Love Is a State of Mind: Nobody's Life is Perfect (30 page)

We walk back along the grass, but nearer the river, this time.  When we get to the wooden jetty near our boat, we all sit down and savour the gentle lapping of the water and the night sounds. The stars are out and glowing brightly above us and we’re silent, as we all just simply look and listen to the night around us.

“I’ll give the agent a ring in the morning,” says Marcus.  Jane takes his hand.

“This could be our life,” she says, as another owl hoots.

Dan grins.  “Bloody hell, mate, does that mean I’ll have to put up with you two more often?”

I quietly pat myself on the back.  I may just have played a small part in them saving their marriage.

Chapter Twenty-Four

When we get back to Adelaide, their large house with its ocean views seems too civilised, almost too urban.  The Murray, with its slow, sleepy existence, its magnificent red cliffs and its abundance of nature, has seeped into my brain.  I miss its beauty and plethora of bird life.

I’m jolted back into the modern world, with its quicker pace.  Cars are everywhere, joggers run past the house and groups of cyclists in lycra, scream down the road at lightning speed.  Even though we’ve only been gone three days, I feel disorientated.  I think Marcus and Jane feel the same, but I sense a calmness about them.

I don’t want them to come back and forget what they were thinking when they were away from here, so I bring the subject up again the next day, when we’ve all had a good night’s sleep.

When Marcus has left for work, I say to Jane, “So, how do you feel, now you’re back?”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, any regrets about what you said to Marcus, about the house?”

“No, not at all, funnily enough.  I think this house is too big for us – I’ve often thought it, but didn’t want to move, because it’s so much hassle.  But you’ve made me see the truth and I’m looking forward to a new phase …”

“That’s so brilliant, Jane.  I know it’ll make Marcus happier and you’ll be able to sort out your finances.  Why don’t we look on the internet and see what you could get round here?  What would you want – a small house or a flat?”

“I don’t know … let’s have a look.”  Jane gets out her laptop and we browse through loads of properties in Brighton, Hove, Somerton Park and Glenelg which are located back from the sea.  If Marcus is going to continue going into the city, they should buy something that makes his commute easy so we look at places near the station.

Soon, we’re perusing places in Willunga and Aldinga down the coast and Stirling and Strathalbyn up in the Hills.  It reminded me of my search in Bath – how easy it is to end up miles away in both location and price, from your first search.

“We need to get this valued, so we know how much we’ve got to play with,” says Jane, “then at least we’ll know.  The houses on the sea front here go like hot cakes – I don’t think we’d have any problems selling it.”

Jane closes her laptop and says she must start work.  I take the opportunity to catch up with emails and Facebook.  I open my laptop and there are several emails I need to answer, two of which are from Ben and Holly.  I decide to download some photos I’ve taken to attach to an email in reply so Ben can see how much I’ve enjoyed using his present and Holly can see what I’ve been doing.

Ben’s email reads:

Hi Anna – I know you’re on the River Murray, but thought I’d write this anyway.  I hope the trip was good?  I’m assuming you’re back, as you’re reading this.  I’m really beginning to miss you – I’ve missed you all the time, but … time seems to be dragging now and there’s still ages till you get back.

Grace and Daisy left yesterday, so I suppose I’m feeling sorry for myself.  I hate the fact that my daughter is going to be so far away and there’s nothing I can do about it.  I’m going to go up there next weekend and check it all out.  I still haven’t met Greg (the new man) – he’s always been deliberately absent when I’ve gone there, so I’ve told Grace that when I come up, I want us all to go out together and she’s grudgingly agreed.  I want to feel confident that Greg is a good bloke, which Grace assures me he is (but she would, wouldn’t she?)

Anyway, enough of me.  I hope you’re having a fantastic time … you deserve it.  Maybe one day, we’ll be able to visit Oz together … if you’d like me to come with you, that is!  I know we haven’t spent much time together yet, but I feel great when I’m with you, Anna, and I’m hoping you feel the same about me?

When you get back, why don’t we plan a few days away together?  Maybe somewhere new for both of us, with no history?  I’d love that.

Anyway, enjoy the rest of your time.  It must be soon that Adam’s coming over?  I hope it goes well.

Can’t wait to hear from you.  Ben xx

I get out my phone and look at the pictures I have of him.  I find myself smiling, as I scroll through the photos and realise that even though I’m having the time of my life out here, I really miss him.  I don’t know how anyone would describe our relationship – is it love?  I don’t know any more.  All I
do
know is that, like him, I feel great when I’m with him and you can’t ask for much else, can you?  He makes me feel young again, which can’t be bad … we make each other laugh, we enjoy the same things …

I tell him all about the trip and my hopes for Marcus and Jane.  I try to reassure him about Greg and tell him I miss him.  I end like this:

I know it’s early days for us, Ben, but I feel the same … I think of you a lot … I often find myself imagining you and me together, on these beautiful beaches, walking hand in hand.  Soppy, I know, but that’s how I feel!

I’ve got Gaz to thank for bringing us together, that night, in the pub all that time ago.  I’m sure if I’d been sitting there on my own, without him, you’d never have come and spoken to me – it would have seemed too much like a pick-up!  He was our go-between.  We’ve got a lot to thank him for.  God, I miss that dog.  Maybe … one day, I’ll get another one, but it’ll never ‘replace’ him.

Yes, Adam’s here next week.  I’m so excited and for some reason, a bit nervous.

Will write very soon.

Miss you, Anna xxx

I feel guilty that I read Ben’s email first, before Holly’s, but knowing her, she’d say ‘Go for it Mum.’

I open her email.

Hey Mum, I know you’re back today.  I’m going to ring you, your time around 7 pm.  BE THERE!!! Love you, Holly xxx

I stare at her words and wonder why she’s going to ring me – it doesn’t sound as if there’s a problem, somehow.  We’d said we’d only ring if there was an emergency – what’s so important that she can’t tell me on the internet?

I spend the day walking on the beach and even have a (very shallow) swim in the sea.  No one else is in the water and I begin to wonder if they know something I don’t.  I constantly look for shadows and jump when a piece of seaweed brushes against my skin.  I get out, vowing to go to the shark-free environs of the pool tomorrow and then go back to the house to have an afternoon nap.

As seven o’clock approaches, my stomach begins to churn.   I’ve prepared spag bol for our supper and Marcus has just got in.  When the phone rings, I grab it and go to my bedroom.   I fumble to press the green phone icon to answer it.

“Holly!  Hi!  How are you?”

“Mum!  I’m fine.  More than fine, actually!”

“What?  What’s happened?”

“Jed proposed and I said yes!”

“Oh my God … that’s fantastic.  I’m so happy for you.  Tell me everything …”

“Well, Jed suggested we go for a walk at the weekend.  It was quite cold, but we both like walking, so I didn’t think anything about it.  He wanted to catch the tube to Camden and walk on Primrose Hill.  I’ve never been there before, so I thought it was just about that.  We walked past all these amazing houses worth millions and wondered who on earth can live there.  I dragged him into this gorgeous coffee shop – he didn’t seem to want to at first, and looking back, it was probably because he was on a mission to get me to the top of the hill.  He seemed a bit distracted, but we had coffee and cake there and then wandered on.  I had no idea what a wonderful place it was, Mum – we went to the top and gazed out at the view, right across London in all its glory, with its stunning skyscrapers.  And then he did it, Mum – he delved into his pocket and opened this ring box and asked me to marry him.  He completely took me by surprise …”

“How romantic, Holly.  Did he get down on one knee?”

“Well, he said he’d planned to, but then sort of forgot, as he was so nervous.  I’m glad he didn’t, to be honest, I think I would’ve laughed.”

“So … have you set a date?” I ask.

“Not yet … but he says he doesn’t want a long engagement and neither do I.  When you know it’s right, what’s the point of waiting?”

“Exactly … has he told his parents?”

“Not yet, I wanted you to be the first person to know and Jed was cool with that.  He’ll ring them tonight.  And when I get off the phone, I’ll call Dad.  I’ll email Adam too.  You’re seeing him soon, aren't you?”

“Yes, in a few days.  Wow, Holly … I can’t get over it.  What brilliant news.  What’s the ring like?”

“It’s beautiful – if I’d chosen it myself, I’d have picked it.  It’s white gold and three diamonds.  I don't know how he managed to get exactly the right size for my finger.  I’ll have to ask him.  Anyway, I better go now – God knows what this is costing on the mobile, but … I wanted to talk to you, in person.”

“Thanks so much.  Lovely to hear your voice.  When I get back, you two must come to Bath and …”

“Okay, Mum … will do.  Love you!  Byeee.  Byeee.”

I stared at the dead phone.  Holly would make such a beautiful bride. 

I found tears in my eyes – why do women cry when they’re happy?

*

“So … what’s Jed like?” asks Jane.

“He’s lovely – perfect for Holly.  I couldn’t be more pleased for her.  He’s got a really good job – he’s a barrister, so they won’t be short of a bob or two and … more to the point, he’s a really nice person.  I
knew
they’d get married, I just knew it.” I’m grinning, I can’t stop.

“Do you think they’ll live in London?”

“I’m sure they will.  That’s where they’re both now, anyway.  Maybe in the future, they might move out but …”

“Do you think you’ll stay in Bath?”

“I think so.  I’m enjoying being in a city, for a change.  It’s nice to be able to walk to the theatre … any more thoughts about you two?”  I don’t want to nag, but I really want to see some sort of movement before I go home.

“Marcus rang about the shack today.  They haven’t had any offers yet and they implied the kids are keen to get their hands on the money.  It’s 210,000 Aussie dollars.  They’re waiting to see if they get offers, if not, they’ll hold an auction.  But even if that one goes, we can look at others – it won’t be the end of the world.  We can’t do anything till we sell this.  We’re going to ring an agent we know and get him round.”

“That’s great, Jane.  I hope you don’t think I’ve interfered …”

“No, don’t be daft … I needed a kick up the backside to see what was in front of my eyes.  All I need to do now is gently persuade him to give up the wine,” she laughed.

“Well, tread carefully.  One step at a time.”

*

I get the opportunity to talk to Marcus alone, a few days later.  I’ve noticed that although his mood has lifted, he’s still swilling back the wine, like it may run out.

One night, Dan came over and we all went to Grange to a restaurant on the beach.  The sunset was amazing and I spent at least half an hour wandering around taking pictures, after we’d finished the meal.  When I got back, he and Dan were on their third bottle and poor Jane was looking out to sea, with a look of desperation on her face.  I resolved then to speak to Marcus.

Jane went out early evening to visit a client; she apologised, but said there was nothing she could do.  I assured her that I’d survive without her and ushered her out of the door, knowing that now was my chance.

“It’s all looking very positive on the house front, then?” I say to Marcus, who is sitting reading The Australian on the sofa.  He looks up, a bit distracted momentarily, but then pulls himself together.  He has a glass of red, by his side.

“Yea … this guy I know, Richard, is coming over at the weekend to take a look at this.”

“That’s great, Marcus.  Jane seems to be well up for it now … we were chatting today and she’s really keen …”

“I hope she doesn’t chicken out this time … we’ve been here before, as you know …”

“No, I’m sure she won’t.  She understands how important it is for you – she really loves you, you know.”  I’m building up to bringing up his drinking and I’m trying to play the psychological card.  My heart begins to quicken – I wonder if I’m overstepping the mark?  Jane did warn me not to say anything.

“I know she does,” he says with a smile.  “You two are so alike … I’d never realised before.”

“Are we?  In what way?”

“Oh, everything … your looks, your laugh … the way you put your finger on your chin when you’re thinking about something – like you’re doing now.”