Love and Hate (21 page)

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Authors: Chelsea Ballinger

BOOK: Love and Hate
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Chapter

13

“Honorable Sacrifices”

Claudia

 

I wake up to see Donovan gone.

I look around to see where he is
until I see the note he has left for me. It says that he went to the gas
station to get gas and coffee and that he loved me. He even drew a big heart at
the end of it. He’s so sweet. I stretch nakedly as I look outside into the
bright sunshine.

I’m happy. I know it’s going to
be hard for us, but we can do it. I have to figure out what to say to my dad
though.

I throw on some sweats I find in
his uncle’s closet. Uncle Billy must be very big because these pants are nearly
falling off. I had to tie the drawstring three times for it to hold. The zipped
up sweater is hanging off my shoulder and the sleeves are completely covering
my hands. 

I hear the doorbell.

Who could that be? It can’t be
Donovan he has a key, unless he forgot it.

I head down stairs and once I
peek out the window I see him. Roman Pierce. Oh My God. What do I do? I can’t
let him in, but I can’t leave him out there. Screw it. I open the door to see
Roman Pierce. I’ve never really paid close attention to him before, but now I
notice how tall and built and handsome he is. I’m sure Donovan will look this
good when he gets older, probably better. He is very intimidating as he looks
me up and down, observing my attire. His dark blonde hair is thick and slicked
back. There are a few grays peeking out as there are a lot of them mixed in his
goatee.

“Ms. Stonem.” He says in a deep
voice.

“Mr. Pierce.” I try to sound not
intimidated by him.

He walks right in as I move away.
I look back to see two black town cars outside and Benny outside one of them.

 I walk into the living room
where Pierce is looking at a picture of his family. I know the picture well
because it’s one where Donovan is happy. It’s a picture of him with his brother
and sister with their Uncle at a Barbeque.

“Donovan isn’t here.” I inform
him.

“I know.” He looks up at me. “I
saw him drive off about 15 minutes ago.”

How long has he been here?

“How did you know…?”

“You were here? After that little
reveal at your school, I had a tracking system installed into Donovan’s car.”

“Okay.” I don’t even know what to
say to that, other than okay. Now I need to be brave here. “Listen, Mr. Pierce.
Donovan and I love each other and were going to be together.”

He continues intimidating me with
his stare. He looks back down at the picture in his hand.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes we are.” I say without
thinking, still keeping my big girl composure.

He sets the picture back down and
faces me.

“Every Saturday your father goes
and plays golf at the country club, while your step mother fails at playing
tennis due to her over use of cocktails. Your friend Jade is home alone all the
time while her father is with his other family and her mother is having affairs
around the country.” What? Why is he saying all this? “I mean anything could
happen to a child who is home alone. A robbery could take place and she could
be in harm’s way. Your step mother could get in a car accident due to her
excessive drinking while your father, well he has many enemies. Anyone could
want him dead.”

Oh my God. I can’t believe this.
He is threatening my family and Jade of all people.

As I retain his threats I notice
his cold stare.

“You’re really threatening me?”

“No, I’m promising you. I’m
promising that if you don’t end it with my son I will make sure you are alone
for the rest of your life.”

I can’t even keep the tears from
falling as I listen.

He walks toward me.

“You will be escorted back home
and the next time you see my son you will tell him that it’s over.”

“Donovan will know something is
wrong.” I say with anger.

“You will make it believable. You
and I have that in common. I see it. We keep our emotions in and we are good
liars. Also we will do anything to protect our family.”

“So, that’s what you think you’re
doing? Protecting Donovan?”

“Yes. I do what is necessary for
my family.”

I look out the window trying to
fully grasp what is going on right now. How can I do this? I can’t let the
people I love to get hurt, but Donovan. I can’t lose him.

“What if I tell him? What you’re
doing.” I challenge him.

He slowly walks closer towards
me. 

“Then you will learn that I do
keep my promises Ms. Stonem.” He speaks with a clear and cold tone.

Wow. I can’t believe this man is
the father of the guy I love. I have to do it. I can’t let people get hurt
because of me. It’s not right.

“Okay then.” I say tearfully, but
with anger because I hate this man with all my heart. I never thought I could
hate anyone as much as I hate Roman Pierce right now.

“Okay.”

I head upstairs and grab my dress
and heels. I come back downstairs and head to the door. I’m going to leave, but
not before I tell him one last thing.

“You know. Donovan said you were
the kind of man who never would hurt anyone who didn’t hurt you first. He said
that you were an honorable man and that no matter how you kept your emotions in
he knew that you loved him.  He said he understood you and why you were the way
you were. But he is definitely right. You would do anything for your family… too
bad he was wrong about the honorable part.”

I leave him with those words and
head into the car he has waiting for me.

Once the car pulls off I can’t
hold it in any more. I burst out crying. Screaming at that.

 I can’t believe it has gone this
far.

 

Donovan

 

“Claudia?”

Where is she?

After I drove to the gas station
and stopped for coffee, Claudia was gone. I’m looking all over the house and
she is gone! Her dress is gone everything is gone. When I pulled up, I saw my
father and Benny here and immediately ran in the house to find her, but
nothing. What the hell did he do?

“What did you?” I ask him once I
get back downstairs.

“I didn’t do anything.” My father
says.

“Bullshit.”

“Donovan come on.” Benny says
beside me.

“What did you say to her dad?!”

“She called her father. He called
me. She wanted to go home.”

“You’re lying. We were going to
come home, but she wouldn’t leave me.”

“Well maybe you don’t know her as
much as you thought. Now go get your stuff.”

“I swear dad if you did
something? I’m no longer your son.”

 

                                                ******

 

After I got home, I did
everything to see her. I even had Emile contact Jade, but she said Claudia
didn’t want to see me. That is bullshit. What the hell is going on? Why would
she do this? Why the hell would she just call her father? Something is not
right!

The next day at school she didn’t
look at me at all. When I tried talking to her, she shrugged me off and walked
away. At lunch I finally went to her table.

“We need to talk.”

She turns to me in a bitchy way
and says. “Okay.”

We walk out to the empty hallway.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“What?” She acts nonchalant.

“Claudia, why are you ignoring
me? Why did you leave yesterday? And you called your father who called my
father? What did he say to you?”

“Nothing. I called him. He’s
right. I figured it was time to end this joke.” Joke?

“What?”

“Listen, Donovan, I only started
this because I hated your sister. She was right. I figured why not, besides I
was bored. Saturday you were getting too serious about the future so I decided
I should probably put you out of your misery.”

“Don’t. Don’t do this.” Why is
she lying? “Why are you lying?”

“I’m not lying. Although, I am a
good liar. Hell I had you fooled pretty well. Listen, I like you but that’s
it.”

She can’t do this. After
everything we have been through, she can’t do this.

“I mean what did you think would
happen?” She starts laughing.

“Stop it.”

“That we would get married?” She
continues in her condescending tone.

“Stop it”

“That we would have little
mobster babies?”

“Stop”

“And we would live happily ever
after?”

“STOP! STOP IT!” I scream at her
with rage. Was it all a lie? Did she feel this way all along? “You want to be a
bitch, fine.”

“Oh please grow up.”

“No, you grow up!” I move closer
to her until she is leaning back against the lockers with no way out. “You can
say it was a joke and a lie, but no matter what you do or what you say. I Love
you. Now I don’t know what the hell happened, but I swear to you I will never
give up because I love you. I. Love. You.”

Just as I see her attitude fade
away, thinking I got to her, she smirks in a sinister way that I could never
forget.

“Well, I hate you.” She says it
so cold, without any feeling or remorse.

She pushes me out the way as I
stand there numb.

 

Claudia

 

I walk fast and hard. I walk so
fast that I feel myself fainting because right now I can’t breathe. I really can’t
breathe. I held my breath for the entire conversation.

 Oh My God.

Once I reach the girls bathroom
and kick each stall to see if anyone is in here. No one is in here. I let out a
huge exhale. I walk back and forth, panting at the realization of what I just
did. That was the most excruciating pain I have ever felt. The look on his face
when I said those things, all I wanted to do was hold him. Then I wanted to
kiss him when he told me he will never give up.

But I gave up.

 I told him I hated him. Oh My
God. I’m circling around holding onto my stomach trying to find my peace.

 I gave up my piece. I gave him
up.

I stop and place my hands over
the sink staring at my reflection in the mirror. I can’t take it. I don’t hate
him. I could never hate him. I hate myself!

 I punch the mirror with my fist
and let out a loud scream. I watch the blood on my knuckles from the glass drip
down my hand. It relieves some tension, but it doesn’t take it away.

The pain is still there.

 

 

 

          

 

          

        

           

               
Chapter

14

“Words From The Wise”

 

Donovan

 

 I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t
do anything without thinking about her.

Thinking about a girl who
possibly played the shit out of me.

“Can we talk?” I look up to see
my mom standing in the door way.

“Sure.” I close my textbook as
she walks in. I wasn’t even studying. I couldn’t focus worth crap.

My mom sits next to me on my bed
and looks at me.

“You didn’t eat anything at
dinner.”

“I know it’s just that…”

“Your hearts broken.” My mother
interrupts me. I widen my eyes at her. “Yeah I know the symptoms.” She smiles.
“The first time your father broke my heart I was looking just like you.”

“I’m sorry mom.”

“I know. I’m sorry too.”

“For what?”

She slowly hesitates. Whatever it
is, she does not want to confess it to me.

“For being married to your father.
I’m sorry and not sorry at the same time. From the moment I saw him, I knew he
would be that one. I knew we would have a life full of adventure and
consequences because of who he was.” I sit up straight and listen clearly to
probably the realest thing my mother is ever going to say to me. “When
Christian died, I thought to myself how I wish I could go back and change it
all. I could go back and not meet your father and you all wouldn’t have been
born and Chris wouldn’t have lost his life so early.”

“Mom”

“Let me finish… I saw the way she
looked at you. The way she looked at you is how I still look at your father. Am
I happy about who she is? No. Only because I know it brings problems. See
Donovan I have regrets and so does your father, but we have to live with those
regrets and move on. That’s why your father gave up that life because he had to
move on.”

“So, do you still feel that way?
Like you should’ve changed everything?”

“Sometimes I feel it sneaking up
on me, but then I look at you and Ella and all the memories of Christian and
the last conversation we had fill up my heart.”

“What was it?”

“It was before you left for that
party. I went to his room to be nosey and ask about you. I asked him how you
we’re doing and you know what he said?”

“What?”

“He said Mom, Donovan is a
perfect combination of you and dad. Full of heart and strength. He can’t break.
He’ll be okay. Then I told him he was really wise for your age. I was teasing
him and he laughed. He said that’s what happens when you come from this family.”

I feel a single tear come down my
cheek as my jaws clench trying to hold in the rest.

“You see Donovan, that memory
gives me hope. You and your sister give me hope. Your father gives me hope. So
don’t lose it baby.” She places her hand on my cheek.

“Okay.”

We end our moment in a hug. I
instantly flash to the night Christian died and how he didn’t look scared and
said it was okay. It may be crazy, but I feel as if, even in death, he didn’t
regret being a Pierce.

 

Claudia

 

“Claudia, I need to talk to you.”
I turn around to see Julia in the hallway.

I just got home and wanted to go
in my room and study, which is all I have been trying to do this week, but I
haven’t been too successful. All I could think about was Donovan.

“Sure.” I follow her down stairs
in the living room where I see them. Suit cases. They’re hers. I glance up at
Julia. “What’s going on?”

“I’m leaving.”

“What?”

“I’m divorcing your father.”

“What? Why?” Of course you know
why.

She walks closer to me and places
her hands on my arms.

“You and I both know that your
father has not been the same since your mother. When I met him I thought it
would change because I loved him. It didn’t.”

“No, Julia, please.”

“Sometimes you have to let go to
be happy Claudia. But know that I love you and I don’t regret knowing you or
being a part of your life. Also I’m sorry for being a bitch to you. You were
right. It’s time for me to stand up to him, just like you did.” She brushes my
hair as she tears up.

“I don’t regret it either. Even when
you were being a bitch.” We laugh and I pull her into a hug. “Where are you
going?”

She wipes her tears away, letting
go of me.

“I’m going back to Boston to stay
with my sister until I get a place of my own.”

“Promise you will keep in touch.”

“Of course I will.”

After I help her with her bags we
say our final goodbyes.

“You love Donovan Pierce?” She
says to me before she gets in her car.

First time anyone has asked me.

“Yes.” I say proudly, clear
without a doubt.

“Then don’t give up.”

I watch her as she turns on the
ignition and drives off. I’m really going to miss her.

I start walking back towards the
house when I see another car pull up.

I wait to see who gets out and
its Ella.

“What are you doing here?”

She takes off her sunglasses and
walks up to me. “We need to talk.”

We settle in the living room. I
still can’t believe she is here. What could she possibly have to talk to me
about?

“What do you want?” I watch her
as she stands near the fire place studying pictures of my mom.

“Is this your mom?”

“Yeah.”

“How did you feel when she died?”
What? What kind of question is that? “Listen I don’t know what your problem is,
but you need to leave obviously.”

“Just tell me.” For the first
time, I actually sense a calm and serious tone from Ella.

“Hurt. I was hurt, depressed,
lost, angry, everything negative, okay?” I blurt out.

“Those are all the things; I felt
when my brother died. Before school started I did plan on coming here and
automatically hating you, but my brother Christian told us how we didn’t know
you and that it wasn’t your fault who your father was. I listened, but then he
died. Then Donovan was shipped off to another country and to me he might as
well have been dead. I missed my brothers. I missed how my family use to be. So,
I took it out on you. I needed someone to hate so I might as well hate the
daughter of Henry Stonem. I’m sorry I slept with Eric. It was actually my first
time and I actually liked him. He smooth talked me. He acted like he understood
me, then when I realized he used me, I decided I might as well tell you.” Wow.

“So, you did.”

“Yeah, I did.” She looks down at
her feet then back to me. “When my brother came back, I thought we could be
happy again. We could have it all back, but we didn’t. Christian was still gone
and that was a void we could never fill. Donovan has always been this brooder
since he was little, but he’s gotten worse. Then I finally saw that for the
first time in a very long time he was happy. He was happy because of you. He
was hanging out with me and cooking with mom,
trying
to have father and son
conversations with dad.” She laughs. I laugh a little with her. “You brought my
brother back to life and no matter how much I object to it, him being happy is
good enough for me.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate
all that, but you do know that I ended it, right?”

“Yeah, which is why I’m here.
Emile told me what you said to Donovan, and all I could think about was why? I
mean you guys practically made an announcement at the ball, so I kept thinking
why would she end it like that? So I did my own investigation. My brothers
underestimated me sometimes. They thought all I paid attention to was boys and
clothes. Which is half true, but when it comes to something important I think
I’m more focused than anyone. So I ease dropped on my father’s phone call a
couple of days ago. See my father is a good liar, but I know he isn’t capable
of threatening you and your family.”

My eyes widen.

“Yeah, I know. Rick, one of my
father’s guards, has a big mouth. But I knew it didn’t add up. My dad isn’t
like that. Yes he has done things that are unforgivable, but he really is legit
now, so I went through his office and found this.”

She reaches into her bag and
pulls out a red folder.

“What is that?”

“It’s everything my father has on
your father. Its everything your father has on my father. My father was keeping
tabs so he would know what he was up against when the time was right.”

“What?”

“Just read it. This feud between
them goes deeper than anything.”

I take the folder from her.

“Did you tell Donovan?”

“No not yet. I’m going to and
when you guys figure it out. You’ll be okay. I’ll show myself out.”

“Ella.” I say as she is walking
away. She turns back and looks at me. “Thank You.”

“No problem.” She starts walking
away until she stops again. “Claudia.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for the truth your
about to find out.”

After she leaves me with her
apology, I sit down on the couch and place the red folder on the coffee table.

What is this? Do I want to read
this?

 She said it’s everything her
father has on my father too.

What has dad been doing?

 

 

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