Love for Scale (21 page)

“What time’s the first appointment?” Finn asked, looking at the dashboard clock.

Staring at him, Rachel was confused. “How would I know, I haven’t called him yet. When did you want to get your hair cut?”

Finn laughed. “Sorry, I meant for the apartments. When is our first appointment tonight?”

“Oh, oops, I guess that makes more sense.” Rachel pulled out her phone to look at her schedule of appointments. “Seven-fifteen at a building on the corner of King and Davenport.”

“Okay, we’ve got some time. I don’t know about you but I’m sure I worked off about a thousand calories in the pool. I’m starving. Let’s go to Wendy’s and get a salad or something.”

Rachel nodded, glad he’d suggested it because she was hungry too.

But sharing another meal: did that qualify as another date?

* * *

Finn pulled his car up next to Rachel’s, shifting into park.

Bone tired and emotionally drained, Rachel pushed the button on the buckle to release the seatbelt.

“I’m sorry that wasn’t more fruitful,” Finn said.

“It’s okay,” Rachel said. “Thanks for coming with me. It was nice having someone on cockroach patrol with me.” She gave him a weak grin. “I guess I’m going to have to re-evaluate my budget.”

“I’m really sorry about those places. I guess I should have known better, but it’s been a while since I’ve been in the rental market.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I can actually afford more; I just have no frame of reference when it comes to how much I
should
be spending.”

“Well, I’m still up to going with you once you line up some more appointments. Maybe after the next Aquafit? That was a great class, by the way.”

“Yeah, Gordon’s pretty good.”

Finn snorted. “Sure, if you can get past his perfect body and great looks.”

He looked over at the silent Rachel. “I’m just kidding. No, you’re right he’s good. It really was a great class.” He reached into the center console and pulled out a pad of paper and scribbled a phone number on it. Holding out the paper, Finn smiled. “Will you give me a call when you get home?”

“Huh?” Rachel said, not moving to take the paper.

“It’s late and you’re tired. I just want to make sure you get home okay. Take it.”

Taking the paper, Rachel stuffed it into her purse.

“So I guess I’ll see you on Friday,” Finn said.

Oh God, the first ever Stern family Shabbat
. “Yeah.” Rachel hauled her tired frame out of the car. “See ya.”

“Don’t forget to call me, Rachel,” Finn called after her.

* * *

Although all she wanted to do was go straight to bed, Rachel knew there was no avoiding a conversation with her mother who sat at the kitchen table, working on her crossword.

“Were you out with Sheri tonight?” Pearl asked, not looking up from her paper.

Rachel emptied the dirty Tupperware containers out of her lunch bag into the dishwasher and then tossed the bag into the cupboard. She didn’t have the energy to pack anything for the next day, but would still be able to stick to her diet. She had scoped out the food court of the mall next to her branch and knew she could get a big salad that would keep her on track.

“Mmhmm,” Rachel mumbled, hoping Pearl wouldn’t probe into her evening’s proceedings: she didn’t have the energy to come up with anything plausible. It was almost ten o’clock and between work, Aquafit and the emotional rollercoaster of trying to find an apartment, her brain had turned to mush.

“So, this
doctor
who’s coming for dinner Friday…Anything I should know?”

What should you know? Like, are we exclusive…sleeping together…engaged? Won’t you ever get off my back?
“What do you mean?” Rachel snapped.

“Is he kosher? Or one of those vegetarians?” Pearl had never understood why anyone wouldn’t eat perfectly good meat. ‘God put cows on the earth, we should eat them. If we weren’t supposed to eat them, why would a corned beef sandwich taste so good? Oy and don’t even get me started on those
meshugenahs
who won’t even eat an egg…’

Rachel sighed, suddenly sorry she had overreacted and attacked her mother. “Oh. Um, I don’t think he’s either, but I’ll check. What are you making?”

“Well, you say he’s on a diet also, so I was going to make a chicken soup, a salmon, and some vegetables. Does that sound okay?”

What? A Stern meal without a hunk of beef or at the very least, a veal roast? And her mother wasn’t even being sarcastic when asking if it would be okay. Shocking. Obviously, her mother’s menu choices were strictly for her and Finn’s benefit. “That sounds perfect.” She managed, suddenly emotional. Being overtired probably had something to do with it.

“I’m going to bed, Ma. Goodnight.” Rachel kissed her mother on the cheek and turned to leave the kitchen.

“Rachel?”

Rachel stopped and looked back at her mother. “Yeah?”

“Let’s go shopping.”

Rachel glanced at the clock and almost started weeping at the thought of going out again. “Now? Is the grocery store even open?” Her mother wasn’t making any sense.

Pearl stood up and approached her daughter. “No, not for food. For clothes.” She took Rachel’s hands, holding them away from her body and looked her up and down, a smile on her face. “You’ve been doing so well with your diet. It’s time we got you some nice clothes. You don’t need to be dressing like an old lady.”

Rachel swallowed. Her mom really was proud of her. She smiled, cursing the lump in her throat.  It didn’t even matter that Pearl’s motivation for getting Rachel new clothes was probably due to the Jewish doctor coming for dinner. Rachel was beginning to feel like she deserved a few new outfits. Clothes that weren’t made with stretch polyester. Maybe even a pair of pants without an elastic waist. Well, maybe she was being a bit premature about abandoning the elastic pants, but she was well on her way.

“Thanks, Mom. That would be really nice.”

“We’ll go tomorrow night. That way you have something nice to wear for dinner on Friday.”

Rachel’s shook her head but was still smiling. Her mom was so transparent.

“What?” Pearl asked, looking over the rims of her reading glasses.

“Nothing, just that I had a feeling you had ulterior motives.”

Pearl feigned shock. “Who? Me? I only want you to look nice for Shabbat.”

“Sure, sure. For Shabbat…Okay, Ma. I’m going to bed.”

“You need to look nice for the Shabbat, Rachel. If you happen to
also
look nice for a young doctor, well what’s wrong with that?”

Rachel rolled her eyes, “Mother we’re just friends.” Tired to the bone and unwilling to start an argument with her mother, she left the kitchen and walked down the short hall to her bedroom.

Remembering she had promised to call Finn, she pulled the piece of paper out of her purse. She dialed his number, cradling the phone with her shoulder so she could start getting undressed for bed. He answered after only one ring.

“Hi Finn, I’m home.”

“I’m glad. Thanks so much for calling, Rachel.”

Rachel pulled the ponytail out of her hair, tossing the elastic onto her dresser. “No problem. Um, about dinner Friday, I’m supposed to ask if you have any special dietary requirements.”

“Nope, none at all other than the whole Weight Watchers thing, of course.” He paused before continuing. “I had a good time with you tonight.”

“I did too,” Rachel admitted. And it was true: even though the evening had involved bathing suits and several apartments that should have been condemned, she really had enjoyed herself with Finn.

“And um…” he went on, “I would really like it if we could see each other more…”

Rachel panicked. “Okay, um, I’ve really got to go to bed, Finn. I’ve got to get up really early in the morning.”

She hardly gave him a chance to say goodbye before she hung up the phone.

Chapter 29

The next night, once her family was done with dinner, it was time to go shopping.

Rachel offered to drive and as they got into the car, buckling up for the short drive to the mall, a thought occurred to her. “Are you sure you want to go to the mall? It’s the week before Christmas. It’s going to be a zoo.”

“So maybe there will be sales.” Pearl was a woman determined and no manner of persuading would change her mind.

Rachel put the car into gear and backed out of the driveway. “Okay then, but I don’t want to hear one word about the ‘
meshugenah goyim
and their Christmas shopping.’”

“Well really, what are they thinking with all the gifts and the credit cards? I saw a
Dateline
the other night about the amount of debt people go into over the holidays, just buying presents for their families. I don’t think that’s what Jesus had in mind for his people.”

What have I done?
Rachel cursed herself for having opened the floodgates. She was starting to wonder if going shopping with her mother had been such a good idea. But then again, it was a good way to solidify her resolve to move out. Pearl at close quarters was sure to make anyone want to pack their bags.

But by the time they got to the mall, Pearl’s un-PC Christmas pet peeves and frustrations were all out of her system and she actually had a smile on her face.

“So what do you think, Rachel,” she asked as they made their way through the crowds to the plus-sized store. “Skirts or pants?”

Rachel tilted her head. “Not sure, let’s see what they have.” She was excited to be at the mall; it wasn’t the one near her work (which Rachel was tired of), so it offered lots of possibility that she would find some nice, non-dowdy outfits.

Two hours and countless trips to the change room later, Rachel and her mother left the mall, Rachel laden with several bags containing three new outfits. She had only planned to buy one, but Pearl had convinced her to buy them all and that she could always take in clothes once they got too big. Rachel couldn’t argue with that logic.

So now as they walked toward the car, Rachel’s mood was light, excited to wear her new, slimming clothes. Although they weren’t actually smaller in size than what she had bought before, the clothes now fit properly instead of being tight and straining at the seams. That in itself was a triumph as much as losing a dress size. And anyway, going down in size would come too.

“Wow, I’m tired.” Rachel put her bags into the back seat before getting behind the wheel. She yawned as she turned the key in the ignition.

“There’s something I want to talk to you about, Rachel.”

A sense of impending doom washed over Rachel as she put the car in gear. Girding her loins, she glanced over at her mother. “What?”

“Now this doctor…”

God, not this again. Rachel turned back toward the windshield and pulled out of the parking spot, glad for an excuse to not have to look at her mother. “Ma, we’re just friends. Really, okay?”

Pearl’s listening skills had never been her forte.

“Are you and him…” Pearl paused, obviously choosing her words carefully. “Sexually active?”

“Mother!” Rachel almost swerved into another car.

“I’m just looking out for you, Rachel.”

“I said we are just friends.”

Pearl scowled. “I know all about FWB, Rachel.”

Rachel looked over at her mother again. “What on earth are you talking about?”

“You know,
friends with benefits
.”

As Rachel nearly swallowed her tongue, she glanced over at her mother, somewhat heartened that Pearl actually looked uncomfortable. “It’s just that we’ve never really talked about…you know…sex. And since you’re seeing someone now, I think it’s time.”

This is not happening. My mother is not initiating a sex talk with me.

Rachel pulled up to a red light, giving herself a moment to think about the best way to approach this, the most uncomfortable conversation she could ever imagine. She had assumed and hoped that since she was twenty-seven (twenty-seven!) and her mother hadn’t broached the subject in high school, that she had managed to dodge the conversation altogether. Wrong, Pearl was just waiting for a time when she felt Rachel would need it.

God, she assumes I’m a virgin.

Not that Rachel was far off. Her sexual history was far from dynamic let alone plentiful, her current number of sexual partners having been stuck at four for the past three years. And even then, none of those partners had convinced Rachel that sex was all Sheri made it out to be.

But she still wanted nothing to do with her mother’s sudden need to discuss sex with her.

“Ma, for starters, Finn and I are just friends. Not
friends with benefits
; just friends. I’m not sure how many times I need to tell you that. Secondly, I really don’t want to be discussing sex with you.”

Unfortunately, a speeding and on-fire eighteen wheeler couldn’t have stopped Pearl from the road she was heading down. “Sex is not something anyone should be ashamed of, Rachel.” Although her tone wasn’t convincing.

I can’t believe this is happening to me.
Rachel sped up the car, desperate to get home and away from her mother.

“Are you thinking about birth control, honey?”

No, I’m thinking about parricide.
Blood started bubbling up into Rachel’s cheeks; she could feel herself getting hot with anger.

“No, mother. I’m not thinking about birth control because I’m
not having sex
. Not with Finn, not with anyone. And quite frankly, even if I was, it’s none of your business!”

Pearl gasped beside her. “Don’t you talk to me like that, Rachel Stern.”

Rachel pulled into the driveway. She slammed hard on the brakes, jerking the car to a stop before turning on her mother. “Listen, Mother. You started this and I’m going to finish it. I do not need your lecture on sex nor on who I should or should not have it with. It is none of your business if I am on the pill or not. I appreciate that you are interested in my wellbeing, but you know what? I’m twenty-seven. I’m an adult who doesn’t have to answer to her mother for her sex life.”

The words fell out of her mouth fast and furious as Pearl just stared at her daughter slack-jawed.