Read LOVE QUAKES: BOXED SET (BOOKS 1-4) Online
Authors: J.S. Luxor
LOVE QUAKES: BOXED SET (BOOKS 1-4) (14 page)
Tristan’s face gets very serious while his eyes grow wary. I will myself to count to ten slowly as I attempt to breathe moderately.
“When I received the pics from Kristen last night, I was very upset. I have issues with trust, Joanna.”
“I’m sorry, Tristan,” I say while stroking his face and looking earnestly into his sad aqua eyes.
“And so you needed to speak with Kristen because I kissed Juan?”
“Well there’s more to it than that,” he says while holding his head between his large hands and looking at the floor.
My breathing’s now shallow. I take another large gulp of my wine. “Didn’t we just discuss this issue yesterday, with Jim Wong?” I ask with disbelief.
“After I saw you with Juan and Erik, it was late. I felt enraged and thought you were playing me for a fool. I was all keyed up after we made out in the SUV. I needed relief. The only kind of relief I know.”
“What sort of relief did you get?”
“I had one of Kristen’s escorts visit me here. She gave me some sexual relief.” I’m so angry at what he’s told me, I could punch him.
My world has just collapsed. “Dammit. What form of relief did this escort give you Tristan?” I’m close to thermonuclear rage now.
“She gave me a hand job. It was very quick and that’s all that happened!”
At this point, I’m up and out of my seat on the couch. My jealousy meter has now begun to register on the Richter scale.
“So you can’t do much with me sexually but you can let some random escort come in and get you off? What kind of weird, conflicted person are you?” I scream as I head for the door. “Why didn’t you call me until today?”
Tristan puts his wine glass down quickly and hobbles after me. He touches my arm gently and implores me to listen. Then he puts his arms around me and sobs with regret. I melt. He looks so torn and lost. He’s an emotional wreck now.
“Joanna that was my world. What I did last night was how I managed my emotions and all my relationships with women for many years. The escorts are simply a means of sexual relief. I want it to be different with you though.”
“How am I ever going to be able to trust you? I thought you were done with escorts and Kristen.”
“I think we don’t know each other well enough for me to fully trust you, Joanna. When Kristen sent me the pictures, I caved into my old habits. I’m so sorry,” he apologizes with sincerity. “I didn’t know how profoundly my jealous and paranoid tendencies would take hold of me. I hated myself immediately after it was done.”
I’m livid with anger. I count to twenty before my next question. “What will Dr. Wong say about your stunt?”
“I’ve already called and talked with him. He knows the use of escorts is my usual release. He urged me to think about the situation with Erik and Juan from your perspective.”
“Did that help restore your perspective?”
“Somewhat. Although he really wanted me to communicate with you. To hear your side of the story.”
“What does Wong think about your use of the escort last night?”
“That it’s time for me to really give them up. They’re no longer a source of comfort, just sex.”
“Did he point out that Kristen has you just where she wants you? She knows exactly how to yank your chain,” I shout with venom.
“Yeah he mentioned that. I hope that’s no longer going to be true. That’s why I’m in therapy.”
“You thought that I cheated on you and you told me that you weren’t going to use escorts again. Then you ended up cheating on me at the first hint of trouble. Does this make any sense at all?” I explode with unmitigated anger and a deep sense of betrayal. “How can I trust that you’ve changed Tristan? At the first tension, you cave in to your old habits!”
“Joanna please forgive me and give us a chance,” he implores me with the neediest, frightened expression I have ever seen on his face. “I’m so insecure and I like you so damn much.”
My heart feels like it’s been ripped in half. However, I want Tristan so badly it hurts. It’s true that we don’t know each other well. Building a relationship with him will be more than a challenge now. He’s working with a therapist that we both trust, though.
I run to his bathroom and lock myself in. Then I cry for a while. He comes to the door and knocks gently after a bit.
“Can we talk a little?” he pleads from the outside of the door.
“I can’t stand the fact that you doubted me so easily. You promised that you’d talk to me about these issues. It’s going to take me a while to forgive you Tristan.”
“I’ll wait Joanna. Please let me try to earn your trust again, baby,” he begs. That softens me a bit.
“There’s only one thing that you can do to start earning my trust again, Tristan,” I say in no uncertain terms.
“Whatever you want, Joanna,” he agrees quickly.
“Send Kristen the Cease and Desist Letter for Harassment immediately or I’m gone forever,” I insist.
THE END OF BOOK 2
LOVE QUAKES
THERAPY
Young Adult Seduction Series
Book 3 of 4
By J.S. Luxor
Copyright © 2013 J.S. Luxor
All rights reserved.
Luxor Productions. Kindle Edition.
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Cover Design by M.S. Luxor.
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Except for the original material written by the author, all songs, song titles and lyrics contained in this book are the property of the respective songwriters and copyright holders.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Tristan immediately calls his attorney and orders him to draw up a Cease and Desist Harassment Letter. He’ll send it to us for final approval within the hour. In the meantime, we continue our heated discussion.
“I can’t believe how quickly you’ve reverted to your old habits, Tristan,” I exclaim as I tremble from head to foot with shock. My body feels enraged and as though it’s about to explode.
Tristan hangs his head and apologizes profusely, “I’m an idiot…jealous, insecure, and possessive…I let my crazies take over when Kristen sent me those pictures of you. You looked so thrilled to spend time with Erik and Juan.”
“They’re my friends but what I feel or felt for you was so much more. You promised that you wouldn’t give in when there were tensions in our relationship. Were those photos
not
a tension in our relationship?” I nearly scream at him.
“Baby, when it comes to you, I’m so easily spooked. Please forgive me for doubting you, Joanna. I’ll do anything to prove to you that I want only you. Please, angel.” His green eyes fill with terror and need as he begs for understanding.
“If it’s true that you’ll do anything to prove how much I mean to you, then you won’t mind if I tell you that I need time and space to think about this relationship,” I announce with more confidence that I feel.
“Joanna, I’ve just found you. I need you, to touch and hold me, and to love,” he declares with the most forlorn expression on his beautiful face.
I just want to kiss his fears away and reassure him but I need to remember that he’s still in the hold of a powerful force. He holds his hands out to me. It takes all my strength to resist touching him.
“Tristan, I’m going to be starting my new job at TTP soon. Ashley’s returning from her parents’ place this week. My friend Juan wants me to attend his Summer Solstice party. I’m going to be quite busy for the next few weeks. You need to recover your full strength and ability. So, let’s just take a break,” I argue, before I lose my nerve.
“Please, no. I won’t heal as well, if you aren’t here,” he begs. Poor Tristan, he’s nearly out of control if he’s not able to have me near him. That’s endearing but I’m worried about that I’ll be one of his impulses.
“Well, you should have thought about that before you let someone else get you off,” I retort with sarcasm. “Why didn’t you let me give you a release?”
“Joanna, I wanted to teach you all about those skills slowly and not like that. However, when I thought you were two-timing me, I went ballistic. Seeing Juan’s hands and mouth on you made me crazy. Can’t we just take our relationship slow, for now?”
“I’m asking for a little time and space, OK? You’re a lot to take in, Tristan.”
Just then, Tristan’s phone signals and we look at the letter that he’s going to send to Kristen.
From: Tristan Grant, CEO, PCC Corporation
To: Kristen Powers
Re: No Harassment
Dear Ms. Powers:
I’m writing to inform you that your actions in contacting me or Ms. Joanna Prime with photographs, voice mails or phone calls are not acceptable. You must cease and desist such activities, immediately, since they violate our rights. We consider what you’ve done to us to be harassment.
We have the right to be free from your manipulative activities. I will consider legal action against you if your attempts to contact us with these materials continues. We may resort to calling the police or even suing you over your actions.
Not only do you need to stop the contact but you should send me a verbal confirmation that you will do so. If you don’t agree to stop sending these photos and calling us, I will consider using legal means to stop your behavior. This letter is your final warning to discontinue this unwanted conduct.
Sincerely,
Tristan Grant
“Is this letter clear enough, do you think?” he queries with anxiety in his eyes.
“Yeah, I think the letter is clear and just fine. Now, let’s send it,” I assert and look him straight in the eyes. If he’d done this the first time he composed the C&D email, we’d have been spared the drama with my pictures and likely with his escort sex as well.
He swallows once.
“I don’t want you to feel coerced, Tristan. Send it only when you’re truly ready to break your tie with Kristen,” I insist. My look is dead serious.
He looks at me with desire and need. He’s made his decision. He pushes the send button to Kristen and includes the draft note as well as the legal document, which is an email attachment. I hope that the letter will keep Kristen at bay, for a while.
“Good, that’s a start. Now, I think I’m going to leave,” I say and head towards the door of his penthouse. He looks at me like an abandoned child. I can hardly resist him as I open the heavy door and head toward the elevator. However, I must go or else I won’t respect myself. He needs to learn a lesson about being impulsive. I’m in my car and back to my apartment in a flash.
Once back at my place, I find an email from Ryan Tran telling me that I can start at TTP tomorrow, if I want. I let him know that’s just fine. Then I get to work organizing my pathetic wardrobe and cleaning up my entire apartment. I’ve hardly spent enough time here to call it home. It’s already evening when I’m done.
I wonder how Kristen will react to the Cease and Desist letter. She must have a lot of time on her hands, if she can drive down to campus to spy on me and take pictures of me at key moments. Maybe she hired a private eye. Whatever she did, it’s extremely obsessive behavior. Kristen’s desperate to be in full control of Tristan. I wonder if she’s stalking me even now. I look outside the window of my apartment but don’t notice anything out of the ordinary.
Tristan and I need to discuss all of these issues at some point. It won’t be tonight. Then, I’ll decide if I can cope with any sort of relationship with him. I’m going to put one foot before the other now, and focus on my career. I change into pajamas and get into bed. I also turn off my phone and try to sleep.
It’s no use as I’m tossing and turning in turmoil. Images of Tristan with someone’s hand on his toy keep flashing into my head. My mouth fills with vomit at the idea that another woman can give him the kind of release that should only be linked to me. Moreover, it’s all because he freaked when I let two guy friends touch me. Anger and resentment shoot through my body. Why did I have to fall so hard for a damaged man?
I need to be rested for my first day on the job tomorrow. There’re some sleeping pills in my bathroom cabinet that Dr. Laura gave me last year. I take one milligram of Ambien and quickly nod off.
When I wake up in the morning, it’s still much too early. I won’t need to be at TTP until 9am and it’s only five or a bit after. I decide that what I really need is a good long run. I pull on my Zumba pants and hoodie, clip the iPod on my arm holder and head out into the cool moist air of a coastal morning in early June. I feel someone’s gaze upon me but can’t locate the source.
After an hour of pushing myself beyond my everyday physical limits, I slow down to a pleasant jog. The beach near our apartment looks cool and foggy as I listen to
Rolling in the Deep performed by Adele.
The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can’t help feeling
We could have had it all
You’re gonna wish you never had met me
Rolling in the Deep.
I really want Tristan but what he’s done already scarred me. There’s no doubt I’m already in deep. Has my lack of experience with relationships led me to believe that we could’ve had it all? I thought I was going somewhere with this relationship but now, I’m at a loss because the person I thought I knew seems like a mystery. I want to trust him but can I?
I force myself to avoid looking at my phone. Tristan has probably called or left a text or two. If I read his texts, I won’t be able to concentrate, once I’m at my job. Therefore, I return to my apartment and take a shower then dress in a floaty skirt and simple white form-fitting top. I drive my ancient Honda to work at 8:30am.
My first day on the job becomes all-encompassing as soon as I arrive at TTP. Ryan Tran introduces me to the rest of the staff and even takes me to lunch. He’s quite friendly, avuncular, and helpful in explaining the support and co-facilitation exercise that he expects from me in group therapy sessions. I pour myself into every task he assigns with enthusiasm. I stay at my desk well beyond 5:30pm in order to impress him and the other members of my team with my conscientious work ethic. The day and my work are all absorbing.
I don’t think about Tristan or the dreaded Kristen, once. That’s such a relief. My coworkers, Janelle and Edwin, appear bright and motivated even though they’ve been here for over a year already. They’re more than ready to help me learn the job. Janelle is blond and energetic. Edwin is dark haired and thin but witty. TTP will take me to the next level in my career development in psychology. My job involves entering information that therapists report about the progress their clients are making, leading and co-leading group therapy activities, and helping clients complete their insurance forms. I like the feel and pace of the psych office already.
When I leave the building and head toward my car at 6pm, I see someone approach me in my peripheral vision. It’s Tristan and he looks desperate. Of course, he’s been following me, probably through my phone. I suspect he watched me go for a run near the beach this morning. He’s dressed in casual clothes since he’s been working from his condo during the day. Most of PCC’s still is being repaired since the earthquake struck.
“Joanna, can I take you to dinner?” he pleads with a hopeful look on his face, “I have an update about Kristen.”
“I’m not sure if I want to hear about that lunatic or if I can really trust you, Tristan,” I admit with a determined look on my face.
“I know I acted like an idiotic and should have let you explain your interactions with other men. Let me put my own reactions in perspective for you, Joanna.”
“I really want to know more about Kristen’s reaction to the C and D letter, but I’m not sure I can handle the info right now. You’ve also shocked me with your sexual habits. I’m feeling betrayed. Besides that, I’m so busy learning my new job at TTP that I’m exhausted,” I blurt out as quickly as I can. My hands are fisting at my sides.
“Let’s go to a quiet place for a meal and talk this out, please,” he requests. His lost green eyes burn with sincerity as he brushes the back of my knuckles with his fingers. The sparks are back already, dammit.