Love Comes Silently(Senses 1) (13 page)

“Thank you for taking care of the yard,” Ken said. This time he wasn’t asking, and Patrick colored slightly, but at least he didn’t deny it.

“Will you stay for lunch?” Hanna asked, and Patrick nodded before pointing to his house. Ken watched as he pantomimed with Hanna, and then she squealed and hugged Patrick tight. “You made mac-cheese for me?” Hanna asked, and Patrick nodded before setting Hanna on her feet and then hurrying through the yard and down the sidewalk.

“Let’s go inside. Patrick will join us in a few minutes,” Ken explained, taking Hanna’s hand.

Ken led her inside and helped Hanna get a vase for her flowers. He filled it with water and was placing the flowers in the middle of the table when he heard Hanna open the front door. Moments later, Hanna came into the kitchen with Patrick right behind her, carrying a steaming casserole dish. He’d obviously just taken it out of the oven. Ken placed a cloth on the table, and Patrick set down the hot dish. Then Ken got plates, cups, and utensils while Hanna got settled in her place. He and Patrick joined her at the table, with Ken putting a small amount of the perfectly gooey macaroni dish on Hanna’s plate.

She blew on her plate, waiting impatiently for her maccheese to cool before taking a tentative bite. Hanna hadn’t eaten a great deal in quite a while. The treatments tended to take away her appetite. Ken hated having to nearly beg Hanna to eat, but whenever Patrick came to the hospital, he’d always brought a treat for Hanna that she ate readily, usually something sweet. The doctor would have been angry if she had known, but Ken had simply been grateful that Hanna was eating anything. After a while, Patrick had taken to bringing him treats as well. Ken took a bite of the macaroni, the rich cheese sliding down his throat.

“This is wonderful. Thank you.” When Ken had texted Patrick that he and Hanna were coming home, he hadn’t intended for him to provide lunch, but he should have known he would anyway. Ken watched as Hanna ate slowly but steadily before shifting his gaze to Patrick. He didn’t know exactly when it had happened, but over the last six weeks or so, his fascination with Patrick had begun to turn into something else.

“Good,” Hanna said as she reached for her glass of milk, smiling at Patrick before continuing to eat.

“You’ve been a godsend this entire time, and I don’t know how to thank you,” Ken told Patrick, and he saw the silent man blush, nod quickly, and then look away. There were times when Patrick was so expressive, and times, like right now, that Ken wished he could easily ask what Patrick was thinking. He seemed so closed and cut off sometimes. Ken figured that was probably normal for a person who had lost his ability to speak, having lost the method used most to communicate. Ken knew he needed to explain what he was feeling to Patrick. He deserved to know, and there had been times over the past weeks that he’d seen glimpses of what he thought might be reciprocal feelings from Patrick. While they’d been fleeting, he’d seen them more than once, especially when Patrick thought Ken wasn’t looking.

Hanna finished her helping, and Ken gave her a little more, which she ate as well, to Ken’s delighted surprise. “Can I go play?” she asked, sliding out of her seat and onto the floor.

“As long as you’re quiet,” Ken answered. “You remember what the doctor said.”

“Daddy…,” Hanna whined slightly before walking out of the kitchen. Ken heard her go upstairs and then come back down again. Turning around, he caught a glimpse of her carrying her art set toward the living room.

Ken smiled and returned his attention to Patrick. For a second, he caught a glimpse ofPatrick’s intense gaze, with a touch of fire in his eyes that made Ken shiver with excitement. The look didn’t last long, because Patrick looked down at his plate almost immediately. “Patrick, I think there’s something we need to talk about,” Ken began, and then the doorbell rang. Ken groaned and stood up as he heard the front door open.

“Uncle Mark,” Hanna said, and Ken walked into the hall, where Mark was releasing Hanna from a hug.

 

“This is a surprise,” Ken said as he got a hug of his own. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“You said when you called that Hanna was coming home today, so I had to stop by and see how my best girl was doing,” Mark answered cheerfully, with a huge smile and a warm look in his eyes.

“We’re just having some lunch. You’re welcome to join us,” Ken offered as Hanna closed the door. He led Mark into the kitchen and saw Patrick at the sink. “This is our neighbor, Patrick,” Ken said.

“I remember,” Mark said as Patrick held out his hand. “I’m Mark.”

Patrick shook the offered hand before turn ing to Ken for a few seconds. All Ken saw was confusion and even a touch of hurt in Patrick’s eyes. Then he held up his hand as he headed out of the room. Ken heard Hanna saying good-bye, and a few seconds later, the front door opened and closed. Ken groaned on the inside because he had really wanted to talk to Patrick. He had so many things he needed to say to him, but it was going to take time. He’d finally begun to come to terms with how he felt about Patrick, that his feelings were more than just friendship, and he wanted to be able to tell him and to confirm if those glimpses he kept getting were real or imagined. Covering his disappointment, Ken sighed softly. “Are you hungry?”

Mark shook his head and moved closer. “Not for food,” he whispered with raised eyebrows.

“Mark, it’s been months,” Ken stammered, stepping back slightly. They’d had lunch a few times, and he’d been up to visit Hanna in the hospital, but up till now, Mark hadn’t given him any indication that he’d wanted to get back together. “What’s going on?” Ken asked in a whisper.

“I was a fool, Ken. I shouldn’t have walked away. I was selfish and self-centered, and I realize now that I walked out on the best thing to ever happen to me at the time when you needed me most. I was so stupid not to have stood by you and realized that you loved me too. I thought that with the way you lavished your attention on Hanna that you didn’t have time for me or want me anymore. I know I was wrong, and I know I hurt you. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?” Mark asked quietly, and Ken felt his heart leap slightly.

“I missed you too,” Ken confessed as his head spun. He had never anticipated that Mark would want back into his life after all these months. “But you hurt me badly, and I can’t just switch my heart on and off.” Truth be told, Ken had moved on, and he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to go back to where he’d been.

“I don’t want an answer from you today.” Mark stepped closer once again, this time leaning close and then placing a light kiss on Ken’s lips. “I really did miss you, and I’m truly sorry for being such a total ass.” Mark backed away, and Ken licked his lips slightly.

“Why now, Mark?” Ken asked as his head swam just a little bit. Mark had always been able to easily touch his heart, and now was no exception. Ken had really thought that he was over Mark. When they’d first met for lunch, Ken had expected some sort of hurt to surface, but it hadn’t. He’d been contented and pleased to spend some time with Mark, but he hadn’t felt any heartache or even hurt. What he couldn’t figure out was why Mark’s light kiss left a tingling on his lips and a zing sliding up his spine. He didn’t get it, and he needed some time to think.

“I never forgot about either Hanna or you. It took me a while to realize that when I’d left, I was leaving my family behind.” Mark’s voice caught slightly in his throat.

“But you’ve had months…,” Ken began. He and Hanna were moving on, and this seemed to throw all that he thought he felt into disarray.

“I know,” Mark agreed. “I was a total fool, okay, and I love you. It took me longer than it should have to realize how much I love both you and Hanna. You’re both my family and my life.” Mark took Ken’s hands in his, squeezing them lightly as he rubbed Ken’s skin with his thumbs. “Don’t let my stupidity ruin a chance at happiness for all of us.” Mark looked so plaintive and earnestly hurt that Ken couldn’t tell him what he wanted to say. The words got caught in his throat, and he found himself nodding.

“You have to give me some time,” Ken told him. “That’s all I could ever ask,” Mark said. After releasing Ken’s hands, Mark moved toward the kitchen door, then hurried back. Mark cupped Ken’s cheeks in his hands and kissed him hard, full on the mouth, with enough energy to nearly fry Ken’s brain. Then he stepped back, both of them breathing deeply, and without another word, he left the room. “I’ll call you real soon,” Mark said with a happy grin as he stuck his head in the doorway. Before Ken could react, Mark was gone, and he heard him saying good-bye to Hanna. Following the sound of their voices, Ken saw Mark hug Hanna tightly before kissing her on the cheek. Then he waved to both of them and left the house seeming to float on air.

Ken cleaned up the kitchen, placing the remaining food in the refrigerator and the dishes in the dishwasher. He was so confused. Mark would be the easy decision—he was known, and it would be easy to integrate him back into their lives and into Ken’s heart. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to. Mark never looked at him theway Patrick did when he thought Ken wasn’t looking. Ken knew Mark cared for him; there was little doubt in Ken’s mind that Mark was sincere. What Ken kept wondering was what he really wanted, and when he asked himself, all he got was that he didn’t know. “Can we go outside, Daddy?” Hanna asked as he was finishing up.

“Would you like to go for a walk?” he asked, and Hanna nodded. “Then go get your jacket, and we’ll spend some time in the fresh air.” Hanna hurried away, and Ken got his jacket. After putting it on, he made sure Hanna was properly dressed. It might be spring, but she needed to remain warm. Once he was satisfied, Ken took Hanna’s hand and they left the house.

Hand in hand, they walked slowly through the neighborhood as people enjoyed the lovely spring weather. “How are you doing?” Mrs. Krantz at the end of the block asked as she approached, taking off her gardening gloves.

“I’m fine,” Hanna answered with a slight gleam in her eye that Ken hadn’t seen in a while. “I still have to wear hats, though.”

Mrs. Krantz leaned close to Hanna. “It’s very pretty. Where did you get it?”

 

“It was a gift,” Hanna explained with a smile, “but I don’t know who gave it to me.”

“Well, it’s very pretty,” Mrs. Krantz said as she straightened up, and Hanna thanked her as they continued on their way. Nearly everyone they encountered asked Hanna how she was doing. The people Ken didn’t know, which seemed to be a lot of them, introduced themselves before talking to Hanna. They all seemed to ask the same questions. Some brought out cookies for her. A few gave her some flowers from their yard, which Hanna held onto as they continued their walk.

As they approached Patrick’s house, Ken expected to see him out in his yard, but the house looked closed up tight and no one was around. “Can I go knock?” Hanna asked, and Ken guided her up the walk, lifting Hanna so she could ring the bell. No one came to the door, though. Hanna knocked, but the door remained closed, with only the sound of the breeze in their ears. They left Patrick’s small front porch and headed down the walk. Hanna kept turning around to see if Patrick had come to the door, but they walked the rest of the way home without seeing their neighbor. “Is he mad at me?” Hanna asked as they approached their front door, once again looking for Patrick.

“No, honey. He probably had things to do,” Ken explained even as the hurt expression on Patrick’s face as he left flashed into Ken’s mind. There was something bothering Patrick, Ken could sense it, but he couldn’t ask Patrick what was bothering him right now, and Hanna needed to lie down for a while. After opening the front door, Ken lifted Hanna into his arms, and she curled against him, still holding her flowers. Ken closed the door and then took Hanna up to her room, setting her flowers on the dresser before getting her ready for a nap. By the time Ken got her jacket and shoes off and her blanket covering her, Hanna was asleep. Ken watched her for a few minutes before picking up the flowers and heading downstairs.

After placing the flowers in the vase with the ones Hanna had picked earlier, Ken wandered through to his studio. He hadn’t painted in weeks, but the turmoil in his mind drove him to seek out paint and canvas. The portrait of Hanna had been finished, and he was close to finishing the one of Patrick singing and the full-length study that he’d started weeks earlier. Ken wasn’t sure what he wanted to do and lifted a blank canvas into his easel. He thought of doing a portrait of Mark, and wondered why in all the time they’d been together, he’d never painted one. Closing his eyes, he brought up an image and solidified it in his mind before opening his eyes and getting to work.

I
T WASN’T working. Hours later, Hanna was still asleep and the

painting he’d been working on looked like a bunch of blotches. He couldn’t find a direction, and the image in his head kept shifting. Stepping back, he looked at what he’d done, and his eyes widened. He’d been painting a portrait of Mark, but what he’d done so far looked more like Patrick. He lifted the canvas off his easel, leaned it against the wall, and then set the singing Patrick on the easel. As soon as he did, everything came into focus. Ken fumbled with his CD player and found one of Patrick’s recordings.

As soon as the music began, Ken saw the image he needed in his mind’s eye. Patrick stood on stage wearing the clothes he wore to work in the yard. One song ended, and as another began, the image in his mind began to sing, and Ken got to work.

His hands flew as though they had a mind of their own. He now knew exactly what he wanted to achieve and he was determined to finish. The last details of the painting that had been so hard for him earlier went in with an ease that was almost too good to be true. By the time the CD stopped playing, Ken had set the now finished painting aside to dry.

“Daddy,” he heard from the other room.

“I’m in here,” he told Hanna, and she wandered into the studio, rubbing her eyes. “Did you have a good nap, sweetheart?” Ken lifted her into his arms, and Hanna rested her head against his shoulder. Ken carefully closed his paints and put his brushes in thinner to clean a little later. He left the studio and carried Hanna through the house. They ended up in the living room, and he sat in one of the large chairs with Hanna on his lap, curled into his arms, as he turned on the television, and they watched cartoons together for the rest of the afternoon.