Love on a Dirt Road (The Roughneck Series Book 1) (12 page)

  I let him kiss me for a second before I broke away from him and started to nibble on his neck. I kissed my way down his chest and traced my tongue around that delicious tattoo on his side. I continued to kiss down the trail of hair from his belly button below the seam of his boxers. I grabbed his underwear and pulled them down as I looked up at him. The look on his face made me need to squeeze my legs together. He was staring at me with hooded eyes and this time he was biting his bottom lip.
Holy Shit, that was sexy.
I ran my tongue from the bottom of his cock to the tip as I stared into his eyes.

  "Fuck baby, so sexy" He hissed through his teeth.

  I wanted to please him. I wanted to do this for him. But the truth was it was turning me on just as much. I could do this all night. And that was my intention.

Chapter 13

  The next day we pulled up to my house for Christmas Dinner. I had been staring at my ring the whole ride over.

  "I'm glad you like it" Jase said and kissed me on the head.

  "I love it"

  "Good, because that's some scary shit trying to pick out the perfect ring"

  "Well you did good baby" I said as we sat in the driveway. I saw both Joe and Moon's trucks in driveway.

  We walked to the door and both stopped to listen. There was laughing inside. That was a good sign. When I opened the front door Sam looked my way and jumped off the couch.

  "Let me see! Let me see!" She squealed and grabbed my hand.

  "You knew?" I asked.
Sneaky little witch!

  "Of course I knew!" She exclaimed as she held my hand up "How do you think it fit so perfect? It's beautiful! You did good buddy" She said and gave Jase a nod.

  The room was filled with Congratulations and introductions.

  "So this is the one huh Lainey?" Joe asked.

  "It is." I beamed. "Joe, this is Jase"

  "You take care of that girl" Joe told Jase as he shook his hand.

  "Yes sir" Jase said with a little nod and then squeezed my waist.

  Joe introduced us to Vickie. She was petite with long brown hair. And she kept staring at Joe with total admiration.

  "She's cute" I whispered to Joe.

  "I think I'll keep her" Joe whispered back with a wink. I was happy for him. He deserved someone who would be good to him. Sam was friendly to her, which was a little surprising. Until Sam looked at me and told me she approved. She didn't speak, it was a conversation we had with our eyes. Silent conversations come with the territory when you've been best friends for 15 years. Moon and Joe seemed to be getting along too. Moon was on his best behavior, I didn't hear the F bomb out of his mouth one time. That was a first. Sam, on the other hand, had no filter. But I think it might have worried Joe if she did.

January

Another hitch came and went, Jase was back in my arms where he belonged. The wedding plans were coming along and so was the house. We had so much fun picking color schemes and a floor plan. Well, I had fun anyway, Jase mainly agreed. The wedding date was set for the end of March. It was going to be an intimate outdoor ceremony. I didn't want anything extravagant.  That just wasn't us. We wanted simple. It was about us starting our lives together, not putting on a show.

  It was Saturday afternoon and we had just finished lunch. I loved Saturdays when Jase was home. No schedule to keep, just spending time together. It was the best. I was picking up the kitchen and Jase ran out to grab his muddy boots from his truck bed before the rain started. As soon as the front door shut I heard his phone ring. It was sitting on the bar. I walked over to it.

  "Jay" scrolled across the screen. Without thinking, I picked it up. That's not entirely true actually. I had been thinking about it for weeks. I wanted to fix this. I wanted Jase to have his dad back. I would never have mine, but knowing Jase could was the next best thing. So I answered.

  "Hello" I said quietly.

  "Uhhh..." There was a pause. "Um… I'm looking for Jason. Is this the right number?"
Jason. That's why he never went by his full name.

  The man sounded surprised and worried at the same time.

  "Um, yeah, this is Jase' number." I said

  Jase walked back into the house and looked at me.

  "Who is that?" He mouthed.

  "It's Jay" I whispered. "Hold on one second" I said into the phone.

  Jase took the phone out of my hand, ended the call and threw the phone on the couch. He stared at me for a second, his jaw was flinching. He was pissed. Then he walked out the front door and slammed it. I followed right after him.

  "Jase wait" I said as I walked behind him.

  He didn't stop walking until he got to his truck. But he didn't turn around, he kept his back to me.

  "You need to talk to him Jase, at least once." Jase spun around and met my eyes.

  "No Lainey, I don't" He said in a stern voice.

  "Maybe he's different" I said.

  "Damn it Lainey!" He screamed. "I don't care! I've told you over and over again that I don't want a fucking thing to do with him. Why would you answer the phone?"

  "I was just trying to help" I said trying to keep my voice even.

  "I don't want your help!" He yelled. He had never been this angry with me before. It worried me, but I wasn't giving up.

  "Jase, at least he's still here!" My voice was getting louder. My emotions were getting the best of me. "You still have a chance to maybe have a relationship with him, that's more than I'll ever get. You should at least try!"

  "It's not the same! You don't understand!" He said as he ran his hands through his hair. They were shaking. I didn't want this conversation to go this way.

  "Jase please" I said and walked over to him and started to put my arms around him.

  "Go home Lainey" Jase said as he backed up.

  "What?" I whispered, my voice shaking.

  "I said go home" He said calmly and walked back to the house.

  I stood there, in shock and watched him walked through the front door without even looking back. I walked over to my car and got in. My entire body was shaking. I grabbed the keys out of my floor board and started my car. I tried to keep my tears at bay until I pulled out of the driveway but it didn't work. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Moon standing on his front porch. But I didn't look back. I couldn't.  As I drove down that dirt road, my mind was racing out of control. I had never seen Jase look at me that way. He had never turned his back on me. I stared at my ring as I gripped the steering wheel. Were we over? Did I go too far? I only wanted to help. All of my questions were spinning in my mind.  I felt the nausea hit me and I pulled the car over before it was too late. I emptied the contents in my stomach and fell to my knees. I cried uncontrollably. I couldn't get up. I couldn't move at all. The rain started to fall but I just stayed there. Broken. I don't know how long I sat there, crouched down, in the freezing rain. But my body was numb. The only thing I could feel was my heart breaking. Shattering. Please God don't let it be over.

  I heard a car coming closer through the sound of the rain. But I didn't look up.

  "Lainey!" I heard in the distance. I didn't respond.

  "Lainey." It was Sam coming towards me. "Lainey? Are you ok?" She asked and stooped down beside me. I couldn't speak. I just looked over at her. I couldn't see clearly, my eyes were stinging from my tears.

  "Come on" She said as she put her arm around my waist and lifted me to my feet. "Let's get you to the car" My feet were moving. I don't know how, but they were. She opened the passenger side door of her car and guided me inside. She closed the door and ran over to the driver’s side. She closed the door behind her.

  "Son of a bitch! It's freezing" She said through her chattering teeth.

  "Lainey? Are you hurt?" She asked. I just shook my head. I was shaking.

  "What happened?" She asked.

  "I think it's over" It was the only thing I was thinking, it was the only thing I could say.

  "You have to tell me what's going on. What happened?" Sam asked again.

  I couldn't explain it yet. I didn't have the strength. It was too hard to put into words.

  "How did you find me?" I asked.

  "Moon called me. He heard y'all arguing and saw you leave. He told me to watch for you because you seemed pretty upset. I timed the drive, you didn't show, so I came to find you." Sam would always be there for me. Even if she was the only one. I broke down again and sobbed the whole way home.

  Once I got home, I changed into dry clothes and climbed into bed. I wanted to call Jase. But I couldn't. He sent me away. He didn't even look back. I felt like   throwing up again.

  "You ok?" Sam asked as she peeked her head in the door.

  "Yeah" I whispered.

  "Do you want to talk about it?"

  "Later ok." I pleaded.

  "Ok" She said and shut the door. I didn't want to shut her out but I couldn't talk about it. Not yet. I didn't want to start crying again. I fucking hated to cry. And I knew I would. I grabbed my phone out of my other pants and stared at his picture. I stared until my eyes became heavy and I drifted off to sleep.

  "Momma!" I screamed. "Momma!"

  I was running through a field. My legs were so tired. They were so heavy. But I   tried to keep running. I needed to find her.

  "Lainey" I heard a whisper in the distance.

  "Mom!!" I kept screaming for her. I scanned my eyes in all different directions trying to find where her voice was coming from. I couldn't find her. My heart was pounding. I couldn't catch my breath. My legs were getting heavier with every step. And then I fell to my knees.

  "Where are you?" I cried as I stared down at the ground.

  "Lainey" I heard her quiet voice again. I looked up.  A headstone was sitting directly in front of me. I couldn't look at it, so I squeezed my eyes shut.

  "No momma" I cried. "Please, no. I need you mom. I need you here."

  The wind started to blow and I opened my eyes. The headstone was gone.

  "I'm always here. Daddy and I are always with you baby. We love you so much honey" I heard in the distance.  Then raindrops started falling.

  "We're always with you." She repeated as the rain started to pour.

  My eyes fluttered open. My face felt stiff, from dried tears and my pillow was soaked. The dream replayed in my mind. Every time I dreamt of my parents, I always woke up in a panic. But I wasn't shaking this time. I wasn't hyperventilating. I was just sad. I missed them. But I was thankful for this dream.

  There was a quiet knock at my door.

  "Come in" I said.

  "Hey" Sam said quietly and laid down on the bed beside me. "You ready to talk? I've been sitting out there waiting for 3 hours, you're killing me smalls" She elbowed me and I couldn't help but give her a sad little smile.

  Jase.
My dream distracted me from the pain for a few minutes. God, I couldn't do this. I needed to talk to him. I needed him to see my reasoning.

  "Lainey?" Sam said.

  I gave Sam the short version of Jay. I didn't want to go into too much detail. I didn't want to betray Jase by sharing too much. Even though I was pretty convinced he felt betrayed anyway.

  "So when he called I just answered. I wanted to help. Was I wrong?" I asked Sam.

  "Well I mean I see where you're coming from. And I don't know Jase real well, but he seems pretty even keeled. I mean if he got pissed about you answering then he's not ready to face it. Honey, you can't make him deal with something he's not ready to deal with."

  I started to tear up again. Damn it!

  "I know Sam. But I just want to help. I mean, I'm going to be his wife." And then I looked down at my ring "Or I was. God! I can't deal with this. I don't want to lose him. I can't. He was so mad though, he wouldn't even look at me."

  "Don't jump the gun girl. Just give him time. I'm sure he will call or something. I tried to get Moon to go over there and see what was going on but he didn't want to get in the middle of it. Fucker."

  "I don't know Sam. You didn't see his face" I said trying to fight back the tears.

  "Look, you're not going to lay in this bed all night. I'm gonna start dinner and you're going to get up, go wash your face and come into the living room."

  Sam stood and walked toward the door.

  "Up" She said when she saw I wasn't moving. There was no arguing with her, so I sat up.

  "Good girl." She said as she walked out the door.

  I wish Moon would go check on him. I needed to know he was ok. I needed to know if it was over. I needed to talk to him. I needed Jase period.

  Without thinking, I grabbed my phone.

ME: I'm sorry.

  I waited for a response. But it didn't come. Nothing.

  Sam made us dinner and although I couldn't eat, I was grateful for her effort and her company. I was miserable, there was no getting around it. But Sam being there kept me from crawling into a ball in the corner. I kept my phone right beside me, waiting for Jase to respond. He didn't. I was laying on the couch trying to watch some TV show but my mind couldn't concentrate. The look on his face was burned in my memory. "
Go Home Lainey"
kept running through my mind, over and over. I didn't even realize Sam had walked outside until she opened the front door. The look on her face told me she knew something.

  "What?" I asked, my voice full of fear.

  She let out a loud exhale but just sat down on the couch.

  "What?!" I repeated. Oh my God, what if something happened to Jase? What if he had a girl over there? What if he told Moon it was over? My mind was racing.