Love Me for Me (4 page)

My breath caught in my throat when he handed it back to me and I saw that he'd programmed his name and number into it.

"Thanks for the dance, Serena." His lips grazed my cheek, and then he gently tucked the stray strands of my hair behind my ears. My legs actually trembled as he smiled at me, that heart stopping, panty dropping smile that could have had any girl in the room doing exactly that. "Next time we dance, we're going to be alone."

And then he left, disappearing into the crowd, leaving me gaping after him. Wide eyed, I pressed my fingers to the place where his lips had brushed over my cheek, then turned to search the crowd for Kaylee. She was draped over Joel, her ex-boyfriend, but she mouthed
holy fuck
, fanning her face.

Holy fuck, indeed.

***

I studied the entry in my cell for almost an hour before I went to bed that night, giddiness warring with reservation. I was relieved when Kaylee texted to tell me that she wouldn't be home until morning, because I knew that she would want details that I wasn't ready to give.

My sleep was fitful, haunted with images of red cups, seductive heat, and the suffocating scent of lavender. I woke with a headache, no doubt from the half cup of vodka syrup masquerading as punch that I'd drunk before Alex had warned me off of it.

I looked at my phone again as soon as I woke, to make sure that it was real. The entry was still there, the number displayed under the name Alex Blackthorn.

He'd given me his number. That meant he wanted me to call.

I was only twenty, but I felt far older than that. I definitely felt too old to play games.

Before I could chicken out, I called.

"Hello?" A jolt of adrenaline shot through me. I hadn't thought he would actually answer.

I cleared my throat, but my voice still sounded rusty.

"Um. This is... this is Serena. King. Serena King. From the... from American Lit." I almost said from the party, but somehow the night before didn't seem quite real, despite the fact that his information was in my phone. I certainly hadn't acted like myself, and I wondered if he would still be interested now, in the light of day.

"I'm glad you called." The words could have been smarmy, and would have been coming from anyone else. But here, with whatever this was between us, I heard the simple honesty behind them.

"Yes. I..." My voice trailed off. I hadn't thought this through before calling. I didn't know what to say. Hey, that dance last night was pretty sexy? But then he might get the wrong idea.

I remembered the feel of his hands on my back, and thought that maybe it was the right idea after all.

"I want to see you tonight." My eyebrows rose in surprise. Apparently he didn’t want to play games either.

“That would be nice.” I said, and there it was again, that inexplicable connection between us, pulling tight even through the phone.

He cleared his throat. “Well, I should probably have said this first. I
want
to see you tonight, but I have plans.”

I was irritated. If he didn’t want to see me, he could just say so. He didn’t have to make up any elaborate excuses.

I opened my mouth to tell him so, but he cut me off.

“Are you allergic to any animals?” His question caught me completely off guard.

“Uh... no. Not that I know of.”

“Would you like to come with me, then?” He sounded hopeful, and I was sure that I’d missed a step.

“Come with you where, exactly?” My tone sounded far more abrupt than I meant it to, and I cringed. The last few years of my life had been spent trying to deter attention from the opposite sex, not attract it, and the habit was hard to break.

He laughed, somewhat sheepishly. “Oh, sorry. Got ahead of myself. I work at an animal shelter not too far from campus. Tonight I’m scheduled for playtime.”

“Playtime?” Why did that sound so deliciously naughty?

“Animal playtime.” I was certain he knew where my mind had strayed. “There’s a fenced in dog run in the back of the shelter. Basically we take that night’s group out and play fetch far way longer than either of us want to.”

On my end of the call, I shut my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temple. He was the first guy I’d been attracted to in years... and he liked puppies.

I was a goner.

“If you don’t want to go get slobbered on, that’s totally cool.” He sounded sincere, and I could detect none of the macho coolness that so many guys used when they were feeling rejected or defensive. “It’s not everyone’s cup of tea.”

“I love dogs.” The words escaped my mouth before I could even think them through fully. “This sounds great. I mean, if you really want me to go with you.”

“Oh, I want you.” My fingers tightened on the cell. There was no mistaking the double entendre in his voice.

“G-good.” To my surprise, the space between my legs throbbed. This guy had me tied up in knots, and we hadn’t even kissed yet.

“I’ll have to meet you there. I’m sorry, but I have a lab that runs late.” He gave me the directions, and I couldn’t help the zings of excitement.

This was a date. Sort of. I thought.

I hadn’t ever been on a date, not a real one.

“I’ll see you at eight, then. Wear old clothes.” As we arranged the details, I could almost convince myself that we weren’t anything but friends, that I’d misread everything.

That is, until he said goodbye.

“I’ll see you tonight, Serena.” His voice was husky. “I’m looking forward to it. A lot.”

Oh, and so was I.

Chapter Three

Connecticut No-Kill was a fairly new animal shelter three blocks from campus. I’d walked by it several times, but had never gone in, even though I loved animals.

If I went in, I’d fall in love with every four legged creature who batted big eyes at me. Dorms didn’t allow pets—not like Kaylee would allow one anywhere near her shoes—and as for back home...

I cut that thought right off. Home wasn’t home anymore. I didn’t have any place that I could take an animal home
to
.

I could see Alex through the door when I arrived. It was locked, as he’d told me it would be—it was past office hours. But the fluorescent lights were all on, and he didn’t see me at first, so I took a moment to just look at him before I rang the buzzer.

He stood beside a length of counter, feet planted hip width apart but relaxed. In his hand was a clipboard that he seemed to be studying.

Thinking himself alone, he seemed less... intense... than he had any other time I’d seen him. I didn’t think he tried to turn on that high voltage charm, but it was there nonetheless, whenever he was around people—it was something that seemed to seep out of his very skin. Even alone and still, however, he was the hottest guy I’d ever seen.

He was dressed casually, in worn jeans and a hooded sweatshirt that bore the logo of the Vikings, our football team. His tattoos were covered by the long sleeves of his shirt, but just knowing they were there made my mouth water.

Why me
, I wanted to ask?
What do you see in me that's so special, because I'm not sure that I see it myself
. If I had still been back in high school, I would have known what he wanted, and I would have given it to him, both to temporarily ease the emptiness inside of me, and to scream so that someone, anyone would see me, see my pain.

But if sex was all that he wanted from me, he would have made a move already. He would have propositioned me when we were at Daily Grind, or he would have made his intentions known last night, at the party. Hell, last night I might have said yes, even if deep down I knew that I wasn't ready.

He wouldn't have given me his number, and he wouldn't have asked to spend time with me. I knew this with certainty.

So why were we here? The words were on the tip of my tongue to ask, but pure pride stopped me.

Frustrated with myself, I stopped ogling him and pressed my hand to the buzzer. His head snapped up immediately, looking at the door, like he’d been waiting.

That made me ridiculously happy, but I managed—I think—to tone the sappy grin down to a shy smile by time he’d loped across the floor and opened the locked door for me.

“Hey.” He smiled and held the glass door open for me. I left the chilly outside air for a room that was warm, humid, and smelled distinctly of wet dog.

“Yeah, it’s kind of smelly.” Alex laughed as he let the door swing shut behind me. He didn’t try to hide the fact that he looked me up and down, and I was extra glad that I’d borrowed another cardigan from Kaylee, though I was going to have to make sure that I washed the dogginess out before returning it.

“No. It’s fine.” He gestured towards a door that I assumed led out of the office area. It was hard to focus on the animal smell at all when Alex was walking ahead of me. His hoodie rode up a bit when he bent to unlock the door, and I was treated to a glimpse of smooth skin stretched tightly over taut back muscle.

Holy mother
.

I licked my lips and tried to get my traitorous hormones under control as I followed him through the door and down a hallway, from which other short hallways branched off. Each short passage had several rooms, all varying shapes and sizes, with glass front doors.

Even though the doors were all shut, the chorus of barks and yips was deafening.

Alex turned and shouted something at me over his shoulder. I grimaced, even as I tried not to be distracted by his mouth as he spoke.

“Sorry, what?” I yelled and pressed my hands to my ears, hoping it would muffle the din. He shook his head and grinned, then led me into the small room he’d stopped in front of.

I heaved a sigh of relief as the door shut behind us. The sounds from outside the room were still discernible, but the door blocked a lot.

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that—” My words broke off into a startled yelp when two giant, furry creatures launched themselves at me. I staggered under the weight, received a doggy scented tongue bath on my hands, and finally lost my balance.

“Fuck!” I flailed as the two big dogs knocked me right off my feet.

“Macey! Cuda! Down!” Alex caught me before I could hit the ground, his arms wrapping around my waist and hauling me back, out of range of the two dogs who did as they were told, planting their butts on the ground and wagging nervously.

“Shit, Serena. Are you okay?” He set me back onto my feet, and I sagged back against him for a second, wheezing. The wind had been knocked right out of me.

My hands settled on my stomach... right on top of his, which were holding me tightly. My breath made a sudden appearance and caught tightly in my throat as I registered the fact that his arms were wrapped snugly around my waist, my back pressed to his chest. I looked down, hiding beneath the tangle of blonde hair that had fallen free during the doggie rodeo, and noted that those forearms of his were solid and corded with muscle.

They were lickable. I had a hard time catching my breath again, but it had nothing to do with being knocked over.

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Clearing my throat, I pushed forward, extricating myself from Alex’s arms. I didn’t really want to, but I didn’t know what else to do.

“You sure you’re okay?” His voice was gruff, and I knew that I wasn’t the only one affected by the touch. I brushed the hair out of my eyes and snuck a peek up at him.

“More than.” My voice was breathy, and I mentally cringed. Could I be any more obvious?

His eyes swept over me in that unnerving way that he had, lingering for a fraction of a second on my breasts. I looked down and saw that my tank had been pulled further down than normal, and I flushed as I nonchalantly tried to pull it back into place.

“Still want to play with these hooligans?” The dogs thumped their tales as Alex cast them a stern look. I couldn’t repress a giggle as he tried to suppress a grin and couldn’t quite manage it.

“Wow. They’re clearly terrified of you.” Though my heart was still thumping from the feel of his arms around me, I squatted down in front of the dogs. One was stocky and solid, dark brown with white markings. The other looked a bit like pictures I’d seen of dogs that pulled sleds in Alaska, with brilliant blue eyes.

“The husky mix is a male named Cuda. The one built like a tank is Macey.” Macey rolled her eyes my way and assumed a mournful demeanor before delicately licking my cheek. “She’s my special girl.”

Macey thumped her tail as Alex spoke then, clearly unable to hold herself back any longer, leapt on him. I watched with surprise and delight as the big, bad Alex Blackthorn hunkered down to give the dog a firm butt rub.

I bit my lip and wondered if it was horrible that I kinda wished I was in the dog’s place.

“Well, who’d have thought?” I spoke a bit more loudly than I needed to, hoping to mask the flip flopping of my heart in my chest. Alex looked up from Macey for a second to cast me a halfway goofy grin.

“What’s that?” He reached into his hoodie pocket, then withdrew two dog biscuits. He offered them to Macey and Cuda as he stood, brushing his hands off on his jeans.

“Alex Blackthorn, the boy with the tattoos who always comes to class late, is a total softie.” My heart thumped as I teased him, but somehow I knew that with him, I could. I could be playful and wouldn’t be punished in any way.

Even when his eyes darkened, and my pulse skittered in my veins, I felt safe. Nervous, overly warm, and edgy, but safe.

“A softie?” His voice was playfully mocking as he stepped towards me, the whisper of a smile on the corners of his lips. I swallowed as he came close enough that I could feel his breath misting across the top of my head. I lifted my head, looked up wide eyed, and frantically wondered how it was that I, the girl who had never been aroused, was feeling wet and achey before he’d even touched me.

He dipped his head, and I ran my tongue over my lips. This was it, I thought. He’s going to kiss me. His lips came closer... closer...

“When it comes to these big dopey dogs, you’re absolutely right.” The words were warm against my ear. I snapped my head back, stepping back involuntarily with the movement, to find him smirking at me as I panted. Damn it, he
knew
exactly what he was doing to me.