Love Delivered (43 page)

Love you babes

xoxoxo

Move on.

I’m trying to.

Something has to give. I’m broken. I’m torn.

He betrayed me! He took advantage of my naïveté. He abused my trust, zeal and eagerness to please him…to connect with him. He manipulated me!

Get over yourself, Zo. You manipulated that man from the start of your relationship. You seduced him. You had a secret agenda, executed it and got the results you wanted. You got Stenton. He loved you. Yeah. He manipulated your consent, kept his agenda from you, and got what he wanted: you and Jordan. But were they not the same offenses, just different outcomes?

But he kept this secret from me for years. He kept himself at a distance, torturing me with what could have been!

You had the man playing hide-and-go-seek in his mansion all to get him to sleep with you. Stenton could have given you what you were asking for and tossed you out on the street like he would any other woman plotting to get into his bed. But he didn’t. He remained and gave you a try.

He took my innocence, altered my path with his selfishness. I could have been further ahead had he not interfered. I lost a year of school! I had dreams to pursue, but instead, I’ve been suffering a broken heart while raising a child as a single parent!

He put you right back on your career path, all expenses paid, and gave you a love like none other: Jordan. Yeah. He stayed away. He said he wanted you to accomplish those goals without his influence. Stenton facilitated your every endeavor. You’ve studied. You’ve traveled. You’re raising a healthy child with him. Because of all of this you were able to start a business independent of him, on your sole merit. You’re now soaring. What can’t be forgiven, Zo?

I grab my phone from the bar top and tap. It rings.

“Zo?” His tone is hesitant. I’ve awakened him.

“Why are you sleeping?” my tone curt.

I hear swishing sounds on his end from adjusting the phone.

“It’s almost two in the morning. Are you okay? Where are you?”

Now I hear panic. I don’t have time for it. I roll my eyes.

“You know where I am.”

“Where’s Bernard?”

“Wherever he is. Listen. Before I can let all of this go and forgive you, I need to know how things will change. Have I
grown
enough for you? Am I now woman enough for you?”

He exhales. “Zo, I would have never laid a finger on you had you not been
grown
enough when we met. What the hell is going on out there?”

Now I exhale…a lot. Now the tears.

“You didn’t have to get me pregnant, Stenton.” I bite my lips to fortify myself against my next confession. “I would have married you back then. It may not have been my ideal destination for our relationship, but I would have followed you to the moon, just to love you forever. I didn’t need a baby to do that. I wouldn’t have left until your commitment to me changed.” I choke on my tears. “I was so young, Stent. I didn’t know everything. I could only tell you how I felt and that was that my love for you opened me to the possibility of anything. I only wanted you.”

“
Niña
…”

There’s silence. I use the time to allow my pent up emotions to release. Oddly, I feel the activity of my lungs. They’re expanding, filling and releasing. I’m beginning to breathe. They’re short stints, but I can feel it. After seven years, I take my first breath.

~~~~~~~~~~

Frantic knocking tosses me from my sleep. My head is heavy and eyes are swollen as I fight for lucidity. I look around the room to find Bernard up, rubbing sleepiness from his eyes. His presence across from my bed on the pullout reminds me of where I am. I’d settled on a standard room, trying to stay within his budget.

The knocking occurs again, this time louder, harder and longer. It’s now frightening. I throw Bernard a glare and gesture to ask if he’s going to answer it. He returns a blank stare, annoying me.

“Who is it?” Bernard unsuccessfully attempts to scare off the perp. Even I was unconvinced.

I start dragging my legs then trunk from the bed and straighten the sundress I apparently fell asleep in. I don’t even recall returning to the room. The banging happens again. I grab the knob and swing the door open.

It’s
him
.

He’s
here.

Holy. Mother. Of. Joseph.

“Get your shit and let’s go.”

I turn behind me when I hear Bernard demand, “Who is that?”

I return to the door. He’s wearing track pants with a denim jacket.

“Zoey, who is that?” I pivot back to Bernard behind me as he’s approaching.

Stenton steps into the doorway, placing his foot on the carpet inside, and that’s when I see two burly figures just beyond him. It clicks. He’s here to extradite me.

When I’m able to crack my lips, I whisper pleadingly. “Just hang on, okay?”

I don’t want this to get out of hand. Bernard’s a turd, but he doesn’t deserve to be intimidated. That’s when I feel the wind from him arriving behind me.

“What’s this, Stenton?” Then he looks at me. “Did you call for him after our fight?”

Stenton’s eyes rush to my mine that are swollen.

“Fight? Did he touch you?” Stenton’s shoulders broaden as he fully steps inside the room this time.

“No!” I speak up.

“No!” Bernard declares at the same time. “But you haven’t explained what you’re doing here.”

“That’s easy,” Stenton minimizes his tone, appearing to calm himself. “I’ve come to get Zoey.” He tosses me a glance. “Get your shit and let’s go.”

“Wait a minute! She’s not going anywhere. You don’t talk to her like that. You have no authority to.”

I grab my head. It’s still fuzzy from all the drinking last night. I thought I dreamed that conversation with Stenton. We’d gotten disconnected after he called my name.

“Hang on here,” I attempt, but Stenton completely ignores me.

“You know, B,” Stenton steps further into the room, almost toe-to-toe with my bare feet as he towers me to speak to Bernard behind me. “…I’ve never asserted any influence in your relationship with my son’s mother. I’ve always been respectful even though I can’t stand your fruity ass. I’m gonna give you fair warning that I’m tired from taking the red eye to get here, tight that I have to see your face, and anxious about snatching her ass up. Now, do you want to do this the smart way or be dumb as hell about it?”

“Did you bring your security here to jump me?” Bernard charges.

Calmly, Stenton responds, “B, I wouldn’t let my men lay a fucking hand on your cotton ass. But don’t get it twisted, I’ll smack the shit outta you my damn self if you don’t go somewhere and sit the fuck down while she gets her shit so we can go home.”

“Zoey,” Bernard calls over to me. “You called him to come get you?”

“Man, I don’t have time for this shit. I’m being charged by the minute on the charter.”

“I’m her fiancé!” Bernard screams, apparently losing it.

“Not anymore. I’m her future,” Stenton quietly, yet powerfully declares.
And I feel my lungs again.

“Stenton!” I gasp, partly cautioning him and partly taken by his assertion. 

“No,” Stenton shakes his head. “I’ve done too much second guessing over the years…wasted too many guaranteed good years assuming I was overstepping. Today, I take control. Starting now, we breathe again together.”

I catch it…every hidden point he makes. I process them immediately. There is no delaying my reaction. I turn to Bernard.

“Bernard, I’m leaving. You warned me last night to think long and hard. Now I’m deciding. I don’t think this relationship is for me.”

As I move farther into the room, his eyes are on me…everyone’s eyes are on me. I toss my things into my luggage and move towards the bathroom to clean my face and mouth.

“Stenton, you can wait outside. I’ll be there once I change. It’s okay,” I assure. It’s weird having tree-tall and beefy men hanging in the doorway while Bernard’s down to his boxers and I’m in my rumpled sundress.

Stenton shakes his head then turns to his security. “I’ll be right out.”

He then closes the door behind him and rests against the wall with crossed arms, one leg on the wall, and his eyes plastered to Bernard. My gut tells me there’s no point in arguing with him, so I don’t. I slip into the bathroom and quickly handle my business. There’s no need to leave those two alone for long. When I come out, Stenton’s holding my bags by the door and Bernard’s face is tightly screwed.

I walk over to him. “Bernard, for the record, I didn’t call Stenton to come and get me. I don’t want you to feel so powerless here, but after our conversation last night I realize we don’t belong together.” I grab my head, frustrated by the position I’m in. “You know our chemistry isn’t for marriage.” I point to his pull-out. “We’ll talk in a few days…or weeks when the dust has settled, okay?”

Bernard doesn’t answer. He barely looks at me. I reach up and cheek the side of his face, not kissing him, but implying it. I hear Stenton shuffle from the wall and retract. By the time I turn to leave, Stenton has the door open for me.

 
~~~~~~~~~~

We don’t speak on the flight home. We eat and sleep, hardly touching. When the car pulls up outside of my apartment, I turn to Stenton and exhale,
feeling my lungs again
.

“I guess it’s time to say something, at least.” I crack a wry smile.

Stenton shakes his head. “We don’t have to. As long as it’s understood that you’re mine from here on. We’re
together
,” he gives a one cheek smile, mocking my term from years ago.

“But what does that mean? I don’t want to rush anything. I feel like we need to establish a starting point, not just for us but for Jordan, too.”

He nods. “So, we date.”

“Huhn?”

Stenton shrugs. “I’ve given this some thought for weeks. We date. I’ve never courted you…I’ve never given you those fundamental things a woman your age deserves…
before you seduce a man
.”

I can’t help my giggle. I toss my head back on that one.
He’s never going to let me live that down
. Stenton gives a full smile.

When I sober, I say, “Speaking of which, I think we should delay that portion of this new venture.”

“Shit!” His face drops.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that I want this to feel new. I’ve needed that for some time now. We now have that opportunity.” I try to soften it with a moue.

“For how long?” His scowl is set.

“Just until it’s the next gradual step for the
both
of us.”

Stenton wrinkles his nose. “Can’t we count last month and skip to the next step?”

Afraid to ask what the next step will be, I reach over and caress the side of his face, loving the feel of the pads of my fingers against his stubble. That was a bad move. Our contact is electrifying.

Stenton quickly licks his lips as he straightens in his seat, he then roughly wipes them with his thumb while his eyes are cast somewhere in the distance.

I’m panicking.

“Is that a major issue for you?”

Slowly, he rakes his eyes until they meet me. “I’ve waited all this time, I can wait as long as you need. Understand you’re with me now. No more games. No more waiting. Only me. Officially mine.” Then his gaze turns piercing. “Just know, I’m not Bernard. And with that, I’m not okay with not being able to quench my need of you. That celibacy shit until we’re married don’t fly. I have my needs
of you
.”

I nod hoping he doesn’t hear my heart racing, my pulse speeding.

“No.” he shakes his head. “I don’t think you do. It means we
will
get married. It may not be next week, or next month, but marriage is our destination. I won’t rush you for a date, but do implore you to give it some thought. I meant what I said in Ocho Rios, I’m taking the driver’s seat from here on out.”

My palms go clammy, mouth dry.
He’s serious!
I nod my head, stunned by his declaration. I reach behind me for the door. Stenton grabs my right hand and lifts it to his mouth for a sweet kiss.

“Get some sleep, Niña.”

“You, too,” I murmur before leaving out.

~~~~~~~~~~

Stenton:
Hey

Me:
Hey yourself. How’s your day coming along?

Stenton:
Overcast. You’re not here with me.

Me:
*Swoon* Is that a ploy to get into my panties?

Stenton:
No. I own those panties. I’m just waiting for you to accept that. The purpose of this text is to ask you out on our first date. I have tix to see Maroon 5 in the city Thursday. Think you can find coverage?

Me:
I’m a bawse. I can make coverage. I’ll be there. Try to keep your hands off of me tho.