Love: Classified (16 page)

     “She argued that her brother had worked an 18-hour shift and that Kristy Smith’s operation was the last of a long list. She did not mention the fact that the child’s family had been initially opposed to the idea of the operation but had been persuaded by Dr Winchester that she should undergo it.”

     I didn’t read the rest. I glanced at more of the photos. There were several of the child’s distraught parents, one of the child, alive, happy and healthy at a birthday party, another of Magnus. He was wearing his surgeon’s gown, boots, cap and mask and somehow, the photographer had managed to catch him looking aloof, arrogant. Magnus had probably been tired when the picture was taken, maybe stifling a yawn. I knew he’d never be aloof or arrogant.

     I longed to run back to Matilda, to tell him he was still my hero,
but suddenly the train rounded the corner and I remembered Josie.

     With a heavy heart, I climbed aboard.

     The most wonderful experience of my life had come and gone within a day. I’d found love, but my dream-come-true had turned out to be nothing but fairy-floss. I longed to be able to comfort Magnus with words, with food, with love, but he’d rejected me.

The train pulled into Perth station in the evening and I took a taxi to Jake and Josie’s flat at the back of their shop.

     I knocked on the door and waited for Jake to shuffle down the corridor to let me in.

     “Oh my girl,” he said, opening his arms to me. “It’s grand to see you. Josie’ll be that pleased you’re here. She’s home now, you know.”

     “How is she?” I asked urgently.

     “Not bad, considering.” He sounded worried nevertheless. I decided not to mention the cancer. He straightened his shoulders and asked, “How are you? I read all about Magnus in the paper today. Poor bugger, eh? Who’d be in that job? I make a mistake, and give someone ten cents change instead of twenty. He slips up and a kid’s dead. How’s he taking the publicity?”

     “Not well. We were enjoying York so much we’ve been there all this time. Now he wants to be alone. So our travels are over and I’m home.”

     Jake clicked his tongue. “What a shame, eh? Such a nice chap and all. You couldn’t go back, after he’s calmed down a bit?”

     “I don’t know if he really wants me there. We get on really well. In fact, I think I love him. But I get the feeling he’s nice to me because he feels sorry for me.”

     “Feels sorry for you!” Jake thundered. “Why, for goodness sake? You’re great, Ginny.”

     “Great as in big, yes,” I said with a bitter laugh.

     “Great as in kind, clever, brilliant company. And beautiful, although I mustn’t let Josie hear me say that. Just between you, me and this door jamb that’s holding me up, I reckon you’re a stunner. Especially since you’ve taken to wearing pretty colours. And since Magnus has come into your life you seem to glow. I bet he could hardly keep his eyes off you.”

     “You’re sweet for saying it Jake,” I said, giving him a light kiss on the cheek. “Now, where’s Josie?”

     “Here I am, here I am,” the old woman said, coming towards me on crutches. “I heard you two jabbering away and thought I’d come and join in. Where’s that wonderful doctor pal of yours, dear? What a lot of nonsense that newspaper printed about him today!”

     “I’ll tell you about him later, Josie. You’re the priority. How are you? You look heaps better.”

     “I am, thank God. But come on, let’s go and sit down and be comfortable and you can tell us all about your adventures. Where are you off to next?”

Chapter Six

I was
drawn into the comforting cocoon of their tiny living room. One of its doors opened into the area behind the shop counter so we could sit chatting until Jake had to get up if the shop doorbell rang.

     “Magnus is really upset
about the publicity,” I told them when we were ensconced in cosy armchairs. “It’d be a nightmare to have your name emblazoned all over the front page. And I suppose he does need time on his own to digest it, to cry or scream if he needs to. But I don’t expect I’ll see him again.”

     “Peta and Bree have rung several times,” Jake said. “They wanted to find out how Josie’s been, but also to check on whether we’d heard from you and your traveler. I think Peta’s secretly a bit envious because I told her what a handsome chap you’d landed.”

     “I didn’t land him. I’ve been banished from his company.”

     “Oh lass, don’t take it so personal. I’m sure banished is too strong a word. Like you said, he needs a little space right now. That’s all. Even Josie and I, who love each other as much now as we did from day one, need time out every so often.”

     “That’s why I hurt my leg,” Josie said with a chuckle, “I needed some R and R.”

     “You get plenty of that here,” I reminded her.

     “Maybe. But there’s nothing like a doctor with a terrific bedside manner, is there?” she laughed. “I felt like a teenager again, I can tell you, having all those gorgeous men in white jackets visiting me.”

     “Magnus certainly made me feel like a teenager,” I admitted. “Now it’s time to grow up. I’ve still got plenty of leave owing so let me help you around here until you’re on your feet again.”

     “No way,” Jake said. “You’re not going to coop yourself up in here, lass. I’ve been doing a big of investigating latterly, just to keep abreast of what’s going on around town. There’s a summer school on at the University. Why don’t you book yourself in for a course and expand your mind?”

     “So that it matches my body, d’you mean?” I asked bleakly.

     “You know I don’t mean that. I just want you to be happy, that’s all. I’ve even got the brochure here somewhere. It was distributed in all the letter boxes, along with that suburban rag you’re so keen on, and a few of the things on offer took my fancy. Here, I’ve got it somewhere in my pile of reading matter.”

    
He rifled through the stack of papers, magazines and books on his side table, eventually unearthing a glossy newsletter which he handed to me.

     “Now, you have a natter
, you ladies,” he said, standing up creakily. “I’m going to put the kettle on and bring us a nice cup of tea.”

     Josie wanted to know all about the
Kombi van, how I managed to produced meals on a camp stove and barbeque, how I coped with the washing and all the other minutiae only a woman who’d lived in domestic bliss all her life would have been interested in. I gladly told her, happy to see the roses back in her cheeks, keen to make up for my absence when the old couple needed me most.

    
Finally I turned the key in my own front door. I was relieved to see Barney looking glossy and well, but he studiously ignored me for several hours to make sure he wouldn’t forgive me lightly for leaving him. The chooks were safely locked up for the night but I went out with the torch and counted their fluffy shapes on their perches. Even with my beloved cat for company, I was overwhelmed with loneliness. The house was so quiet and unnaturally tidy. It couldn’t have been more different from cramped, fusty old Matilda with Magnus close by, a kettle or a pot bubbling away and the constant noise of  the waterbirds squabbling.

     Having tasted him, I wondered how I’d survive without him. I’d had no idea that love could be such an amazing thing and longed to ask Peta if she thought it was often like that, or if my time with Magnus had been a rare glimpse of paradise. I was sure it was the latter. Nobody would turn up at work, would both to do anything at all, if love was always so fabulous. My body still felt blessed, sacred, a thing of beauty, after Magnus had touched me.

     I shrugged, knowing I’d weep if I dwelt on the incredible thing we’d done together. I knew that, while for me it was a momentous occasion, for him it’d probably merely been a surprisingly good little fling, already forgotten.

     I re-focussed my mind. I’d miss the little things too, such as sharing
the rickety card-table with him. He’d grown adept at propping up whichever of its flimsy legs decided to sink into the sandy riverbank. Most of all, I’d miss falling asleep every night to the sound of his even breathing and my own hunger for him. I’d miss the sunrises and sunsets we’d enjoyed together and our regular walks into town for supplies.

     Sighing, I turned on the outside light and went out onto the patio where my gardenias were thriving under Jake’s careful attention. Until a few weeks ago I’d been proud of my home, had adored my job, had been almost perfectly content. Not a shred of that contentment remained.

     I sank into one of the patio chairs, remembering Magnus sitting exactly there the first time we met.
I snuggled against the cushions, feeling his body against mine. Knowing I couldn’t spend the next few weeks of leave moping around, I reluctantly took Jake’s brochure from the bag that was still slung over my shoulder.

     I turned the pages, my interest gradually kindling.
There were courses on romantic composers, Cleopatra’s lovers, sensational acting, painting with pastels and…Here, my eyes stopped scanning. This was something I wanted to do. I had the time and I wouldn’t procrastinate. I’d enroll in beginners’ Italian.

     I slept badly, yearning for Magnus. Barney helped by forgetting his
grudge and purring most of the night next to my right shoulder. When I did wake, I was surprised, and then bitterly disappointed, to be reminded of where I was and what had happened.

     I had no appetite for breakfast and rang the university extension service while I was downing my third black coffee.
I was lucky. There was one place left. I paid the fee by credit card on the spot and wondered how I’d fill in the day until the course began the following morning. It was good to see the girls again and have Barney follow me around the garden as I checked on the basil and fought down tears remembering the pizza I’d made for Magnus when he was with me that day.

     The University of Western Australia had never ceased to impress
me with its tranquil beauty. The main buildings were modeled on Florentine architecture and the golden sandstone, shady walkways and courtyards were serene and welcoming. In the Arts faculty, where I would be studying, a family of peacocks strutted, their harsh cries piercing the peaceful air. As soon as I walked into the tutorial room I knew I’d made the right decision.

     I’d never stop loving Magnus or reliving every second of our spectacular lovemaking. He might, as he proved, desire me. But I knew he only wanted me because he could bury himself in me and block out the world. I was a novelty for a man like him. He’d probably never touched a woman with fleshy thighs and an ample bosom, much less had intercourse with one. Normally, when he wasn’t under siege, he’d never look at someone like me. He’d go for a woman who was slender and firm.

     I pushed open the door of the tutorial room and walked in, soothed by the atmosphere of quiet endeavor. The lesson hadn’t begun and the class, about a dozen people of all ages, were sitting at their desks, chatting amongst themselves. I sat in the back row and pulled a pen and a wad of file paper out of my bag before looking around. I was surprised and embarrassed to find that the woman on my right was none other than Magnus’s sister.

     “Hi,” Daisy said, turning to me with a smile. She held out her hand in greeting and added, “My name’s Daisy Winchester.”

     I realised, from the total lack of recognition on the face of the lawyer, that she hadn’t seen me that day at the art gallery. I didn’t want to complicate things by explaining who I was. I’d die of shame if I came to know, through this pleasant, friendly woman, that Magnus had told her all about his weird fling with a fat woman. I was sure the Winchester siblings weren’t mean-spirited but I could image them chuckling over Magnus’ affair with a heavy-weight.

     “I’m Meg Smart,” I lied, pulling Mrs Smart’s name out of the air.

     “Hi Meg,” Daisy said. “I’m looking forward to this. I’ve always wanted to speak Italian.”

     “Me too. Have you been to Italy?” I asked, genuinely interested.

     Daisy nodded. “I did the usual back-packing tour of Europe when I left school. It was great, but brought home to me how isolated we are here in Australia. In Switzerland, some of the kids I met spoke four or five languages.”

    
At that moment the teacher, a gorgeous Italian with a rose tattoo on her shoulder and a punk-inspired haircut, introduced herself and the lesson began.

     Two hours later Daisy and I emerged into the sunshine.

     “I’m starving!” Daisy exclaimed, so like her brother that my eyes pricked with tears.

     “Me too,” I admitted.

     “Are you okay?”

    
I nodded. “A bit light-headed after all that new vocab.”

     “Let’s buy some sandwiches
and sit under the trees over there,” Daisy suggested, pointing to a cool, green grove.

     We did so, and soon we were sitting in the shade, eating and chatting, even adding some of the Italian words we’d used.

     “I’d better go,” Daisy said when we‘d finished our picnic. “My little boy can only put up with the nanny for so long. See you tomorrow, Meg. It was nice to meet you.”