the couch and the only movement from me was the indentation of my chest from my soft inhales and exhales. I watched my stomach move from my breaths and waited. I didn't care about the silence anymore. The only thing that concerned me was feeling another cramp.

"Do you want to be with him, Beth?" he asked, his voice strained.

"What? No," I said softly without hesitation. The question momentarily distracted me because it was ridiculous. There was no more fight left in me as a different worry took priority.

Caroline's words rang loudly in my ears, and I knew what I had to do. Sudden clarity hit me in the face. I couldn't keep living like this, walking into a room full of tension. What mattered was my health because it affected little Em.

"I'm tired of this." Ice spread through my veins. "I'm tired of everything. Of feeling sick all the time. Of worrying if my baby is okay. Worrying if we'll survive this."

He turned to me, his eyes tight.

Honesty finally seeped out of my mouth. Forget the pride. "I'm sorry Jason kissed me, but I swear I didn't kiss him back. I love you, Kent, but this stuff—all of it—is taking too much out of me. That's not even counting the tightness in my chest whenever I'm anywhere near you because I'm afraid we'll get into another fight."

He stood, no emotion showed on his face, and I took the deepest breath of my life and let it out. "We need time apart. To think. Caroline offered her place..."

"What?" He blinked a couple of times, shocked out of his daze. He walked toward me and closed the gap between us. "Are you leaving me for him?"

"Of course not!" I threw my hands up. "See, this is what I mean. You're not even listening to what I'm saying. How could you even think that?"

"I don't know.” He rapidly blinked then fisted the top of his head with one hand. “Maybe because I saw you having lunch and lip-locked with your ex-boyfriend!"

I let out an exasperated sigh. "I told you, it wasn't what it looked like."

"And then you come back here, wanting to leave me." Anger oozed from his tone as he clenched his hands at his sides. "You tell me you’re pregnant and punish me because I wasn't automatically ecstatic about it. I haven't even thought it through for five full minutes. How can I think of this baby when all I can think of is everything that's going on between us? When I'm honest with you, you freak out over it and punish me even more. What do you want me to do? Lie? Is that the kind of relationship you want? And when I run after you today...who do I see you having lunch with? Your ex-lover, who's fucking using this situation to his advantage. Does he think I don't know what he's doing? Does he?"

When he continued spitting words at me, my whole body tensed. "This is not about him. This is about us. And maybe you're right. I've been emotionally distraught and haven't been fair to you. I haven't given you enough time to let this news sink in, so this—this break is exactly what we both need.” I fisted my hand and rubbed at the ache in the center of my chest. I swallowed the painful lump in the back of my throat before I slowly said, “I have to take care of myself, and this is not good for the baby...our baby."

His jaw locked as he stared me directly in my eye. "You want a break?"

"Not forever.” My voice cracked, thick with emotion. “Just for a couple of days. Just for us to think things through. For things to calm down. You even said it yourself, you haven't had time to let things soak in."

The stillness of his handsome face frightened me and sent chilling goosebumps down my arms. "You walk out on me, Beth…You do this, and I don't know if I can forgive you." His words cut me like a knife, and my lip quivered. "You leave me...you move out, and I'll take that as a break for good."