LOVE QUAKES: BOXED SET (BOOKS 1-4) (15 page)

“Alright,” I agree out of curiosity about Kristen more than anything else. “There’s a small pub across the street. It’s called The Boardwalk and I’ve been told that people from TTP go there on weekends.” I suggest and prepare myself for what’s to follow by breathing slowly.

His lips turn up a bit as he grazes his limb down my arm and grabs my right hand in his. My first instinct is to jerk it away but I realize that it would be a futile gesture. I love the feel of his hand on mine. I’m not ready to take him back yet but he can explain himself anyway.

“By the way, you look lovely, Joanna. How was your very first day at TTP?” he inquires with interest and sincerity.

“Thanks, I’m exhausted. It was what I expected and even more. I like my coworkers and my boss, Ryan Tran. The psychologists are very interesting. I’m learning so much about clients and therapy.”

His face clouds at the mention of Ryan’s name and a part of me wants to punish him with a mention of our lunch and discussion today. However, I stop myself when I see the look of concern on Tristan’s face. He’s such a tortured man.

“What’s your boss like?” Tristan asks, trying to look neutral.

“He’s middle aged, helpful and married with two children,” I add quickly to defuse his jealousy. “He’s very clear about how my work should be done. I also get advice from two advanced grad students, Janelle and Edwin. They’ve been teaching me all the unwritten rules in the new world of therapy and are really helpful and friendly.”

“That’s good to know, Joanna. It sounds like you found the right fit for your career,” he concedes. “It’s a much better job than what you applied for at PCC.”

“Every time I remember my interview with you I want to cringe,” I quip.

“Every time I remember that interview, I smile. You were adorable and looked so befuddled,” he chuckles.

I shake my head to clear it from shame. We order some toasted chicken and cheese sandwiches and beer in the nearly deserted restaurant.

I slide back into my chair and relax. “So, tell me the latest about Kristen and the C&D letter,” I demand.

“She left me a VM letting me know that she received and read my letter and said something like, she’d been warned and understood,” he confesses with a spark of excitement in his eyes. I wonder if he’s feeling free of her spell now.

“It’s a step forward. Now, if Kristen can just resist making contact with both of us. What I don’t understand is why she has all the pictures of me from campus and Mission Beach. Does she make a habit out of stalking all of your potential girlfriends?” I ask with evident irritation.

“Joanna, she probably just hired a private detective to track you. Further, she’s never had to worry about any of my potential girlfriends because you’re the first,” he admits with a tight smile. “Also, Kristen has her escorts take action shots of every client. It’s sort of an insurance policy for her. That’s how she was able to send you the pictures of me having sex.”

“I’m your first girlfriend? So, all of your other escorts were hand-picked by Kristen?” I’m stunned by the idea that she’s been in charge of his sex life all of these years. She’s like his sexual valet.

“I know it sounds weird, but it’s true. I thought I just wanted anonymous sex without emotional attachments. That’s what Kristen taught me in high school. She said love was for fools, and I was certainly no fool,” he explains in the most earnest way yet.

“Hmmm. So I’m the first woman to get you alone and tempt you with something other than escort sex?” I ask with a sarcastic tone to my voice. I’m actually quite thrilled to learn about my status.

“Joanna, there’s just something about you. Your scent, the incredible wide-eyed innocent look on your face, the electrical charge that seems to envelope us when we touch is magic. Being trapped with you in an elevator for more than a day sealed the deal for me. I felt such peace in my very deepest core when I held you in my arms that night. You changed me in a profound way,” he confesses with the most ardent look on his face.

He’s so incredibly angelic looking as he speaks that I nearly melt. His lips call out to me for a kiss. I swallow, hard. I’m determined to hang tough though.

“If you were so profoundly changed by me, why did you turn to Kristen the moment she planted a doubt about me in your mind?”

“I think because I imagined that you were too good to be true. How could this beautiful, smart, innocent young woman really like someone as dark and troubled as me? She can have her pick of young men. That’s what I feared. When I saw the pictures, it confirmed my deepest insecurities and I reverted to my usual habits,” he sobs with downcast eyes. His lovely eyes resemble the sea.

“So, you used Kristen’s escort to purge the desire for me from your system?” I speculate.

“My desire for you, which was stoked by our heavy petting session in the vehicle, combined with the jealousy I felt about the way you happily hugged and kissed Juan and Erik made me crazy. I thought about Kristen’s belief that ‘love was for fools’ and I felt vulnerable.”

“How did you feel once you had your sexual release?” I ask with sarcasm and anger.

“Terrible. It gave me a few minutes of relief from tension but nothing more. It wasn’t even rough sex. The escort was unknown to me. She came and went from my place in fifteen minutes. I hardly even looked at her face. The entire thing was an empty and unfulfilling experience,” he huffs and holds a hand over his mouth.

“Why was it an empty experience this time?” I probe like a therapist.

“Because, Joanna, I want much more than sex, now that I’ve met you. I want the magic that comes from connecting to another person on an emotional level. I think I want love. I no longer believe that it’s for fools. I think love comes to those who are fortunate. I want to further our connection and it’s not just about the physical connection. Will you please give us a chance, Joanna?” He strokes my face gently with the back of his knuckles. That’s quite a speech, Tristan, I think.

“I’ll certainly take your story seriously as I weigh the pros and cons of our relationship, Tristan. However, right now, I really need to drive home and get some sleep. I have a full-time job!” I announce proudly as I stand to leave. I feel like a new adult at last. Tristan follows me out of The Boardwalk like a naughty child who’s been sent to the principal. He walks me to my car.

“Good night, Joanna,” he wishes me and moves in for a kiss. I turn my cheek and let him kiss it briefly. Then, I push back from the contact and look into his needy green orbs. He’s hurting from my cool response.

“Sleep well, Tristan,” I respond but don’t return the kiss. I know his sleep will be restless and possibly filled with nightmares, without me nearby. He owes me and needs to pay his debt, however. I wonder how long I can possibly resist his charms. My core instincts tell me that Tristan truly loves and needs me. They also tell me that I need him, all of him, to be complete. I’m just unsure about whether he’s ready to turn his back on Kristen and the escorts for good. Unlike Tristan, I can be patient.

During the week, Tristan and I text a bit but there’s been no other contact. His family’s going to be spending time with him during the week. I hope they keep him occupied. As much I hate to admit it, I miss him terribly. However, the week flies by as I learn more about the clients and psychological problems that TTP handles. My skills at analyzing psychological profiles improve with training from Ryan and Janelle. She works at the desk across from mine and both of us enjoy working for Mr. Tran. His thorough style and sincere manner reassure me that his guidance will be professional. He’s also paunchy and fortyish with thinning hair and horn-rimmed dark glasses. He’d never be a threat to Tristan.

On Wednesday around noon, I have a visit from the delivery service of a local florist. He brings me a lovely orchid and bamboo plant. It’s from Tristan and signed ‘Please Forgive Me, Joanna. Wishin’ and Hopin’ Baby, Tristan”. Janelle and Edwin are impressed and make googly-eyed faces at me from across the room.

“From your boyfriend?” Janelle asks.

“Yeah…kind of…we’re still finding our way,” I tell her with hesitation. They smile at one another with knowing looks. I think I get it; they’re dating.

“Nice touch,” Edwin comments with a smirk. I’m moved by Tristan’s thoughtfulness and I text him a thank you with a  :D and some kind words.

Both Janelle and Edwin are incredibly optimistic about their work at TTP. During the day, we compare ideas about the latest trends in therapy. Janelle wears her blonde hair long and curly. She dresses casually in Converse slip-ons and skinny jeans with colorful cotton tops. We’re already becoming friends after a few days. Edwin is the same age as Janelle and seems to have a huge crush on her. He laughs at whatever lame jokes she makes on a regular basis. It’s hot.

I wonder what I’ll do with myself this weekend. Ashley returns on Friday night, late. Since I’m not planning to see Tristan this weekend, maybe I’ll ask Janelle to introduce me to San Diego’s night scene. That’s if she doesn’t have plans with Edwin. I’ll eat lunch with them and in the meantime, I’ll scroll through the club and bar options on Yelp. I find a place near where I live and it has impressive reviews.

After Ryan returns from a meeting with his boss in the late morning, he calls both Janelle and me into his office.

He smiles enthusiastically when we sit down and then announces, “The boss just Okayed a trip for all three of us to a psychology conference in NYC next week. It’s an important gathering. I hope both of you are able to fit it in your schedules?” We nod. “Edwin can take care of business here since he went with me, last spring.”

“I’ve never been to NYC before. I’m  really excited about it,” I add with my prom-queen smile.

“Remember, we’re paying you to attend the conference and not tour around but I understand your excitement. It’s a  yearly conference that trains analysts about the newest intervention trends. The speakers, exhibitions and participants will cover cutting-edge trends in therapy and the latest practice models,” Ryan  explains with a flush on his face. This conference must be a highlight for him too.

Janelle and I look at one another and nod, “It works for us, Ryan. Tell us more!” I blurt out.

“You’re going to have a blast there,” Ryan  promises us with his hands on his wide hips. “You won’t want to miss the major keynote addresses. Then we’ll have breakout training sessions, therapy exhibits and of course, networking.”

My smile widens as I think about how much we’ll learn there and what we can do on our off time, if any. “Should I make reservations then?”

“That’s thoughtful, Joanna, but not necessary. The office manager will find a hotel and conference discount for our group,” Ryan  says with a friendly look. He’s in such a good mood now.

Then I return to my desk, I Google the name of the conference and find see that the keynote speakers have impressive reputations. They’ll speak on topics such as “Picking the Right Dose”, “Facebooking Therapy Sessions” and “Tweets for ACT”. This gathering will be a chance to learn about and meet the cream of the crop in my field. Next week won’t be dull and might help fill the void left by Tristan.

The remainder of my day flies by as I read and enter more of the data on therapy techniques and outcomes that Ryan  sends my way. He’s very efficient and careful with the directions he gives me about what needs to happen on my end of the equation. The work absorbs me.

At lunch, Janelle and Edwin tell me that I’m welcome to join them on Saturday evening at a place near Mission Beach called Luigi’s.

“Yeah, I found it on Yelp and there were raves about the pizza and the service.”

Edwin fills me in on the food and drinks, “The best drink ever is the Moscow Mule and the Greek Pizza with a thin crust is amazing.”

Janelle adds, “I like the Ginger Beer and the service is friendly. The last time we went, the Sounders were playing downstairs. Usually, on weekends, there’s a DJ downstairs.”

I can’t imagine dancing there. I’m so uncoordinated. “Cool, who goes there?”

“Everyone goes, except the tourists. It’s near the beach with a green awning and dark paneled walls. Its sooooo…hip,”  she whispers and makes a sizzling sound. It sounds like a great diversion from Tristan.

On Friday afternoon, at least ten workers from TTP head for The Boardwalk and I join them for Happy Hour. I’m with Janelle. Edwin promises to join her later. Ryan heads out with the announcement that he needs to pick the kids up from soccer practice. Good, he’s a devoted father. I spend time getting to know the guys from accounting, Peter and Mark, as well as our receptionist, Amanda, and some of the senior therapists. Everyone seems friendly and energetic. We eat bar food and I sip on a glass of Coors.

I decide to head home to wait for Ashley at 8pm. All during my time at The Boardwalk, I feel as though someone is watching me but I don’t notice anyone familiar. Well, maybe it’s just me, being paranoid.

Once I’m home and all alone, I ache for the company of a certain gorgeous man who’s probably feeling equally needy. I think about his long legs, firm ass and perfectly shaped chest. I get excited when I remember how it felt to touch and hold him. He loves my touch. An image of his excited face floats into my mind when I recall the make out session we had in his SUV. Tristan seemed so thrilled with our contact. He’s got the most handsome face with his aqua eyes, straight nose and flushed complexion. What’s really attractive about Tristan, however, entails his needy look. That abandoned and lost look gets to me every time.

I’m just taking my shoes off while sitting on my couch when the door buzzes. I assume its Ashley and buzz her up. She knocks a few minutes later and I pull the door open with a welcoming smile. Except it’s not Ashley.

I nearly melt when I see my Tristan standing before me looking like he’s more than thrilled to see me. Some burly looking but friendly blond fellow accompanies him. “Tristan, what’re you doing here? I thought you had family staying with you all week?”

“I do, Joanna. Meet my brother, Eddie,” he gestures and beams. He’s holding a bottle of dripping wet and cold champagne.

How can I possibly turn them away? Good move, Tristan, I think. “Good to meet you, Eddie! Umm, would you two like to come in for a drink?”

“Hey, Joanna, this guy’s been moping around for the past two days and talking about you like an obsessed fool. If this isn’t a good time, we can come back later. I forced Tristan to drop in for a visit. I had to put him out of his misery and came along out of curiosity,” Eddie booms and hugs me. Well. He’s more than friendly. I like him immediately. He’s quite a contrast to Tristan.

Tristan takes my hand and kisses it. “Do you have any champagne glasses, Joanna? We need to celebrate your first week at TTP.”

“Somewhere…let me look around. Why don’t you two have a seat on the couch? Better yet, why don’t you find some music on the IPod and put it on the speakers?”

Tristan looks victorious as he puts the bottle of Grande Millennium on our side table. He selects “Back to December” by Taylor Swift from my IPod. Hmmm. That’s an interesting choice of lyrics. I’ll have to listen to them more carefully when I’m alone.

I manage to find some champagne glasses that Ashley purchased at Crate and Barrel. My hands are fumbling as I remove them from the cupboard. I peek at the beautiful man sitting next to his bearish brother, Eddie, on my couch. He’s wearing skinny jeans, a white shirt that’s open at the collar and his soft green eyes are glowing with excitement. There’s no doubt I want to be with Tristan. He’s pushing all the right buttons in my book. I ache with need for him.

My mouth waters as I watch him talk to his brother about the music. He looks more than edible.

His smile dazzles me as he meets my gaze, “How was your first week at work, Joanna?”

“It was fine, Tristan. I love everything about the work so far. Are you ready to open the bottle?” I ask while placing the glasses on the coffee table with trembling hands. Eddie watches us talk with a smirk on his face but says nothing. I wonder if he can feel the charged atmosphere between Tristan and me.

Tristan twists the wire protection off the foil and turns the bottle to release the cork, with ease. He pours us each a generous amount of the bubbly liquid and we toast. He looks at me for nearly the entire time that we drink. He’s so graceful and wants me so very much.

“To Joanna’s career in psychology,” he announces. I gaze at him with appreciation. I see the start of a smile on his beautifully sculpted lips. We clink and drink all the way around.

“To earthquakes and elevators,” Eddie adds with an enthusiastic laugh. Tristan and I exchange sizzling hot looks. I’m remembering how tightly he held me during our night together on those air mattresses.

“Absolutely, if it weren’t for the earthquake Joanna would have floated through my life without any further contact,” Tristan adds and takes a long drink. In the next moment, he swiftly sets his glass down. Then he gently pulls me into his arms and looks down at me with those anxious but entranced aqua eyes. I’m already lost in his ocean of need. 

Eddie clears his throat. The door buzzes loudly at that magical moment. I disentangle myself, with reluctance, from Tristan’s embrace to use the intercom.

“Ashley?”

“Joanna, yeah, it’s me… and I’ve got a load of luggage. Do you think you can help me with it?”

“Sure. I think I can send down someone who can easily help you with your load,” I giggle and gesture to Eddie with a quizzical look.

“Your roommate?” Eddie asks while nodding his agreement and shrugging why not. This should be interesting.

“Juan?” Ashley asks.

“His name is Eddie Grant,” I respond with enthusiasm. Tristan looks at me with a sexy smile.

I click off the intercom and open the door for Eddie. He quickly bounds off the couch and down the three flights of stairs. I hear the door open below and then the sound of a quick intake of breath. I know from the sound, that he’s just seen Ashley in all her splendor.

Tristan makes his way to me as we stand at the open door. His touch, as always, sends an electric pulse through my entire body. I’m in his arms as his lips find my head and kiss it. He smells my hair and says with feeling, “I don’t know how I’ve resisted you for the past four days. I’ve missed you, Joanna. I need you.”

I squeeze his hands with enthusiasm. I feel exactly the same way.