Love Inspired March 2014 - Bundle 2 of 2: North Country Family\Small-Town Midwife\Protecting the Widow's Heart (4 page)

“The day Noah got beaten up by his former friends was the day I knew getting him more counseling wouldn't help. We had to leave.” Her eyes were dark beneath her damp eyelashes. “But leaving hasn't helped. I can't get him to let go of his anger.”

“We'll figure out a way,” Rick assured her. “Don't worry, Cassie. Once the two of you are involved in our church groups—”

“I won't be involved in them.” She looked at him with an iciness that dared him to argue. “I can't be in a church, near people who call themselves Christians, without having it all come rushing back.”

“These are not the same people, Cassie.”

“But it's the same God. Where was He when my son—my
innocent
son—was being bullied? Why didn't He help us?” She glared at him, demanding answers.

“He did help you. He led you here,” Rick murmured. “To a new life and a chance to start over.”

“I will start over,” she said with a nod. “But I don't intend to make the same mistake twice. I will not trust God again. It's too hard when He fails to come through.”

“Cassie—”

“Don't.” She shook her head. “I know what you're going to say. It's the same thing my father said to me.
Jesus never fails.
”

“It's true.”

“In my case it isn't.” Cassie held up a hand. “Don't trot out any more verses, Rick. I'm a preacher's kid. I've heard them all. But I don't believe in them. Not anymore.”

So much pain. Rick knew he had pushed Cassie to her limit, and now it was time to back off.

“I'm sorry.”

“So am I.” She emptied her cup in the sink then turned to face him, her voice hard. “I hope you've heard enough to figure out how to help Noah because I don't intend to talk about this ever again.”

“I appreciate your confiding in me,” he told her quietly.

“If Noah wants to sing in your choir, I have no objection. If he wants to attend your church, that's also fine.” The gold in Cassie's brown eyes flashed. “But don't expect me to do the same. Despite my father's admonitions about fleeing the fold, and any rebuke you might want to add, I will not be part of your congregation, Rick. Now, excuse me. I need to change.”

Cassie swept out of the room and in that instant Rick's heart rate ripped into skyrocketing overdrive.

He suddenly realized why her face seemed so familiar.

Rick had seen a photo of a young Cassie every time he'd visited John Foster, the minister who'd saved him countless times while he was living on the streets, and who'd mentored him on his path to salvation and helped him get into seminary.

John carried a picture of Cassie in his wallet, and had a larger one on his desk. Sometimes Rick had come upon him staring at her photo, murmuring a prayer for her.

If he was honest, Rick had to admit he'd also been a little resentful of Cassie. She had a real home, a fantastic father who loved her, people who took care of her and made sure she was safe.

It had seemed to Rick that Cassie had everything and he had nothing. No family, no permanent address, no one who cared if he came or went. Even worse, there was no one to soothe his hurts. Oh, how he'd longed for that.

Rick wasn't sure how it had happened but the more he saw Cassie's photo, the more he'd stared at it, until he'd begun imagining a future in which he had all the things she did—a home, a family and love.

Funny thing was, as he and John deepened their friendship, Rick began to understand how deeply the caring father mourned the fact that he wasn't able to be with his daughter as much as he wanted. And why hadn't he?

Because John had been spending his time with Rick trying to help him find a way out of his life on the streets.

One more thing Rick had to feel guilty about.

His soul groaned under the weight of it.

* * *

When Cassie finally returned downstairs, the house was bustling and Rick was gone.

“L-look, Mom,” Noah said, excitement glowing in his blue eyes. “It's s-snowing like c-crazy.”

“Sure is,” she agreed after a glance out the window. “Does this mean the fireworks for tonight are canceled?” she asked Laurel.

“Rick said he thought they would be. He's gone to set up a post at the church in case anyone gets caught in the storm and needs refuge.” She smiled. “He's always thinking of others.”

“P-pastor R-Rick is going to s-start a choir,” Noah told her. “He a-asked me to j-join.”

“That sounds like fun.” Cassie held her breath, unwilling to show any hope that he would get involved in something with his peers. “Do you think you will?”

“M-maybe. I l-like singing.”

“Good.” Cassie exchanged a nonchalant glance at Laurel, knowing she'd understand. “So what will we do for New Year's Eve?”

“I'm glad you asked,” said Cassie's friend.

Laurel already had a list of things she needed to prepare so the boys would enjoy their evening despite the fireworks cancellation. Cassie was glad to keep busy, hoping it would keep her mind off her conversation with Rick, when she'd dumped her past all over him, wept on his shoulder and then told him she'd never darken the door of his church.

She felt stupid, weak and ashamed that he'd seen her so needy, but being in his arms had felt wonderful.

Though Sara and Kyle were away for the holiday, Sara had left the freezer and cooler well stocked. Cassie and Laurel chose two casseroles and set them to bake for dinner, then prepared snack foods for later in the evening. They were putting the finishing touches on a series of sweet treats when the power went off.

“I was afraid this would happen with that high wind,” Laurel said when it hadn't come back on after twenty minutes. “I need to go out to the shed and start the generator so the furnace will keep us warm.”

Cassie watched her bundle up, unable to stem her worry. She stood at the window in the front hall and tracked Laurel through the whirling snow to make sure she arrived safely. But when minutes turned into half an hour and Laurel hadn't come back, worry burgeoned into fear. She'd just put on her coat to follow her friend when she saw Laurel pushing her way back through the drifts.

Cassie glanced at the light in the hall. The bulb remained unlit.

Apprehension filled her, but she tried to hide it as she met Laurel at the door. Once her friend was safely inside she quickly shut out the wind and snow.

“What's wrong?” Cassie asked quietly.

“I can't get it to start, though I tried about a hundred times.” Laurel shivered as she rubbed her hands together. “Kyle tested it last week. It should be fine.”

“So what do we do now?” Cassie whispered.

“I don't know,” Laurel admitted. “We have to have heat so I'm going to read the manual again. Maybe I missed something.” She hurried to her office.

Cassie stood in the hall. She wrapped her arms around her waist and shivered, trying to fight off her fear.

“M-mom, Laurel's c-cell phone is r-ringing,” Noah bellowed from the kitchen.

Cassie answered. Her heart jumped a beat when she heard Rick's voice.

“Hey, Cassie. I tried the landline but I couldn't get through,” he told her. “Is everything okay?”

“The power's out,” Cassie murmured, keeping her voice low so the boys wouldn't guess from her tone how vulnerable she felt. “I guess that took out the phones.”

“You haven't started the generator yet?” Rick sounded puzzled.

“Laurel tried. It won't start.” Cassie went to Laurel's office but didn't find her there. “Laurel's not available right now. I'll have her call you.” She didn't want to keep him when he must have things to do, but the sound of his voice was so reassuring.

“I contacted the power utility. A line is down. Apparently it will be a while before power will be restored.” Rick paused for a moment. “But you guys need heat and that means the generator. I'm coming out there.”

“In this storm?” Cassie glanced outside. Fear tiptoed along her spine. “It's too big a risk.”

“Not at all. I know the landmarks along the way. I won't get lost,” he assured her. “Besides, Kyle's taught me all the wilderness survival techniques he knows.” He paused a moment. “I can't just leave you there, knowing you're in trouble.”

“But it's so dangerous to travel in a storm.”

“It's nice of you to worry about me, Cassie, but I'll be fine.” His warm voice eased some of her concern. “See you in a bit.”

“Please be careful,” she whispered.

“Always.”

Cassie hung up, unable to stem her worry. So many things could happen to Rick.

To keep herself busy, she set the table and mixed up a salad, trying to maintain her facade that nothing was wrong until Laurel decided how she wanted to explain the situation to the boys. A few moments later Laurel returned, having taken a second shot at fixing the generator. Cassie filled her in on Rick's call.

“I tried to talk him out of it but he insisted,” she told Laurel helplessly.

“He would. That's the kind of man he is. Always giving for others.” Worry showed clearly in Laurel's frown. “Can you keep the boys busy? I'm going to pray for Rick.”

“I hope it works,” Cassie told her.

“Prayer always works, Cassie. God always hears us. Romans says, ‘Anyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved.'” Laurel gave Cassie a quick smile before she left the room.

Cassie wasn't as certain as Laurel about God's protection, but she'd had enough conversation about God for one day.

Lives got chillier as the day went on. Laurel explained their predicament to the boys, who grew increasingly more solemn as they waited for Rick. Though it was barely mid-afternoon, the light was fading fast. Cassie knew that Rick's chances of arriving safely during the storm dropped considerably with every minute that passed.

When the last of the day's light faded, Cassie and Laurel raided Kyle's cupboard for emergency lanterns, which the boys began cranking. Then Cassie asked them to cut used milk jugs into candleholders.

“Wh-what are they f-for?” Noah asked.

“We'll put them in the windows so Rick can find us in the storm.” It was silly, but Cassie couldn't suppress her desperation to do something, anything, to help Rick reach them. Surely God wouldn't let anything happen to His emissary, would He?

He let other things happen.

Her heart squeezed tight at the foreboding that filled her. Cassie began to wish she could pray. But she couldn't get the words past the distrustful block in her throat. God had let her down before. How could she trust Him now, with something as important at Rick's life?

Then, above the whine of the raging wind, she heard the roar of a snowmobile. Her heart surging with relief, Cassie followed Laurel and the boys to the front door where they all urged Rick inside.

“What is this, an honor guard?” he joked, dragging off his helmet.

Everyone laughed, shattering the tension. Laurel urged the boys to go back to their warm quilts in the family room while Cassie helped Rick slide off his snow-covered coat. When his green eyes met hers, her heart beat so fast all she could manage was, “Welcome.”

Cassie didn't think she'd ever been so glad to see someone in her entire life.

“Awful night to host a party.” Rick tossed her a brash grin then kicked off his boots. Cassie and Laurel followed him as he hobbled to a kitchen chair and rubbed his toes. “Sorry it took so long. I made a wrong turn. Kyle will ream me out when I tell him,” he said, looking slightly abashed. “Thanks for lighting those candles. Believe it or not, they helped.”

“That was Cassie's idea.” Laurel turned to wink at her.

“Thank you, Cassie. I appreciate it.” Rick's gaze clung to hers a bit too long before he turned back to Laurel. “Give me a few minutes to get the ice off my feet and I'll go check on the generator. I brought some extra gas for it in case you're low.”

“We have lots of gas. I just can't get the thing to start,” Laurel complained.

Cassie smiled as the boys returned and gathered around Rick, drawn in by his charisma. Wrapped in their warm blankets, they sat on the floor at his feet, asking a thousand questions, barely waiting for answers.

Rod had been at Lives the longest and had beaten Rick at checkers many times. Bryan had begun to adapt to his diabetes, thanks to Rick's encouragement. Barry was the quiet one, but his adoration of the young pastor was clear. Michael suffered from depression and Daniel dealt with the aftereffects of drug use. The newest arrivals were still finding their way at Lives, but as Rick laughed and joked with them, each boy joined in.

Every so often Rick's eyes lifted in search of hers. Each time Cassie pretended to be busy, too aware of her heightened response to him, too embarrassed by the surge of relief that had filled her when he'd walked through the door.

“Okay, I'm ready,” Rick said to Laurel as he rose. “Got a couple of flashlights?”

She handed them to him. “I'm coming, too,” she said. “I need to see what's wrong.”

“Okay. See you guys in a bit,” he said cheerfully. With a smile that seemed to be just for Cassie, he and Laurel left.

Cassie wasted the next ten minutes telling herself she would have worried about anyone who had been out in a storm like this. By the time the power flickered on, she'd almost convinced herself it was true. But when Rick returned and accepted the hot chocolate she handed him, her heart was still thudding and she couldn't catch her breath.

With the furnace blasting out heat, Lives quickly warmed up. Cassie and Laurel finished preparing supper using candlelight to save the generator because no one knew when power would be restored. Then they all gathered around the big table to eat.

Cassie was not surprised in the slightest that Rick made the meal joyful, from his grace of thanksgiving to the jokes he shared.