LOVE LIFE and VOWS (10 page)

“But, Jason you shouldn’t be alone at a time like this.”

“Mom, I know you mean well, but Vicky and I need a little time and some privacy. Come back in the morning and bring Angel. I know she’ll want to see her.”

Miriam was about to object when Mr. Rutherford touched her shoulder. He understood, “We understand. We’ll see you in the morning. Call us if you need anything. Call us if you don’t.”

Miriam held her son close and kissed him on the cheek. “I love you Jason.”

“I love you too mom.”

Jason walked over to Shirley and kissed both her and a sleeping Angel. Mr. Rutherford carried Angel and walked Shirley and his wife to their car.

Franklin and Sandy were the last to leave. Franklin hugged his brother.

“You’ll get through this Jay. I’m here for you. Call me if you need anything.”

“Me too Jason. Please.”

“Thanks. I know Vicky will want to see you tomorrow Sandy.”

“I’d be here tonight if you weren’t putting me out but I understand.” She kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Sandy wanted to be there for Vicky when she woke up but Jason thought it would be best for everyone to go home. Reluctantly, she agreed to leave but would be back tomorrow to make sure her friend didn’t lose her mind. Losing her mind would probably be very easy to do.

Franklin walked Sandy to her car. Her hands were shaking so badly that she was fumbling with her keys.

“You okay?”

She couldn’t speak and shook her head no. Franklin pulled her into his embrace.

“Frank, this is hard. This is so hard.”

“I know. Almost impossible to process.” They stood there a moment not talking or moving just…standing.

He spoke softly into her ear, “Let me drive you home. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with you behind the wheel of a car like this. You can pick your car up tomorrow.”

Sandy agreed to let him take her home. The ride over to her house was solemn. It was still too shocking to even think that the baby was gone. Both of them were still trying to process what had just happened. Franklin kept Sandy close to him as she rested her head on his shoulder.

Before long, they arrived to her house. Even though it had been a few weeks since the last time he’d been here, it felt like longer since the last time he’d pulled up into her driveway.

Sandy lifted her head from his shoulder and blew out a breath, “We’re here. Thanks for bringing me home safely.”

“No thanks necessary. I’m just happy you let me bring you home safely. I’ll walk you to the door.”

“You don’t need to do that. But thanks.”

Once they reached her door, Sandy didn’t really want to be alone. She tried to find any excuse to prolong being with him.

She pinched the bridge of her nose before looking up at him. “My mind is so messed up. How exactly am I supposed to get to the hospital tomorrow if my car is there?”

He glanced down at those glassy blue eyes “It’s no problem for me to take you.”

Sandy found it difficult to pull away from his gaze. “Alright, just call me and let me know what time you’re going to pick me up.”

Franklin didn’t know he was going to kiss her until after he’d pressed his lips against hers. Sandy opened for him like a butterfly. She didn’t have the strength or the energy to push him away.

“Sandy, I need you…to be inside you tonight. Please don’t send me away.”

“I need you too.”

They barely made it inside the door before Franklin pulled her into his arms. Their kisses were needy, urgent, and maybe even a little desperate. They stumbled backwards towards Sandy’s bedroom kicking off their shoes and discarding clothing as they went. By the time they made it to the bed they were almost naked only his briefs and her bra and panty separated them.

Still unable to break their heated kisses, Franklin reached behind Sandy and unhooked her bra. He needed to feel her…skin to skin.

At the first touch of his body to hers, her body shuddered. She hated she was so weak for him, but she needed him tonight.

They fell back onto the bed their hands continuing to greedily roam one another. It had been too long since they’d been together…their need was raw and urgent. Just the thought of him being inside of her was almost enough to bring on a powerful orgasm.

Franklin rained kisses all over her face, her lips, and the soft curve of her neck. Somehow, he managed to capture her hands and hold them high above her head. Sandy had never felt more exposed or vulnerable in her life. Sandy loved this man with everything within her. She automatically opened for him while Franklin positioned himself at her entrance. He wasted no time entering her with one swift and urgent stroke. He pounded her thrusting in and out…in and out. Their love making was raw, rough, and what both of them needed. Their breathing was rapid and ragged. Sandy’s body gripped him tightly as if she was made especially for him. Her channel pulsed and clenched. He grabbed her thighs to bring them up to his hips. That allowed him to penetrate even deeper. She rocked her hips to meet his stroke for every glorious stroke.

Sandy wrapped around him so tightly Franklin thought he’d die from the pleasure. He kissed her hard and deep. Their kisses mimicked the wildness with which they made love. The bed rocked with such force that Sandy was afraid it might break.

She felt it…the building of her orgasm. She broke the kiss and whispered next to his ear “I don’t think I can last much longer.”

He pumped ever harder…deeper…deeper…harder.

She screamed his name, “Frankliiiiin!” before splintering into a million pieces. Franklin grunted and growled only to explode moments later.

Franklin closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers. It took a moment before their breathing returned to normal; before…they both realized what had happened between them.

What the hell was he doing? One minute Franklin was walking her to her door and the next they were in bed. He’d only planned to make sure she made it home safely but the need to be with her was overwhelming. Franklin could do casual sex but he didn’t use women. He wasn’t the type of man to be with someone knowing they had strong feelings when he wasn’t sure he could return them.

After another moment or two, he took another deep breath.

“Let me get you a warm wash cloth.”

Sandy felt the emptiness from both her body and soul the moment he left her to go to the bathroom. She pulled the covers up to cover her naked body and watched him in the darkness. It was obvious the way he held his shoulders, the way he walked, the way he bowed his head that he regretted what had just happened between them.

As he approached her when he came from the bathroom, Sandy was grateful for the darkness. She didn’t want to see the regret on his face and she didn’t want him to see the tears streaming down her face.

She sat up and reached out for the cloth, “Thank you.”

He sat down on the edge of the bed with his back turned to her, “I didn’t plan for this to happen when I asked to drive you home. I just wanted to make sure you made it here safely.”

Sandy sighed frustratingly, “People don’t accidentally screw.”

He winced at her words and turned around to face her, “That’s not what happened between you and me?”

“Wasn’t it? You know how I feel about you and you have no intentions of us being anything more than what we’ve already been.” Sandy angrily swiped at her tears, “So, what do you want me to say to make you feel better? You want me to say its okay for you to come here and be with me because you needed a release? Well, it’s…NOT…okay!”

“Sandy…I care about you and I’m not trying to hurt you! I’m doing my best to…”

She laughed, “You care about me…really? Is that why you’re seeing April? You just let her walk back into your life with no thought whatsoever how it would affect me. As a matter of fact, where is she tonight? Why didn’t you go to her instead of me?”

Silence. There was nothing Franklin could say to explain why he needed to be with her tonight…and not April. Sandy was pure passion. She didn’t understand that you can’t depend on that and that alone to sustain a relationship. At some point, it wouldn’t be enough and what would happen then? Would she want to leave him? Would she try to make him angry enough to hit her like his father beat his mother? No, he cared about her too much and wouldn’t risk it.

He reached for his discarded pants and put them on, “I should go.” He picked up the rest of his things as he walked towards her bedroom door. Franklin stopped for a moment before turning around, “I’m sorry I hurt you. You don’t deserve it...you deserve so much more.”

Sandy watched his retreating back as he walked further and further away. It wasn’t until she’d heard the front door close behind him that she realized the wounded small animal sound she heard was her own voice.

The lump in Jason’s throat felt like a boulder as he stood alone outside of Vicky’s hospital room. He sent everyone else home. He and Vicky needed this time all to themselves. He’d been pacing back and forth for more than fifteen minutes. With closed eyes and a bowed head, he pinched the space between his eyes and nose. Water continued to escape and slide down his face.

He had no idea what he was going to say to Vicky since she didn’t know about the baby yet. How do you tell your wife your child is gone when you can’t believe it yourself? He prayed God gave him the strength to tell her about their baby boy without losing it.

After taking a deep breath, Jason finally walked into the room. Vicky was sleeping and looked…peaceful. He sat down next to her and kissed her forehead.

He whispered mostly to himself “Baby, I’m so sorry. I should not have left you alone. I’m so so sorry.”

Jason reached for Vicky’s hand and held it tight all night long.

The next morning, Vicky woke up to find Jason sleeping in a chair next to her but slumped over so that his head was occupying a spot close to her stomach. Their hands were intertwined.

When Vicky went to move his hair back, she sucked in a deep breath because of a sharp pain in her abdomen.

The movement woke Jason up. He must have dozed off because he hadn’t slept much all night.

The memories of the night before came flooding back and Vicky started to panic.

“Jason. Jason, I can’t feel the baby moving inside of me. I can’t feel
anything
.”

Vicky could see in Jason’s blood shot eyes that something was devastatingly wrong. She prayed silently for god not to have taken her baby away.

He quickly stood up and cradled her in his arms “Shhh…be still you’ll hurt yourself.”

“I don’t care! Why can’t I feel anything? Please, call the doctor or nurse! I have to make sure my baby’s okay.”

“Honey please…” Jason’s voice gave out.

She took her head out his arms to look him in the eye. With tears streaming down her face she shook her head.

“No! Why aren’t you calling the doctor? I’ll call him myself.”

Vicky tried to reach for the help button but Jason managed to cover her hands with his before she could press it.

He could barely get the words out “There is no more baby, Vicky.”

“Don’t…don’t say that! Just call the doctor. They can fix this!”

Jason held her tighter. “Not this time. They can’t fix this…I can’t fix this. Our son fought hard but he didn’t make it.”

Vicky’s scream didn’t sound human. It was deep and guttural. Jason understood it because he felt the pain too. All he could do was just rock her back and forth as she let the pain flow from her body.

The flowers in the garden always seemed to give Vicky a small sense of peace. She sat in the middle of it on a swing surrounded by all the colorful blooms. Being out in the sunshine surrounded by such beauty sometimes worked to dull the ache in her heart. However, some days she wasn’t even sure how she managed to get out of bed.

It had been a little over a month since they’d lost her little boy, Jason Kincaid Rutherford, Jr. The loss had been hard on everybody, especially, Jason.

The emergency custody hearing had to be postponed because of it. It was rescheduled for the next three weeks. The prying eyes of strangers trying to pull back the curtain of her life during this time was just too much.

Vicky was lost in her thoughts so she didn’t hear Sandy when she approached and sat down next to her.

“I can’t get over how beautiful this garden is.”

“Mmm…yes it is. When did you get in?”

“My plane got in a couple of hours ago. But, I’ve been here for about an hour. Your mother in law and aunt were talking my ear off. You know they’re worried about you…and Jason.”

Vicky signed, “I know. I really appreciate their concern. But, it would be nice if Jason and I could have some time alone.”

“Silence can be a great gift. But, sometimes it can be too loud. We just want to make sure whatever you need we’re here for you. Where is he anyway?”

Vicky understood the concern but she still wished everyone didn’t look at her with such pity. “He flew out to CkR Int’l a couple of days ago.”

“He’s keeping himself busy?”

“Too busy; I’m not sure he’s giving himself any real time to grieve and if he’s not consulting with the lawyers about Angel then he’s working. And, the worst part is no one can understand the pain he feels like I do. I want to share it with him but he’s shutting me out.”

“How do you mean?”

“He’ll fly out to CkR at a moment’s notice. Whereas, before he’d try to work via conference calls or Skype. Now, he’s barely here. When he is home, he makes sure to be gone when I wake up in the morning or he waits until I’m asleep before he comes to bed at night. And, if I do get a chance to see him throughout the day it’s mostly him making sure I don’t need anything. He’s avoiding me. ”

“Come on Vicky don’t be ridiculous. He’s hurting too. Men grieve differently than we do. I mean why would he be avoiding you? He adores you.”

Vicky wiped away a single tear that managed to escape. “I think maybe…he blames me for losing the baby.”