Love Inspired February 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Reunited Family\The Forest Ranger's Return\Mommy Wanted (35 page)

“Not anymore. You love me. I know you do, so don't deny it. And I love you. So now it's about us. If you leave me, you'll break my heart. And I don't think you're the kind of man to do that to a woman he loves. Are you?”

“Oh, Jules.”

He stepped back and she dropped her hands. But it wasn't enough distance. Even if she lived on the other side of the planet, it would never be far enough away. Not for him.

She was right. He couldn't hurt her. Even if she stopped loving him some day, it'd be his heart that would be broken. And he loved her so much that he'd prefer that over hurting her.

“You remember I told you once that I started running when I was fifteen years old?” she asked.

He nodded, unable to speak.

“Well, it's occurred to me since then that I've been running almost my entire life, Dal. Lately, I've started wondering what I'm running away from. I don't want to run anymore. And I'm wondering what you're running away from, too. I mean, how much do we have to prove to the world before we cut ourselves some slack? Will we ever be good enough for each other?”

“I don't know.”

“Your words tell me that you're tired of being alone, just like me.”

“Yes.” But it might not make a difference. Not for them. Not ever.

“Then don't you think it's time we accept ourselves for who we are and stop running away?” she said.

He lifted one shoulder. “I don't know if that's possible, Jules.”

“It is if we decide it is. I want you in my life, Dal. I'm willing to take that step if you are. And I know, with you by my side, I'll be strong enough to face whatever life throws our way. But I'm afraid if you leave me now I'll never recover. I'll never be whole again. Please, Dal. Please don't leave me ever again.”

The blood drained from his face and he swallowed hard. Her eyes gleamed with tears, and he realized how much he'd hurt her. How much he never wanted to hurt her again.

Dal looked over Julie's shoulder as another truck pulled up. Cade got out, his expression solemn as he sauntered toward them. And then Dal knew the truth. Cade must have done something to sabotage Dal's truck. To make sure he couldn't go anywhere. To give Julie time to find him.

Dal wanted to be angry at Cade, but he just couldn't. And it occurred to Dal that Cade had done the Lord's work today. Cade had intervened when Dal was about to do something completely stupid.

Like walk away from the woman he loved.

“Well, I can see Cade's here to help you out.” Julie bit her bottom lip. “I'm going back to town now. If you want a life with me, you know where to find me. But you'll have to make the next move, Dal. Our happiness is in your hands. And I'm trusting you to do the right thing.”

Turning, she walked away, giving a simple, curt nod to Cade as she opened the door to her car and slid inside.

Dal stared after her, his mind filled with a trillion scrambled thoughts. He opened his mouth to call her back, but didn't speak. Deep in his heart, he felt numb and empty. Convinced that his leaving town was the best thing for both of them.

* * *

Two hours later, Julie sat on the steps of her front porch. She'd missed the 5K race and hadn't returned to the park to see the winners. Right now, she didn't care. Not when everything of importance had collapsed around her.

Her entire world had left town without her.

Looking up, she saw a truck parked in front of her house. She blinked to clear her eyes, thinking it was identical to the vehicle Dal drove. But it wasn't his. It couldn't be. It...

And then she saw him. Standing beside her mailbox, watching her. A slight smile curved his handsome mouth, his eyes glowing with wonder and love.

She came to her feet so fast that she almost fell headfirst into her flowerbed.

“Hi there,” he said.

“Hi,” she squeaked.

And then she was in his arms. She didn't know if he ran to her or she ran to him. Maybe they met each other halfway in the middle of the yard. It didn't matter. Not anymore. Not as long as they were together.

“You came back for me,” she murmured against the collar of his shirt.

“And I'll never leave you again.”

She breathed in his warm, clean scent, hardly able to believe he was really here. “You sure I'm what you want?”

“Oh, yes. I can't even think about living the rest of my life without you in it,” he said.

His arms tightened around her and she burrowed closer. His words filled her to overflowing.

“I love you, Dal. I always have. That was why I fell and sprained my ankle that day I was jogging out in the fields. I saw you and couldn't believe my eyes. I was just so afraid. So afraid you wouldn't want me ever again. I... I'm used merchandise. My foster father took everything I had to give you.”

“Don't say that. It's not true.” His voice sounded harsh. “I just want you, Jules. That man wasn't a foster dad. He wasn't a father. He was a monster. A beast. I hope he rots in prison for what he did to you.”

“It might not be Christian to think that way, but so do I. He needs to stay where he can't hurt other children,” Julie said. “But you've made me feel whole again. Like I'm a person of value and that I matter.”

“You do, honey. You do to me.” He kissed her forehead, her ear, her lips. Quick, furious kisses that left her feeling joyful and breathless.

Her heart did a myriad of somersaults. Speaking the words out loud, she felt so free. Finally free.

“I love you, Jules. So very much. But those three words don't begin to describe how I feel about you.
I love you
seems so paltry compared to how I really feel about you.”

She lifted her face to him, her eyes dripping with tears. “Do you mean that, Dal?”

He gave a hoarse laugh. “Oh, yes. I'm crazy about you, girl.”

“And I'm crazy about you.” Her voice trembled with the intensity of her emotions.

“Okay, then. Marry me and put me out of my misery. Please, sweetheart.”

His words brought a zipping thrill to her chest. “You know, I come with extra baggage.”

“Me, too. I'll always have an amputated leg. I'll always walk with a slight limp.”

“Oh, I couldn't care less about that. But I'm talking about a child.”

He spiked a brow upward. “Huh?”

“Marcus.”

“Marcus?” He frowned in confusion.

“I made some inquiries with his social worker. I love that little boy and plan to adopt him. I got word yesterday that they're going to speak with him. If he's in agreement, he's mine. My son. So if you marry me, you get both of us. We're a package deal. Congratulations, Dal. You're about to become a father.”

He blinked, and a smile widened his mouth with awe. “Really?”

“Yes, I told you there were ways for us to have a family together. And I meant it.”

He threw back his head and laughed. “You never cease to amaze me, Jules. I think that's a wonderful idea. In fact, on the drive over here, I was hoping to ask you about Marcus. He needs a family, and heaven knows we need him, too. We'll be a real family. As long as we're together. Say you'll be mine and make me the happiest man on earth. Please.”

“Yes, oh, yes!” Wild laughter shook her chest.

He kissed her. A soft, gentle kiss that filled her soul and kept growing from there. His kiss grew stronger, filled with the passion they'd both kept locked inside their hearts for all these long, lonely years. And then she knew she'd never be alone again. And life seemed wonderful all of a sudden. So grand and filled with marvelous possibilities.

When he drew back and gazed down into her eyes, she saw that he was crying, too.

“I guess we're both finished running,” she said.

He gave her a tender smile. “At least from anything other than a marathon. I'm afraid you're stuck with me now.”

“Good. That's what I needed to hear.”

“As long as we have each other, there's nothing we can't do. Even have more children someday.”

“Yes, together.” And she believed every single word.

Epilogue

F
ive
years later, the scrumptious aroma of baking filled the kitchen. The last batch of chocolate-chip cookies had just gone into the oven. Julie set the timer for ten minutes, then reached for the empty mixing bowl and submerged it into the sink of hot, sudsy water. Her round tummy bumped against the counter and she paused, feeling the thumping movements of her and Dal's baby inside her. This would be their third child.

Correction. Their fifth. First, they'd married and adopted Marcus. Then Teddy, who was now eight years old and had freckles and red hair the color of a new fire engine. Then Julie had discovered she was pregnant, and they'd had twin girls eighteen months earlier. Now Julie was five months along with this new baby.

Another boy.

Clasping the dishcloth in her hand, she scrubbed cookie dough off the bowl, rinsed it and set it aside in the dish rack. As she worked, she hummed a lullaby to herself. A song she remembered her own mother singing to her when she'd been young. Julie marveled at the miracle God had worked for her and Dal, feeling more content than ever before in her life. Who would have believed that just five years earlier, neither she nor Dal had thought they could ever have kids. And here they were expecting their fifth child!

A thump came from the back of the house. Dal and the kids must be finished raking the fall leaves out of the backyard.

Her husband and their children.

“Here comes the Tickle Monster.” Dal's happy voice boomed throughout the house.

A cacophony of delighted squeals erupted down the hallway. Dal thundered into the kitchen, holding a twin girl in each of his arms. Marcus clung to Dal's back, laughing at the top of his lungs. Teddy's C-Leg prosthesis caused little hindrance as he bear-hugged Dal's waist. The man looked like a giant spider with so many kids hanging off his tall frame. The border collie they'd brought home from the animal shelter ten months earlier jumped up and barked, scrambling around the melee of boisterous kids.

Jerking her head around, Julie gazed at her husband and children with amusement. As usual, bedlam had exploded in their house. With this many kids, they were never a quiet family. And she loved it. The caring. The camaraderie. She'd never be alone again.

“Mom!” Teddy ran to her, throwing his arms around her thick waist.

She picked him up, holding him to the side of her baby bump. She looked him in the eyes and kissed the tip of his nose. “Hi, sweetheart. Have you been having fun?”

He nodded. “Yeah. We jumped in the leaves.”

“Well, I hope after you were finished, you bagged them up for the garbageman to haul off.”

The boy rested a hand on her shoulder, his innocent face carved in a serious expression as he offered reassurance. It made him look so much like his father that it made her throat ache. “Don't worry, Mom. We took care of it. It's all cleaned up.”

“Cookies! Thanks, Mom,” Marcus exclaimed.

He dropped away from his dad's back and snatched a warm morsel off the cooling rack Julie had laid out on the table.

She gave Dal a dubious glance, noticing a dried leaf clinging to his dark hair. “I can see you've got the kids all wound up tighter than springs. Thank goodness you got some work done, too.”

Dal flashed a wide grin, a laugh rumbling inside his chest. “Yes, ma'am. The leaves are all raked and bagged up for the garbageman.”

“Mom, we played hide-and-seek, too, and I hid in the leaves,” Marcus said.

Wiping her left hand on a dish towel, she reached for each of her boys to give them a kiss and a tight squeeze. “You did, huh? Is that why it took you all so long?”

“Yeah, but it's Dad's fault. He brought out the Tickle Monster.” Teddy showed a toothless smile as he spoke around a mouthful of cookie.

Julie chuckled, washing the beaters while she listened to her children tell her how the Tickle Monster had kept throwing them into the leaves and prevented them from getting their work done. Of course, Dal was the Tickle Monster. If she weren't so far along in her pregnancy, she would have been outside with them, jumping in the leaves herself. It felt so good to know her children were happy. To know they all belonged to one another. A real family for keeps.

To add to the joyful chaos, the phone started ringing. Julie glanced at the wall, feeling a bit flustered with her hands immersed in a sink full of water. She snatched a dishcloth to dry them off, but Dal beat her to the phone.

Planting a quick kiss on her lips, he reached for the handset. “I've got it, hon. You kids, pipe down for just a few minutes.”

He handed one of the twins off to Marcus, and the children quieted to a dull roar.

“Hush, Barkley.” Teddy latched on to the dog's collar to calm the agitated mutt.

“Hello.” Dal looked at Julie and smiled, waggling his eyebrows at her. He swept little Deanne up against his shoulder and gazed into her large brown eyes as he held the phone against his ear. She promptly tried to stick her fingers into his mouth, and he pressed his lips tightly together.

Julie couldn't suppress a delighted laugh. With a busy career and a houseful of kids, she figured Saturday mornings would never be tranquil again. Thank goodness Dal was such a hands-on father, and his work at the horse camp allowed him to shuttle their children around. During the winter months when he wasn't so busy working at Sunrise Ranch, he was able to do the bulk of the laundry. Without his generous assistance, she didn't know how she could do it all. Of course, a kind child-care provider helped out with the younger children, as well. And during the summer months, Marcus and Teddy shadowed Dal at the horse camp to help with the amputee kids. Life wasn't calm and serene around their house the rest of the week, either. And she wouldn't have it any other way.

“Trisha. Hi! How are you doing?” Dal paused for a moment, listening. “We're all fine. Julie's feeling good with this new pregnancy. It hasn't been as difficult as it was with the twins.”

Julie's ears perked up when she heard Trisha's name. The only Trisha she knew was the social worker who had helped them adopt both Marcus and Teddy. Life had thrown them some surprises, but Julie remembered a time when she had no family at all. She figured it just couldn't get better than this. Taking a deep inhale, she savored these precious moments with her little ones.

She rinsed a dish and set it in the dish rack, eavesdropping on Dal's end of the conversation. The boys took the twins over to the table where they sat and munched on cookies. While Dal continued his conversation, Julie dried her hands and poured milk for each child. She put a sippy lid on the cups for the little girls, who were more prone to spills.

“You have one more child for us?”

Julie straightened quickly and spun around, pressing a hand across her middle.

Dal met her wide gaze across the room. “Yes, Julie's right here with me. She's listening.”

Another long pause.

“Her name is Melanie, and she's missing her right arm at the shoulder? An orphan. No parents to love her. Almost six years old. A real sweetie. Long blond hair and blue eyes.”

He repeated the conversation out loud for Julie's benefit. When she thought about this little girl needing a family, her heart gave a powerful squeeze. Another amputee child without parents needed a loving home. A feeling of anticipation grew within Julie, along with a fear that she wouldn't be strong enough to care for another child. And yet, God had strengthened her to meet the needs of her quickly growing family. She couldn't believe how fast time had passed. And she remembered something her own mother had told her once, so very long ago.

Hands full now, hearts full later.

Yes, that described Julie's feelings perfectly. She was busy. But one day, her children would be grown and she'd have them forever. So much joy that she could hardly contain it within her heart.

“You're looking for a home for her, huh? Another adoption,” Dal said.

No big surprise there. Trisha only called when she wanted to check up on the kids. Or to see if they were interested in adopting another child into their home.

Julie looked around her kitchen, filled to overflowing with kids, warmth and love. Her gaze locked with Dal's, and she saw the adoration and happiness shining in his eyes. Without saying anything, each knew how the other one felt. For a couple who had believed they would never marry and have the blessing of children in their lives, their house was now full. The home they'd bought together wasn't overly large, but it was comfortable, clean and warm. Their kitchen was filled with good, nutritious food. The minivan parked out front included room for eight seats. And it looked as though they'd need it.

Their choices might seem strange to someone else. Too many kids. Too much work. Someone who didn't understand where they'd been and how much they cherished their family might not approve. But that didn't matter to them. Julie had nothing to prove to anyone. Not anymore. The Lord had wrought a miracle in their lives. For her and Dal. For their family. They had each other. They had everything. Their whole world was right here, within their small home. What more could Julie ask for?

Lifting her head, her eyes burned with tears of gratitude. Dal paused, patiently awaiting her answer. She walked to him, and he opened one arm for her to snuggle close against his side. She knew without a doubt that he'd tell Trisha no if she didn't feel good about it. Dal's loving consideration for her well-being touched Julie's heart as nothing else could. For him, Julie and the kids always came first, before his own wants and needs. And she tried to do the same for him. They had each other's backs, keeping God at the center of their union. Putting their marriage and family above all other pursuits.

Gazing up into her husband's eyes, Julie nodded and Dal gave a short laugh of happiness. And as he said the buoyant words into the handset, Julie knew it was the right decision for them to make.

“Yes, we have room for one more.”

* * * * *

Keep reading for an excerpt from HER VALENTINE SHERIFF by Deb Kastner.