Love Me If You Dare (Safe Haven) (12 page)

“Oh,
God.” My gut clenched in sympathy. No wonder he’d been so strange. No wonder he
hadn’t gotten in touch.

“A
burning tree collapsed on him.” Dylan’s voice was quiet. “It’s scary as hell,
because it could have been any one of us, you know? He followed all the
procedure. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

I
didn’t say anything. Sometimes there wasn’t anything to say.

“And
it brought back some shitty memories. You know?” Half turning, his gaze sought
mine. “I came here because I wanted to see you. Because, you know. You get it.”

I
closed my eyes and cringed.

“And
I jumped all over you the second you came in.” I turned to face him, pressing
my lips together until they hurt. “I’m sorry.”

“I
wouldn’t mind if you jumped all over me now.” He gave me a wry half smile. He
was joking, I knew, just trying to lighten the tension in the room.

But
I thought of the way he’d moved straight for me when he entered the room, the
way he’d pulled me into his arms, urgency evident in every line of his body.

He’d
been turning to me for comfort. Somewhere, in the recesses of my memory, Ella’s
voice echoed.

Dylan
doesn’t lean on anyone, ever. Drives me nuts.

He
was here now. I could let him lean on me.

“Dylan.”
Hesitantly, I laid my hand flat on his cheek. His stare darted to mine, wary
and hot at the same time.

Tilting
my head up, I moved until my lips just barely grazed his own.

I
heard his harsh intake of breath, sensed rather than felt his body tense.

I
pulled back, looked down at where he was watching me with something akin to
awe. In that moment I felt powerful in a way I never had before.

It
only took the smallest movement of my head to bring my lips down on his again.
He held perfectly still as I slid my mouth over his.

I
wanted him to move, to kiss me back. Wanted him to forget about what was
weighing on his mind.

Keeping
my lips on his, I slid my hands between our bodies, inching my fingers down the
hardness of his chest.

His
breath stuttered against my lips as I gathered the hem of his T-shirt. He was
tensed like an arrow in a quiver, and I knew he was holding back.

Waiting
for me to make sure I knew what I was doing.

Holding
my breath, I eased out of the kiss, then pulled his shirt up. When I got it up
to shoulders his hands intercepted my own, tugging the shirt the rest of the
way up and over his head.

“Wow.”
I breathed out on a half laugh as I placed my hands on Dylan’s shoulders,
tracing the hard lines that I had seen but not had much chance to touch.

“Kaylee.”
Dylan’s voice was a strangled plea as my hands slid between his pectoral
muscles, then down to dance over the flat planes of his abdomen.

I
didn’t respond with words, instead communicating with my questing fingers,
which never stopped moving. I slid them over his stomach, back up his sides,
then down again to his hips.

My
eyes on his, I slowly, slowly slid a finger beneath the waistband of his jeans.
His eyes went dark, the color of a forest, and a surge of need rolled over me
in a slow wave.

I
gasped when, his moves slow but so sure that I was taken by surprise, he took
me by the waist and lowered me to the bed.

“I
want to lose myself in you.” His voice was tight with need. “Will you let me be
in control?”

My
heart stuttered in my chest. I knew what he was asking.

I’d
had sex before. I liked sex, and I wasn’t ashamed to enjoy it.

But
Dylan was... different. It meant more, with him.

I
didn’t know if I was ready for it.

My
body tensed under Dylan’s hard, poised frame. I opened my mouth to tell him
that I wasn’t ready to go all the way.

“I
won’t do more than you want me to.” His biceps flexed as he braced himself
above me.

I
wanted
to do everything. But this was a situation in which past Kaylee
was going to have to be the boss.

I
nuzzled my face into the space between his neck and shoulder, inhaling the
smell of him, trying to burn the scent into my mind.

Then
his lips were on mine again, consuming, devouring. I gave myself over to
sensation as his lips travelled over my cheeks, my jaw, my neck, my shoulder.

His
lips were dry and warm, leaving sparks in their wake.

When
his hand slipped up to cover my breast over my bra, I moaned and arched into
the touch. When he pulled the cup of my bra down so that the plump mound was
naked to his eyes, to his touch, I couldn’t stop the shivers that skated over
my skin.

“You
taste so good. So sweet.” He murmured into my hair. His fingers caught the
elastic that held my hair back, loosening the curls so that he could comb his
fingers through it.

I
began to pant when he rolled his fingers over my nipple. I writhed beneath him,
wanting something, anything.

I’d
never felt like this before. Never been so consumed with need.

He
could have done anything he wanted, and I would probably have been happy about
it.

“I
need—” I rocked my hips up against his. I could feel the evidence of what he
wanted, pressing into the softness of my belly.

“Let
me.” Bracing himself on one arm, Dylan moved his hand from my breast. He danced
his fingers over my ribs, my stomach, then lower.

“Okay?”
He watched me intently as, slowly, he moved his fingers to the heated space
between my legs.

“Yes.
But... just there.” I nodded, a frantic noise escaping my mouth.

“I
heard you the first time.” Slowly, paying incredible attention, he rubbed his
fingers over the denim of my jeans. The sensation was drugging, and my head
fell back in surrender.

“Yes.”
Dylan’s voice was hoarse as he watched me from beneath heavy lids. “Yes. I want
you to let go.”

I
shuddered, my pulse kicking into high gear. My breath caught as the sensations
washed over me.

I
cried out, arching against his taut frame. And all I could see as I fell over
the edge were those eyes, green ringed with hazel.

Eyes
that saw nothing but me.

***

I
was a bit embarrassed by the depth of my reaction. Turning to the side, I tried
to look away, to gather my thoughts.

Slowly,
Dylan lowered himself down beside me. He caught my chin so that I couldn’t look
away.

“Thank
you,” he said, the words scratchy. I felt like I should chuckle, should make
some quip about how I should be thanking him.

I
didn’t want to lessen the meaning of his words. He’d let me give him something,
and I was humbled.

“Let
me...” My eyes on his, I reached for the button at the waist of his jeans. His
skin was tacky with perspiration, and my fingers caught and pulled.

He
closed his eyes, let me run my fingers beneath his waistband. Then, with a
great groan, he clasped me around the wrist and pulled my hand away.

“This
is perfect. Just like this.” He ran a hand down my arm, leaving chill bumps in
the wake of his touch.

The
way he looked at me—I loved it. And it scared the hell out of me. I felt naked,
exposed.

I
was closer to him in that moment than I’d ever been to anyone in my life... and
that included my twin.

It
didn’t sit well. No matter how beautiful what we had just shared was, panic
made its presence known. Like sugar left too long in the pan, it changed from
smooth caramel to scattered, hard grains, skittering over my skin.

I
felt closer to him than I ever had to Ella. Ella, the person I’d shared a
freaking
womb
with.

What
kind of a person did that make me? And at the same time, how could I just run,
just bolt, after what he’d told me about his week?

Tentatively,
I ran my hand over the solid stretch of his bicep. His tattoo peeked out from
between my spread fingers, and somehow the design emphasized the flaws in my
ruined nail polish.

“Jax
is having a party tonight.” I kept my tone light. “We should go.”

“He’ll
have another party, another day. Tomorrow, if we ask him to.” Dylan’s voice was
lazy, content. He adjusted us so that I was cradled in the crook of his elbow.

“Isn’t
Nick coming home? With his girlfriend?” I insisted. I tried to keep my body
from stiffening, but knew that Dylan had noticed my unease. “Shouldn’t you go?”
I almost said ‘we’, but it sounded too much like we were a couple.

“I’d
rather stay here, with you, honestly. It’s been a long week away.” Propping
himself up on his elbow, he looked down at me. I squirmed and tried not to look
away.

“Kaylee,
what’s up?” He suddenly sounded concerned. “Shit, I’m sorry. I went too far.
Fuck.”

“No!”
I sat bolt upright. I couldn’t let him think that. “No. I loved... what we just
did. Really.” I managed a tense smile.

“Then
what’s going on? Why are you so intent on getting out of here?”

Because
if I stay here I’ll fall in love with you!
I wanted to scream at him. Instead I shrugged, pulling my sister’s nonchalance
around me like a cloak.

“You
know. I just can’t resist a good party.”

“Don’t.”
Dylan spoke sharply, irritation making his features sharp.

“Don’t
what?” I tried to appear innocent, but my heart sank. He’d seen right through
me.

Why
was I even doing this?

“Don’t
try to be like Ella.” Something dark coated his words. That darkness poked at
my anger.

Damn
it, I was sick of people trying to tell me who and what I should be. Sure, it
was weird that, for all intents and purposes, I’d once let my dead sister
swallow my own personality. But I’d done what I had to do to survive, to keep
on plodding along.

And
I wasn’t unhappy with the traits that had lingered. I was me, I was Kaylee. And
no one was going to tell me anything different.

“Isn’t
that what you want?” I finally snapped. “Ella was the one you always wanted. I
don’t even know why you asked me out that night. It would have been better for
everyone if you hadn’t.”

I
hadn’t realized until that moment just how mad I was at him. I’d given in and
eaten the forbidden fruit, sure.

But
he was the serpent in the garden who’d provided it.

I
expected him to be angry, to yell, to leave. Instead a strange look crossed
over his face. He huffed out a breath, raking his fingers through hair that was
messed from my fingers.

“Is
that really what you think?” His voice seemed extra quiet, since I’d expected
him to yell.

I
hesitated; I’d always been so sure about this very thing, but right now, with
that look on his face, I suddenly wasn’t so sure.

“It’s
true, isn’t it?” I asked. Awkwardly I adjusted my bra, then sat back on my
heels. “I mean... you never really paid me any attention. Not until the end.
And then it was too late.”

Dylan
was silent for a long moment. Absentmindedly, he reached out and traced a
finger over a tear in the knee of my jeans.

“I
never wanted Ella that way. Never.”

I
furrowed my brow. He sounded like he was telling the truth, but...

God,
they’d been so close. They’d done everything together. I’d always assumed that
that had expanded to some kind of romance.

“The
only reason I started hanging out with her in the first place was to get close
to you.” His voice was wry, quiet, but the words were powerful enough to have
my jaw dropping.

“No
way.” I didn’t buy it. “The two of you were more like twins than she and I
were. You did everything together. You were perfect for one another.”

“No.”
Dylan shook his head to emphasize his point. “Don’t get me wrong; I was happy
to find a friend in Ella. And I loved her, the way you love a friend.”

My
breath caught in my throat. Oh God, I wanted to hear these words so badly. It
seemed like I’d been waiting forever.

“But
Ella and I were way too much alike to ever have worked that way. She knew it,
and I knew it.” He smiled, one side of his mouth curling up higher than the
other. “I did kiss her once.”

Jealousy
was a whip landing a blow on my belly. I must have looked stricken, because he
hastened to continue.

“I
did it because I didn’t think I was ever going to have you. This, uh, this
sounds kind of sick. But... you guys looked a lot alike. And Ella and I got
along well enough. One night after a few beers I gave it a shot.”

“And?”
If he told me that they’d slept together, I was going to be sick.

“And
it was hard to kiss when neither of us could stop laughing.” He grinned, and
relief washed over me.

I
wouldn’t begrudge him the memory.

“You
said you were friends with Ella because of me.” I whispered. I almost felt like
my twin was looking over my shoulder, listening to our conversation. “Why?”

The
look Dylan cast my way was incredulous.

“You
don’t give yourself enough credit.” The finger rubbing over my knee lifted to
trace over my cheekbone.

“You
represented everything I wanted to be.”

My
lips parted with disbelief.

“Dylan,
I’m...” I trailed off, not sure how to phrase the thoughts that were tumbling
through my mind.

What
he had just said had floored me. And he was looking at me with such raw
openness in his eyes...

I
had to make him understand.

“Dylan,
I’m not that girl anymore.” I said carefully, and a shadow darkened his face. I
felt my stomach roll over with nausea. “I... I can’t change back, just for
you.”

The
shadows from his face dissipated, leaving it carefully blank. I closed my eyes
and pressed my hands to my temples as he sat up and reached for his T-shirt.

“I’ve
never asked you to be anything other than who you are. You, Kaylee, here and
now.” He cast me a measured look as he stood.