Love Is Louder (21 page)

Situating myself behind my chair, I adjust my dick tenting my slacks and flip open Meadow’s case file that’s burning a hole on my desk and in my brain.

“Rain check.” I shoot her a weary smile.

“Fine. I’m always here if you need
anything
.”Her voice is smooth as she opens the door. “You know where to find me.”

I concede with a slight nod before she steps out and closes the door.

With a sigh, I rock back in my chair and fold my hands behind my head, feeling guilty for so many things lately. Moving back was a planned move on my part, and since then, it’s been back-to-back obstacles and constant interference from my mother.

Leaning forward, I slowly thumb through the pages of Meadow’s file, trying to figure out who could have possibly put this case back on the radar. Her image haunts me to this day. She was a beautiful woman both inside and out. She didn’t deserve what happened to her.

The sharp bite of my cell phone breaks the palpable silence. I absently grab it while reading through the notes I made after reviewing the case all morning trying to decode the bullshit and any loophole I didn’t cover.

“Hello, James Fleming.”

“Good morning, Mr. Fleming.” The man’s voice is strong and confident, and one I don’t recognize. “I hear you’re taking on the Meadow Marks’ case. Isn’t that a conflict of interest?”

“Who is this?” I drawl out as I shoot up in my chair. “What do you want?” Anger is an issue I’ve dealt with since I moved back here. It’s too early in the day to lose it, so I swallow my frustration.

“Not sure yet. Still pondering my options.”

“Is this Mason? Mason Marks?” I pick up my letter opener and start poking the desk with the sharp edge. Who else could it be?

“Nice guess, but no cigar. I’ll be in touch again...real soon.”

“Were you—”

The line goes silent before I can complete my thought. I run my hands over my forehead trying in vain to get my brain to absorb what just happened. I should have left the office to get that damn coffee, but a trip to Starbucks is not going to make any of this shit go away. I grab my suit jacket before telling my secretary to hold my calls until I get back from making this one phone call.

I head out of the building, away from the center of town where it’s swarming with parents and kids running amuck. I immediately feel like a prick for not telling Brie that I’m not ready for kids. It’s not the answer she wants. It’s so damn selfish of me, but I can’t help it.

The look on her face—the one that unnerves me to the core each time we talk about having a family—it’s like she can read my mind. I need to figure things out. I can’t tell her there’s nothing to worry about when there is.

I let my worries scatter for the time being as I mingle and melt into the throngs of passersby. I place my call and locate a secluded spot when my attention is drawn to a little girl with wavy, dark brown locks dressed in a pink sundress with her backpack bouncing on her shoulders. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen her. I’ve watched her play in the park, not knowing who she was until Mason’s mother called out her name and then she disappeared in her arms and walked away. I didn’t get a good look at her. Not until today.

I disconnect my phone call without a second thought, even as the person answers with a hello. I feel the pull to look at this little girl more closely, to catch the color of her mother’s eyes, to get a peek of the little baby that survived the accident four years ago. Meadow told me a couple of times that if she was going to have a girl she was going to name her Lily after her favorite flower. And she did. Lily is as pure and innocent as they come.

Meadow was strong when Cole Foster left her. She never told me why he abandoned her, but I’m confident it was because he wasn’t ready to be a father. I have to say I can relate to that. There were times she wanted to tell me something, but she never got the chance, and that is all in the past now. Unspoken words, unspoken truths. Meadow was upfront and open, but when Cole left her, she became closed off. She didn’t smile the same way anymore, and it troubled me that she didn’t want to talk about it.

I tried to remain stoic when Brie told me Mason was Lily’s daughter, as it made the blood in my veins run cold. It fucking threw me. Why is Mason saying he’s her father and having her take his last name? Clearly, she isn’t Mason’s, but Brie wouldn’t know that. I only know because I knew Meadow, but I can’t tell Brie. I should, but maybe nothing will come of it. Maybe I don’t have to. Where is Cole? Has he not come to claim her? He must be scared shitless about fatherhood, like I am. It’s not that I don’t like kids. I like them, and I always thought of having one of my own, but now things are all over the place in my life. I can’t have the added responsibility of a child right now. It would not be fair to the baby if I can’t be the father I should be.

I briefly consider leaving the park, but the intrigue is too great. I’m drawn to her because of the case, what I’ve read about her life, and because she’s Meadow’s flesh and blood. I watch her leap into the arms of Mason’s mother, whom I’ve seen at the flower shop numerous times in the past, but now I find it difficult to even go by the shop anymore.

Like a coward, I hide myself, watching her with an almost morbid curiosity from behind a tree. She looks so much like her mother. I’d love to hear the sound of her voice. I bet it’s sweet and melodic like Meadow’s, whom I’d heard sing so many times. I feel ill, wondering what her life is like without knowing her parents.

Lily grins at her grandmother and wraps her arms around her neck and giggles. I smile, unable to pull myself away from seeing Lily so happy. Now, with the reopening of the case, it will allow me to learn more about Lily and her life without drawing attention to myself. Lily may come out unscathed, or she may be hurt, and I’d hate to see that. I may have a part in all of this, and it sucks like hell, but this is my job.

I grow self-conscious as the crowd thins. As I turn to leave, I peer across the park one last time and make eye contact with Mason’s mother. She sets Lily down to go play in the park and straightens herself, brushing wisps of her hair away from her face, her eyes once again connecting with mine.

F
uck. Did she know I was here all along? Does she remember me?

I give her a short, clipped wave and pull out my aviators from my coat pocket and slip them over my eyes, hesitating for a moment before I escape down the sidewalk and cross the street.

My phone vibrates in my hand, causing reality to come crashing down around me like a crumbling skyscraper. My attention was so wrapped up in that little girl that I’d forgotten why I came out here in the first place. I swipe my shaky finger over the screen and answer.

“Hello?”

“You called.”

“Yes.” I cover my ear with my right hand and rush through the crowd until I find a quiet area outside the coffee shop to talk. “There have been some developments you’re not going to like regarding Meadow’s case.”

“What? What are you talking about? I thought everything was taken care of. That—”

“I just wanted to make you aware of this,” I interrupt.

“What are we going to do?”

“We?!” I say, my voice rising. “I can’t get into this right now. I’ll call you later. This is a heads-up. I told you this might never go away.”

“But—”

I don’t care to listen anymore, so I hang up and turn off my phone. After shoving it into my pocket, I head to the liquor store before returning to the office.

I gulp down the rest of my scotch as I work, but my convoluted thoughts inevitably wander back to Meadow, Lily, and Brie.

The anxiety mounts within me at some of the decisions I’ve made and how they haunt me. Secrets I plan to take to my grave, if I can, and some that are unearthing themselves with a vengeance.

Heels click on the marble floor of the empty hallway, getting noticeably closer and abruptly stopping outside my door. I look down at my Rolex. It’s nearly seven o’clock. Everyone is gone for the day, well, almost everybody. I’m very aware of who is outside. I have become accustomed to the pace of her determined stride. Dragging myself from the past I’ve lost myself in for the past few minutes, I lean back in my chair, staring at the door as it slowly creeps open.

“James?” Lisa peeks inside.

“What is it?” I sit up straight in my chair, admiring her through my alcoholic haze as she saunters over to me with raw hunger in her eyes.

“Rough day?” she asks in a sultry voice. She stands still, making my cock stiffen as she bites her lip.

“Yes,” I mumble. Picking up the half full bottle of scotch, I fill my glass again as she comes around my desk. I drain the entire contents in one swallow and place the empty glass onto my desk as the burn coats my throat.

Pushing aside some files off the desk, she sits in front of me, crossing her legs and brushing up against my knee. I notice her nipples poking though her silk cream blouse, and I get a peek of her white lace bra.

Fuck...

“Very rough day,” I choke out gruffly, fully aware of what she’s doing to me. My confined cock is throbbing as I stare at the contours of her mouth. I want to feel her so badly. Leaning forward, she runs her hand down the front of my dress shirt with her plump breasts inches from my watering mouth.

“Let me make it better,” she whispers into my ear, gracefully pulling away like a cat so I can gaze down the length of her body.

I’m confused, drunk, and aroused.

Recognizing what’s going on and what shouldn’t happen, I push back from my desk to create some space between us, but she just stalks forward. I notice how her blue eyes slowly peruse my body. She presses her palms onto my chest and quickly straddles me.

“God, it’s hot in here.” She smiles salaciously as she unbuttons her blouse and pulls her blonde hair out of her bun so that it falls seductively over her shoulders in thick waves as her blouse slips off her shoulders.

I try to tell her to give me space, but the words don’t want to come out.

“Scotch...my favorite,” she purrs as she takes the bottle from my hand. “Do you mind?”

She wraps her lips around the rim of the bottle suggestively. Throwing back her head, she takes a generous sip before I can respond. I don’t like the direction I’m taking with this, but I draw in a deep breath and push all those thoughts aside. Lust prickles between us like a live wire, just waiting for the spark for everything to combust.

Before I know what I’m doing, I’m grasping her hips. She sets down the bottle and positions herself above my cock. Her lips part, her breathing increases as she watches my eyes with an increasing passion. My willpower is gone, taken under a strong riptide and swept away by the alcohol.

Shit. Fuck. Damn.

“James, say something,” she breathes over my lips.

I sigh raggedly and close my eyes. Guilt knots in my throat, but I don’t make a move to pull away. The scotch is being my friend and my enemy. With my resolve wavering, a moan stubbornly escapes my lips as she grinds against my cock. Making a noise in her throat, she unbuttons my shirt and runs both of her hands over my chest. She plants soft kisses onto my skin and runs her hand up behind my neck and then upward tugging at my hair.

Fuck.

Was this always there with me? Was it brewing under the surface and waiting for the right moment to take advantage of the obvious attraction? I made myself believe I was strong enough to fight her advances, but I was fooling myself all along. I don’t have it in me to resist. Before my mind can catch up with my dick, my hand travels down her cheek to her shoulder and then brushes over her breast. Her skin is hot and smooth, radiating the same desire I’m feeling. I watch her eyes, gauging her reaction to my moves. She gasps at my touch and leans closer with her supple lips slightly apart, her wanton eyes dropping to my lips.

When her gaze returns to mine, I don’t hide the predatory gleam in my eyes. My cock thickens and heat that I don’t deny or dismiss rages in my veins.

I can have all of her if I want her.

And I want her.

I grab her ass, pushing her into my steel cock as she wraps her arms around my neck.

“James.” She lets go of my neck and starts unbuckling my belt. She unzips my pants and slips her hands down my boxers, wrapping her hand around my shaft. “I need you.”

Completely at the mercy of my aching cock, I crash my lips against hers and run my hands up her thighs, pushing her skirt higher and tearing her thin lace panties off her body. I throw open my desk drawer and grab a condom. Why it’s here I don’t know. Perhaps I knew this day would come.

I have to have her now. I tear open the condom and quickly protect my dick as Lisa’s eyes lock with supplication. As I easily lift her and position her above me, she guides my cock to her wet heat. I savagely push her down by her shoulders so that she sinks onto my cock.

I unclasp her bra and take one of her nipples into my mouth, sucking her breast as she tugs and pulls at my hair. I grip her ass tighter, forcing her tight to my groin and roll my hips, hitting her pussy with the head of my cock. Her frantic moans drive heat to my balls. She rides me, her hips grinding, pumping up and down on my dick as her hands claw at my neck, our bodies pressed together hard as she cries out.