Love & Lies: Marisol's Story (21 page)

I was bawling like a damn baby by the time Olivia finally relented and put her arms around me. “Okay,” she said. “I guess I’ll give you a second chance. You should know, though, I seldom give anyone the opportunity to hurt me twice. Consider yourself fortunate.”

“I won’t hurt you again. I promise!” I sobbed.

“Once you said you’d
never
hurt me,” she reminded me, giving me a kiss on the forehead. “I’m going back to my guest house now—this whole day has just exhausted me. I’ll pick you up at ten o’clock tomorrow morning. Where are you staying?”

“The Bull Ring Condominiums. On Commercial at Pearl Street. Apartment Two.”

“Fine. We’ll have breakfast, and then you can ride back to the city with me.”

I almost protested. After all, I’d invited Lee to come on the trip with me, and, especially after everything that had happened, it wasn’t very nice of me to leave her alone with the guys. Besides, I wanted another whole day in Provincetown with everybody. We’d talked about going swimming at Race Point.

But how could I say no to Olivia after this? I couldn’t explain without telling her who Lee really was, and she would never trust me if she knew I’d lied to her
again
. And it wasn’t as if spending Sunday with Olivia was really a sacrifice—as long as she wasn’t still mad at me. Fortunately, the guys all liked Lee, especially Gio. I figured she’d be fine with them.

As I straightened up and looked at Olivia, I noticed Gio and Lee lurking outside the door to Butterfield’s, checking on me, I guess. God, had they witnessed this entire spectacle?

“Okay,” I said to Olivia, brushing away a few last tears. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning then.”

“You still love me, don’t you?” she said, loud enough for my friends to hear.

She cocked her head sideways and smiled, but the words rang in my ears. Why was she reminding me of my declaration before she’d said the words back to me? I nodded mutely.

Olivia leaned in and kissed me again, this time on the lips, long and hard. Even while I was enjoying it, it occurred to me that Olivia had seen Gio and Lee standing in the shadows too, and this show was for them.

W
HAT DO YOU MEAN
you’re leaving in the morning?” Birdie said. “You can’t just desert us like that!”

We were on our way back to the condo, the early fall breezes chilly after the heat of the bar.

“I’m not deserting you. I’m just leaving early,” I said. “Olivia is a little upset, and—”

“Well, so am I! Why do you have to do what she wants?” Birdie said. “We had plans for tomorrow, and she’s wrecking everything. I’m changing my mind about Olivia; she’s too bossy. You need a nice, normal girl, like Lee.”

“Shut up, Birdie!” I gave him the evilest eye possible. Did he have to give voice to every thought that passed through his hyperactive brain? No wonder he and my mother got along so well—neither of them could leave a thought unspoken. Lee was being very quiet, barely looking up from the pavement as we walked six abreast down the now-deserted street.

“I’m not crazy about Olivia either,” Gio chimed in. “I mean, she’s not a bad teacher, but there’s something so smug about her. Sort of arrogant.”

“Arrogant!” Birdie echoed. “That’s the word I was trying to think of!”

“You’ve only gone out with her a few times,” Gio said. “You aren’t
engaged
to her. I don’t see why she had to follow you down here and mess up your weekend.”

“She isn’t arrogant,” I mumbled. I didn’t intend to have a big conversation about this. I just wanted to get off the subject, but apparently that would not be possible.

“You don’t like her either?” Birdie asked Gio. “Man, I never thought I’d have anything in common with
you
!”

“Yeah, you’re practically twins now,” I said. “Could everybody please stop bashing my girlfriend?”

Damon cleared his throat. “Maybe Olivia just feels a little insecure about your relationship. Everybody feels that way sometimes.”

Birdie put his arm around the big lug’s waist. “But not you, amigo! Because I am loyal as a puppy!”

“Yeah, except when you’re calling me an idiot, or a pig, or something.”

“Damon, I adore idiots and pigs!”

“I’m sorry,” Gio said. “I’m just disappointed. We had so much fun today; I hate that you have to leave early tomorrow.”

“Well, I’m sorry to leave early too, but sometimes you have to accommodate your partner, you know?” As soon as I said it, I knew “partner” was not the right word to describe Olivia. A partner was someone with whom you were on equal footing, which did not seem to apply to the two of us, at least not at the moment. After that scene outside Butterfield’s I felt more like the princess’s naughty child. The brilliant and
beautiful princess’s naughty child, but still. I buried my hands in my back pockets and my own disappointment deep inside.

“Olivia is gorgeous,” Damon said, sincerely.

Birdie laughed. “We’re not blind, honey!”

But I appreciated my newest roommate’s plainspoken assessment of the situation. Olivia
was
gorgeous, and I was lucky to be with her. Even if she wasn’t in love with me, she was sleeping with me, so she must like me pretty damn much—what was I moping around for? I thanked Damon silently and let him advance a few rungs up the ladder of my affection.

Before Gio and Diana veered off to the parking lot at the wharf, the five of them made their plans for the next day, including an afternoon trip to Race Point before heading back to the city. I tried not to care that I wouldn’t be joining them, this motley crew who wouldn’t even know each other if it weren’t for me.

Diana gave me a hug. “I guess I won’t see you tomorrow. Have fun with Olivia.” I had the feeling Diana knew exactly what was going on in my head, in everybody’s head, and she forgave us all for our mistakes even before we made them. Lucky Gio, to be with her.

Lee hadn’t said a word to me since the incident with Olivia at the bar, and I wondered what was going on in her head. We were all tired by the time we got back to the condo and went to our own rooms. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I didn’t say something to her that night—in the morning I’d be too rushed. So I put on my bathrobe and knocked on her closed door.

“Come in.” She was sitting up in bed, wearing just the kind of Indiana-girl flannel pajamas I would have expected her to wear, writing in a book.

“Hey,” I said. “Is that your journal?”

She nodded and closed it. “I like to write things down before I forget how I feel.”

I tried for a rueful laugh. “So, I suppose tonight’s entry memorializes me for posterity as a selfish jerk, huh?”

Her smile was icy. “Get over yourself, Marisol.”

Worse than I thought. “Listen, Lee, I feel really bad leaving you here with people you don’t know very well, but you seem to get along fine with the guys. I can tell you like Gio, right? So, it’s not
that
terrible if I leave early, is it?”

“Why are you even asking me? You’ll do what you want to do, no matter what I say.” She wouldn’t even look at me.

I sighed and sank into a chair in the corner. “You’re really mad at me.”

“Not about that. I get along fine with the others, and I do like Gio. I think we’re a lot alike.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” I said. Which is when it occurred to me that I’d once abandoned Gio down here too, when I left the zine conference early with June and her friends from New York. But that time I’d felt I had to escape; this time I felt almost as if I were being dragged away. Which was ridiculous: I was leaving with Olivia, who I was crazy about.

“I’m just plain old jealous, if you want to know the truth,” Lee said, finally meeting my eyes. “Which I’m sure you don’t. You’ve got a beautiful girlfriend who I could never compete with. You didn’t even bother to tell me it was your
brilliant writing teacher you were dating—Gio told me that. Anyway, I’m mostly mad at myself for thinking there could ever be something between us. But don’t worry, I’ll get over it.” She brought her flannel-covered knees up to her chest and hugged them.

I didn’t know what to say. She and Gio had more in common than she knew—maybe they’d bond over it on the ride home.

Finally I said, “You know I really like you, Lee. A lot. It might have happened between us if I hadn’t met Olivia.”

“Yeah, you mentioned that.”

“Lee, you’re a great person. You’ll find a girlfriend—I’m sure of it.”

“You think that’s the answer, don’t you? Just get Lee a girlfriend. Any old girlfriend. You really don’t get it, do you?”

I got it; I just didn’t
want
to get it. “I’m sorry. How about if we get together this week back in town? Maybe we can go to a movie or something? At the Brattle, if you want. Are they still showing those Tennessee Williams films?”

She was quiet for a minute. “I think I need a little time to myself this week.”

I tried to ignore the solemnity in her voice.

“Come on, we can still be friends, can’t we?”

She looked at me sadly. “I want to be part of your life, Marisol. I just need to figure out how to do it without feeling like shit. Do you understand that?”

Congratulations, Marisol. You’ve hurt yet another person you really care about.

“Will you call me when you’re ready to see me again?”

She nodded.

“Okay. Well, good night then.”

“Good night.”

*  *  *

We all overslept the next morning, but Lee was gracious enough to give me the first shower in the bathroom we shared. I was stuffing my clothes into my backpack when Olivia showed up. Jesus, why didn’t I think these things through ahead of time? If I’d been ready earlier, I could have waited outside; now, not only would Birdie get to put in his unpredictable two cents’ worth, but what if Olivia saw Lee—who I’d told her was Gio’s girlfriend—in the condo? How could I explain that?

Olivia stepped through the door in white shorts and a black halter top, which left a great deal of skin exposed to the morning sun. Those long, tan legs were unbelievable, and I started thinking about how, when we got back to Boston, maybe we’d go to her apartment again. Yeah, this day might turn out to be incredible, as long as it wasn’t sabotaged in the next ten minutes.

“Nice place,” Olivia said. “How’d you get it?”

“Birdie’s mother is a realtor,” I said.

She shook her head. “Say no more. You rich kids love living off the largesse of Mommy and Daddy, don’t you?”

She gave a little laugh as she said it, and I assumed she meant the remark as a joke, but Birdie, just entering the kitchen, didn’t see the humor.

He pulled a bowl from the cupboard and banged it onto the countertop so hard I thought it would break. “Who made you Judge Judy?”

“Birdie’s inner comedian isn’t awake yet,” I said.

He mumbled something, and I didn’t ask him to repeat it.

“So, we have to get going, right?” I asked Olivia.

“That would be my preference,” she said.

“Okay, I just have to stick my bathroom stuff into my bag and I’m good to go.”

Even though I ran through the bathroom like Jackie Joyner-Kersee, as I was returning to the kitchen I heard Olivia say, “Oh, hi, you’re John’s girlfriend, aren’t you?” And sure enough, there stood Lee, blindsided by her nemesis before she’d even had breakfast. Now the truth would come out and I would be tarred and feathered, rightly, by both of them.

Fortunately, Olivia didn’t wait for an answer to her question, but forged ahead. “I’m Marisol’s friend, Olivia. I didn’t think you and John were staying here. Marisol said you lived in Truro.”

Damon walked into the room just then and swapped greetings with Olivia, which gave Lee a minute to figure out what assumptions Olivia was making about her. She settled back on her heels and looked Olivia right in the eyes. “Oh, I do live in Truro. We didn’t stay here; we just arrived before these sleepyheads were out of the shower.”

Damon looked back and forth between the two of them, completely in the dark, an unexploded grenade that could blow me up at any second.

“Complete sloths, aren’t they?” Olivia agreed. “Where is John anyway?”

“He ran out to get us some bacon and eggs for breakfast,” Lee said, the story slipping smoothly off her tongue. “These guys didn’t bring much to eat.”

I was clutching the back of a kitchen chair so hard my fingers were cramping. Lee was a saint to lie for me like this; I owed her, big time. I watched as Birdie took a box of cereal out of the bag of food we’d brought with us. Lee’s lie must have reverberated in his head until it made sense, because after half a minute he dropped the box back into the bag.

“Oh, he’s getting eggs? I didn’t know that. Good, I like eggs,” he mumbled.

“Little early in the morning for you, Jughead?” Olivia said, smiling.

“Okay, we’re out of here,” I said, before Birdie could think of a rejoinder. I turned to Lee. “Tell Gio I said goodbye and thanks for the ride down.” When I hugged her, she stiffened under my fingers and barely hugged me back. I tried to transmit my thank-yous and I’m-sorrys psychically, hoping she’d be able to read my mind.

As I squeezed past Damon, praying he was still too stupefied to speak, he grabbed me in an awkward embrace. “Bye, Marisol,” he said. “If Gio doesn’t come back soon,
Diana
and I will go out looking for him. We need eggs!” He was so proud of himself for figuring out the conundrum and fitting himself sideways into the deceitful little play, I gave him a hearty pat on the back.

By the time I got into Olivia’s car, there was sweat dripping down the sides of my face. And the morning was not that warm.

“I say we get on the road and stop for breakfast up in Wellfleet,” Olivia suggested. She obviously wanted to put distance between me and Provincetown as soon as possible. I
agreed, but turned around to watch my favorite place on earth disappear behind me in the rear window, like in some cheesy movie where the kid is forcibly removed from home and sits in the backseat tearfully giving it one last look.