Love and Pollywogs from Camp Calamity (5 page)

Sister Lucille blew her whistle, which also made me think of Mom. Geez!

“Girls and boys! I’m going to turn this over to the director of Camp Wickitawa, Ms. Rebecca Marshall. Please give her a big round of applause to thank her for letting us be here again this year.”

Everyone cheered and stomped their feet on the bleachers.

Ms. Marshall looked like one of those glamorous workout ladies on television, and I noticed all the boys got
very quiet the minute she started talking. No matter how young or old a boy is, a pretty lady can shut them right up.

“Welcome, girls and boys, to Saint Dominic’s fifty-eighth year at Camp Wickitawa! It probably feels like you’ve been waiting forever for this week to come, doesn’t it?” She smiled with the whitest teeth I’d ever seen. She had long brown hair that she wore in a big thick braid crossed over her shoulder and down her front.

“I want to introduce you to the rest of the Camp Wickitawa staff. They have been very busy this weekend getting everything ready for you.

“First off, the man we literally could not survive without, our master of Mess, let’s hear it for Coco. This is his third year with us! Before he came to Camp Wickitawa, Coco was in the army cooking for our soldiers in Iraq. I know he’s got some very special meals planned for you this week.”

We gave him a giant hand for that. Coco was wearing a very clean, starchy white kitchen apron and gave us a wave with the only arm he had. He sat down pretty quick, like he still wasn’t used to much attention.

“Next, Ms. Hawkins, come on up! And bring your trusty little friend with you.” Ms. Hawkins wore big hiking boots and a cowboy hat. And from under her vest, she pulled out some kind of hawk on a leash! He was wearing a black hood. She set him on her shoulder.

“The bird’s got a bird!” Donal cried out.

“Oh, cool!”

“Awesome!”

“That is
sweet!”

“Hi there, boys and girls! Welcome! I’m Sarah Hawkins, your guide to the outside, and this is Gypsy, a peregrine falcon. I keep her on a leash for her own safety. You’ll hear all about her and some other fascinating animals in our science and nature classes together. Can’t wait to meet you!”

The boys were extremely squirmy now.

“Thank you, Sarah,” Ms. Marshall said. “And I’m pleased to present our dashing prince of the waters, Mr. Carey Bucko, who will be teaching our swimming classes and supervising all of our lake activities.”

Mr. Bucko was very tan and needed to start using more sunscreen right away. But he seemed like he was nice.

I took my hands from Aurora and Nit and tried to dry them off on my shorts. Crossed my arms to try to warm myself up and stuffed my hands in my armpits.

“Hello, campers!” he said. “We’re going to have a blast together this week. The lake is cold, but nothing can beat it for a good time. We’ve got rafts, tubes, and even a brand-new canoe for you!”

The boys nearly cheered the pinecones right off the trees at that.

Ms. Marshall laughed and started talking again. “And you’ve seen, but not really met yet, our camp handy-dandy man, Mr. Lonzo Jimenez, and his granddaughter, Chica.
The two of them live here at Camp Wickitawa full-time. The man can build anything, fix everything, and play a wicked guitar. You’ll be enjoying some of his music later tonight at campfire. But first things first! Let’s talk about lunch, because I know you all are very hungry. You’ve had a long ride.”

There were huge hoots from everyone about that, except from me.

I didn’t think I’d be able to eat with this terrible case of altitude sickness. But maybe I’d see Maxey in the kitchen. Which, for some unexplainable reason, made me feel an eensy bit better. Which tells you just how sick I was if I was looking forward to seeing Bosszilla. The sickness was infecting my brain!

“Well then, boys and girls,” Ms. Marshall said with a bright smile to all of us, “Camp Wickitawa is now officially in session. Mess awaits!”

And I wondered then if she meant lunch, or was foretelling the future!

M
ess was very loud. We didn’t have a dining hall or cafeteria at St. Dom’s, so I wasn’t used to all the shouting, banging of trays, and blasting of dishwashers. Aurora said it sounded just like her cafeteria at Sam Houston’s. She knew how to do everything, like picking up your tray first, then remembering to get your silverware before you got in line for “chow,” which is the camp name for all your meals. I was glad I had studied my handbook and knew some of this stuff already.

The good news was that we were having mac ’n’ cheese for lunch, which I love hugely. I can outeat anyone on the planet when it comes to mac. The bad news was that someone in the kitchen had the horrible idea of putting peas in it, which made me near sick to look at. And there
were brussels sprouts for a side dish, which I did not like at all. I didn’t know if you had to eat some of everything or not. But I didn’t want to hurt Coco’s feelings, so I let him serve me everything. But my stomach rolled like a hard snowball every time I looked at my tray. The sight of giant chocolate chip cookies at the end of the chow line cheered me a tiny bit.

I didn’t see Maxey anywhere in Mess, which worried me. Maybe she was having altitude sickness too and went home without me. It could run in our family!

“Do you guys see my sister anywhere?” I asked Nit and Aurora, who were in front of me in line. They both looked around and then shook their heads.

“Maybe she works way in the back,” Nit suggested. “That would be great—then you wouldn’t have to see her! I’m stuck with Phil in my face all day long.” She put a pinky in one of her macaroni shells and then sucked it off. “Yum!”

“Mr. Coco!” I shouted over all the noise. “Can you tell me where Maxey Maloney is? She’s my sister and she works here.”

He didn’t even look up but kept spooning gross globs of mac ’n’ peas onto plates.

I shouted louder. Maybe he couldn’t hear from being in the war. “She’s very
skinny
and nearly an
albino
. Without the
pink eyes
, though.”

He looked up, then motioned with his shoulder toward the back. “She’s out back washing spuds. But
don’t interrupt her! I finally got her to stop blabbing. She’s got a lot of work. Eat your lunch. You’ll see her later.”

I turned toward the dining room and watched where Aurora and Nit set their trays. Donal was making a happy dash toward them. I still needed to get my drink.

They did have a soda machine with as many refills as you wanted, just like Maxey said! I studied all the flavors—lemonade, root beer, punch, iced tea, and Coke. But
no
orange soda—which is my favorite! I’d been sure they’d have it, and I had planned to drink it at every meal. I wondered if this was all they would have all week. I filled my glass with iced tea, but without any ice. I was not very happy about it.

I drug myself across Mess and set my tray down next to Nit’s. She and Donal were going yakkety-yak about ninety miles an hour. Aurora thumped her basketball like a drum on her lap and sucked down her second glass of Coke. She looked extremely happy. As happy as I wanted to be—as happy as I’d thought I was gonna be as soon as I got to camp.

I started plucking the peas out of my mac ’n’ cheese, but I doubted it would do much good. I would still be able to taste them.

“Don’t ya like peas, Copperknob?” Donal asked. “Fork ’em this way!”

Donal’s CIT, Matt, came over to the table and laid a hand on Donal’s shoulder. “Over here with the menfolk, Donal. Let’s leave these nice ladies to themselves.”

Donal opened his mouth to complain, but Matt shot him a no-nonsense look. Donal lifted up his tray like it weighed a ton and followed him back to one of the boys’ tables. He turned back once and gave Nit a sorrowful look and shrugged his shoulders.

“Did you find Maxey, Ef?” Aurora asked.

“I didn’t see her, but Coco said she’s in back cleaning potatoes.”

Nit giggled. “Oh, man, I bet she is hating her life right about now. Coco looks like he might be a bit tough on kids too.”

“Be good for her,” Aurora said.

“Can I get any of you a drink refill?” We all looked up to see the most gorgeous boy any of us had ever laid eyes on. He looked like he’d just stepped out of the Snow White fairy tale. He was super tall—maybe seven feet—and had eyes as blue as a Wild Thunderberry shake at Big Arlene’s. And he had a lot of shiny brown hair that was tucked up in a hairnet.

“I’m Swat, by the way,” he said, pointing to his name tag.

“Hi-i-i-yah!” Aurora said, her mouth dropping open. “Do you play basketball?”

He laughed. “Yeah, that’s how I got the name.”

“Oh-h-h,” Aurora breathed. “You defend the paint!”

“Yup! That’s me. You play?”

“Whenever I can.” She grinned, giving her ball a twirl on her index finger.

He whistled through his teeth. “Very nice! So, what are you girls having? I’m filling drinks.”

I realized then that Maxey would probably be willing to peel potatoes all day long—with her bare teeth, if she had to. Just so she could be near Swat.

After he walked off with our glasses and drink orders, Nit said, “I can hear the hearts breaking all over Camp Wickitawa now.”

I nodded. “I don’t think Maxey is going to be griping about being in the kitchen much.” I took a careful bite of my lunch, and as I’d suspected, pea-juice leakage was ruining the cheesy taste. I put my fork down and bit into my cookie to get rid of the bad flavor. But the cookie tasted like cardboard, and the chocolate chips could have been dead flies, for all I could tell. Altitude sickness, if that was what I had, was god-awful.

Nit shoved her cookie over to me. “Here, you can have mine, too. I’ll be too full.”

“Thanks, Nit, but that’s okay. I’m not very hungry.” Aurora gave me a concerned look and I added with a smile, “Guess I’m just too excited to eat! Woo-hoo! We’re here!” I faked.

Aurora pounded me on the back and gave Nit one of her fancy basketball-team handshakes. “Yes!
No
homework!
No
housework!
No
brothers!”

While she and Nit finished their
“No”
list, I wondered if the bus had left yet. Maybe it had been a giant mistake to come. And how mean was it to leave Pretty Girl with Mrs. Korn, who she didn’t even know? Maybe I should
talk to Mom before she left for her retreat the next day! What if during all her free time she finally had time to think and decided she wanted to get back with Dad? What if I felt sick all week long? How was I ever going to learn to swim? What if Aurora decided she couldn’t be best friends with a fourth grader who couldn’t swim?

I needed to talk to Frank. I looked around Mess, but I didn’t see him anywhere. The boys were all sitting with Matt and the swim teacher, Carey Bucko, trying to balance spoons on their noses.

I leapt up from the table. “I need to go talk to Sister Lucille. I’ll be back.”

“But what about your lunch, Effie?” Nit asked.

“I’m done. You can have it if you want, Aurora.”

“Wow, thanks!” she said, sliding my tray right over.

I spied Sister Lucille sitting in a corner in the back with Ms. Marshall.

I stood behind her, trying to be polite, while Ms. Marshall finished talking.

Which she didn’t for about three hours, it seemed. Sister Lucille finally turned around. “Hi, Effie! Need something?”

“May I speak with you
privately
, Sister?” I asked.

“Sure—excuse me. I’ll be right back.”

I went out on the big porch in front so I could talk without any nosybodies listening in.

“Sister! I need to talk to my mother. Could you call her for me? Do you have your cell phone?”

“Are you okay, Effie?”

“I think I might need to go home.”

She moved me over to a little bench and sat me down. “Cricket told me you didn’t want to get off the bus. Are you feeling a little homesick? That’s perfectly natural.”

“No!
I’m not homesick, Sister. I have altitude sickness. I didn’t know I would. It will probably last all week, and I’ll just spoil everyone’s good time.”

“Effie, remember when we talked about how camp was a time to be a bit more independent, and how we were only going to use the phone for emergencies?”

“This definitely qualifies as an emergency, Sister.”

“This isn’t the kind of emergency I was talking about, Effie. I think you’re going to be just fine.”

“But you can’t be absolutely sure of that, can you?”

“Sure enough that I don’t think we need to call her,” she said, giving my shoulder a squeeze. “But when you have your rest period this afternoon, I think it would be a nice time to write her a letter. How does that sound?”

Horrible!
I wanted to shout. “Do you know where Frank is, Sister?”

“He’s in the cabin getting things ready. But, Effie, he won’t let you use his cell phone either. I know the first day away can be a little tough. But just you wait. You are going to have so much fun here! This is going to be an unforgettable life experience.”

“Yes, Sister,” I said. “Thank you, Sister.” I knew there was no use begging her. You can’t change a nun’s mind once she sets it. Nuns have excellent willpower from all
their years of being obedient to God, not dating or having babies, and getting up early to pray.