Love, Nina (11 page)

MK was also given a camellia by a bloke (with roots). Fake-looking pink flowers. Half expected the other shrubs to attack it for being blousy.

MK: How's the camellia doing?

Me: Unhappy.

MK: What causes unhappiness in a camellia?

Me: Fluctuations.

MK: In?

Me: Temperature, light.

MK: Fuck, we're supposed to stop the sun from going down.

Love, Nina

*  *  *

Dear Vic,

Having a break from Shakespeare. Reading
One Hundred Years of Solitude
by G. García Márquez. I wish it was on the syllabus, it's marvelous. You'd love it, I'm sure.

When I've finished, I'll go on to
Romeo and Juliet
—I know the basic plot already. Will reminded me—it's like
West Side Story
. Not that Will knows
West Side Story
as such, but MK does, and has mentioned in passing that
West Side Story
is based (loosely) on
R&J.

Daren't say (to MK or Nunney) how much I don't like Shakespeare. Don't find it funny or exciting. It might have been funny etc. years ago, before modern comedies, but now it's weak and
A Winter's Tale
doesn't even seem like a comedy. The poor little son dies of a broken heart and the baby daughter is left in the woods to die and the wife spends sixteen years as a statue. Also, another bloke gets killed by a bear and it's all because of this king being jealous. Maybe Shakespeare is saying that jealousy is bad, but it's not very funny.

It's like Chaucer. People always going on about how rude and funny it is because someone farts.

Sam is rehearsing for his school play. School doesn't usually encourage him to take part (which makes MK furious) but this term Sam's fought his corner and got a speaking part. We're all very excited and proud.

He has to shout, “Boudicca, Boudicca, Queen of the Iceni,” a few times rhythmically and run with a spear.

We're disagreeing over the pronunciation.

Will says it's Bo-a-da-see-er. And I agree.

Sam insists it's Boo-dicca (because that's how Miss Whatnot says it).

AB says there's always been debate on the subject.

MK says Sam must know, and gives Will, me and AB a shut-up look.

Have taken photos of Sam in his costume. Will send when developed.

Pippa has given S&W some sunflower seeds (to plant, so that they could grow sunflowers). Now she keeps asking how they're doing. Have decided to say that we planted them, they grew a bit, then they got eaten by slugs. Just to shut her up.

Glad holiday was good. Josie H. sounds like a marvel. Write a longer letter telling me everything.

Love, Nina

*  *  *

Dear Vic,

Have applied to two polytechnics in London. Thames Polytechnic and North London Polytechnic.

Also, Mary-Kay asked one of her mates—at the University College (UCL)—to interview me.

I went to see Professor Ettrick yesterday. I won't be going to University College! I couldn't understand what he was saying. Either he was using words I don't know, or mumbling. Plus he had a foreign accent. I wanted to say something outstanding to make up for my lack of education, but it turned out to be impossible. He was wearing a fez.

One of the polytechnics will be fine anyway. UCL was aiming a bit high, bearing everything in mind. But it's where Jez goes, so that would have been funny. Though he's in science and I'd have been in English.

Nunney and I are going great with the syllabus (still on
Romeo & Juliet
). Nunney enjoys the punning and humor in
R&J
and keeps saying how clever it is (in context) and now he's reading
The Elizabethan World Picture
by E. M. W. Tillyard, because it gives a picture of the Elizabethan world so that you can really get what Shakespeare was saying.

I might not bother with it.

Love, Nina

*  *  *

Dear Vic,

Some new people have moved into the crescent and put lace curtains up at the windows (where there used to be Venetian blinds). A kind of half-curtain. They're the talk of the Crescent. Everyone keeps saying, “What about those curtains!”

Mary Hope says they're Jardiniere—very popular in Portugal—she knows about fabrics (worldwide). They're not curtains as such, more of a window dressing. More like underwear than curtains.

Even Claire Tomalin, who usually wouldn't bother mentioning things like that, said, “What bizarre curtains!” Jez thinks they're very “Mike Leigh.” Neve thinks they're outrageous. Will says they're poncy. Mary-Kay says it's up to them what they have at the windows but thinks they're a bit pointless. I hate them. Sam thinks we're all being horrible.

Went to Delancey for breakfast with Mary-Kay and S&W and AB. AB and MK and Will were lingering and Sam and I got bored and left before them. Sam waved at the window as we went past. MK did this funny wave (whole hand up salute).

Later, I asked her about it. “What was that wave you did in Delancey?”

“Oh, yes, I thought it was rather good—it's a new one, I got it from Betsy.”

I told her we prefer the elbow on the table finger wiggle.

Me: I find the whole waving thing embarrassing.

MK: But surely waving is less embarrassing than
not
waving, if someone's waved at you.

Me: That's with hindsight.

Sam: You could nod.

Will: Nodding's risky—it has meanings.

Me: God, what meanings?

Will: Funny stuff.

Me: How do you know?

Will: My friend has an uncle who nods for “it.”

Me: Whose uncle is this?

Sam: I bet it's the one with the Ink Spot swimming pool, it's always him.

Nunney has told me it's rude of me to not say goodbye at the end of my phone calls (with him). I don't know if it is.

I told him it's unnecessary and implied. Sound like MK.

Love, Nina

*  *  *

Dear Vic,

Will got 89% for a science test (The Water Cycle—an annotated illustration).

Will: My picture was OK, but I dropped a percent for drawing a smiley face on my sun.

Me: What's wrong with a smiley face on the sun?

Will: It's not scientific.

Sam: What's a water cycle?

Me: An underwater bike.

MK: Don't tell him that.

Sam: It's not scientific.

Amanda phoned to see if S&W wanted to go round and watch the film
Ring of Bright Water
at the Evans's house. Sam's not keen on that kind of film (sad ending). He likes comedy/action. Will likes all types of film (except romance), but not keen on the Evans's little dog.

Sam: Will I like film?

Me: Yes, but it's a bit sad.

Sam: Does someone die?

Me: Not exactly.

Sam: An animal?

Me: Well, yes.

Sam: A dog?

Me: No.

Sam: A cat?

Me: No.

Sam: A gerbil?

Me: No, it begins with O.

Sam: Ostrich?

Me: No.

Sam: Give in.

Me: An otter.

Sam: Notter begins with N.

Claustrophobic in their telly room with curtains drawn and the dog and the feeling of not being able to move about. So we came home.

MK: What happened to the movie?

Sam: The otter died at the end.

MK: That was quick.

Sam: Nina told us the ending.

MK: (
to me
) Remind me not to go to the movies with you.

Later, at bedtime. Will has read
My Side of the Mountain
and thinks it's great. I offered to read it to Sam.

Sam: Is it any good?

Me: I think so—Will liked it.

Sam: What happens?

Me: This ten-year-old boy is fed up with urban life in New York and goes to live in a hollowed-out tree in the Catskill Mountains.

Sam: Then what?

Me: He just lives there with his pet wild bird, eating berries and making tea.

Sam: Then what?

Me: Well, I'll read it to you, and you'll hear.

Sam: I want it over and done with tonight if possible.

Love, Nina

*  *  *

Dear Vic,

Granny (Wilmers) came over. She came down into the kitchen very slowly, holding the banister (low high-heels/suspicious of wooden steps). Sam impatient at the bottom of stairs, tapping and tutting, said, “Come
on
,” under his breath.

Sam gave her a brief hug when she arrived at the bottom step and went back to the snooker. Will hugged her and lifted her up (little feet dangling off the floor like in a cartoon).

I laughed. Will laughed. MK smiled. Granny shrieked.

“Ooo, Villiom, put me down!” (c. Russian).

Sam: What's so funny?

Me: Will lifted Granny up.

Sam: Why's that funny?

Me: It's funny when people lift people up.

Granny W: Perhaps it's funny…
once.

Sam says he's decided to take up the violin (again) and MK had to write a note to the school's music teacher.

MK: What am I to say in this note?

Sam: Just that it's OK.

MK: What's OK?

Sam: Me doing the violin.

MK: Well, why wouldn't it be?

Sam: If you didn't want to pay the fees.

MK: Oh, what's the violin teacher's name?

Sam: Mr. Violin.

MK: Mr.
Violin?
Are you kidding?

Sam: Not violin,
Niolin,
Mr. Niolin (
tutting
).

MK: What—it rhymes?

Will: Just write Dear Sir.

Found out later his name is Mr. Nyman.

Love, Nina

PS Window cleaner is out of prison. Came and did the windows. Later, MK and me discussed whether we should get window locks.

*  *  *

Dear Vic,

Will wanted to know the difference between Priceless and Worthless.

MK: Worthless—has no worth. Priceless—has no price.

AB: (
reading from dictionary
) Worthless—without practical value or merit. Priceless—of inestimable worth, beyond value.

Then AB started reading the dictionary and calling out odd words. Then Will got it off him and he started reading out odd words and laughing. It seemed annoying, but then I had a go and could see the appeal. I love the dictionary now—you should try it (if you're bored).

Sam was invited to supper at the Tomalins'—his first ever (official, evening) meal there. Told him that Claire had rung to ask him to bring a potato with him. Will and me thought it was hilarious when Sam set off with a potato in one hand and his football cards in the other.

Later:

Me: What did Claire say about the potato?

Sam: She thinks you're confused.

One of MK's friends brought a load of plums round in a Fine Fare bag, thinking—wrongly—we'd like to make some jam.

Me: Are you going to make the jam?

MK: I thought you might.

Me: I've never made jam.

MK: There's a first time for everything.

Me: I'm not inclined.

MK: Perhaps you could send Sam round to 57 (the Tomalins') with them.

Her way of telling me she knows about the potato trick on Sam.

Thanks for the roast beef recipe. Not sure if I'm up to it (meat in one piece like that).

Keep up the good work with Mr. T.

Love, Nina

*  *  *

Dear Vic,

Will and me reading
Diary of Adrian Mole
.

Inspired to write our own diaries. AB says everyone should (write a diary) but not to bother with issues, i.e. the news, just the day-to-day stuff (that's what will interest you in years to come).

Helen came to stay, so had to go to Camden Market. A busker playing the didgeridoo drowned out poor blind man who always sings “You Fill Up My Senses” quietly in a less good spot (acoustically).

Helen bought a second-hand eggcup in the shape of a hen and a sachet of MSG from the herb man. She's hankering after strong flavors now she's turned to vegetarianism.

Me: Look what Helen got.

MK: Not sure MSG is good for you.

HH: I find food very bland—I've become a veggie again.

MK: Why?

HH: Health reasons.

MK: I'm not sure MSG is good for you.

HH: I know, but it adds flavor.

The roast beef was OK. Fifteen mins wasn't enough and had to put it back in. V. bloody. MK said I should have had the oven hotter. It was OK. Will quite liked it. Sam put it straight into his meat hiding place and Helen had a bean-burger she'd brought with her in tinfoil.

Thank God AB wasn't around to witness. It turns out that his dad is/was a butcher in Leeds, hence him (AB) being a bit of a know-it-all cookingwise.

Mary Hope has
The Delia Smith Cooking Guide
and likes the no-nonsense approach. They're all going mad for the pâté (kipper?).

From Granny (Stibbe) I got six dishes (Susie Cooper), pretty but shallow. And a set of egg coddlers.

Made some coddled eggs with S&W. Will liked the procedure (season before cooking and the twisty tops) but I can't see what's so good about them. How are they any better than ordinary boiled eggs?

Designed for wimps (scared of shell).

Love, Nina

*  *  *

Dear Vic,

Weave-perm at Flickers on Camden Road (Jade's solution to wispy hair). It turned out badly. Had it cut very short straightaway the same day—different hairdresser shop—so as not to offend Jade. Jade's real name—Sally.

Nunney says I look like David O'Leary (Arsenal) in my new hair (short, a bit bouffant).

Me: Nunney says I look like David O'Leary.

Will: Yeah.

Sam: Why d'you want to look like him?

Me: I don't
want
to.

MK: She didn't go to Flickers and ask for a David O'Leary.