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Authors: Andrew Peterson

North! Or Be Eaten

BOOK: North! Or Be Eaten
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Praise for
North! Or Be Eaten

“Peterson deserves every literary prize for this fine book. It is obvious that his musical talents have been put to good use as his use of words, plot, and narrative read like a well-scored film script. A very fine book, by a very fine writer and future talent. Amazing—thrilling and well worth reading again and again.”

—G. P. T
AYLOR
,
New York Times
best-selling author of
Shadowmancer
and The Dopple Ganger Chronicles

“Toothy cows are very dangerous. Andrew Peterson convinced me and shivers run down my spine at the very thought of meeting a toothy cow face to face. The author spills characters like Podo and Nurgabog onto the page, then weaves a tale of danger that holds the reader captive. Believe me, you will relish being held captive by this master storyteller. But be sure you don’t get caught by the Stranders. Those people just ain’t civilized.”

—D
ONITA
K. P
AUL
, author of
The Vanishing Sculptor

“In a genre overrun by the gory and the grim, Peterson’s bite-sized chapters taste more like a stew of Gorey (Edward) and Grimm (the Brothers).
North! Or Be Eaten
is a welcome feast of levity—and clearly a labor of love. Andrew Peterson has awakened my inner eight-year-old, and that is a very good thing.”

—J
EFFREY
O
VERSTREET
, author of
Auralia’s Colors
and
Cyndere’s Midnight

“An immensely clever tale from a wonderful storyteller—filled with great values and even greater adventure!”

—P
HIL
V
ISCHER
, creator of
VeggieTales

“Thrills, chills, spine-tingling mystery, and lots of smiles. It’s not easy to combine heart-pounding danger with gut-busting laughs and make it work, but Peterson pulls it off. For readers who want nonstop action infused with powerful, life-changing themes,
North! Or Be Eaten
is a must-read.”

—W
AYNE
T
HOMAS
B
ATSON
, best-selling author of The Door Within Trilogy
, Isle of Swords
, and
Isle of Fire

“Andrew Peterson is a gifted storyteller, scene painter, and wordsmith who takes you on a rollicking white-water ride of adventure. Readers of all ages are sure to find
North! Or Be Eaten
worthy of a big mug filled with a favorite beverage and a cozy nook near a crackling fire for hours on end. Here there be tales within yarns within stories. Listen, reader, bend your ear, but keep an eye peeled lest the dreaded Fangs of Dang be near!”

—R. K. M
ORTENSON
, author of
Landon Snow and the Auctor’s Riddle

For Aedan, Asher, and Skye.
Remember who you are
.

Contents

One •
The Lone Fendril

Two •
Room Eight of The Only Inn (Glipwood’s Only Inn)

Three •
Two Plans

Four •
Appropriate Words from Ubinious the Whooned

Five •
A Traitor in the Trees

Six •
The Gully Rim

Seven •
Monsters in the Hollow

Eight •
A Thorn of Contempt

Nine •
The Gargan Rockroach

Ten •
The Mighty River Blapp

Eleven •
The End of the Road

Twelve •
Thunder, Spray and Stone

Thirteen •
Miller’s Bridge

Fourteen •
The Last Tower

Fifteen •
A Song for Nugget the Brave

Sixteen •
The Jewels and the Dragons

Seventeen •
An Ally in Dugtown

Eighteen •
Old Wounds and New Healing

Nineteen •
Ouster Will and the First Books

Twenty •
In the Hall of Lamendron

Twenty-One •
Podo’s Nightmare

Twenty-Two •
The Stranders of the East Bend

Twenty-Three •
Growlfist the Strander King

Twenty-Four •
Quick Hands and Quicker Feet

Twenty-Five •
Tackleball in the Fog

Twenty-Six •
Along the River Road

Twenty-Seven •
A Bruise on the Back of the Land

Twenty-Eight •
O Anyara!

Twenty-Nine •
T.H.A.G.S. in the Strander Burrow

Thirty •
Sneem’s Last Words

Thirty-One •
In the Alley of the Roundish Widow

Thirty-Two •
Ronchy McHiggins Makes a Discovery

Thirty-Three •
The Sundering

Thirty-Four •
A Watcher in the Shadows

Thirty-Five •
The Hags and the Ragmen

Thirty-Six •
An Odious Arrangement

Thirty-Seven •
Into the Mouth of the Monster

Thirty-Eight •
Bright Eyes in a Dark Place

Thirty-Nine •
Esben Flavogle, the Factory Tool

Forty •
The Coffin

Forty-One •
Four Apples and a Plan

Forty-Two •
A Nefarious Bargain

Forty-Three •
Three Days in Darkness

Forty-Four •
Mountains and Shackles

Forty-Five •
The Fate of Sara Cobbler

Forty-Six •
The Strander Burrow

Forty-Seven •
A Change of Heart

Forty-Eight •
The Cages

Forty-Nine •
The Fortress of the Phoobs

Fifty •
The Witch’s Nose

Fifty-One •
The Song of the Ancient Stones

Fifty-Two •
The Bomnubble and the Lake of Gold

Fifty-Three •
A Grimace of Snickbuzzards

Fifty-Four •
The Ice Prairies

Fifty-Five •
The Surrender of Artham Wingfeather

Fifty-Six •
Two Kinds of Shame

Fifty-Seven •
Bumblebees and Old Bones

Fifty-Eight •
Gammons Bargain

Fifty-Nine •
The Transformation

Sixty •
Secrets in the Snow

Sixty-One •
The Battle of Kimera

Sixty-Two •
Ancient Anger

Sixty-Three •
Hulwen’s Trophy

Sixty-Four •
And the Sea Turned Red

Sixty-Five •
The Final Voyage of Podo Helmer

Appendices

1
The Lone Fendril

T
OOOOTHY COW
!” bellowed Podo as he whacked a stick against the nearest glipwood tree. The old pirate’s eyes blazed, and he stood at the base of the tree like a ship’s captain at the mast. “Toothy cow! Quick! Into the tree house!”

Not far away, an arrow whizzed through some hanging moss and thudded into a plank of wood decorated with a charcoal drawing of a snarling Fang. The arrow protruded from the Fang’s mouth, the shaft still vibrating from the impact. Tink lowered his bow, squinted to see if he had hit the target, and completely ignored his grandfather.


TOOOOOTHY
—oy! That’s a fine shot, lad—
COW
!”

Podo whacked the tree as Nia hurried up the rope ladder that led to the trapdoor in the floor of Peet the Sock Man’s tree house. A sock-covered hand reached down and pulled Nia up through the opening.

“Thank you, Artham,” she said, still holding his hand. She looked him in the eye and raised her chin, waiting for him to answer.

Peet the Sock Man, whose real name was Artham
P
. Wingfeather, looked back at her and gulped. One of his eyes twitched. He looked like he wanted to flee, as he always did when she called him by his first name, but Nia didn’t let go of his hand.

“Y-y-you’re welcome…
Nia
.” Every word was an effort, especially her name, but he sounded less crazy than he used to be. Only a week earlier, the mention of the name “Artham” sent him into a frenzy—he would scream, shimmy down the rope ladder, and disappear into the forest for hours.

Nia released his hand and peered down through the opening in the floor at her father, who still banged on the tree and bellowed about the impending onslaught of toothy cows.

“Come on, Tink!” Janner said.

A quiver of arrows rattled under one arm as he ran toward Leeli, who sat astride her dog, Nugget. Nugget, whose horselike size made him as dangerous as any toothy
cow in the forest, panted and wagged his tail. Tink reluctantly dropped his bow and followed, eying the forest for signs of toothy cows. The brothers helped a wide-eyed Leeli down from her dog, and the three of them rushed to the ladder.

“C
OWS
,
COWS
,
COWS
!” Podo howled.

Janner followed Tink and Leeli up the ladder. When they were all safely inside, Podo heaved himself through the opening and latched the trapdoor shut.

“Not bad,” Podo said, looking pleased with himself. “Janner, next time you’ll want to move yer brother and sister along a little faster. Had there been a real cow upon us, ye might not have had time to get ‘em to the ladder before them slobbery teeth started tearin’ yer tender flesh—”

“Papa,
really
,” Nia said.

“—and rippin’ it from yer bones,” he continued. “If Tink’s too stubborn to drop what he’s doin’, Janner, it falls to you to find a way to persuade him, you hear?”

Janner’s cheeks burned, and he fought the urge to defend himself. The toothy cow drills had been a daily occurrence since their arrival at Peet’s tree house, and the children had gradually stopped shrieking with panic whenever Podo’s hollers disturbed the otherwise quiet wood.

Since Janner had learned he was a Throne Warden, he had tried to take his responsibility to protect the king seriously. His mother’s stories about Peet’s dashing reputation as a Throne Warden in Anniera made Janner proud of the ancient tradition of which he was a part.
1
The trouble was that he was supposed to protect his younger brother, Tink, who happened to be the High King. It wasn’t that Janner was jealous; he had no wish to rule anything. But sometimes it felt odd that his skinny, reckless brother was, of all things, a king, much less the king of the fabled Shining Isle of Anniera.

BOOK: North! Or Be Eaten
9.92Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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