Love Lost and Found (4 page)

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of Travis’ basketball teammates. We got to talking and he invited me to his room. I

went because I was horny as hell and Travis and I hadn’t had sex in over a month.

Found out, he too was blessed with a big dick and I rode him for hours. When I

got home, Travis in bed fast asleep, and all I could do was crash. I was well fucked

and tired as hell.

Travis came home from work the following day and asked, “Have you been

to the barracks?”

I acted as if I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about.

“Several people came up to me and told me they saw my car parked at the

barracks last night and I know I wasn’t there,” he said.

I replied, “I don’t know you weren’t there. As a matter of fact, I don’t know

where you were before you came home and went to sleep, so you’re asking the

wrong person.”

Travis was mad. The thought of me going out and actually cashing in on my

threat of finding someone else was more than his brain could handle. I brushed it

off like it was nothing and went on about my business.

Two nights later, a couple of the girls I worked with decided they wanted to

go out and asked, “You want to go with?”

I didn’t have any plans and figured Travis would be off with one of his

‘
friends
,’ so I said, “What the hell?”

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When I got home from work, Travis was home, to my surprise. I walked in

said, “Hi,” and headed to the shower.

After I’d dressed and come into the living room, Travis asked, “Where are

you going?”

“Some of the girls from work asked me to go out with them. I said yes,” I

replied. “I didn’t figure you’d be home anyway and I’m tired of being in this house

by myself.”

“I don’t want you to go out,” Travis replied.

“Why?” I asked, my dumb ass thinking he wanted to spend time with me.

Yeah, right.

“Because I don’t think you’re going out with the girls. I think you’re going to

meet some guy,” he replied with a straight face.

“Well, you can believe what you want but I’m going.” I walked back into the

bedroom to finish getting my things together.

While I was in the bedroom, Travis decided I wasn’t and he was going to

make sure I didn’t. He went outside and disconnected the distributor cap on the

car then came back inside like nothing had happened.

I came back out the room and went out the door without another word. I

got in the car, put the key in the ignition and turned. Nothing. I popped the hood

and got out the car. When I saw what he’d done, I decided that was the final

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straw. If he was willing to go to these lengths, there was no telling what else he’d

be willing to do. I closed the hood and went back inside.

“I thought you were going out,” Travis said as I closed the door.

“Changed my mind,” I replied and went into the bedroom, closed and locked

the door.

He didn’t even try to come into the room that night, too busy patting

himself on the back for thwarting my plans.

The next morning he was beating on the door. He had to go to work and he

needed his uniform. I got out the bed, opened the door, then jumped back in the

bed and covered my head.

Travis headed to the closet to get his uniform and tripped over my suitcase.

“What is this?”

I threw the covers off my head, leaned up and looked in the direction his

voice came from. “A suitcase.” I returned to my previous position.

“You going somewhere?” Travis asked.

I didn’t even bother to move this time. “I think you can figure that one out

for yourself,” I replied, voice cold as ice.

“You can’t leave unless I give you permission. I’m your sponsor, remember?”

Travis said, humor lining his voice.

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I didn’t bother to reply. I knew what he’d said was true but I also knew a

way around it. I just had to wait until his Commanding Officer, the CO, was

available before I could call him.

Travis dressed and left for work.

Around nine o’clock, I got out of bed, showered and dressed. I made sure I

had everything I wanted to take with me, and then called his CO. I explained what

had happened the night before and told him I wanted out. The CO called Travis in

the office and had the MPs hold him there. His CO came and got me from our base

apartment, took me by the bank so I could get some money, and put me on a

military hop (military transport plane) out of there. Within six hours, I was back

in my hometown.

My parents’ phone had been ringing off the hook for almost three hours

when I walked in the door. “What the hell is going on?” my father asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and simply stated, “I left him for good.”

I refused to go into details and my parents knew me well enough to let it go

because I wasn’t going to tell until I was ready.

I started looking for a job and a place to stay. I refused to move back into my

parents’ house. After finding both, I began my life again. I got wild. I started

drinking slightly more than sociably and started partying all the time. I worked

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and went back to school to get a different trade because I didn’t like the one I was

currently in.

Travis didn’t have my phone number so he couldn’t contact me. I guess my

parents finally got tired of Travis calling them so my father gave him my phone

number. I answered the phone about six weeks after I’d moved back and guess

who it was. He informed me he was coming home on leave and he wanted to talk.

I went to a lawyer friend of mine and filed for divorce. The day he got home,

the sheriff knocked on his door and handed Travis his divorce papers. I wasn’t

trying to get anything from him so he didn’t contest it. He did however, playing on

my feelings for him, stop by my house the day before the hearing and fuck me silly.

I didn’t complain because I hadn’t been with anyone since I’d left him and was in

dire need of a stress reliever. When we went to the hearing, he made sure to bring

that up and I didn’t even try to deny it. I told the judge, lawyers, even Travis I was

still very much in love with him and figured I always would be but I couldn’t be

with him anymore. At that confession, Travis dropped his head but never made a

sound.

Divorce finalized, we went our separate ways not to see each other again for

over ten years.

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I moved away from my hometown, never staying in one place for more than

two years. I had no kids and had no trouble getting a job so I decided I wanted to

see as much of the world as I could before I took the time to settle down.

At age thirty-three, I found out I was pregnant and was devastated. I still

wasn’t ready to settle down but God knows best. I settled, in all places, where

Travis and I began our lives as a married couple. My son was born and his father

and I decided we would make a go of it. We’d been dating for little over six

months when I’d found out I was pregnant so it really wasn’t much of a change.

Things were rough, having to adjust to a baby, living with a man again—which

hadn’t happened since Travis—and having to stay in one place. I’d made up my

mind I wouldn’t roam, dragging a child behind me. My child deserved better than

that.

Anyhow, things were great until I received a call from my mom saying my

father was dying and she wanted, no needed, me to come home to help out. God

knows I didn’t want to go. I’d promised myself I would never live in my hometown

again but when God says go, you go. I’d found a place to stay and a new job. His

father decided he didn’t want to move with us. Our relationship really wasn’t

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doing all that great anyhow so I didn’t mind. My son was actually happy to be

around my family so I overlooked my own feelings and dealt with it.

My father actually held on for about a year. Once he’d passed and I’d made

sure my mom would be okay, I was ready to leave again. My mom knew it and was

holding on for dear life. I was home one day doing nothing in particular when my

mother called and asked me to come over. I didn’t want to because I knew she had

something she wanted me to do but went anyway.

I arrived and guess who was sitting in the living room? Travis Williams.

All those years gone and I still felt it. My mind began to swim and I was

swamped with feelings good and bad but, unfortunately for my heart, the good

won out hands down. I put on my poker face, still had that, and said, “Hello, Mr.

Williams.”

Travis’ eyebrow arched at my formality but he didn’t acknowledge it. He

said ‘Hi’ and we sat and talked for a while. My mother had set me up. She knew I

still had feelings for Travis and knew no matter how much I denied it, if given the

chance I’d be right back with him. She always did know more than I thought she

should.

We talked for a while longer and I got up to go outside. I shook so bad if I’d

had a glass of milk in my hand, it would be butter by now. He followed me outside.

Why?

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“Why are you acting so cold?” Travis asked, walking up behind me and

wrapping his arms around my waist.

I began to shake harder. Why did he have to come back? I’d finally put that

part of my life on the back burner. I had been through a number of relationships

that were doomed from the start because everyone I met I’d compared to Travis

and knew they wouldn’t measure up even before giving them a chance.

I know a lot of women would say I’d lost my damn mind. How could I still

love a man who cheated on me repeatedly?

Well, I’ll tell you. We were friends before we were lovers and
I wanted my

friend back!
I was now single, by choice, and Travis was about to throw my well

fought for control right out the window. The tighter he squeezed me, the louder

the window sliding open over my heart was in my ears.

I really hated him at that moment. He knew he could to get me and he knew

how to do it. I wanted to slap him and hug him at the same time. Why did this

man still have that effect over me after all these years? Again, we were friends

before we were lovers and I wanted my friend back.

I turned in his arms and just stared. He began to get a little nervous so he

removed his arms. I backed up, not trusting my voice at that moment, and turned

to head to my car.

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He caught my wrist before I’d taken three steps. “I fucked up, okay? I

thought there was something better for me out there and I had to see. It took

another failed marriage, and a hell of a lot of dealing with scandalous females for

me to realize I had what I was looking or all the while. Priscilla, look at me.

Please,” Travis begged.

I couldn’t. I knew if I did, I was lost. I had to be strong. Had to walk away. I

couldn’t go back but I knew I would because the friendship we’d once had was

worth more than gold.

Travis stood holding his breath, waiting. He never let go of my wrist and I

could feel his palms begin to sweat.

I knew I had to make a decision.
‘What’s it gonna be, Priscilla?
’ I asked myself.

Take another chance with the man you have always, and will always, love, or walk

away to loneliness?

Was there really a choice?

I sighed deeply and slowly turned. Travis had a look of apprehension on his

face that said everything I was feeling.

“I can’t promise you everything, but I can promise to try,” I said.

“That’s all I can ask for, Priscilla,” Travis said as he drew me in his arms and

kissed me.

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That was a year ago. Travis and I managed to find the love and friendship

we’d once had and bring it back into our lives. We’d both grown enough to know

what we wanted and through a lot of talking, we found we went through similar

situations when we split. I am more in love with him now than I ever was before

and for the first time in our long history, neither of us fear the unknown.