Love Me If You Dare (Safe Haven) (16 page)

I
stood by the waters of Fish Lake, in the town I’d once sworn never to return
to. My sister was on my mind. It was time for me to finally say goodbye.

Ella
had drowned in four inches of water, weighed down by drugs and the gray shadows
of depression. It was enough to make a person fear a lake, but this body of
water reminded me of my childhood.

It
reminded me of the way Ella had once been. As I watched the sun set over the
lake, I forgot about her sickness, her troubles, and just remembered the girl
who had once been my other half.

My
twin.

Thanks
to this summer, I had come to terms with the fact that a part of her would
never be completely gone. She would live on in me, in my mom, in the minds of
everyone whose life she’d ever touched.

She
would live on in Dylan, the man who had dared to love me against all odds.

And
I was finally free, free of the guilt, the shame, the need to prove myself.

I
was free to be me. Life was short, but mine stretched out before me, a blank
slate just waiting to be written on.

And
I couldn’t wait.

Jax
Kennedy isn’t interested in girls.

Kayla
Connor isn’t just some girl, though—she’s his best friend Nick’s girlfriend.
That means hands off, even if she’d been his type.

But
there’s a little something between Kayla and Jax—and Nick knows it. When he
asks Jax to be part of a wild experiment involving all three of them, Jax knows
he should say no.

But
what do you do when the guy you’ve secretly loved forever and the only woman to
ever catch your eye both want you?

Well.
That’s complicated.

This is a work of
fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events

are entirely
coincidental.

––––––––

LOVE ME FOR ME

Copyright © 2013 Kate
Laurens.

Written by Kate Laurens.

F
rom the corner of my eye I saw Kaylee waving at me frantically. I
frowned, not sure what she was trying to communicate with her flailing arms,
eye winks, and wide grin.

Then I felt the heat behind me, and I suddenly knew.

“Hey.”  The voice was low, and I felt the warmth of it against
my ear. I thought that I would tense, but I knew it was him before I turned,
having played that voice over and over in my head for the last week.

“American Lit Girl.” He smiled at me, that delicious wide smile
on that chiselled face, and I felt something fluttery begin to move in the
depths of my belly.

“I have a name, you know.” I lifted my cup for another small
sip, though I didn’t actually want it. “Not that you asked for it.”

I flushed as soon as I’d spoken, wondering how on earth I’d
gotten so bold. But he laughed, then pried the cup out of my fingers.

“I didn’t ask, Serena, because I already know it.” He leaned in
to say this, close to my ear so that he could be heard without shouting.

A tremor ran through me.

“Why do you know my name?” Why had he even noticed me? No one
noticed me, not anymore.

He arched his eyebrows at me. “I paid attention. Should I be
hurt that you haven’t asked for mine?” I must have looked stricken, because he
caught my hand in his and squeezed.

“I’m Alex.” He didn’t let go of my fingers, and I was acutely
aware of the heat pulsing from his into mine.

“Um. Hi.” I wanted to smack myself. I was so socially inept.
Kaylee had gotten all the charm in our dorm room.

"You don't want to drink that. Trust me." He took the
cup from my hand and set it on a nearby table. He had to lean in close for me
to hear him, and when he did I smelled shaving foam, soap, and the faintest
hint of cologne.

"Maybe I wanted it." The flash of irritation I felt was
burned away in a blast of heat when his eyes strayed to my breasts, outlined in
the fitted tank top. He did it so quickly that I almost missed it... and rather
than being offended I felt myself responding, licking my suddenly dry lips.

The feeling I'd had when we'd studied at Daily Grind... I was
right. He was attracted to me.

There was no question that I felt the same way.

"That's almost pure booze. You drink that entire cup and you
won't even remember your own name." His stare was so intense that my mouth
went dry. I ran my tongue over my lips to moisten it, and his eyes followed the
gesture.

"It doesn't taste like booze. It tastes like sugar." The
artificial sweetness still coated my tongue.

"It's vodka with an insane amount of juice crystals. It's
mixed with the specific purpose of getting girls drunk." He raised an
eyebrow at me. "You didn't think it was that strong, did you? This frat
has it down to a science."

"Oh." I should have been more concerned about the fact
that I'd been sips away from losing control, but when he looked at me like
that, I couldn't think.

"Dance?" Startled by the request, I looked quickly over
at Kaylee. She was giving me a very unsubtle thumbs up, and with only that to
bolster my courage, I nodded before I could over think it.

Lacing his fingers through mine, he led me through the crush of
people dancing to a song that seemed to be an ode to the plastic cups that
everyone was drinking from.

He smiled at me when we found a space and he turned to face me. He
kept his hold on my hand, but his other came to rest gently on the indentation
of my waist. I had to swallow my gasp at the light press on my skin.

I'd been touched plenty, but never like this.

When he pressed those fingers into the dip of my waist a bit more
firmly, I realized that I'd been standing still. I looked up at him wide eyed,
feeling like a fish out of water.

The intensity in those navy eyes of his was my undoing. Squeezing
my eyes shut, I let him lead me in a gentle sway as the upbeat song faded into
something slower, with lyrics about loving someone until they learned to love
themselves.

My pulse began to trip, pounding at the base of my throat, at my
wrists.

Though his hands stayed on me, he didn't move any closer, didn't
try to grind his pelvis into my own like so many of the others were doing. The
fact that he didn't was more seductive than if he had. I soon forgot about
trying to imitate the way the others danced, and moved the way he led me to. I
was painfully aware of the thin ribbon of space between us, of the fact that
one deep breath would bring the tips of my breasts against the solid muscles of
his chest.

Not sure what to do with my free hand, I moved it into that sliver
of room between us, splaying my fingers over his chest. He tensed beneath my
fingers, and I looked up to find his eyes heavily lidded, his lips slightly
parted.

What was going on with me? Something about this boy made me feel
things I’d never thought I’d want.

The look told me that he wanted to kiss me. It told me that he wanted
to do more. I felt the space between my legs dampened. For the first time in years,
I wanted the same thing, wanted it for the right reasons.

I worried my lower lip with my teeth, and his eyes followed the
movement. Swallowing hard, I tilted my chin up and angled my head, leaving
myself open for a kiss that I found I desperately wanted.

It didn't come. Warily, I looked through my lashes. His expression
matched how I felt, tight with inexplicable need. But though he released my
fingers to splay his hand over my spine, and my free hand landed on his hard,
wide shoulder, he didn't make a move to press his lips to mine.

The hand on my back began to move, slowly, lazily, tracing the
angel wings of my shoulder blades, the curve of my spine. Everywhere his fingers
trailed, I blazed with heat. Something hot and needy was coiling deep in my
belly, something I'd never felt before and that I didn't know what to do with.

As the last notes of the song played, his pelvis grazed mine, and
I shuddered when I felt his unmistakeable erection, the evidence that his body
was feeling exactly the same way that I was.

"Do you have your cell on you?" He asked. I was still
waiting for his hands to move to the familiar places, to touch me in the way
that boys did when they wanted that one, specific thing. Because I was waiting,
it took a moment for me to comprehend his words. He chuckled as I scrambled in
the tight pocket of my jeans for my phone and handed it to him, my head tipped
questioningly.

My breath caught in my throat when he handed it back to me and I
saw that he'd programmed his name and number into it.

"Thanks for the dance, Serena." His lips grazed my
cheek, and then he gently tucked the stray strands of my hair behind my ears.
My legs actually trembled as he smiled at me, that heart stopping, panty
dropping smile that could have had any girl in the room doing exactly that.
"Next time we dance, we're going to be alone."

And then he left, disappearing into the crowd, leaving me gaping
after him. Wide eyed, I pressed my fingers to the place where his lips had
brushed over my cheek, then turned to search the crowd for Kaylee. She was
draped over Joel, her ex-boyfriend, but she mouthed
holy fuck
, fanning
her face.

Holy fuck, indeed.

This is a work of
fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events

are entirely
coincidental.

––––––––

WHITE TRASH BEAUTIFUL

Copyright © 2013 Mara
Ryder.

Written by Mara Ryder.

“P
ack
your shit, baby girl. We’re moving!” Serenity slammed the flimsy door closed
and rattled the whole trailer.

I
fumbled blindly for the clock in the windowsill, my eyes still half-closed. I’d
worked a late shift at the diner and studied for my chemistry test before
passing out on the ratty couch. When my blurry vision cleared, I saw it’d only
been an hour.
Jesus.

“Go
to bed, Serenity. I paid the rent this month. We don’t have to sneak out in the
middle of the night again. I flopped on my back, my arm over my face.

“No,
honey. We’re never gonna have to sneak out again. And you can quit that shitass
job at the diner. We’re moving to Scarlett Briar.” Serenity parked herself on
my legs and lit a cigarette. She took a hard drag before looking at me again,
waiting patiently for my reaction.

Scarlett
Briar was the kind of place they double-checked the silver spoon up your ass
before they let you think about driving through the gates. Senators had
vacation homes there. Actors. Sports stars. Not poor white trash from Sunny
Oaks Trailer Court.

I
peeked out from under my arm. Serenity looked bad—tired. Too long on the pole
and too much powder up her nose. When I was a little girl, I thought she was
the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen and I wanted to be just like her. These
last years hadn’t been kind to my mother, but she hadn’t been kind to herself.
She was stuck on this dream of some rich Prince Charming who was going to come
charging in on a white Lexus and take her away from all this. Her eyeliner and
mascara smudged into dark circles around her eyes, her face was too thin, her
nose bulbous from her drinking and snorting. Skin pockmarked—she looked a lot
older than her thirty-three years.

“Another
boyfriend making promises he’s not going to keep?” She was notoriously bad for
buying into these guys and their pipe dreams. The rich ones were the worst
because they were usually married. Scumbags looking to slum it with some girl
who was better at sucking cock than his wife because she knew what it was like
to go hungry.

I
guess that’s not a very nice thing to say about my mom, but it wasn’t very nice
growing up with the reality of it either.

Her
tight lips thinned, the painted red slash of lipstick almost invisible. “He’s
gonna marry me, Cherie.”

She
said my name like
sure-ee
, but everyone called me Cherry. Another perk
of being Serenity Boddinger’s daughter.  I sat up and sighed. “Really, Mama?”

“Yeah,
really.” She smiled again. “You don’t even really have to pack. Just grab
whatever you can’t live without. He’s coming in an hour with a truck and movers.
This is for real.” She squeezed my calf, excitement lighting her tired eyes.
“He’s been asking me for a long time and tonight, I said yes.”

Alarm
bells screeched so loud in my ears it was deafening. I couldn’t count the
number of asshole perverts she’d let move in with us, how many nights I’d snuck
out to sleep in the woods, or at a friend’s when these guys got handsy. Now she
was putting us under a strange man’s control in a world where we knew no one
and had no escape. At least here at the trailer court, there was Jamie next
door. He made me feel safe. I supposed I was just as bad as my mom if I needed
a man to feel safe. I should learn how to make myself feel safe.

And
that didn’t include moving to Scarlett Briar. What the hell was she thinking? I
answered my own question. Obviously, she thought her prince charming had
arrived. My stomach churned and the greasy burger I’d downed before closing up
the diner rebelled.

“I
gotta take a walk.” I scrambled away from her and stuffed my feet into my
secondhand Doc Martens.

“Don’t
fuck this up for me, Cherie.”

“Yeah,
whatever.” Because it was always all about her.

“I
mean it. Be back in a half hour,” she screeched at me.

The
door slammed behind me and I took deep gulps of breath. The sun had barely
crested the horizon and I stumbled toward the pond, wondering just what I was
going to do.

“You
okay?” Jamie grumbled from the deck of his trailer.

His
voice was a welcome sound. “Not so much, no.”

“Come
on over here and tell me all about it. I got a cup o’ joe with your name on it,
kid.”

I
walked over to his trailer and sat down on the rusted lawn chair. He thrust his
coffee my way and I accepted it gratefully, happy to have something to hold. It
was warm and real, the sharp scent anchored me in the moment. It was soothing
somehow. Just like his presence. He was the older brother I’d never had.

Mom
and I’d been living at Sunny Oaks since I’d turned sixteen. It was the longest
we’d ever stayed in once place, mostly because I got that job at the diner and
I paid the rent. Sometimes, I had to shower at Jamie’s because I couldn’t
afford water and food too on my tips, but he was cool with it. He’d started
looking out for us from day one. I think Serenity reminded him of his mom, but
not in a good way.

“Another
guy?” Jamie asked.

I
sighed. “How’d you know?”

He
flashed a crooked grin. “Nothin’ else gets you this worked up, girl.”

“Yes,
I guess not. It just pisses me off,” I growled. “She came home this morning and
told me ‘pack my shit’ because we’re moving. To Scarlet Briar of all places.”

Jamie
raised a brow and stepped inside to grab himself a cup of coffee. He took a
long, healthy swig and set the cup down. I found myself focusing on his
hands—how strong they were. The blunt digits were permanently stained with grease,
but I didn’t find it gross. It was comforting. They were working man’s hands.
Why couldn’t Serenity have fallen for a man like him? He was kind. He worked
hard. And he wasn’t too bad to look at either. Sometimes he took construction
jobs on the side and his body showed it. He was tanned, well-muscled,
hard-jawed... but no. Serenity had to have the white Lexus, no matter what was
attached to it.

“Scarlett
Briar, huh? You sure this guy’s gonna show?” He looked skeptical.

“No.
I’m kind of torn. Part of me wants him to show up and I want to be able to tell
her I told you so when it all goes to shit and another part of me just wants to
stay here in the trailer where I know I have a roof over my head and what I
have to do to keep it there.”

Disgust
bloomed on his face. “Cherry, you don’t ever have to do anything to keep a roof
over your head except call me, okay? No matter where you are, or what’s going
on, you can always call me. Got it?”

“I
couldn’t—”

“You
can and you will.” He looked at me pointedly.

This
was why he made me feel safe. I remembered the night Serenity’s latest john
came to the trailer looking for her, knowing she was at work. I didn’t want him
to wait inside, but he didn’t listen. He forced his way through the door and
hit me, pushed me down—Jamie heard me scream. I’d never seen so much blood come
out of a person’s face as I did that night. The guy had a white Beamer and his
nose sprayed blood all over his pristine interior when Jamie dumped him inside
it after beating him until he couldn’t raise his fist. Of course Serenity
blamed me for screwing up her steady thing.

“Yeah,
okay.” I agreed, but focused on my cup and took another drink of the coffee. It
was strong and black, coarse and hard, but it fortified me.

“Everything’s
gonna be okay. You’ll see. You’ll be eighteen in two months. Then you can go
anywhere and do anything and she can’t hold you back or stop you.”

Yeah,
eighteen. If I asked Jamie to come get me before the magic number, I wouldn’t
put it past Serenity to call the cops and accuse him of statutory rape. She was
that kind of bitch. Two months, though. I could suck it up for two more months,
couldn’t I?

I
exhaled, the bitter coffee still burning my tongue. “Thanks, Jamie. I don’t
know what I’d do without you.”

“You’re
gonna go bigger places than me, Cherry Pie. Don’t ever doubt it. You know what,
this guy might be for real. If he is, accept the life you’re offered. Don’t
turn it down because of some fucked up idea about being like your mom.” He
scowled. “Unless he tries to get in your pants. Then kick him in the dick. But
you know what I mean.”

I
laughed. He knew me so well. And I didn’t even mind that he called me cherry
pie. It was never dripping with innuendo like when the guys at school did it.
I’d already planned to pay my own way for everything, that way this guy,
whoever he was couldn’t say I owed him anything.

“Cherie,”
Serenity howled out the door.

“I
should go.”

He
nodded, but I didn’t want to say goodbye. I wondered briefly what it would be
like if I just went inside his trailer and refused to come out. I could stay
with him, finish school, save for college. I wouldn’t be the stripper’s
daughter anymore. I had no illusions that if her dream guy was real that my
life would change for the better. She’d still be a coked up stripper and I’d
still be her daughter and we’d both still be poor white trash no matter what
kind of paint you slopped on us.

Jamie
stood. “Yeah, you really should go.” He said it like he was trying to sell me a
vacation. “Give it a shot. You can always come back if it doesn’t work out.
There’s more to the world than this trailer court.” He swept me up in a hug.

I
inhaled the scent of him, committing it to memory. Tide, a splash of Old Spice
and just a tang of metal and grease from the work he did. It was familiar and
steady, just like him.

“Stop
hangin’ on that man like a slut vine and move your ass,” she hollered.

He
released me and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Go on, now. Don’t forget to
check in with old Jamie every now and again.”

“God,
you’re what, twenty-seven? You’re not old.”

“Old
in the soul, Cherry girl. Old in the soul.” He nodded.

“Me
too.” I smiled. “Thanks for the coffee. And... everything.” I didn’t really know
how to say everything I wanted to, but he seemed to know. Or maybe that’s just
what I wanted to think.

“Cherie!”
she shrieked again.

“Christ
almighty, I’m coming!” I hollered back. I hugged him hard again and jogged back
to the trailer.

I
suddenly had this feeling that nothing would ever be the same again. It was
stupid, but almost like my childhood was over. That shit was over before it
started. Nothing in my life had been permanent, and it wasn’t like I thought
this place would be. I couldn’t explain it, but it scared the hell out of me.

“Cherie,
you can do better than Jamie Blandin,” Serenity snarled around a half-smoked
Marlboro. “Especially now that we’re moving up in the world.”

“It’s
not like that. Just because you can’t have a platonic relationship doesn’t mean
I can’t.”

“Ooh,
aren’t you fancy, using your big words like I can’t understand ‘em.” She mashed
the cigarette out in the ashtray. “You think I don’t know what he wants from
you? Nobody does anything for free. He’s a man, he thinks with this dick.”

“He’s
never touched me.”

“Only
because he knows I’d slap his ass in jail so fast it’d make his head spin. Mark
my words, Cherie. As soon as you turn eighteen, he’d have you on your back.”

“Whatever.
What am I supposed to pack?” I wanted to get her off the subject because I
didn’t want him to hear her talking about him that way if he was still outside
and I was done talking about it.

Serenity
smiled, appeased. “Only things you can’t do without. Drew’s going to take us
both shopping later. It’ll be just like
Pretty Woman
.”

Great.
Saleswomen who thought they were better than us who’d be paid to kiss our asses
and shove us into clothes I’d be afraid to wear because they cost more than I
made in a year. That didn’t sound like a good time, but I put on a smile
anyway. When she got like this, it was best to just agree. Any time there was a
new guy in the picture, it was all about him, what our lives would be like.
None of it ever came to fruition. None of these guys ever left their wives, or
ever followed through on the nice penthouse accommodations...

Then
I saw it.

A
brand new white Lexus GS turning down the gravel road. A moving truck bouncing
along behind it.

My
mouth dropped open, but I quickly snapped it shut.

“Come
meet him, and don’t be shitty.” Serenity ran her fingers through her hair and swiped
under her eyes to clear the smudges.

“Not
helping.” I grabbed a baby wipe from the container and helped clean her up. For
the first time, I felt a twinge of hope. Like maybe this would be about more
than cleaning up just her makeup. Maybe she’d clean herself up. Maybe she was
right about this one. I pushed the hope down deep where I couldn’t taste it
like cotton candy on my tongue. “There, much better.”

“I
told you he was really coming.” She smiled and the light in her eyes changed
her, it illuminated her face and for one second, she was the most beautiful
woman in the world again. Serenity leapt out the door and launched herself into
the man’s arms when he exited the car.

I
opened the door tentatively and was met with a genuine smile. He had dimples.
He looked like a matured version of a Dolce & Gabbana model. Very handsome,
dark hair, wings of gray at his temples. Perfect teeth. They were so white and
straight, I was sure they glowed in the dark.

And
they made me hyper aware of my own. Not straight. Not white. Decidedly
un
perfect.

He
wore a t-shirt and jeans with deck shoes. Relaxed and casual, but still a
yuppie. Not that it was a horrible thing. I wasn’t going to judge him just
because he had money. Not when my mother was smiling, he was smiling, and I
didn’t even get a whiff of scumbag from him. Of course, that made me wonder
just what he was hiding, but I could bide my time.