Love Is Louder (18 page)

“Daddy!”

Looking up from the lens of my camera, my dazed head spins from focusing on Lily. My heart stops, and the blood flowing through my veins freezes as I look into the very eyes of the man whom I have been running into over the last few of days.

What are the odds that he is this little girl’s father?

There’s a fleeting moment of silence between us as he stands in front of me, exuding a strong confidence. I shake my head, bringing me back to the present with him.

I eye him gingerly, dressed in faded jeans and a damp white T-shirt. I have to stop looking at him, but I can’t. Damn. His eyes are scorching pools of heat, and his body is something to be worshiped. He’s affected me this way since I opened the front door weeks ago. I can’t remember what he was there for. Oh, right. The washer.

Thank you, washer.

Raising his brow in surprise, his eyes look me up and down, and a slow, wicked smile tugs at his lips. We stare at each other for much longer than two people who barely know each other should. I swiftly rise, needing to savor the sight of him.

Who knows when I would see him again?

Lily grabs his arm and says something to him, and he tears his eyes away from mine, breaking the spell for a second as he tells her to be quiet for a moment. He sheepishly runs his hand through his hair, causing his shirt to strain around his bicep as he tries to gather his thoughts while I also try to locate and organize mine.

“We have to stop meeting like this.” He exhales a deep raspy chuckle that makes my heart skip a beat.

No. No, we don’t.

I have to stop thinking like this, thinking about him. James is giving us a second chance.

“Hi, Mason.” My heartbeat slows down when he takes my hand, and his warm fingertips touch my skin. I am shocked to discover that I want not just for him to touch my hand but every part of me. I want to know what he tastes like and how his lips feel pressed against mine. Alarmed with the direction of my thoughts, I clear my throat and manage to smile.

“Hi, again,” he says, his eyes scanning me, making my cheeks blush.

He has a nice smile, the kind that’s both sincere and genuine. I look away from him, glancing around the studio to distract my eyes. The room grows quiet, even though Lily is skipping and twirling around the studio.

When I return my attention to Mason, I cannot help but sense that all these encounters are not happenstance. I know this is the child inside me talking, the one that believes in fairy tales.
Why am I feeling this way when I have James?

I need to keep away, but another part of me relishes in running into this guy and how he makes me feel.

Brie’s reaction to my arrival is nothing more than priceless. A stunned expression lines her exquisite features when we make eye contact, causing unexpected emotions to stir within my gut. She’s a fucking jewel, precious and one of a kind. I’m practically eye-fucking her every which way possible.

Why couldn’t I find her first?

Just once I wish luck would be on my side.

I must look like shit. My hair is disheveled from walking over. My neck drips with sweat, and my clothes are sticking to my skin. I’m thankful her air conditioner is working properly, and then I’m not, since I won’t be getting any service calls to repair it. Releasing her hand, she raises a brow and finally smiles, nervously running her hands down the length of her short dress.

“How long have you been standing here?” She doesn’t have to feel nervous around me, but seeing her react to me in this way makes her more desirable because it’s clear to me she feels the same level of attraction that I do for her.

I stare at her for a few more seconds, lost in thought before I reply, “Long enough to see you laughing, telling Lily to be silly in front of the camera, and encouraging her to do whatever she wants.”

“I find that you get the most candid and natural shots that way.” Her brown eyes are filled with pride, and her luscious, scarlet-tinted lips curl into a beautiful smile.

“You have a way with kids, too.”

“I love kids,” she murmurs. Her smile diminishes slightly, which I find odd. “Someday, I hope I’ll have my own. I’m just really busy right now with the studio.”

Why does the thought of having kids upset her?

“She’s really fun, Daddy,” Lily chirps.

Brie’s eyes soften as she watches Lily skip around the photo studio and play with the props used for the photo shoot. I know what she’s thinking. I made a promise to Lily; she gets to call me Daddy, and now Brie is standing in front of me thinking Lily is my daughter, and in all intents and purposes she is.

“Yeah, I’m glad, pumpkin. I can’t wait to see the pictures. I’m sure they came out great.”

“Do you know what her nickname is?” Lily gushes, clapping her hands.

“No,” I answer, keeping my eyes on Brie as Lily tugs at my arm.

“Bam Bam! Isn’t that funny?”

Yeah, okay. I’m a guy, so several images cross my mind, but she doesn’t come off like someone who would earn that kind of nickname for what she does in the bedroom, but I’ve been surprised before. Sometimes the more reserved women end up being the kinkiest ones in bed. My mind is having a field day with this, especially since I’ve seen what she can do in her yoga class.

“Bam Bam?” I raise a brow. “So, what did you do to deserve that nickname?”

“Now, don’t go thinking something crazy,” she muses, catching my eyes as she turns to her camera, trying to hide the crimson that rushes to her cheeks.

“Been there and done that.” I chuckle.

“Typical male.” She laughs.

I wish she didn’t look so damn sexy when she’s embarrassed, because it’s making it even harder to keep my thoughts tidy.

“B.A.M. are my initials. Brie Aria Malone. Pretty Simple. BAM!” she punctuates it with a lackluster fist pump and a dramatic eye roll.

“Ahh…I like it.” I wink as a laugh slips through my lips. “A lot actually.”

“Yes, please, don’t go telling anyone. Only a few old friends and my family know.”

“Lips are sealed.” I gesture with my finger across my lips, throwing away the imaginary key.

“Thank you.”

“No problem,
Bam Bam
,” I tease.

“Ha-Ha.” Her tone is light as she shakes her head.

“Okay. There are two things you need to know about me. One...”

“You’re never late,” she finishes. “I got that one.”

“You remembered?”

“Well, I had to rush home that day. You know how important it is to have clean clothes, right?”

“Sure. Sure.” I chuckle softly at her attempt to downplay the fact I might have crossed her mind a few times since our first encounter.

“And, so what’s number two?”

“Number two...” I pause. “People trust me with all their secrets.”

Her face pales, and she clears her throat before she straightens her shoulders. “Who says I have any secrets?”

“We all have secrets, right? Some good, some bad, but something hidden all the same.”

She nods subtly, and for a moment, I wonder if she’s going to respond, but there’s nothing but dead calm between us for several seconds. Her obvious struggle with the topic tugs at my heart, so I change the subject.

“So, tell me. Is this your place?” I cajole, admiring both the studio and her.

“Kind of,” she answers as a smile dances in her eyes. “I’ve been leasing this space for the last ten months. I hope to buy it, if the landlord is willing.” She turns and starts to dismantle her camera from the tripod.

Shit, she’s been here ten months, and I’ve not seen her in town until now? What a shame.

“I always thought James would be taking over in some big city. He’s always been larger than life,” I say. When I look back at her, she’s standing there with a pensive expression marring her delicate features.

“I’m hungry,” Lily whines.

I quirk a brow at Brie who nods before my gaze jerks to the left where Lily is sitting on the floor playing with several stuffed animals.

“Sorry, sweetie, give me five more minutes to finish with Ms. Brie,” I answer.

“Is five minutes a long time?”

“No, baby. Almost done.”

“Okay. Five minutes,” she sings as she grabs a set of wooden blocks and starts stacking them on top of each other.

“Thank you.”

I return my attention to Brie who has now successfully put away her camera and is intently watching Lily with a distant look in her eye.

Her eyes meet mine, and I wonder what she’s thinking, but I don’t care to ask. I witness it in her eyes—the same look that stole the sparkle from her eyes when I mentioned kids has come to extinguish the light again. I consider the thoughts streaming through her head, but this part is out of my hands, because I don’t know her that well and I won’t push her to tell me. She has to want to open up, and from the looks of it, she’s having a hard time with it. I stare at her for a long time, wanting so badly to know what she’s thinking and feeling.

“So…no big city for you?” I pick up the conversation where we left off.

“We tried. In Boston and New York City right after college,” she replies, avoiding my eyes. “James thought we needed to move here, somewhere less chaotic for a little while.”

“
How long have you been living in town?”

A beat passes as my gaze delves into hers, revealing traces of pain and anger, like a cloud blocking the sun, feelings and desires she’s been trained to hide.

“We moved here about a year ago when James got the district attorney’s job. While he was doing that, I was trying to establish myself. Keeping busy.” She peers around the studio, folding her arms across her chest. “This is my baby.”

“Sounds like you spend a lot of time here.”

She drops her arms slowly to her side.

“Yes, business has been great. I may need to hire a couple of assistants, but for now, I’m doing okay. I like to spend this time alone.”

“You don’t want to burn yourself out.”

“Photography is my passion. It’ll never bore or burn me. It’s the one thing I can make my own. When I’m behind the camera, I dictate how I want the world to look. It’s how I perceive it. No one can tell me otherwise.”

She draws in a breath, struggling with something I wish she would share with me. I lose myself in her sad beauty. I watch her watching me. Something is off, but I can’t quite figure out what. I want to know what’s causing the dark shadow to cross her features like a ghost. I wish I could find out more about her. I wish for so many things, and one of them is her. I need more time with her. More talking. More everything. I want to reach out and touch her and protect her from whatever it is.

I shove my selfish thoughts away. “My sister loved to take pictures. You would have liked her,” I murmur, sliding my hands into my pockets.

“Liked?” she asks in a gentle voice.

I never open up about Meadow, especially to someone I barely even know, but talking to her seems so natural. “She passed away four years ago.”

This is a first, talking about my sister.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she replies solemnly, touching my arm to comfort me.

I look down at where her hand made contact with my skin and back up at her.

“Yes, it was hard.”

I glace at Lily sitting on the floor, not sure what to do now or what to say next. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t speak of Meadow if I am going to feel so broken up about it. Speaking of her should make me happy, and it does at times, but the fact her death is still a mystery bothers me. I’m locked in an internal debate, trying to rationalize and fight these emotions when my phone starts ringing. I retrieve it from my back pocket and frown when Cindy’s name pops up. Brie looks up and retreats a step like she’s crossed an imaginary boundary, while I glance at my phone.

“I have to take this call.”

Cindy rarely calls me during the day. There must be something going down at the flower shop.

“Of course.” She nods. My thoughts, probably the same as hers, are interrupted by the connection we both feel. I don’t want to be wrong about this, but then again, it’s not like we can pursue whatever it is.

I swallow and answer the phone, “Hey, Cindy, can I call you in a bit? I’m picking up Lily.” I listen to Cindy ramble about a flower shipment not arriving on time for a wedding this weekend. “I’ll be right there. Calm down,” I reassure her, trying to talk her off the ledge. Never once do I take my eyes off Brie.